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How To Use The 5 Senses During Sex

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Sex should involve the whole body for a truly amazing experience. Men are visual creatures, and that is how they express themselves sexually. They like to look at boobs. They like to watch porn. However, women are multisensory. They experience sex with all of their senses. While a great set of abs does entice her visually, so does the sound of a man’s voice or the warmth of his touch.

When she is attracted to him, his scent is stronger than other men’s scents. While men may not be inherently moved to incorporate a woman’s fragrance or the cadence of her speech into his sexual nature, it doesn’t mean he can’t consciously make the decision to do so. Here’s a quick review of the five senses, and how erotic each can be.

Sight

You already know that men are visually stimulated. The respond best when they can actually look at what is going on, rather than just feel it with their bodies. That’s part of why porn is so popular! Men are already experts in getting turned on by what they can see, but you can take it even further. Really scan your lover’s body with your eyes. See how her body is different from other women’s.

Maybe she has strong runner’s legs or perfectly olive skin. Notice the things that make her special unique, and compliment them. Tell her how much you love her wildly curly hair or the curve of her stomach. You will see her in a new light once you’ve really taken her in.

Taste

Taste is definitely a component of good sex, but a lot of the time, the taste of your partner’s salty skin isn’t always erotic. So you can have a lot of fun playing with taste and incorporating new ones into our sex routine. Try giving each other sensual massages with flavored oils, and then lick it off one another’s bodies. Blindfold her, and then feed her passion fruits or chocolate mousse.

Have a sensual dinner before sex and really pay attention to the flavors and textures of the foods. Then, have dessert off her sexy body. Drizzle chocolate sauce and whipped cream all over her and have fun licking it all up. You can also buy a variety pack of flavored lip balms, and then guess the flavor every time you kiss her hello. Whatever it is, have fun with it.

Smell

There’s a reason that certain scents seem sexy to you, or turn you on. Your sense of smell can be heightened during times of extreme arousal. Maximize the power of aromatherapy by filling the room with warm, relaxing scents.  Musky vanilla, sandalwood or lavender scents all help relax the mind and body, and makes a woman feel more sensual.

To engage your sense of smell, breathe in the smell of her skin when she’s under you. Once you know her smell, it will get you going every time you catch a whiff.

Sound

The sounds of sex are probably one of the best things about it. There’s nothing like hearing how much you’re pleasing your partner or listening to the sound of intercourse. Dirty talk is a great way to engage you and your partner’s ears when getting it on.

Whether you’re telling over the phone what you’re going to do to her when you get home, or whispering sweet nothings in her ear, you can heighten the anticipation with verbal stimulation. Also, when you’re pleasuring her or railing her, listen to her moans and hear her reaction. Then you can be certain you’re doing it right.

Touch

This is the most sexually satisfying of all the senses. What you feel with sex is what governs what you do and what you think when you’re getting busy with your lover. Play with touch by running your hands all over each other’s bodies. Feel the warmth of your lover’s skin. Sex games that maximize touch with your partner are also a great way to enhance your sex life.

Play a game where you touch her each part of her body from head to toe, but never lose contact. Then enjoy the intense pleasure when you’ve felt her with all your senses. You can also use this sense when “feeling” your orgasms. When you’re in the throes of orgasm, let the experience completely overtake you. Get lost in all the different sensations that you’re feeling, and let your partner do the same!

How To Get A Girl To Kiss You

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Kiss a girl out of nowhere, and she’ll probably push you away. You want to flirt with her, get in her space and create that amazing sexual tension. Your best plan of action is to get HER to kiss YOU! Here’s how.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpAtjwxC2FY&feature=relmfu[/youtube]

Things To Consider Before The Kiss

Many guys fail to plan for a kiss, either because they know they’re too nervous to initiate the kiss, or they just don’t think the girl will want to kiss them. Either way, these guys end up getting stuck right before the kiss worrying about their breath because they just ate hot wings and didn’t bring mints, or because their lips are chapped and aren’t soft enough for a good kiss. Don’t be one of those guys – make sure you are prepared for a kiss before you actually get one by assuming you will get one!

Good Dental Hygiene

This one may seem like a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised at just how many guys think they can get away without brushing their teeth, using floss and mouthwash or not using gum or mints after they’ve eaten something pungent like onions or garlic. Making sure that your mouth is fresh and clean at all times is the first thing you should do to prepare for kiss. Heck, bring a toothbrush with you if you have to!

Smell Good

Women are attracted to scent. Make sure you carry mints or breath freshener with you, and also wear deodorant that works. Make sure you also chose a cologne that isn’t too overpowering but that also compliments your natural pheromones. If you need help with that, get a friend that is a girl to go cologne shopping with you!

Have A Confident, Masculine Energy About You

Women are attracted to confidence as well. If you act like a wimpy guy who needs her “permission” before going any farther, she’s not going to look twice at you. Convey an energy of confidence and masculinity. Don’t ask if you can buy her a drink – wait until she’s nearly finished with hers and order another for her.

Get In Her Space

A girl probably isn’t going to go out of her way to kiss you. So get in her space – make sure she knows you’re there. Make eye contact with her and touch her lightly on the arm. Flirt with her and get her laughing and interested in what you’re saying. Make sure you ignite that emotional spark she needs to want to get closer to you.

Try scooting your chair a little closer to her or brushing past her on your way to the bar or restroom. See how she reacts to you getting in her space. If she seems to welcome it, that’s your cue to take it a little farther.

Be A Little Touchy-Feely

No, you don’t need to feel your date up. But you do want to get a little closer to her and start touching her when she seems like she’s ready for it. Touch her hair or stroke her cheek gently. Place your hand on her thigh as she’s speaking to you or telling you a joke or story. Hold hands with her – women love hand holding!

Get her to notice your mouth and start thinking about kissing you by licking your lips. Don’t bite your lips if you’re a guy – that’s generally going to make you look a little foolish! Girls can get away with it, but guys? No way. Drink your drink slowly, or through a straw. Whatever you can do to get your date to start noticing your mouth is a great way to get her started thinking about kissing you.

Don’t Be Afraid To Make The First Move

This goes back to having that strong, confident, masculine energy about you. Don’t appear too weak or wimpy by not being able or willing to make the first move. Whether you actually make the first move or not is irrelevant – she will sense that you’re into her and will make a move on her as soon as you get a clear window. She may very well beat you to it!

Go In Strong And Smooth

If you do end up making the first move, don’t sweat it. Be confident about it. Go in smoothly, and don’t make any sudden moves. You don’t want to bump heads or end up kissing her nose, do you? Find out if she wants to take it to the next level by leaning in part of the way and putting yourself in her space, and waiting for her to meet you halfway. Does she lean in for the kiss too, or does she pull away?

If It Doesn’t Happen The Right Way

Sometimes, a first kiss doesn’t go down the way you wanted it to, no matter how much you prepared and planned for it. If this happens to you, relax! Take a few steps back. Keep flirting with her and having fun together, and don’t let the moment get too awkward. It just may not have been the right time or place, or she just might not have felt like it!

Q&A: Anal Sex – Will Lotion Work Instead Of Lube?

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Anal sex requires lube of some kind –  the anus doesn’t lubricate itself like a vagina does, so whether you’re having anal intercourse or masturbating with an anal sex toy, you have to use lubricant. But if you run out of it, can you use lotion instead?

Question: I am a guy and I often use Astroglide lubricant on my anal sex toy. However when I run out of Astroglide, I’m too lazy to go right to the store to buy more and instead use hand lotion (like Curel). Is this bad for my body?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edQpph-OvwU[/youtube]

What Isn’t Lube

While there are some things out there that aren’t designed for use during sex but will work in a pinch, they’re just not really lube and they don’t do a good job. While you may think that lotion or oil will be slick enough for sex or masturbation with sex toys, they almost never are. Here are a few things that aren’t a good lubricant:

Spit

Spit will work if you don’t have anything else on hand, but it dries out quickly. You often need copious amounts of saliva to make sex feel good at all. If you or your partner have a dry mouth, it may be difficult for you to produce enough saliva to lubricate yourself thoroughly.

Hand Lotion

This is very thick and only gets thicker and stickier as you use it. The limited amount of water in it evaporates very quickly, so you’re left with a thick, sticky mess. Also, fragrances and chemicals can be very irritating to the delicate tissues of both the penis and the vagina. It absorbs quickly, so you’re going to have to reapply frequently.

Baby Oil, Petroleum Based Products

Anything that is oil or is made with oil will break down a condom and also ruin any sex toys you have that are made from or with latex.

Why Lube Is So Important For Vaginal Intercourse

Sex is better when it’s wetter – there’s no doubt about that. If you can get a woman really, really wet, so much the better. If you want to make sure your partner is lubricated enough naturally, make sure you spend lots of time on foreplay. Don’t just rush to intercourse thinking it will feel as good for her as it will for you. Never underestimate the power of oral sex to help get a woman really wet before penetration!

However, vaginas don’t always lubricate themselves enough to make intercourse comfortable, especially if it lasts a while. Anal sex requires significantly more lubricant than traditional intercourse, since the anus does not produce any natural lubrication of its own.

Sex is not only more comfortable with lube, when you have more than enough of it, a woman can reach orgasm faster and easier than if things are too dry and there is too much friction.

Why It’s So Important For Anal Sex

Using lubrication during anal sex is an absolute necessity. Using enough lube during anal sex reduces the risk of the delicate anal tissues tearing. Lotion, spit or oils definitely won’t work for anal sex, and forgetting to use lubricant at all will either make anal sex impossible or cause more damage than you bargained for. Using it for anal sex will also help reduce the risk of extreme pain and discomfort, hemorrhoids, and irritation afterwards.

It’s really not worth it to try anal sex without lubricant or without the proper kind – you can end up being in immense pain (or causing your partner immense pain) and in worst case scenarios, you’ll have to seek professional medical attention. You’ll probably find that anal sex is downright impossible without at least some kind of lubricant.

What Is It Made Out Of?

Lubricant contains several ingredients, and can be both organic and non-organic – there are several different brands and formulas available on the market. It’s formulated to mimic natural body fluids as best as possible, last as long as possible and feel great during sexual intercourse. All formulas of lubricant are compatible with both vaginal intercourse and anal sex, and water based lube is also safe with condoms and all sex toys.

Most brands are inexpensive and can be purchased at your local pharmacy, drug store or supermarket. You can also shop for lubricant online and there are some really great deals out there, especially when you buy the larger bottles. For masturbation, sex and anal sex, you really want to keep enough of your favorite lubricant in stock all the time! Buy more before you run out!

Should You Adopt A Pet With Your Partner?

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A relationship through many phases. What happens when you want to build a family with this person but aren’t ready for a kid? Should you get a pet together?

Whether you’re both experienced pet owners, or this is the first time either of you have ever had an animal, getting one together is a big decision. Co-owning an animal with your S.O. should never be treated as a whim. This is a long term commitment that will require both of you to put in time and effort every single day.

Make Sure Your Relationship Is Stable First

It will also require a monetary commitment from both of you. That’s why it’s important to be certain that you’re both in your relationship for the long run before you get an animal together. Sure a dog or a cat isn’t a baby, but it is a living creature that will be dependent upon both of you. That means you both need to be on the same page before you head off to your local animal shelter or breeder.

If you are married or have been living together for several years, you can feel more comfortable about taking this step. Not only are you in a serious relationship that will likely last for many more years to come, but you’ve also been together long enough to know whether or not your S.O. is responsible. This means you won’t have to worry about how much more difficult it will be to end your relationship with a shared animal in the mix.

It also means that you’ll know they will be more likely to hold up their end of the animal-related duties or not. If you’ve only been together for a little while and aren’t really sure if this person is the one for you, hold off on getting one together. Having to fight over who gets the animal when you’ve broken up will just make things that much worse, and shared custody will be a pain for all involved—especially for the dog or cat.

Have A Talk On What You Want

Once you’ve decided that your’re in a serious, long-term relationship, sit down and talk to your S.O. about what you’re looking for in a pet. If neither of you has ever owned an animal before, you might want to do some research online or check out books about animal ownership. This will help you get an idea of the level of commitment each kind of animal requires.

For instance, dogs require a little more work than cats do. You have to walk them regularly, and potty training a puppy is more difficult than showing a kitten where its litter box is. If you both work long hours and neither of you can get home to walk a dog at lunch time, a cat might be a better fit for you. If you work far away from your home or apartment, but your S.O. works ten minutes away and always gets a lunch break, you probably could have a dog. Just make sure that your mate is okay with always being the one who has to handle midday walks.

Divide The Responsibilities

Speaking of midday walks and other responsibilities, you and your mate need to figure out a way to divvy up the work and cost associated with having an animal. The time to do so is prior to picking up your new four-legged family member. If you can’t decide who will be responsible for feeding times, vet trips, etc. without an argument, at least one of you isn’t ready yet.
You may also find that your S.O. is trying to pawn more of the work off onto you, which could indicate that he or she doesn’t really have their heart in it. It’s also really important to discuss the costs involved.

Things To Plan

Buying from a breeder will be more expensive than adopting from a shelter, but either way there will be costs involved. Then you’ll have to pay for things like food, toys, collars and leashes, cat litter or dog baggies, and veterinarian appointments. If you don’t have a joint bank account, you need to plan in advance how you’ll divide up the payments.

The last thing you want is to take your sick dog to the vet and discover that you owe hundreds of dollars because your S.O. can’t—or won’t—pay for their half. You may want to open a joint bank account dedicated specifically to those costs, even if all of your other accounts are separate.

Once you’ve talked everything through, make sure that you go together to pick out your animal. Springing a surprise puppy or kitten on your mate might seem romantic, but it’s really not a good idea. It’s important to make sure that you both meet any possible future pets before you decide on one. You’re caring for it together, so you should make sure you both feel good about the animal you end up with.

That may also mean making compromises. You might want a big dog to go running with while your S.O. might want a small lap dog. Try to find something in between that will be athletic enough to play, but small enough to hang out in your house. Once everyone’s had their say and compromises have been reached, you’ll be much more likely to get one that you’re both absolutely wild about.

Fingers vs. Sex Toys – Which Is Better?

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Female masturbation can be done with almost anything – hands, sex toys or even a shower head. All women are different and prefer their own style of masturbation – no two women will ever do it exactly the same. But which is better – a vibrator or your hands?

Pros Of Fingering

While some women just enjoy the buzz that a good vibrator can give them, there are certain things that fingers can do that sex toys can’t. While sex toys offer stronger, faster and harder orgasms than  hands can give you in most cases, there are definitely some benefits to “clicking your own mouse” the old fashioned way.

They’re Readily Available Whenever You Want Them

Your hands are attached to you, so if you want to masturbate in the bathroom on a plane or even in your car while stuck in traffic, you can without having to bring any extra tools with you.

Easy To Clean

No special cleansers required here – all it takes to get your hands clean before and after female masturbation is to wash them with good old old fashioned soap and water. In fact, if you’re doing it in the bathroom, you can wash your hands as you come out with no one being the wiser! If you’re not in a place where washing your hands is an option, a good dollop of hand sanitizer will do in a pinch.

Easier To Hide What You’re Doing If You Get Caught Masturbating

If you get caught going for the gold with a huge dildo, it’s going to be pretty difficult to try to hide what you’re doing or explain yourself – unless you want to just come out there and admit you’ve been getting it on with yourself. If you’re fingering yourself and you get caught, it is much, much easier to hide it or pretend that you weren’t masturbating. Not like getting caught with a sex toy!

A Man Is Less Intimidated By Fingers If He’s Intimidated By Sex Toys

If you’re with a guy who has a vendetta against sex toys (and some of them do), he’s going to be less intimidated if he knows you masturbate with your hands instead of a vibrator. While there’s nothing wrong with masturbating either way, some men just feel like they can’t compete with something that runs off of batteries.

Cons Of Using Your Fingers

While there are many benefits to using your hands during female masturbation, there are definitely some cons as well. Ignoring the downfalls of using your hands to get yourself off boils down to the personal preference of each woman.

They May Be Too Short To Reach Your G-Spot

If you have very short arms, hands or fingers, they may not reach your g-spot. While this is fine for women who enjoy fingering their clitoris during female masturbation, women who really enjoy intense g-spot orgasms are going to be disappointed.

It May Take Longer To Reach Orgasm

Vibrators allow women to achieve orgasms faster than ever before, and often the climax is much more intense. Not so with fingers – while you can reach orgasm and it can be just as good, it may take a lot longer to push yourself over the edge. This is especially true if you’re used to masturbating with a vibrator and switch to doing it with your hands.

It May Be Very Uncomfortable To Bend Your Arm And Wrist Enough To Reach Your G-Spot

The angle required to reach the g-spot properly is intense – reaching your own hand down there and angling your fingers in the right way may be uncomfortable or painful. You may be able to do it for a short period of time, but coupled with the movement of your fingers to stimulate your g-spot, you may not be able to keep it up for very long.

Bacteria From Under Your Nails Can Cause Infections

If you’re not good about washing your hands before you masturbate, bacteria under your nails can be introduced into your vagina and cause bacterial or yeast infections. This is why proper hygiene is so important!

Long Nails Can Scratch And Cut

Many women enjoy having long nails or wear acrylic nails. If you do, your long nails can scratch or cut the inside of your vagina. Ouch! If you prefer to masturbate with your hands, try to keep your nails trimmed or file the edges so they are not sharp.

Pros Of Using Sex Toys For Female Masturbation

While many of the benefits of using sex toys during female masturbation are obvious – vibrations, hello? – there are also a number of other benefits of choosing a toy instead of your hands when getting busy by yourself.

Many Sex Toys Are Made Specifically For G-Spot Stimulation

While fingering will do the job most of the time, many sex toys are created specifically for g-spot stimulation. This means that they’re much better at reaching the right spot than you are, and can often provide stronger and faster stimulation.

Some Of Them Vibrate

Sex toys can vibrate. Enough said!

Sex Toys Don’t Get Cramped Up During Use

While ignoring pain or discomfort in your hands is easier to do when you’re almost there, you don’t have to do that with a sex toy. They never get tired or cramped up during use – if your hands get cramped up right before you reach orgasm and you’re unable to finish, it’s all over and you’re going to be an unhappy camper for the rest of the day!

They Come In Different Sizes, Shapes And Materials

Women like different things during female masturbation, and there are as many different kinds of sex toys out there as there are women (almost). They come in a variety of different sizes and shapes, so each woman can find the one she likes best and is most comfortable with.

Most Sex Toys Will Provide More Than One Kind Of Stimulation At A Time

Yes, you can stimulate your clitoris and your g-spot at the same time with your hands, but do you have a third appendage for your anus as well? Also, can you vibrate your clitoris, rub your g-spot, stimulate your anus and just inside your vaginal canal with rotating beads all at the same time? Nope! But a sex toy can. Sex toys are an excellent way to achieve a blended orgasm!

Cons Of Sex Toys

While a vibrator may be the holy grail of female masturbation for many women, believe it or not there are some downfalls to using a sex toy when you’re pleasuring yourself.

They’re More Conspicuous And Harder To Hide

If you get caught fingering yourself, it’s super easy to yank your hands out of your pants and pretend you really weren’t doing anything at all – and you may very well get away with it. Getting caught with a sex toy? Not so much. They’re harder to hide (especially if yours is a vibrating rabbit or a large dildo) and can be very loud if they vibrate. Many of them can’t be taken with you places and can’t be explained away if you get caught using them.

If you want a vibrator that is quiet and easy to tuck away, try smaller, portable ones that don’t require batteries. These tend to be quieter and can easily be stashed in your pocket or purse.

Toys Do Wear Out

Eventually, even your most loved sex toy will bite the dust. It may last you years if it’s produced by a trusted manufacturer and made with quality materials, but eventually, you’ll have to say goodbye to it. Your hands are with you forever.

Many Need Batteries Replaced Or Recharging

Sex toys that require batteries or recharging can be inconvenient. Rechargeable vibrators are less inconvenient than battery operated ones (it’s a pain to continually have to buy batteries every time you’re at the store), but if you’ve ever had a vibrator die on you when you’re thisclose to climax, you may swear by your hands from then on.

Some Of Them Aren’t As Easy To Clean

Some sex toys have lots of crevices and crannies that can get bodily fluids stuck in them – and require intense cleaning if you don’t want your toy to get funky. In some cases, they require special cleaners and can’t be cleaned with traditional soap and water. Other toys aren’t waterproof, so they can’t be wiped down. Nothing can be cleaner than your hands after a good old fashioned wash!