Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for loveandsex

Foreplay – Why You Never Want To Skip It, Ever

By

Foreplay is something that you should always do, every single time you have sex. Here’s why foreplay is absolutely essential to great sex.

Foreplay is often understood as the set of activities done before actual intercourse. The typical menu includes kissing, caressing, getting & giving head, touching, groping, hugging, fingering etc. Men feel like dogs if they don’t engage in it, and they’ve heard or read somewhere that plenty of it makes them a great lay – so they sign up. Foreplay makes gentlemen out of horny boys.

Doesn’t matter if you’re a newbie or an expert, foreplay works like a charm – definitely gets a woman going.

A guy only falls short when he thinks of it merely as a ploy to get his woman worked up and pre-heat her ovens. If he sees foreplay simply as a preliminary, he will effectively dismiss it the moment he considers her ready to receive him. That’s how a goal-oriented person behaves! When the goal is struck, one moves on to other things.

Why Women Love It

Because it largely embodies what women, the XX gender, are all about.

They want it far, far more than any other part of the program, yes, even penetration. Not because they need extra ticks to heat up, but because it is in foreplay that their physical and emotional needs are met.

She wants to feel needed, wanted and appreciated. Kissing, caressing and gazing into her eyes accomplish exactly that. It makes her gasp, “Wow, he thinks more of me than just a vagina on heels!” It’s the most personal part of the act, and probably the only time her presence is being fully recognized. (Because when the pumping begins, men often fly off to their own worlds and forget about their partners.)

But foreplay bridges the emotional and the physical. To her, it captures the essence of the phrase: Being with a man.

And something very interesting happens during foreplay. Eve not only senses the touch, the physical connection, but the emotional underpinnings as well. For example, when you kiss her, she doesn’t just feel the lips touching, she relishes the emotional bond. (This connection is what women fuss about.)

In addition to this, it is especially designed for the senses. The sensual bombardment is so remarkable, and the potential for pleasure so high, that it rivals the ecstasy of an orgasm. Being multi-sensory, significantly fascinated by process and details, women relish every drop of the stuff going on. The smell of candles, the sound of lip-locks, the caress of your fingers, the slow and steady build-up of sexual heat – women are sucker for these.

Not that sensual bliss is solely found in foreplay, but tastefully done, it can be like one long orgasm.

The Grossly Underplayed Card

In a committed relationship, there are certain physical accesses and privileges that only YOU, her partner, can avail of.

Foreplay is one.

No one else is licensed to connect with her in the manner that you are encouraged to. Not even her long time girlfriend can do that to her body, as society limits them to hugs & kisses. Only you are tolerated to caress her breasts, lick her body or slip your fingers without a lawsuit. Nobody else has that privilege of ravishing and indulging her.

Only you. Hands, tongue, any part of you, can mesh with hers – without apologies and without restraint.

Unfortunately, this is an underused card. Men take foreplay for granted, not understanding their total franchise of her body, mistaking kisses and caresses as means to an end.

The irony, is that out of the many uncontrollable emotional forces operating inside your woman’s body, one of the most potent is the yearning to be kissed & touched. She’s dying to be kissed and craving to be touched. She wants the warmth of another person. In a committed relationship, the source of all that (and more), is you. The only one who can fill such an unimaginable need.

Think about that for a moment.

Blowjob Tips: How To Give Head To An Uncircumcised Penis

By

A blowjob should be different for an uncircumcised guy – you’re not necessarily going to use the same blowjob tips for an uncircumcised guy as you would a circumcised one. Your technique should differ a little between the two, if you really want to be a master at giving a blowjob. So here’s what you need to know if he’s uncut.

Getting Clean – It’s His Job

Most of the care for an uncircumcised penis is in the man’s court – that is to say, it is his responsibility to keep his penis, foreskin and underneath his foreskin clean and dry for your comfort during fellatio. An uncircumcised penis has more crevices in which debris and bacteria can hide, making it unpleasant for the woman during fellatio. By making sure that his penis is clean, an uncircumcised male can ensure that his partner will enjoy fellatio as much as he does.

Most men already do this – and have been from a young age. However, some uncircumcised guys don’t – and that can make things pretty unpleasant for the girl. If your guy isn’t super clean, you can always make a shower part of foreplay and make washing his penis sexy. Soap him up and rub him down while you talk dirty in his ear – you’ll fire him up for a great blowjob and get him clean in one fell swoop, without him ever knowing what you were really up to.

Being A Little More Careful

Of course, the woman must keep her end of the bargain up as well – even if his uncircumcised penis is clean, trimmed and ready to go, she must be more careful with her fellatio technique than she would if she were performing fellatio on a circumcised male. Why is that? Remember, a circumcised penis has had thousands and thousands of sensitive nerve endings removed. As a result, although a circumcised penis is very receptive to touch, it is more desensitized than an uncircumcised penis. A man will never know the difference, since he is either one or the other, but a woman that has been performing fellatio on a circumcised penis is used to stronger, more direct strokes. It is very important that for an uncircumcised man, a woman use less direct strokes and a softer approach.

So it is safe to say that the fellatio technique used on a circumcised male is a lot rougher than the technique that would be used on an uncircumcised male. A woman performing fellatio on an uncircumcised penis needs to be especially careful not to scrape her teeth on her partner’s penis or suck too hard – the foreskin is so sensitive to these maneuvers that a stroke that is too hard or rough may turn him off at best and cause him pain at worst.

As long as the female is gentle and the penis is clean, fellatio on an uncircumcised male can be a pleasant experience for both the man and the woman!

Dirty Talk, Role Play & The Holidays!

By

Dirty talk and role play are fun, but can be even more so when the end of the year hits. Here’s how to have some sexy fun this holiday season!

Once you’ve gotten used to using words and dirty talk in the bedroom, couples sometimes choose to venture into role playing. This can allow your dirty talk to evolve further because you’ve changed the dynamics and this opens up more opportunities to converse in a sexual setting.

Hot Role Play Examples!

  • Prisoner and Warden’s daughter
  • Professor and Naughty School Girl
  • Headmistress and Pupil
  • Adam and Eve
  • Cowboy and Cowgirl at the Rodeo
  • Nurse and Patient
  • Doctor and Patient
  • Hollywood Starlet and Producer (imagine the casting couch audition)
  • The Professor and Maryann
  • Boss and the Sexy Secretary
  • Police Officer and the Traffic Stop (works for either sex being in charge)
  • Stripper and Club Patron
  • Photographer and Model
  • Rock Star and Groupie

More Great Ideas….

Take the initiative and surprise him by handcuffing him to the bed (you can use silk scarves if you don’t have the real thing) and tell him he’s under arrest!

Advise him of his rights – that he’s not allowed to do anything but watch as you pleasure yourself. After you’ve put on quite a show for him and you have had an orgasm for him, ask him if he wants to be freed from the handcuffs so he can join in, but make him work for it! He’ll need to convince you of why he should be set free – maybe you’ll let him off for some “good behavior,” or just make him beg!!

Dress Up & Holidays

Take role playing a step further by dressing up. People use Halloween as a time to throw on an outfit and for an evening pretend like they are someone else. Imagine your wife in a sexy little Fireman’s outfit – while you lay in the bed screaming that you’re on fire and wait for her to come to your rescue. There are so many themes you can use and you can purchase affordable costumes online or make your own.

For some people, you can lower your inhibitions by playing dress up and getting to act like you are someone you’re not with an outfit sometimes makes it easier to throw a few words around that you might not say on a normal encounter.

You can work other holidays besides Halloween to your advantage as well. On Valentine’s Day set the mood by changing out the light bulbs in your bedroom to the red ones they sell at party supply stores. Surprise him or her with chocolates and champagne in bed and a homemade card with a dirty talk story that you’ve written about how you want to celebrate the night.Chris

Christmas Ideas

The whole month of December can be used for Christmas ideas. Stick a sprig of mistletoe into the belt loops of his pants with a little dirty talk note telling him in great detail where you plan to kiss him once he gets home from work. It will be a tough day at the office for him to think of anything else besides quitting time.

Wrap your headboard in Christmas lights and your partner when he or she is heading home from the office or puling into the driveway with a little dirty talk. Tell your beloved that you have blown a fuse and that the lights are not working in your bedroom. Once he or she arrives home to check out the situation, be waiting and using your best dirty talk let him or her know that the only real outlet in the room is waiting to be plugged into by the electrifying, red hot cock!

Any holiday can work to your advantage. Think outside the box! Be creative.

Orgasm Tips – How The Orgasm Cycle Works In Men And Women

By

An orgasm is the icing on the cake when it comes to sex, but men and women don’t experience an orgasm the same way. Here’s how to understand the difference.

The “Human Sexual Response” is a cycle of 4 stages. They are:

  • Excitement
  • Plateau
  • Orgasm
  • Resolution

Stage One – Excitement

This happens the first instance you see a scrumptious fox on the street (or on TV). Really, any physical or psychological event that causes parasympathetic nerve stimulation can commence the cycle. The stimuli vary and may also take the form of a sound, emotion or a naughty thought.

Things get ugly right away – your heart starts racing, respiratory rates shoot up, blood flow to the genitals increases. In seconds, little Johnny would have grown a few inches. Your scrotum thickens and the testes rise. It’s official, you’re horny.

A woman similarly experiences increased blood flow to the genital area, causing her clitoris to swell. The vagina increases in diameter & length, her cervix and uterus are pulled up. She starts producing more lubrication and is getting very wet. Her breast and nipples become erect, and she starts breathing heavily as heart and respiratory rates shoot up.

Now, while there are many similarities in how the genders experience Excitement, there is one glaring difference. Generally, MEN GET HOT IN AN INSTANT. Snap! And we’re good to go. Women need a reasonable time. For the life of us, we cannot understand why it takes a woman ages to be ready. For her part, she can’t comprehend the ridiculous speeds with which guys can be neutral one second and insanely horny the next.

Recognize this distinction in arousal speeds. This single disparity will snowball through intercourse. Because they get aroused in an instant, men will often misjudge the readiness of their partners as they lustfully advance to the rest of the stages. As a result, women often feel left behind, even left out of the SEX. Not good.

Stage Two – Plateau

“Plateau” may bring images of restful leisure, but don’t be mislead, PLATEAU is a turbulent stage – no restful leisure here. Remember those ugly things that take over your body during the Excitement Stage? Well, they continue with full abandon during Plateau.

Heart rate reaches as high as 175 lustful beats a minute. Respiratory rates remind you of your track and field days, (who says sex isn’t a sport?) Your penis undergoes extreme congestion and you’ll be seriously thinking if it can explode or fly off your body. This is where you do most of the works – kissing, sucking, penetration, sexual positions etc.

Stage Three – Orgasm

Orgasm, this is the money-maker right here. Lasting only a few seconds, O’s are considered the most ecstatic moments of a person’s existence. After tension building in stages 1&2, blood congestion in the genitals is suddenly and decisively expelled through muscular contractions. This may sound straightforward, but the euphoria of discharging built-up tension sends people through the roof, profanity may be the only sufficient way to describe a pleasure-intensive experience.

Male vs. Female Orgasm

ROUND 1 – The First Blow

Who can orgasm faster?

Both male & female, with proper stimulation, can peak in 2 minutes or less. However, consider the labels. A man who ejaculates in a heartbeat becomes a Premature Ejaculator – a woman achieving the same feat, with moans and everything, is called a keeper.

ROUND 2 – Point Of No Return & Refractory Period

The POINT OF NO RETURN (PNR) is the point of stimulation after which no force in heaven or earth can stop a man from having an orgasm.

During masturbation or intercourse, a man crosses a line after which it is impossible to stop climaxing…even if he stops stimulation. It doesn’t matter if the security guard is about to walk in on them, he will climax, it’s going to happen and there’s nothing anybody can do about it. (Premature ejaculators should back-off or tone down stimulation before reaching PNR.)

Here’s the thing: Women don’t have PNR. Even when she’s on the verge of having an orgasm, you can easily frustrate her orgasm by suddenly changing the rhythm or focus of stimulation, for example. You have to build and stimulate a woman ALL THE WAY, plus the follow through.

Looks like women got the raw deal here, huh?

Not really. There’s something to balance this out – the REFRACTORY PERIOD. Guess what – only men have them too! This is the few minutes after orgasm when the penis begins limping, during which it’s impossible to reach orgasm.

Post climax, the Refractory Period sets in and no force in heaven or earth can make a man cum. A woman may give the best head, but it’s not going to happen, and there’s nothing you can do about it, Anna!

Women don’t have this Refractory Period. Whereas an orgasm returns men to pre-arousal levels, an ‘O’ brings Eve to pre-orgasmic levels. They simply return to blissful levels of the Plateau, capable of approaching orgasm again. That’s why they can hit a string of climaxes – also known as multiple orgasms!

After catching her breath, and about half a minute of extreme clitoral sensitivity, she can simply continue like nothing happened. If she so desires, she can jump off the cliff again and again like an Energizer bunny without any refractory bother. Only guys have the PNR and the RP.

ROUND 3 – Staying Power

For guys, an orgasm often signals the end. For many women, it’s really just the beginning – sort of a warm-up.

She may feel perfectly satisfied after one soulful blow, but she can definitely gun for more. While men find subsequent orgasms less satisfying and more difficult to build, women stack theirs – which means subsequent O’s are easier to build and can be stronger in intensity.

Ensuing blows are sweeter, deeper, more satisfying than the first one, some ladies even have problems when reaching the 4th or 5th because they don’t wish to stop anymore! They enter an “orgasmic cloud” where climaxes become blurred one from another and the whole experience blends into one long-lasting orgasm. It becomes an orgasmic overdrive and if not for sheer exhaustion, they wouldn’t retire.

It may take a girl some time to heat up, but she sure makes up for it later.

STAGE FOUR – The Resolution

After all that orgasmic hooplah, comes the Resolution – the period when genitals return to their unaroused state.

If men don’t gun for another climax after the Refractory Period, then the Resolution Stage automatically sets in. Since women have no refractory period after orgasm, they simply return to pre-orgasmic levels of the Plateau until they decide enough is enough.

6 Places To Never Overlook When Giving An Erotic Massage

By

Erotic massage can lead up to some great sex, but make sure you don’t miss any of THESE areas – or your erotic massage will flop before you ever have sex!

There are few things that feel better than a massage. It can be relaxing or invigorating, subtle or intimate, sensual or straightforward. Here are some unusual suggestions to share a massage with your partner that will prime her for the orgasm experience of her life.

As our skin is an organ, every little bit of it is covered in sensitive nerve endings and the same is true for your partner. Lest we not forget some of the more hidden away, less known or irregularly used areas begging to be touched, let’s discuss briefly where they are, and how to touch them to get your partner aroused and excited.

The Neck And Shoulders

There are few things better than a nice massage after a long day. Grab the massage oils and start rubbing her lightly, then increase your intensity as her muscles warm to your touch. Look for the cues that your partner is giving you, they’ll let you know if they want a harder or softer touch by the way they respond and move. Add some kisses up and down her spine, neck and shoulders, and you’ll add a romantic feel to the already relaxing benefits.

Ears

When kissing a woman’s neck and shoulders, throw in a little ear nibbling too. Gently lick inside the ear lobe but don’t go too crazy with your tongue. The key is finesse and a lightness of touch; you want her to shiver with pleasure, not recoil with wetness.

Hands And Fingers

A lot of people over look the hands and fingers but there are a lot of sensitive nerve endings in this part of the body. Massage each hand thoroughly with a bit of massage oil, taking special attention to rub each finger, as this feels very good. If you are feeling adventurous bring them up to your mouth and suck on each finger, or if she’s struggling to get in the mood, try massaging the soft flesh in between her index finger and thumb to magically melt away her headache or tension.

Feet

Massaging someone’s feet can be very intimate, depending on how you go about it. Maybe even grab a reflexology chart specifically made for lovers that you can attach to her feet such as the Sexy Love Sock – this way you know exactly where to rub to relax the corresponding body part. Just make sure to massage with enough pressure so that you don’t get her laughing and tensing up from being tickled.

Inside Of The Elbows/Back Of The Knees

These crooks aren’t touched very often, so why not give them a bit of attention too? Use the tips of your fingers to lightly scratch these areas, starting just before the bend and ending just after; it’s an easy way to give your partner goosebumps and in a way that few others will seek out and try.

The Face And Scalp

We’re not talking about the kinds of caresses that you give when you’re just about to kiss a woman. No, these are deeper strokes that relax a woman around her face and scalp. Try lying her down on her back, and putting your thumbs along the inner sides of her nose where it meets her eyebrows. Push lightly to see how much pressure she likes (it can hurt or throb at bit at first if she holds tension here) and then move your fingers just a hair out towards the edge of her eyebrows and repeat. Move along the entire eyebrow area in this manner. Some spots will be much more tender than others, so make sure she tells you how each one feels, and spend extra time anywhere it’s really sensitive.

Then, move behind her and fan your fingers over her hairline so that your thumbs are at the top of her head, your index fingers are almost together, and your pinkies are by her ears, then rub small, firm circles. Ever so slowly move your fingers as you rub towards the back of her head, and soon you’ll have a puddle of a woman at your feet. She’ll definitely be ready for sex after this!