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Conflict Resolution: How To Apologize Gracefully

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No matter how fantastic your relationship is, there are going to be times when you screw up. We’re only human and we all make mistakes. Whether you say something particularly mean in the heat of an argument, or do something far more serious, you’re going to have to apologize every now and again. As such, it’s pretty important to know how to apologize the right way.

Sometimes a simple “sorry” just doesn’t cut it. In fact, if you do a poor job of apologizing, you may find yourself getting into a whole new argument with your S.O. and you’ll never reach a conflict resolution. A truly good, genuine apology, however, can be like a well-executed set of stitches. Not only does it close the wound you’ve opened up, but it can minimize the chance of future emotional scarring.

Mean What You Say

Though it may seem obvious, one of the most important ways to apologize properly is to really mean it. If your apology is cast off carelessly just to end the fight at hand, it won’t be believable. An insincere apology will only rile your mate up, not satisfy their need for appeasement. Instead of hastily saying you’re sorry, hear your partner’s argument all the way through.

Then pause to consider what you’ve done wrong, and genuinely apologize for it. It can be hard to acknowledge your own wrong-doing, but if you really love your partner, you need to admit that you did something wrong and are really sorry about it. If you’re not really sorry, then you need to call a time out on the argument so you can think more by yourself.

Choose Your Words Carefully

When you actually go about apologizing, you really need to be careful with your word choice. Saying things like “I’m sorry you’re so angry” or “I’m sorry that you don’t approve of what I did” isn’t really apologizing and won’t do anything for actual conflict resolution. That’s just turning things around on your partner under the guise that you’re sorry. You need to actually take responsibility for your actions when you apologize (i.e. “I’m sorry that I forgot to mail our rent check this month”.)

You also need to be careful with your tone. Don’t yell your apology angrily, and don’t let sarcasm creep into your voice. Take a good, deep breath to calm yourself down before you start speaking. If your S.O. starts to interrupt you as you’re talking, just let them. After they’ve said their piece, start your apology again. If you keep your cool, even if your partner can’t, your apology will feel more genuine.

See Your Partner’s Point Of View

To further improve upon your apology, make sure to acknowledge that you understand where your partner is coming from. Simply stating that you get why they’re mad shows a level of empathy and regret that they’ll appreciate. If you really want to win them over, say that you want to discuss how to prevent a situation like this from happening again.

Ask for their advice and input. Inviting them to help figure out the best conflict resolution reminds them that you really do value their opinion and their role in your life. Part of apologizing is not only showing that you are truly sorry for what you’ve done, but also showing that you want to keep from repeating your mistakes in the future. A hug and a kiss once you’ve both calmed down never hurts, either!

What To Do When He Lasts TOO Long In Bed

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Sex is fun, but does it stop being exciting when your partner lasts forever and can’t reach orgasm quickly? After going at it for awhile, it a woman can become unaroused and lose her lubrication, making it uncomfortable to continue with penetration. Here’s how to deal with someone that lasts too long.

Question: Me and my girlfriend really enjoy each other during sex, but thing is that I last around 30 or 45 minutes. I know that’s great, but sometimes she gets tired. She orgasms great but after a while she gets tired and sometimes I feel that I am pushing her to finish me off. Sometimes I think that after she gets done, she is not enjoying it – even though she insists on finishing me. We have a great time, but should I stop? What can I do?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1jd4HgqvmY[/youtube]

An Orgasm Doesn’t Have To Happen During Intercourse

A lot of people get stuck on the notion that you have to have an orgasm during intercourse for sex to be good. This couldn’t be farther from the truth! While reaching climax during sex with your partner is definitely a great way to enjoy it and bond with your significant other, you can orgasm in other ways and still have just as much fun.

For example, if you always have an orgasm during oral sex but don’t have one during intercourse, have your lover give you a blowjob after sex. This way, she gets hers and afterwards, you get yours too. Even though you didn’t both have an orgasm during penetration, you both still leave sexually satisfied.

Try Using A Good Lubricant

Using a good, water based lube that lasts a long time is essential if you can’t reach orgasm quickly through penetration. There’s no reason to stop if your partner is comfortable, and keeping her moist down there will make sure that she doesn’t start to chafe. You want to reapply lube often – you really can’t overuse the stuff. Adequate lubrication will keep intercourse from becoming uncomfortable or painful, so unless she’s tired, she’ll be happy to keep going so you can get yours too.

Try A Sensitizing Lube

There are all kinds of lube out there, and many of them can help you have a faster, harder and more pleasurable climax. Sensitizing lubes are made with ingredients that stimulate blood flow to the penis (or the vagina in a woman’s case), allowing a person to feel each touch in amazing detail. It’s like HDTV for your penis!

Is Your Foreplay Missing?

It’s hard to switch your brain and body from thinking about work or things on your to-do list to thinking about sex. Some guys don’t have any problem with this because they think about sex most of the time, but other guys may take longer to get into the groove of things. This might be responsible for taking a long time to reach climax. In this case, all that may be needed is a little foreplay to get yourself really ramped up before sex with your partner. If you’re already aroused before you start, it won’t have as far to go to reach orgasm.

Vidoes Or Magazines

Guys are visual, so sometimes getting it on with the lights off just doesn’t do it for them. Take your natural need for visual stimulation during sex into account when you try to figure out the cause of your inability to orgasm quickly. Are you getting it with your partner?

Try turning the lights on during sex so you can see what’s going on – or watch a porn flick or look at an erotic magazine with your lover. Be creative and find ways to stimulate yourself visually during sex. You’ll most likely find that you’re able to have an orgasm more quickly if your eyeballs are involved too.

Bring In The Sex Toys

If a woman has trouble reaching orgasm, she might try using sex toys with her partner to help her have a climax. Why not do the same for a man? There are lots of sex toys for boys out there, from cock rings to masturbation sleeves and more. Remember that you and your lover don’t have to orgasm together during intercourse – be openminded to try different ways of pleasuring each other. For example, have your partner use a lubed up masturbation sleeve on you while you watch a naughty video – even better if she’s filmed one of herself beforehand.

Communicate With Your Partner

If a woman can’t get her man off during sex, she’s probably going to take it personally. Let her know that there’s nothing wrong with what she’s doing and that she doesn’t have to finish you if she’s not up for it. Tell your lover that you can take matters into your own hands if you need to, and you can even make her a part of it by inviting her to watch or participate in mutual masturbation.

How Your Penis Is Ruining Your Sex Life

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Your penis, unfortunately, is not the center of a woman’s attention. In fact, most women aren’t going to be as enamored with your penis as you are. So if you want to be with someone who just looooves wieners, be gay.

If that doesn’t sound like an appealing option for you, then learn to tame your manhood. I know, when you’re in arousing situations, it’s screaming in your ear to get it some attention, but if you don’t allow good sense to overrule, you may end up turning her off. Let me give you a few scenarios where you should tune out Mr. Happy.

Scene I:

She wraps her arms around your neck, giving you a long, sensuous kiss.

What your penis tells you: Grab boobies! Grab booty! Get your hands on whatever you can!

What you should do: Return the kiss. Appreciate what you can get out of that act alone – feel the warmth of her lips and the taste of her breath. Keep your hands occupied by stroking her back or hair. This may encourage her arousal. If it doesn’t, try giving her lips a little lick. Never should you resort to mauling to express your attraction. It feels disrespectful to her, and her defenses immediately go up.

Scene II:

You’re on the couch watching a movie, and you start making out.

What your penis tells you: Put her hand down your pants! Push her face into your lap!

What you should do: If you’re making out for a bit, this time when it’s okay to head for second base. Just don’t grab! Ease your way up there. The nipples tend to be quite sensitive, so if you’re gentle with them it can be a great source of arousal for her. Then maybe you can pause the movie and politely suggest retiring to the bedroom for a bit.

Scene III:

The clothes are off, and sex is definitely going to happen.

What your penis tells you: Stick it in! Stick it in! Stick it in NOW!

What you should do: Take deep breaths. Concentrating on your breath will help occupy your mind, and the steady oxygen to your brain will have a calming effect. Once you’ve cleared the testosterone cloud, you can really enjoy the sex. Inhale her scent, and feel her skin. Become cognizant of the woman with you. It will only increase the pleasure of the experience. In the end, your penis will thank you.

 

 

How To Get Her To Make A Dirty Video For You

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Porn is great but homemade porn is better. However, it can be difficult to get your girlfriend or wife to agree to get naked on camera. It’s not impossible though – tons of women make XXX films for their guys – Want your girl to make a naughty film for your viewing pleasure? Check out these tips to convince your girl to do it.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QG9g8owDvgQ[/youtube]

Women Naturally Want To Make Their Man Happy

All women have the drive to please their man – it’s hardwired into their DNA. Instead of baking pies a la June Cleaver, you’d rather a racy movie starring your gorgeous lady. How do you tell her? Just tell her! Let her know that making a homemade porn with her (or videotaping her masturbating by herself) is something that you’d really like to do and it really turns you on. If she knows how much you want to see her on film, she’ll most likely be up for it if it will make you that happy.

It Doesn’t Have To Be Full On Porn

If your girlfriend or wife has never done anything sexy on camera before, they may feel a little shy or apprehensive about the whole idea. Don’t assume that for it to turn you on that it has to be full on porn – quite the opposite. Even just a soft core film with limited nudity, or even no nudity at all, can be enough to get you going. It’s also a great way to slowly introduce her to the idea so that later on, you can make a XXX film.

Have her do something sexy on film with her clothes on, such as giving you a blowjob in a low cut shirt. It’s sexy, reminds you of her and she doesn’t have to show anything of hers to the camera. She can also do an erotic dance while wearing a sexy dress or some of her favorite lingerie. Light some candles and turn out the lights – the soft lighting will make her feel more comfortable and won’t transfer as many of her imperfections onto film.

Tell Her You’d Rather Masturbate To Her

Guys are going to masturbate – it’s a fact of life and most women know and accept this. They also know that men are visual creatures and need something sexy in front of their eyeballs to get off. This is the part that girls hate – they don’t want their partner watching and masturbating to other naked women. Your woman may not say anything about it, but it’s pretty much guaranteed that porn featuring other girls grates on her nerves.

Use this to your advantage and tell your partner that you’d much rather be watching her than some naked chick you’ve never met and don’t care about at all. This single phrase will probably be the most convincing thing you can do to get her to make a dirty video for you. She’ll appreciate that you’d rather be watching HER while you touch your penis than another girl and will do her best to make that happen.

Give Her Some Ideas

You don’t want to insist that your girlfriend make a video of her vagina up close and personal to start off with.  It will probably freak her out and turn her off to the idea of making an adult movie for you all together. Instead. start small and work your way up. Give her some ideas of sexy things she can do on camera that will turn you on, that don’t involve her doing things featured in Hustler.

You can also get some ideas by watching soft core porn together. When you watch it with her, point out things that you think are hot and that you’d love to see her doing. Something along the lines of “She just doesn’t do that right, I bet you could do it better” or “I’d love to see you try that.”

Don’t be afraid to play around with the camera a little and have fun with it. Turn it on and forget about it, doing things that you normally do together. Take a short video, watch it together and then delete it immediately. Get her comfortable with the idea of having the video camera around.

Help Her Feel Sexy

She may agree to try videotaping herself doing sexy things for you, but you’re not going to get very far if you don’t make her FEEL sexy while doing it. Here are some easy ways to make her feel super hot, which will help her open up and let her inner vixen out.

  • Buy her sexy lingerie. Shop online together or visit a store with her in tow. Make SURE you choose something together and that she’s tried on. Don’t bring home something that doesn’t fit her – especially if it’s too small.
  • Candles or dimmer switches are amazing at hiding skin imperfections. Meaning that if you use soft lighting, she’ll feel like she looks better and you will both actually look a lot better on film.
  • Give her encouragement when she does something. If she’s dancing or moving around in some way, tell her how hot it is when she does. Get vocal – if you just sit there quietly, she’ll think she’s doing something wrong.

Assure Her That You’re Trustworthy

She might be afraid that if she makes a sexy video for you of herself, that she’ll be the next YouTube or Facebook star the moment you guys break up. This is a legitimate fear – one that you have to ease before she’ll ever step in front of the camera. If you’re with a new girl, don’t expect that she’s going to make a movie for you right away.

Take some time to build a trusting relationship with your partner so she knows you’re not going to sell out on her. Reassure her that this video is for your personal pleasure only and that if you break up with her, you will respect her enough to delete it immediately in front of her. Also, promise not to make any copies – and don’t.

Also, you can offer to make her a video in exchange for one of her if she’s still apprehensive that you might distribute the video in some way or show it to your friends. This way, she feels like she has a little leverage, or an “insurance policy” so to speak. However, this means you both have to trust each other with this kind of thing. If you don’t feel like your relationship is ready for this level of trust, put the homemade porn idea to bed until your relationship progresses.

How To Get Your Way In A Relationship

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A relationship is a give and take – isn’t it? Not always – here are some strategies that will help you get your way in a relationship when you need to.

No matter how in love you may be, there are going to be plenty of times in your relationship where you and your significant other disagree about something. Maybe you can’t decide on where to move to, or maybe you just can’t agree on what to have for dinner. Either way, it is possible to get your way without coming off like a self-centered jerk. You just have to make a calm, reasonable argument and know how to pick your battles.

How Important Is It?

If you find that you and your partner are at an impasse, the first thing to do is to decide how truly important it is that you get your way. How upset will you really be if you have to let your S.O. win on this particular topic? If you feel that you can live with it, you should go ahead and let your partner win. In doing so, you’ll not only end the debating, but you’ll also give yourself bargaining power in future disagreements.

If you agree to move into your boyfriend or girlfriend’s apartment instead of having them move into your place, you may find that you have the upper hand when it comes to choosing your next place of residence.

On the other hand, if you decide that you really want to get your way on the matter at hand, you may have to suggest that you’ll let your significant other make the call next time. Either way, ensuring that neither of you always gets their way is a compromise that can pay off. It makes sure that you don’t look too self involved when it is your turn to get your way.

Solidify Your Argument

When you are determined to come out on top, make sure that you have a truly solid argument. A lawyer wouldn’t show up to court without having done their research, and you shouldn’t show up to a decision-making debate empty handed, either.

Let’s say you get a job offer that would require you both to move, and you know your partner likes where you currently live. You need to have a well-considered list of positives when the time comes to discuss the issue.

Moreover, your argument can’t just be about how the move would be good for you. You should be able to point out how it will benefit you, how it will benefit your mate, and how it will benefit you as a couple. Don’t gloss over things or fib about how great it will be, but do look for a way to sell your S.O. on it.

You might start by admitting that this new city will be more expensive than where you currently live, but that the raise you’ll be getting and all of the added amenities will make it worthwhile. Perhaps your partner loves hiking, and you know that this new city is near a big national park.

Not only will these positive revelations make your partner feel better about moving, but demonstrating how much research you’ve put into the decision shows them how much you care about it. If you can make them see how important it is to you, your S.O. will be more likely to let you have your way.

It’s also key that you make them feel included in the decision, even if the outcome does end up in your favor. Never make a big decision without consulting your partner, even if you suspect that it will take some effort to win them over.

Stay Calm And Don’t Be Critical

Ultimately, if you can remain calm and congenial while making a clear, solid argument, you’ll drastically increase your odds of getting your way. Promising to compromise on future issues or offering a trade off can help.

Most importantly, make sure that your significant other knows that you really do care about their opinion in the matter, and they are sure to show you the same respect.