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Why You Can’t Give Her Orgasms With Your Penis

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An orgasm is the icing on the cake for a girl, but many guys don’t get that far once intercourse starts. Here’s why it’s pretty much impossible to consistently give a woman an orgasm using just your penis.

There is a window of time during intercourse when practically only one thing is happening – the THRUSTING. Everything else, the kissing and caressing, virtually ceases. Often, a woman fades to the background as the man interacts solely with her vagina. It’s that point during sex when men appear to be off to their own worlds, expending all energy with genital-on-genital action.

This is easily the man’s favorite part; gladly skipping the foreplay for this – making a “repeating vaginal tourist” of his penis.

It rocks! But, is it a screaming hit for the girl too? Not necessarily.

It Takes Two To Tango

Remember: THERE IS ANOTHER PERSON INVOLVED IN SEX – and that person is a woman, someone incredibly different from you. Just because you’re teetering at Cloud 9 doesn’t mean she is also – as all the furious thrusting could very well do nothing for her!

The vagina itself is not as sensitive as many think. Although nerves that line the vaginal walls sense PRESSURE, bringing with it a pleasurable sensation of being “filled”, it’s just not the screaming ecstasy they make you believe in porn. It’s just not. Many believe that the friction between penis and vaginal walls is what gives Eve these screaming orgasms. But that’s not true!

Unless you chance on her G-spot, a great percentage of women (30%-60%) will never orgasm by penetration alone. Friction alone is not enough, you could pump her ‘til morning but she won’t orgasm from it.

PENETRATION MIGHT BE ONE OF THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAY OF GIVING YOU AN ORGASM but IT’S ALSO ONE OF THE MOST INEFFECTIVE WAYS OF GIVING HER ONE.

It’s the “your pleasure does not necessarily mean my pleasure” drift once again.

How Her Orgasm Is Different

While we don’t want to dive completely into female orgasms, realize this: Men and women need different types of motions to achieve climax. Penetration is YOUR way because the motions involved are similar to male masturbation – so it works for you. Hers is a bit different.

You want to give your girl an orgasm? Penetration is not the most effective way; instead, mimic what happens when she masturbates. Imagine how lesbian couples have fun. No penis there. (Gee, I wonder why.) Dildos are not even a hit. Still, they report high sexual satisfaction ratings.

Talk to bisexuals. They sleep with both teams so they’re in a position to compare. Ask them who’s better, ask them who brings the sizzlers. They’d tell you that the ones without a stick shift often wins the day.

Now, for a man sporting a huge tool, who believes it’s a gift for all womanity, this comes as a surprise. ‘How can that be?!’ – becomes the question.

Well, besides the fact that they know the bodies of fellow women better, which by the way is something we can never take away from them, the lesson here is this: THE PENIS IS NOT NECESSARY FOR HER ORGASM. Otherwise, why would women masturbate? A penis inside her pit could even prevent some from climax.

You don’t need big Jimmy to arouse or satisfy her. Heck, you don’t even need to take her clothes off, much less yours.

To focus on the penis as the source of her well-being is definitely looking at the wrong side of things. Do not look at something in YOUR body. Stop looking down there. Instead, look at HER body. Your penis gives YOU pleasure because it’s lined with nerves that ultimately connect to the pleasure centers of YOUR brain. What gives HER pleasure?

Dirty Talk Fiascoes To Avoid!

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Dirty talk can end up being a complete failure if you don’t steer clear of these warning signs! If you attempt to jump full throttle in to dirty talk, your partner could wonder where you suddenly came up with the idea and might even think that you’ve been having an affair or watching porn.

Be Honest With Your Partner From The Start

You will need to assure them from the get-go that this is something you want to try with them instead of just springing some hardcore phrases on them during the middle of a romp. A good deal of women are turned off by porn, so try not to emulate what you’ve seen during some of those movies. Lots of them have cheesy lines and actors that aren’t up for Academy Awards for a very good reason.

You could find that your better half finds dirty talk uncomfortable and off-putting. Some consider it to be raunchy and a put down to a person they love. Some heart to heart communication and a give and take attitude between two people who love each other should be able to put the uncomfortable one at ease. Be patient with the partner who has reservations and just use soft pillow talk from time to time to warm them to the idea.

Sometimes dirty talk can be more comical than erotic, depending on what is said and how it is said. It’s okay to laugh! But don’t give up – reread some of the suggestions from time to time if you are feeling like you haven’t quite got it yet.

Be Yourself When Using Dirty Talk

Women, please don’t try to be who you are not. Faking an orgasm and screaming like it’s the best sex you’ve ever had will only cause problems down the road. He’ll wonder why he can’t get you that worked up EVERY time when you get tired of pretending and you will eventually tire of faking it and long to really be satisfied. At that point, and rightly so, he’ll be frustrated and unsure of why he suddenly can’t put you into the throws he saw you ‘act’ your way through before.

When you’re using dirty talk, don’t tell your partner about things you honestly have NO intentions of doing (ie. Threesomes, group sex, farm animals, sex in public, midgets, bondage, etc.) You may find that it triggers some new fantasies or embeds some new images in his or her mind that he or she could continue to ask you to talk about and then want to act them out in real life.

Be aware that it can come across as very insincere. Telling your man, “your penis is so huge,” when in reality is only about 3 inches isn’t going to make him suddenly feel like a stud. Telling her that that you love her massive tits when she is more “grape” than “grapefruit” in size could backfire. Sure, indulge a little but don’t go completely overboard with your exaggeration. In fact, when your lover is overly conscious of his or her size, dirty talk can do amazing things to boost their confidence. Tell the guy with the tiny penis that he rubs your clitoris so perfectly or whisper to your wife that you love being able to put her whole breast in your mouth. Dirty talk gives you the avenue to banish their insecurities and make them eager for more hot sex with you.

Mix It Up

Dirty talk can also become redundant (just like missionary sex day after day after day). Make sure that you don’t use the same phrases, over and over, or trust me, it will have the exact opposite effect and your partner might end up thinking, “Okay, I’ve heard that so many times – please shut up already.”

7 Foreplay Tips That Will Bring Your Lover To The Edge

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Foreplay can often be more satisfying than the sex itself, because it’s the anticipation that is sweeter than relief. These tricks will drive your partner wild!

Slow, Deep Kissing

No, not the slobbery kind. Making out is a heavily underrated foreplay technique, because it is usually seen as what people do when they’re not sexually active. The truth is, deep and slow kissing is a huge turn on even when you know you’re going to have sex later! Keep your saliva in check, but don’t be afraid to slowly explore your partner’s entire mouth. Nibble their lips and kiss them softly on the mouth before engaging in tongue again. Enjoy it and convey to your partner that you are enjoying it and aren’t in any rush at all.

Rubbing Your Hands All Over Their Body

This may seem cliche, but most people don’t do this correctly during foreplay. Having your partner rub their hands all over your body can be extremely thrilling – but most of the time, the touch isn’t soft enough to really send chills down your spine. When you go to rub your hands all over their body, don’t use your entire palm. Instead, use only your fingertips and touch your partner only as hard as you might touch a laptop track pad. This soft touch is what will ignite the nerves in your partner’s skin!

Kissing Their Body

You’ll want to take your mouth along the trails that you made with your hands, but again, remember to do this softly. A nibble and a lick here and there is nice during foreplay, but try to use only your lips when you do this. The softness and warmth of your lips without wetness is extremely enticing. Don’t leave any part of their body uncovered by your mouth – go all the way down their legs and back up again, over their tummy and chest, and back up to their neck, chin and arms. You can even use this as a “body mapping” technique by paying attention to which spots they seems to enjoy the most.

Breath Play

When you’re kissing your partner’s entire body is a great time to engage in breath play. Breathe hot air against the area you just kissed, or lick the area and breathe cool air on it to send an icy shiver down your partner’s spine. Breath play is especially effective around the neck area and ear area, and when you’re kissing.

Oral Sex

Oral sex is an essential part of foreplay because it not only conveys a lot of emotion (which is necessary for women), it also creates immense pleasure for both girls and guys. Make sure that your foreplay routine never, ever skips over oral sex. Depending on what you and your partner want to do, you can use oral sex as a tease (don’t bring your partner to orgasm) or you can use it to give your partner an orgasm to prep them for multiples later (this is usually done with women and can make sex absolutely explosive!)

Teasing Penetration

Teasing penetration is an intense form of foreplay that is just as hot for the guy as it is the girl. After you’ve done oral sex, kissing and touching and you’re ready for sex – but not quite ready to give in to the anticipation yet – teasing penetration will keep the fires burning but satisfy your need to be closer to each other. During teasing penetration, the male partner will enter the female’s vagina, but only a little at a time. Short, light thrusts that only put the head in are incredible for both him and her, and either partner can control this. If she wants to tease him, she can hold his hips to prevent him from going in further and if he wants to tease her, he can simply pull out. This form of teasing will almost always end in sex because at some point, the need and desire overwhelms both the man and woman!

Backing Off From Orgasm

If you haven’t completely lost all your senses yet in a cloud of bliss and passion from all the foreplay, you may still want to prolong the actual finale. Tease your partner by reducing the amount of stimulation (whatever it is at this point) when you feel they are close to orgasm – you will also want to do this when you feel like you’re getting close to orgasm. Resume kissing or teasing, until you’re both cooled off enough to continue without reaching orgasm immediately. This time frame will get more narrow as you continue – eventually when you resume sexual activity you’ll blow immediately, or you’ll just get to the point where you’re completely powerless to stop it.

Oral Sex: Why The Ladies Love It

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Oral sex isn’t just something guys love – women crave it too! Here’s why chicks dig oral sex and how YOU can satisfy their needs!

It is a well known fact that oral sex is extremely pleasurable for a man. The irrefutable evidence permeates our society from sexual innuendos in commercials to adult films and pornography. It is true that a man will not let a woman who gives great fellatio go far and for many men, oral sex is the cornerstone of a sexual relationship. Unfortunately, oral sex for women (called cunnilingus) doesn’t get quite as much publicity as fellatio does, in spite of the fact that it is more pleasurable for a woman to receive oral sex than it is for a man.

It’s Actually More Pleasurable For A Girl

Come again? Yes, you heard right. The amount of pleasure experienced by a woman when receiving oral sex is much greater than the pleasure experienced by a man receiving oral sex. How is this possible? The surface area of a man’s penis greatly exceeds the surface area of the clitoris; therefore oral sex for a man must feel better. Well, not exactly. Packed into that tiny little clitoris in a woman’s vulva is a whopping eight thousand nerve endings! We guarantee that isn’t something you learned in Sex Ed! Yes, the clitoris has almost two times the amount of nerve endings than a penis does and is the most sensitive part of the human body (both male and female). If the clitoris is such a big deal, how come we haven’t heard much about it until now?

This is where a little bit of psychology comes into play. It is a woman’s nature to give and give without ever receiving. It is unlikely that she will ever ask or tell you that she would like to experience cunnilingus – women just aren’t wired that way. She may give clues like freshening up down south or making suggestive comments, but since men take such a direct approach to everything, it is quite possible that he will miss these clues entirely.

Oral Sex Will Give Women Better Orgasms Too

Rest assured, however, that nearly all women love to be gone down on, for both physical and emotional reasons. The physical, of course, is obvious – by directly stimulation her clitoris with a hot, wet mouth, she will most likely experience more powerful, intense and longer lasting orgasms than with intercourse alone. Emotionally, during cunnilingus the woman is the center of attention – nothing matters more at that moment than her pleasure. Many women today balance both careers and a family and in between her screaming boss and putting dinner on the table, there isn’t much time left for her. For a woman, cunnilingus is like a mini-vacation where she can finally forget her daily routine and nagging to-do list while her body releases the pent up tension from the day.

The Proof

A study involving ninety-eight married women as described in Sex: A Man’s Guide, ranked cunnilingus or oral sex as the most enjoyable and gratifying sexual act – eighty-two percent of these married women feel that receiving cunnilingus outranks any other sexual act! Only sixty-eight percent of the women felt that intercourse was very pleasurable and believe it or not, these women experienced an orgasm only twenty-five percent of the time! That means that out of every four times these women engaged in a sexual act, only once did they reach orgasm! During oral sex, however, these same women reached orgasm a whopping eighty-one percent of the time. There’s solid proof that cunnilingus is the most surefire way to give a woman an orgasm. In a similar study by Kinsey and Masters and Johnson, only 7.7 percent of women did not reach an orgasm if their husbands spent more than twenty-one minutes engaging in foreplay and oral sex.

Okay, so we’ve made our point. Cunnilingus is the ultimate form of sex for a woman – hands down! You can go down on your partner before you enter her, or you can surprise her and make cunnilingus the main event for an evening. Either way you choose to do it, know that you will ultimately strengthen your relationship and get closer to your partner than you ever were before.

Hands Free Orgasm – Can Women Masturbate Without Touching Themselves?

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An orgasm usually happens when a woman stimulates her clitoris or g-spot – or her partner does. It’s assumed that a woman must be stimulated to reach orgasm, but everyone says that a girl’s brain is an instrumental part in getting to climax – so can a woman reach orgasm without ever touching herself at all?

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The Brain Plays A Huge Role In Arousal For Girls

You may have heard that a girl’s brain is important when it comes to sex, but you probably really have no idea just how important this organ is – even more so than any other part of her body! You might think that her clitoris is more important, or her breasts are, but that is far from the truth – her clitoris won’t even respond if her mind isn’t already engaged! Also, if a woman is thinking about other things during sex or masturbation, is stressed out or worried, it is going to be extremely difficult for her to have an orgasm. For a woman to respond really well to sex, she’s got to be mentally engaged before she ever becomes physically engaged. Which means you need to expand your definition of foreplay beyond just touching – you have to start by engaging her MIND.

It Is Possible For The Brain To Produce An Orgasm Alone

If a girl’s mind is focused on things other than sex, she’s not going to have an orgasm. That much we know. In theory, is it possible that if a girl’s mind is focused only on sex and reaching orgasm, that she will? Yes, in theory it is possible. The brain’s connection to arousal in a woman is a very, very powerful thing! There are a couple of different ways this can happen, including spontaneous orgasms (whether medicine induced or not) and actually willing yourself to have an orgasm by only stimulating your brain.

Spontaneous Orgasm

You might be wondering if this is a bit like spontaneous combustion and in a way, it is. A spontaneous orgasm happens just like that – spontaneously. It can happen out of nowhere all of a sudden, or it can also happen when a woman has been thinking about sex so much and is so turned on that the slightest brush of her clothing or pressure in the right spot will make her climax.

Anti-Depressants And Spontaneous Orgasms

Many medical professionals believe that there is a link between taking anti-depressant medication and having spontaneous orgasms, however, there is no real data out there to suggest this, simply because most women who experience spontaneous orgasms do so in public – at work, on the bus, at the soccer game – and try their best to hide it. Some of the medications that include this side effect are Paxil, Prozac, Celexa, and Wellbutrin. Discuss this possible side effect with your doctor before going on any kind of anti-depressant medication.

Can You Teach Yourself To Have An Orgasm Without Touching Yourself?

Yes! You can actually teach yourself just about anything if you really put your mind to it – and there again is proof of how much power the mind has over the body. Here’s how to do it:

  • Start with normal masturbation. Use your hand, sex toys, or whatever you normally do to masturbate and bring yourself to orgasm.
  • However, this is where you’ll want to start to bring your mind into it more.
  • As you experience each pleasurable sensation, focus on how it feels and how you feel when it happens.
  • Begin contracting your vaginal muscles.
  • Gradually back off from the toy, while focusing on what you’re thinking and how you’re feeling.

With practice, you’ll be surprised at what you can do! Your mind is incredibly powerful – with practice, you can actually will your body to reach climax with just your mind!

Hands Free Masturbation

While many women will experience a completely hands free orgasm, many won’t and having an orgasm without directly touching yourself can be as pleasurable. Try new masturbation techniques that don’t involve your hands. The Sybian is a popular women’s sex toy and it allows the woman to “ride” the dildo, with or without vibration.

Hands free clitoral vibrators are also a good choice to help teach your body to have an orgasm without direct stimulation from your hands. They are simply placed over the clitoris and held in place with straps, and are usually operated by remote control. These can be a great way to train yourself to experience “hands free orgasms” and can help you bridge to stimulation free orgasms.