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Oral Sex – Do You Need A Condom And Can You Get An STD?

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Oral sex isn’t something that makes you think of STD’s automatically –  you’ve probably heard that the greatest risk for transmitting sexual infections such as HIV, AIDS, chlamydia and syphilis come from anal sex and vaginal intercourse. But can STD’s be transmitted through mouth to genital sex? What do you need to do to protect yourself?

Question: Dear Dan and Jenn, I am still young and recently had the “talk” and my parents told me to navigate to this channel. Do you have any tips for a person new to the sex world? Also, I was still confused about oral sex and didn’t want to ask my parents. Do you still need a condom and can you get a STD?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prT-oMvekBs[/youtube]

Remember That You Can Only Eliminate Risk Through Abstinence

No matter what kind of sex you’re talking about – whether it’s oral sex, vaginal sex, anal sex or even giving your partner a handjob or fingering them – you’re never 100% safe from sexually transmitted diseases. Even if you use spermicide, condoms or the withdrawal method, there is nothing you can do short of abstinence to completely eliminate your risk. If you’re engaging in any kind of sexual activity whatsoever with another person, you are putting yourself at risk of getting STD’s.

That said, there are lots of ways you can safely and easily reduce your risk – and be fairly confident that you’re not going to contract an STD. First of all, being in a monogamous relationship with someone who has been tested for and is free from STD’s is a start. If you have multiple sexual partners, condoms are your best asset as far as safety during sex is concerned.

Yes, Oral Sex Can Transmit STD’s

Generally speaking, the risk for spreading sexually transmitted diseases through mouth to genital sex is much less than the risk of spreading them through anal sex or vaginal intercourse. However, there is still a risk there, because STD’s like AIDS and HIV are found in vaginal fluid, pre-cum and semen. Don’t assume that just because your partner doesn’t “ejaculate” in your mouth that you are safe from STD’s.

If you have a sore or cut on your mouth before giving someone cunnilingus or fellatio, your risk of getting an STD multiplies by quite a bit. Hepatitis C, HIV and AIDS are spread easily through blood contact, even semen or precum to blood – which is the case if you have a cut or sore on or around your mouth.

You may not even know you have a cut or sore in your mouth – many times, people have small lacerations on their gums from brushing their teeth and if your gums bleed when you brush your teeth, you can be pretty certain that you have an “open wound” in your mouth all the time, at least when it comes to talking about the transmission of STD’s.

Your Risk Of Contracting An STD During Oral Sex Varies

There’s no sure way of determining how high your risk of getting a sexually transmitted disease through fellatio or cunnilingus is, because it varies. For example, pre-cum has a lower concentration of virus than semen or blood does, and if a woman infected with the HIV, Hepatitis C or AIDS virus and is on her period, she is much more likely to transmit the disease to her partner during sex.

Because how high the risk is depends on so many different factors, there’s no way to accurately say that you’re going to be safe from getting an STD during fellatio or cunnilingus without a condom.

It’s Not Just AIDS Or HIV That Can Be Spread

While HIV and AIDS are probably the most worrisome of viruses that you can contract from mouth to genital sex, they’re not the only ones. There are lots of different sexually transmitted diseases and infections:

  • Chlamydia
  • Hepatitis C
  • Gonorrhea
  • Syphilis
  • Herpes
  • Pubic Lice
  • Genital Warts
  • HPV
  • Hepatitis B

That’s a pretty long list – and while some of these diseases can be treated with antibiotics, others can’t and some can even contribute to throat and mouth cancers later on in life. Furthermore, be aware of the fact that you may not know someone has an STD – in fact, they may not even know it. They may not be displaying any symptoms at all, so it’s best to be safe and assume that you have a risk of contracting any of these diseases through oral sex at any time.

Using A Condom Or A Dental Dam During Oral Sex Will Greatly Reduce Your Risk

If you want to reduce your risk of getting an STD during fellatio or cunnilingus, using a condom or a dental dam will make it much less likely that you would take anything home that you didn’t want to. Here are some tips on how to make yourself safer when giving (or receiving):

  • Wear a condom. Try flavored condoms or a flavored lube to make things taste better (and they smell great) and definitely avoid condoms that have spermicide on them.
  • For cunnilingus, make sure that you use a dental dam. If you place a dab of lube underneath the dental dam on the clitoris and vulva, it will create real feeling sensations that are just as good – if not better – than unprotected fellatio or cunnilingus.
  • Don’t use oil based lubricant at all. Oil based lubes will break down the latex and make the condom pretty much pointless.
  • Get a fresh condom after anal sex or vaginal sex if you’re going to have mouth to genital sex. You don’t want to be using the same condom for fellatio as you did for vaginal or anal sex. Not only does that make the condom less effective, it’s a great way to spread lots of harmful bacteria.
  • If you don’t have a dental dam on hand for cunnilingus, you can do one of two things. You can use a nice, large square of plastic food wrap, or you can cut a condom lengthwise and spread it out over the vulva. Either way is better and safer than using nothing at all.

Fleshlight Pink Lady Original Review

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The Fleshlight Pink Lady Original is pretty much known as the original male masturbator. Before disposable squishy eggs or jelly ribbed masturbation sleeves, there was the Fleshlight. Some men are apprehensive about trying a masturbation sleeve, but once they do, they very rarely go back to masturbating with just their hand. That’s because the Fleshlight product line is made from the softest, squishiest material out there – Superskin.

The Good

The next best thing to a real vagina, hands down. This product is crafted from Superskin, which feels really great on your penis. It’s really the closest material out there to real skin. Once you lube it up, it slides up and down the penis and takes masturbation to a whole new level. It’s easy to use, and when the cap is put on, looks like an ordinary, extra large flashlight making it easy to hide in plain sight. Once you put lube in it and start pumping away, the holes in the sides of the case create a vacuum, so you actually feel like you’re getting a blowjob too!

The Bad

The Fleshlight is a little large and cumbersome for small hands. Fortunately, most men have larger hands so this isn’t a problem unless your lady friend wants to use the toy on you for a handjob. Also, be careful not to use too much lube – the pumping action will squirt the lube out of the holes in the case, getting your hands sticky. If you like a lot of lube, just wrap a washcloth or hand towel around the case to keep your hands dry. The major issue with this product is that it’s difficult to clean. Still worth it though!

The Bottom Line

There’s a reason that the Fleshlight Pink Lady Original is the number one selling male sex toy in the world – it feels THAT good. In fact, men that have never used masturbators before have never gone back to using their hand after trying this product just once. While it can get messy if you use a lot of lube, it’s well worth it for the sensations you’re going to get. There’s only one thing better than a Fleshlight – the real thing!

The Full Fleshlight Pink Lady Original Review

The Fleshlight Pink Lady Original is the first sex toy of its kind – a Superskin vagina that gives guys intense pleasure while masturbating. It feels so incredibly real that many men may have trouble telling the difference! The only thing that the product doesn’t offer is temperature – a real vagina is warmer than the Fleshlight. But other than that, it’s soft, wet and textured inside just like a real woman.

Superskin

The Fleshlight Pink Lady Original is a soft, “Superskin” vagina that sits inside of a black, flashlight looking case. Superskin is a material made from elastomer, which is designed to feel as close to human skin as possible. While this is probably the realest feeling sex toy you’re going to find on the market, it does require quite a bit of cleanup.

Keeping It Clean

The website suggests that the toy can simply be flushed out with warm water and stored, but this definitely isn’t going to get all the “funk” out, especially the crevices. If you really want your Fleshlight Pink Lady to be clean, take the Superskin vagina out and rinse it with warm water – without soap – separately from the case. Lay it on a towel to try, and then take a baby bottle brush with a bit of dish soap and go to work on the case. A quick scrub is all you need. Once the Fleshlight  is completely dry, take cornstarch or cornstarch based baby powder and dust the entire surface and the inside of the tube. This is what keeps it feeling soft like human skin! This can be troublesome if you like to use your Fleshlight often, however, if you neglect dusting it with powder after use, it’s not going to last as long as it could. All in all, the Fleshlight Pink Lady Original is an excellent male masturbator – in fact, it IS the #1 selling male sex toy after all! The cleanup is well worth the pleasurable sensations it gives during masturbation, hands down!

How To Talk To Women Without Freezing Up

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Dating can be intimidating if you don’t know how to talk to women. Many guys get nervous or frustrated when they try to talk to women, because they’re just not sure what to say, how to act or what to do. Here’s what you can to do make sure you don’t clam up and make a fool out of yourself!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wD2UBF0Q1og[/youtube]

Relax!

The most important thing you can do when dating and talking to women is to relax and take everything in stride. When you start getting stressed out and worried about doing well or what she’ll think of you, everything will go downhill quickly. Give off an energy of being quiet, calm and confident. Relax and be fun to be around. Laugh at things around you that are funny and stay calm. Don’t allow yourself to get too nervous or worked up over dating, because if you do, you’ve already sealed your fate and you won’t do well at all.

Avoid Trying Too Hard

A lot of guys end up trying to hard when dating. They try too hard to be funny, but end up telling really lame or offensive jokes. Or, they may try too hard to be sexy or to turn a woman on, but they end up coming across as really overbearing, sexual or creepy. The best thing you can do is to avoid trying TOO hard. You definitely want to put your best foot forward, but this is where relaxing comes into play. You want to keep from trying to hard, because you’ll probably end up turning her off, big time.

Be Yourself

A girl is going to find out who you really are anyway once you start dating her, so why not just be yourself from the very get go? Along with trying too hard, a lot of men try to be the kind of guy they think a woman wants, but it usually ends up backfiring. While you definitely want to be the best you that there is, don’t pretend to like things you don’t like, do things you don’t do or dislike things you actually really enjoy. Be confident in who you are and put yourself out there. There are definitely going to be women who will appreciate that you took the risk to be honest and true to yourself.

Things To Talk About

Most guys worry about what to say when it comes to dating. They want specific things that they can discuss during a date so they never have a lull in the conversation or those awkward silences. While following where the conversation naturally leads is the best thing you can do, here are some things you can say (and things you need to avoid) to be successful.

  • Do you have anything in common? This can be movies, music, hobbies or whatever. Think about the things you like and ask her if she likes any of the same things.
  • Don’t talk too much about yourself. This can make you seem egotistical and self absorbed – which every woman hates. Make sure you ask her questions about herself too and genuinely listen to her answers.
  • Don’t complain about things. While you might be getting really crappy service at the restaurant you’re at, or you spilled on yourself and your car won’t start, it’s important that you laugh things off – especially on the first date. Don’t come off too pessimistic.

Focus On Her

Do you know how many times a girl has been on a date with a guy that won’t shut up about himself? Tons. So don’t be that guy. Instead, put the focus on her. Ask her questions (that aren’t too creepy) and be interested in the answers. What does she like to do for fun? What kind of music does she like or what kind of movies does she like to watch? What is she passionate about? What drives her? What is she proud of in her life? If you ask a woman about herself and are actually interested in what she has to say (and she will sense if you’re faking it) she’ll be smitten with you from the get go.

Don’t Be Afraid To Flirt

Girls love flirting – that’s all there is too it. Flirting can be so much fun for both the guy and the girl. Tease her, compliment her, touch her lightly on the arm or leg and get close to her. Laugh at things that are funny and give her a genuine smile with some smoldering eye contact. Witty banter is priceless when it comes to talking to women, but make sure you’re not teasing her too hard. Mixing up a little teasing with genuine compliments and good, engaging conversation is an excellent formula for flirting success.

Things To Remember

While you definitely want everything to develop on its own naturally, there are some things you want to keep in mind when you’re out dating and making friends with women:

  • You’re not “performing.” Relax and have fun!
  • Avoid pick up lines. Pick up lines almost never work.
  • Women are attracted to men that give off a fun, confident energy. Be that guy! People will start to flock to you (girls included) if you are fun to hang out with.
  • Don’t be afraid of pauses in the conversation. All conversations have natural pauses, especially if you’re having dinner – you definitely need to take a few minutes here and there to eat! Let the conversation develop naturally, without worrying about awkward silences. Pauses in the conversation actually create sexual tension – which is a very good thing!

Practice Makes Perfect

Like with anything, practice makes perfect when it comes to dating and having a conversation with a woman. If you struggle with being comfortable talking to women, practice doing it even with girls you’re not interested in dating. Go up to women on a daily basis and make an effort to strike up conversations with them. It may be difficult for you to do at first, but as you continue doing it, you’re going to become more and more comfortable with the concept of just approaching women and making conversation with them. This means that when the right girl finally does come along, you’re going to be well prepared for having a fun, successful conversation with her.

How To Get Your Man In The Mood – TONIGHT!

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These sex tips to turn the heat up with your lover are almost GUARANTEED to work! Even though men are usually up for having sex, sometimes you need to put in a little effort to get your partner to start thinking about slipping in between the sheets with you. Apart from telling him up front that you want to get it on, try these super steamy sex tips tonight and have him begging for more!

Cook With Cloves

Cloves have long been known to be an aphrodisiac for both men and women, but they get a lot less press than other aphrodisiacs such as oysters or ginseng and ginkgo biloba. One woman who ate a clove soup with her man ended up having sex with her man all night – and it happened again the next time she made the soup! Cooking with cloves can definitely revv up your lover’s libido and have him craving sex – and it will work for you too! Next time you make dinner, find a recipe that has cloves in it, such as a ham baked with cloves or a clove flavored Bundt cake.

Be A “Damsel In Distress”

Men love to rescue women – it’s hard wired into their DNA to do it. Does this mean you have to completely give up your female independence to make him feel like the Alpha male though? Of course not. However, playing a “damsel in distress” every now in then will be all you need to get your partner wanting to lift your skirt up and bend you over.

Next time you want to get it on with your lover, have him come over and fix something for you or lift something really, really heavy that you just can’t manage to lift by yourself. Whatever you ask him to do, make sure it’s something really manly that you couldn’t possibly do on your own. Bonus points if he comes over to do his job and you’re wearing skimpy lingerie. He’ll definitely get the idea then!

Play A Little Hard To Get

Men also love the chase – it’s part of the reason they really don’t like clingy women. Men want to be with a woman who is confident enough not to NEED him too much or smother him with affection. Use this tactic to your advantage by playing a little hard to get. Flirting is probably the best way to do this. Flirt with your partner unabashedly – tease him, banter with him and let him get a glimpse of your ass in a tight pair of jeans as you walk away. It won’t be long before he’s tearing your jeans off and initiating a night full of passion.

Dress Up

You don’t necessarily have to dress up to get your partner to start thinking about sex, but take some time to make sure you look good. Often, women get comfortable in relationships and don’t do their makeup as often or worry about what their wearing. Usually, this isn’t a problem because men love to see their women in a pair of pajama pants that make your butt look good.

However, sometimes women get too comfortable and a guy’s “sex mechanism” doesn’t get turned on or want to have sex as much – because you’re not looking sexy, you’re not feeling sexy. And he can pick up on that. So go get a pedicure, a manicure, a wax job and buy a new bra and panty set. Do your hair and makeup, even if you’re just hanging out around the house. If you’re confident and looking hot, he’ll want to jump your bones ASAP.

Make Out

Another thing that couples forget about when they’ve been in a relationship for awhile is how much fun just kissing can be! Remember when you first got together with your current partner and you spent hours just kissing without worrying about when you were going to have sex or even what you were going to do next? There’s really something about making out with your partner – without thinking about sex – that makes sex even hotter when you finally do head to the bedroom!

Next time you and your lover are hanging out on the couch and watching a movie, lean over and start kissing his neck softly. Move up to his lips and kiss him deeply. If he starts to move his hands to start taking off your clothes, stop him. Use your lips to show him that you just want to kiss – for now. After you’ve teased him enough with your lips, then you can let him take it further.

The Virtuoso Lover Review

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The Virtuoso Lover, written by renowned love and romance author Michael Webb, is a complete, 3 book guide that will take you from being simply “okay” or “good” in bed to being absolutely excellent! Build your sex skills from square one or add finesse to your current sexual repertoire. An easy to read, comprehensive guide that will allow you to hone your sexual talents and truly become a master of sex.

The Good

The Virtuoso Lover is a complete guide on how to become a better lover. Not only does it include the philosophies behind great sex and how to become a great lover, it also includes two books on excellent tips and techniques to get you started. That said, Michael reminds us several times during the guide that actual tricks and techniques are not what make a great lover. Read all 3 books within the guide and you’ll be armed with comprehensive information on how to have amazing sex and become stunning in bed.

The Bad

Those looking for a simple guide full of techniques will easily be turned off by the lack of actual tricks in book one. The background information contained within book one is an extremely important step in learning how to become a great sex partner, but you may find yourself tempted to skip ahead a little bit to the actual how-to instructions. Resist the urge to read right past the chapters on sexual programming and common sex mistakes, because you’ll actually find that a lot of that information will completely change your outlook on sex, thereby completely revamping your sex life.

The Bottom Line

The Virtuoso Lover is a great all-in-one guide to becoming an awesome lover. This book certainly doesn’t disappoint, whether you’re looking to do a complete overhaul of your sex life or if you just want to pick up a few excellent tips here and there. The Virtuoso Lover is definitely one book you’ll want to save to reference back to again and again. As you move through your sexual journey, you’ll find more use for it than you ever had, especially as you get better and better at sex and need new and exciting things to try!

The Full Virtuoso Lover Review

Michael starts The Virtuoso Lover off with an introduction on how to get the most out of the information contained within. Many books containing great sex tips and advice fall short here, because a number of people just aren’t sure how to use the information they’re being given about sex. One of the most powerful pieces of advice in The Virtuoso Lover is this: “The biggest sex secrets are not moves, tricks or techniques – they are specific mindsets, beliefs and mental programming.” Your attitude towards sex has much more to do with how good you are in bed than you really think.

The guide dives right into the gritty stuff, introducing sexual programming and how each one of us has a different set of beliefs and ideas towards sex. Michael teaches us how to find our own custom sexual programming blueprint by asking ourselves sets of questions that has shaped us sexually. Michael shows us exactly why our brains – the most important sexual organ of the body – are pretty much completely in charge of our sexual experiences, right down to what we expect sexually of other people and how receptive we are to certain types of sexual gratification.

The Virtuoso Lover also gives some simple, yet powerful wisdom on the real secrets to enjoying sex. Being fully engaged in sex, focusing on your partner’s pleasure as well as your own and really knowing what you enjoy sexually are extremely effective at taking sex from “blah” to absolutely “wow!” Of course, one of the biggest problems sex-wise between men and women is just that – they’re very different! Men are completely different sexual creatures than women and they often don’t respond to the same things. Michael realizes that while the differences between men and women emotionally and socially may cause problems for a couple’s sex life, he also realizes (and teaches) that these differences can actually be made to work for you and not against you.

Foreplay is absolutely essential to a successful sexual relationship and that knowledge is not lost in The Virtuoso Lover. While the chapter on foreplay lacks some actual foreplay suggestions, the “why” behind it is a fascinating and enlightening read. You definitely won’t want to miss out on the benefits that foreplay – and lots of it – can offer you and your partner sexually.

Each person’s sexual journey is different, but Michael reminds us that one thing is pretty much the same between everyone: no one taught us how to have sex and they especially didn’t teach us how to have sex well. Many men and women turn to pornography to learn how to have sex, but this will only serve to make your sex life worse, not better. The Virtuoso Lover, however, points out the many sexual mistakes that men and women make, and how de-programming yourself to stop making these mistakes will greatly improve how good you are in the sack.

The second book in The Virtuoso Lover starts off with a bang and you right into step by step techniques on how to please your partner from head to toe. Michael warns against trying too hard and of going straight for the gold. In fact, many of the great techniques contained in the second part of The Virtuoso Lover don’t have anything to do with the vagina or clitoris at all. About halfway through, however, Michael announces the book’s foray into the pleasure to be had down south with a vibrant, “Welcome to the Vulva!” These are the tips that advanced lovers may want to skip ahead to.

Two quite large chapters on the clitoris and g-spot tell you how important these two spots are on a woman’s body, and after reading these sections, you won’t be wondering what to do with the clitoris or where exactly the g-spot is. Michael ties up the second installment of The Virtuoso Lover with a comprehensive look at a woman’s orgasm from how it happens to how it sometimes won’t happen and why.

The third and last book in The Virtuoso Lover guide is more about advanced techniques and philosophies that should definitely wait until you’ve mastered many of the principles in the first two books of the guide. From sex positions to dirty talk, Michael finishes up the mini-series with just about everything else you need to know about how to become great at sex, whether you’re new at it or have been doing it for years.

The Virtuoso Lover is definitely a long read, so it’s not one you’ll want to sit down with and try to read “cover to cover.” Instead, take some time out to read and absorb a few of the principles in the guide, putting them into play soon after learning them. You can always go back to the guide and grab a few more pieces of the puzzle and start adding them to your sexual repertoire until you’ve literally become a sex master.

Of course, what ebook wouldn’t be complete without some amazing bonus materials? Michael certainly doesn’t let us down here, and has given us five incredible bonus books to only further add to your knowledge about how to fully and completely pleasure your partner.

Sex All Around The House

One way that sex gets old fast is doing it in the bed over and over and over. So you don’t have a ton of money to spend in a hotel room or anything, but you don’t have to! This lovely little companion book tells you hundreds of different ways you can turn your house into a sex playroom! You may have thought of doing it on the couch a few times, but Sex All Around The House definitely takes it to the next level.

How To Make It Bigger, Stronger And Last Longer

No matter how many sex skills and techniques you learn, it won’t help you a whole lot if you haven’t got much stamina to keep going with. If you have a short or thin penis or are a premature ejaculator, Michael includes a book that will help give you the skills you need to take control over your sex life with 100% all natural ways to enlarge and thicken the penis, as well as helping you to last longer in the sack.

Sexy Coupons

You’ve probably heard of giving your partner sexy coupons for an anniversary or Valentine’s Day gift, but what about just giving coupons to your partner just because? Included with all the other great bonus items you get with The Virtuoso Lover, you’ll get a booklet of coupons you can leave under your partner’s pillow or in their car to get them thinking about what you want to do to them all day.

How To Give Your Partner Great Massages

Massages are a great way to get your partner to loosen up and relax before sex. One of Michael’s most important tips to giving your partner the greatest pleasure (and getting the best pleasure in return) is to help your partner to relax and put the day’s stress behind them. This companion book will teach you massage basics so you can melt her muscles and make her putty in your hands.

101 Romantic Ideas

Romance is many times the only prelude to sex, so if you don’t know how to romance a woman, you’re not getting very far with her in bed no matter how many awesome techniques you know. Go from being good in the sack to being an amazing lover in every sense of the word. Romance her and sweep her off her feet and make the sex that much better! 101 Romantic Ideas will definitely take you to the next level.