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If Rich, Beautiful Women Get Cheated On, What Chance Do I Have?

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Cheating happens all the time – guys are notorious for cheating, and a lot of women do it too. It’s often the butt of many jokes, and there’s a lot of guys who don’t think infidelity is serious business. With all the cheating going on in the press to girls who look like they’d never get cheated on, ever. If girls who have it all get cheated on, is there any stopping cheating from happening to the average woman? Are girls who get married doomed to be subjected to adultery, no matter how pretty, nice, kind, funny or awesome they are? Do some guys just need to get it on with a different girl every now and then to be satisfied sexually, or is there a way to prevent it from ever happening?

Why do men cheat on beautiful, famous women? Where’s the hope for the rest of us when even celebrities can’t have a faithful spouse? I’m getting married soon and all this high profile infidelity is making me nervous!

What She Said:

I understand your pre-wedding jitters, but odds are good your husband will not turn out to be a cheater.

Why Do They Do It?

Why do men cheat? Because they can. Aside from that cynical joke, there’s obviously no formula to figure out what makes men stray. Some men cheat on famous women in order to restore balance in the power system. Perhaps the hubby of a celebrity feels emasculated because his wife makes more money than he does. Cheating can even the playing field in the dynamics of a marriage. Yes, it’s completely passive-aggressive – but that could explain the mindset at play.

Men are obviously loaded with testosterone – powerful men possibly more so. Not only is there a strong biological imperative to “spread the seed,” there’s also the fact that men who are with famous women are used to getting what they want, when they want it.

Regardless of who a man marries, I still believe there’s one big reason a guy would be unfaithful – if he’s not happy at home, he’s bound to look elsewhere. Everything else is superfluous and out of your control.

Enter With Full Trust

Give yourself (and your fiancé) the gift of going into your marriage full of trust, love, hope and an open heart. This should be the happiest time of your life; don’t spoil it by fretting over the end of others’ unions. Don’t cross the “he cheated on me” bridge until you come to it – if you come to it. Besides, if you’re marrying a man who’s your best friend in and out of the bedroom, you really won’t have a thing to worry about.

What He Said:

“Show me the most beautiful woman in the world and I will show you a guy who’s tired of fucking her.” — Chris Rock.

Can Men Really Be Monogamous?

It’s an exaggeration to some degree, but there’s also some degree of truth to it. Some men just need some “strange” from time to time. They say men aren’t wired to be monogamous, I’m not sure women are either. I don’t think it’s natural for us to only be with one person for life.

That doesn’t mean it isn’t doable or that it’s a bad thing. There are all different kinds of people out there and there are all different kinds of relationships. The fact that he has a penis doesn’t mean he will be screwing anything that moves.

There’s not much you can do to keep him faithful and more than he can do to keep you faithful. If you never give him a reason to stray, you’re off to an amazing start. And if that doesn’t work, just screw his brains out. Screw him stupid to the point where he is physically unable to be with anyone else. That’s the M.O. of several of my married female friends.

Weatherproof Your Marriage

You can’t go into this marriage with the idea that he’s going to cheat. That’s not going to get you anywhere you want to go. It is helpful to realize that this is a distinct possibility and plan accordingly. You don’t have car insurance because you want to get in an accident, you have it in case you do. That can mean you have a pre-nup or that simply you are aware it could happen and do everything you can do to weatherproof your marriage. That’s not being paranoid, that’s being positively proactive. You get what you put in.

He Doesn’t Want To “Label” Us – What Does That Mean?

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Good relationship advice would be to go with the flow and let things develop naturally. But what do you do if your S.O. refuses to talk about it?

What does it mean when a guy says he isn’t seeing anyone else but isn’t ‘a labels guy?”

What She Said:

I’m guessing it means he wants to have his cake and eat it too. As played out as that old adage is, there’s a reason it’s still around. Without labels, your guy is freed from defining the relationship while still reaping the benefits of your company. The question you have to ask yourself is: Are you having fun and, if so, why do you care what it’s called?

One thing that’s crucial in this equation is time. How long have you been seeing each other? If you’ve only been hanging out a few weeks (or even a few months), back off from trying to define the terms. No one likes to be pushed and you’ll never see a guy run faster than if you try to pin him down. Men are attracted to women who have a sense of independence; needing to give a name to something doesn’t always reflect that trait.

On the other hand, if it’s been a prolonged amount of time and everything (other than the title) points towards the two of you being serious and exclusive, you deserve to know. You have the right to this information, both sexually and emotionally. If you’re in a committed relationship (i.e. monogamous), you can explore options other than condoms. A “title” also gives you the go ahead to release your heart and invest in your companion emotionally.

Follow your instincts. If you feel enough time has passed, broach the subject. If he’s willing to happily give you an answer, proceed. If a significant amount of time has passed and he still hems and haws, pick up a copy of He’s Just Not That Into You. You’ll figure out the rest from there!

What He Said:

Well, he could be a player who is into dating them and letting them go. Or maybe he’s not ready for a serious relationship and is trying to give you realistic expectations of where he’s at. Or maybe you seem a bit clingy or that you’re moving too fast to soon, as least as far as he’s concerned, and he might want to put the brakes on.

Then again, who the hell cares what it means. How am I supposed to know anyway? What am I? Oprah? Seriously, it doesn’t really matter what it means, because clearly you have a problem with it. It’s not sitting right with you for whatever reason. You’re clearly having a gut reaction on this one. So why aren’t you going with it? Why are you asking two people you don’t know?

Ask him straight up. Don’t let him give you anything other than a straight answer. Let him know that whatever the answer is is okay, but you do want to know where he’s at, no bullshit. And you have to mean that. He may think it’s a trick, so assure him it’s not. It may take some prying, but you will get the answer out of him. Evaluate it, and either move forward or don’t.

 

 

 

 

Sex Tips: Help! I Want To Spice Up Our Sex Life!

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Sex is only as hot as you make it – if you’re always doing it with the lights off and in the missionary position, you’ll get bored. It’s easy for both men and women to get bored with sex, especially when they’re in a long term, monogamous relationship. If you and your partner could have lost that lovin’ feeling, how do you turn the heat up?

I love my girlfriend. She’s amazing, but the sex isn’t. It’s strictly “lights out, missionary style” sex. I need a bit more kink in my coffee, so to speak. How can I get her to spice up our sex life?

What She Said:

In a word, ask. Be sure to couch it in terms of wanting to explore and share with her. The moment you start placing the blame on her for your lack of variety is the moment you’re most likely not going to be getting laid for quite awhile!

I’m not sure of your ages, but this could just be an issue of lack of experience versus resistance to trying new things. Learn about new positions together – that way she won’t feel intimidated or inadequate.

Check in with her comfort level – you don’t want to scare her off. But if she’s game, pick up a copy of the Kama Sutra and start circling things you want to try. Couples erotica might also help give her some visual tips. Do a little research and find something “soft core” that appeals to women. Adding a sexy “bedtime” story via will also give your gal a nudge towards variety.

In the end it’s all about having fun, being safe and doing what comes naturally. With some suggestions, communication and compassion I’m guessing your repertoire together will be expanded in no time!

What He Said:

There are tons of different ways. You can get books that have a new sex position to try each and every day of the year. You can get a liberator or sex swing, and those each come with a plethora of positions that you can only do with those two pieces of equipment.

The actuality of trying new positions is incredibly simple. The more challenging part will be adding a little spice into your straight vanilla sex.

That is, getting your partner to agree to add it.

Talk to her about it and find out what her objections are. They could be religious, or she could just have history of un-inventive partners. Maybe she’s afraid of being a whore or slut or has some kind of sexual insecurities.

Whatever they may be, you’ll have to get a dialogue going and you’ll have to get her to open up about these things, and come to some kind of consensus. It may not be easy to get this information out of her. You may be feeling like you’re peeling back the layers of an onion, and in some ways you are. But be loving and be patient.

Be prepared to take baby steps as well. She’s probably not going to go from straight vanilla to Rick James overnight (though that would be hot!)

She’ll more likely take a baby step in a particular direction (talking dirty, for example) and then she’ll feel awkward, nervous and then look to you for feedback. Always be loving and caring and nurturing. Whatever she did was amazing, even if it’s not really. You must give it time. She’s learning a new skill and nobody is great at a new skill right off the bat.

Relationship Advice: We Both Want To Live In Different Places!

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Good relationship advice is warranted if you and your partner don’t see eye to eye about where you live. Of course, for a good relationship where you and your partner are both happy, you pretty much have to live at least in the same town. Most couples in committed relationships prefer to live together. What should you do if you both want different things?

My live-in boyfriend and I are at odds over a seemingly small issue: we reside in a small town. I’m really bored, but my BF wants to stay. I don’t want to break up, but living where I don’t want to is beginning to feel like a big compromise.

What She Said:

What’s the big picture? How is the state of your relationship? Do you think he’s your soul mate? These are all really important questions you need to be asking yourself, the sooner the better.

If you’re serious about this guy and you see a future with him, maybe where you live isn’t as important as how you live. Perhaps a small town versus the big city isn’t as big of a deal when you have love. Look around at what your town has to offer. Does the slower pace allow you to focus on your hobbies? What’s the quality of life like day to day? Maybe you aren’t thrilled about where you live, but you can improve your experience regardless of residence.

The flip side: Are you marking time with someone you dig – for now? If so, it might be time to take a hard look at your relationship. You’ve got some big choices to make. The safety of companionship can be great – but if you’re passing up life for comfort, you’re doing a great disservice to yourself and your boyfriend.

There are tons of compromises in a long-term union. If you’ve asked all the hard questions and determined you want to stay with your BF then maybe it’s your turn to ask a difficult question of him: I’m willing to stay for you. Are you willing to move for me?

What He Said:

How is this not a deal breaker? If you want to go and he wants to stay, and you’re both set in your ways, then this is a situation that has been brought to a head (and not in a fun way). You either stay here and be miserable but still have your man, or you go off to the big city and you get to do your thing (though minus the boyfriend) and maybe you are more or less happy there.

I guess the real question here is why are you both so set in your ways on the issue? Why are you looking to leave? What is there that you can’t get where you are at? Is it a career opportunity, or is the grass simply greener?

While we’re on the subject of questions, why is he so deadest against going? Is it a family thing? A job? Is he a big fish in a small pond? There are certainly several valid reasons he might not want to go, but then again, it might not be a valid reason.

If all you need is love and he has you and he loves you, why wouldn’t he want to go? I know a woman who moved to L.A. to be an actress. Times were hard and she packed it in and went back to Texas, where she promptly met a guy and fell in love. When she confided in him that her dream was to be an actress, he insisted that they drop everything and move back to L.A. right after they got back from the honeymoon. That, my friends, is a stud.

Why isn’t your man doing that for you? That’s the real question, and the answer is far more important than which town you end up

How Do We Get The Passion Back?

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Sex loses it’s luster after many months and years into a marriage. It’s easy for one or both partners to get comfortable with each other, which is actually one of the best benefits of marriages but can also wreak havoc on a great love life. Your sex life isn’t doomed though – here’s how to put the fire back into it.

I’ve been married for six years. I still love my husband very much, but we’ve become best friends instead of lovers. How do I add the sexual spark back into our relationship?

What She Said:

Don’t fret; your position is a common one. The great news is that the important components are here – love and friendship. You’re obviously in it for the long haul and nothing is more important than the unconditional love and companionship you and your husband share.

That said, sex is obviously a very important part of marriage – not to mention a lovely way to connect. It’s natural when passion fades. Our bodies aren’t made to keep up that level of hormonal output. The pheromones were there in order to draw you together; what you do with the rest is up to you and your hubby!

Putting The Spark Back In

How to add the spark back into your sex life? Start by thinking of all the things you appreciate about your husband. That will most likely lead to feelings of tenderness and will leave you more open to lovemaking. A romantic date night is still a tried and true approach of lighting the proverbial fires – an intimate dinner and a bottle of wine can go a long way!

Also take some time to reflect on your courtship. What made you hot then? Did you surprise him after work with a blowjob? Did you make out at the movies? Did you sneak off and have sex in the bushes outside your favorite club? Were you into costumes? If so, it might time to dust off the pom poms and slip into that cheerleading outfit! Revisiting the sexy times you two shared in the early portion of your relationship will most likely lead to a reinvigorated sex life in the now.

Don’t forget the day-to-day – hugging, kissing and saying, “I love you” keeps the connection open and reminds you both that you’re much more than friends.

What He Said

Things change. Mostly likely this started when the two of you took your eyes off the collective ball. You have to put in the effort to make the spark stay alive over time. That’s just how it is. It’s like this: If you look like a bodybuilder and you want to keep looking like a bodybuilder, you need to keep working out on a regular basis. You can’t stop working out for six months and then wonder why you aren’t in as good of shape as you used to be. It’s not magic, you (both) stopped putting the work in.

It’s far easier to maintain something than it is to re-create something.

That’s the bad news.

The good news is that it’s faster to get back in shape than it is to get in shape in the first place. Your body remembers what it was like to be in shape and wants to go back to that.

So does your relationship. You can get it back. But you will both need to accept that you’re romantically out of shape before you can get back into shape. Take sometime to figure out how you fell in love in the first place and recreate it. It will take a bit of time, but it will be worth it. A romantic getaway is a great way to start. It might be a bit of effort, but it’s worth it.