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Sex Is Boring… How Can I Get My Wife To Be More Seductive?

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This is a question many men would like to have answered. How can you get your wife to be more seductive? How can you get your wife to do all those things that turn you on so much?

It all starts with whether or not she feels comfortable enough with herself. If she is comfortable with herself, she will begin to let go of the doubt she has over dressing in that skimpy lingerie, talking dirty during sex, or whatever else she may otherwise be inclined to hide for fear of being rejected. Getting your wife to be more seductive begins with making her feel more attractive and accepted.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My wife and I are very sexually active, but I’m getting rather bored. She wants to have sex but that seems like that’s ALL she wants to do.

How can I get her to talk dirty and to seduce me?. She seems to be too self conscious about her body and thinks that it’s “silly” and only happens in the movies. Please help.

–Paul, Washington

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZ4ypKdp87g[/youtube]

Dressing sexy

No matter how good a woman looks to you, chances are she doesn’t see the same thing you do when she looks in the mirror. It is a scary notion to step in front of someone naked only to have them recoil in disgust. Many women have this very fear, so they are often afraid to dress in sexy, skimpy clothes.

Imagine if someone dressed you in a loincloth and threw you in front of a stranger. You’d feel very exposed and tense.  Chances are pretty good that you would also feel a bit embarrassed about standing in front of someone with barely anything to cover you.

Even if you have been married to someone for years, it can still feel awkward or uncomfortable to stand in front of someone with next to no clothes on. This is where feeling comfortable with her body comes in. If you let your wife know that you think she is beautiful and talk with her about trying new things to be more seductive, then you are taking steps in the right direction.

Ask her to simply try dressing seductive, and if she feels uncomfortable she can stop. This lets her be in control and if you show interest in her while encouraging her to let go of her doubt about herself, then you have opened the doorway for you and your wife to experiment with new areas of arousal and sexual excitement.

Talk dirty to her

Talking dirty is another aspect all together though, as it has nothing to do with the body and everything to do with the mind. You’d probably give a thousand bucks for the ability to know just the right dirty things to say to make your partner moan with desire and you’d give a million to take back saying the wrong things and having your partner look at you like you’re crazy.

This alone can be enough to deter many women and men from experimenting with dirty talk at all. The most important thing about incorporating dirty talk into your sex life is starting small.

Don’t try to go over the top at first, as this can make for some awkward moments. You can start by simply describing what the other person is doing to you, or how you want them to do it. Don’t feel bad if the words don’t come rushing out at first, as with everything else practice makes perfect.

You can ask your wife to be more seductive, for which you may get shot down, or you can help her. Compliment her, romance her and make her feel sexy in her own skin. Let her choose lingerie that she likes, even if it’s not the skimpiest thing on the rack.

Talk dirty with her, instead of asking her to talk dirty to you. With your help, your wife will feel better about herself and your sex life will improve drastically!

Dating Tips – Does No ALWAYS Mean No?

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The dating field can sometimes be hard to play.

How do you ask someone out, is sex after three dates okay, what do you wear on a date?

It definitely takes some courage and some patience to get used to the dating scene.

When showing interest in someone, it’s common to get rejected. If you’re rejected, does no always mean no?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’ve been told that sometimes persistence is a good thing? Do you believe that sometimes one should be persistent after receive the first no, or do you think persistence is a bad thing?

— Budz

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94UHXaAQwNk[/youtube]

Why A Woman Says No

A woman may reject your dating advances for a variety of reasons. Perhaps she just got fired or quit her job. Perhaps someone passed away or she’s having a fight with a friend or family member. Perhaps she’s dating someone or perhaps she just got out of a relationship.

There is a much greater chance of there being some external factor to her rejection than the fact that she just doesn’t like you. So if you get rejected when asking her out, take heart. It may mean no today, but it might not mean no in the future. Sometimes it does pay to be persistent if you’re really interested in someone.

For the record, however, there is a big difference between persistence and stalking. If you repeatedly make advances towards the same person and she says no every time, or she’s started avoiding you or has even called the cops on you, chances are you’ve stopped being persistent and have walked right into stalking.

One time that no always means no is during sex. If someone says no to a sexual advance or makes themselves clear that they don’t want to have sex, no always means no.

Getting A Yes

There are several things you can do to set yourself up for a yes even before you ask someone out. The trick is, stop asking people out! It’s difficult for someone to say yes when they’re put on the spot like that.

Instead, have conversations with them. Get to know them and let them get to know you. Just have a conversation with them as though they were a real person or a friend  because they are! This often gets the person you’re interested in relaxed enough to figure out if she really is interested in you or not, and you have a better chance of getting a yes this way than just asking her out point blank.

While you can never really say that no doesn’t always mean no, you can say that no might mean no for right now. Don’t be afraid to try again later.

Of course, when it comes to sex, no always means no but if you’re just asking a girl out and she rejects you, just remember that it might be a multitude of things causing her to be uninterested in you at that point in time rather than her just being uninterested in you. Approach her again in due time and spark up a conversation. It really doesn’t even have to go anywhere. If you approach her with talking to her being your only goal in mind, you are setting yourself up for dating success.

While you might not always be successful, as long as you’re not bordering on stalking, take a no with a grain of salt and re-approach her at a later date. You can also ask her to be honest with you. If she continues to say no, just ask her if she’s just not interested in you. If she’s really not, she’ll let you know. Then you can move on and focus your efforts on another fish in the sea!

Frustrated Girl Still Can’t Orgasm!

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For some women, it is extremely hard to have an orgasm. Many of the things that work for most women just don’t seem to cut it with others. If you’re one of the women who can’t seem to climax, it can be extremely frustrating.

The cause could be from having too much stress and tension to having an emotional block that just won’t let you go over the edge. It is important to really try and find the source of these issues and if need be, seek help from a sex therapist.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

For years I have been trying to have and orgasm, but nothing ever happens. No matter how much I try, I don’t seem to be able to do it!

Can you please help me what should I do? I have tried so many things. Please help.

–Jemma, Australia

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxrkDpGWjZY[/youtube]

Taking care of the problem on your own

Before you go packing your bags to see the therapist, try doing a few things on your own to see if you can solve the dilemma. Try relaxing before sexual activity by doing stretching, yoga, or even meditating as this can help calm the mind and may make your body more receptive to climax. Masturbation with or without toys is often the key for a woman to learn how she likes to be touched to reach an orgasm, so it’s important to try masturbation if you haven’t yet.

Both masturbation and oral sex can actually be a very useful way of stimulating the clitoris, which can result in a very satisfying orgasm. Various lotions and lubricants can also be used to help reduce friction and some lotions can actually enhance sexual arousal and sensations to help you orgasm. There are also a number of herbal supplements that can help stimulate blood flow to improve feeling and sensitivity in the sexual organs to better help you reach your climax.

Getting professional help

If you have tried everything you can think of and still can’t reach an orgasm, you should seek help from a professional. A sex therapist is a better bet than your regular physician, although your physician can check you physically to make sure there’s not a problem that is keeping you from having an orgasm. Sex therapists have undergone training in the field of sexual complications and are better equipped to help you with an inability to climax.

Build trust with your sex therapist

If it is an emotional issue, make sure you build trust with your sex therapist so you can feel more at ease about disclosing intimate details. Your sex therapist can help you work through your emotional problems and help you learn to relieve tension so you can be more open to receiving an orgasm.

Relaxation is key

Relaxation is one of the prime keys to achieving orgasm.  You have to be comfortable with yourself and your partner and you have to be comfortable with your partner enough to explore many different methods of reaching orgasm.

Foreplay is another important keystone because it helps to “warm up” the body in preparation for sexual activity. Try having extended foreplay to see if that helps to entice your body into opening up enough to reach climax.

Most of all, don’t be embarrassed to try new things that you might think are different. If you close yourself off from these options then you simply narrow your list of available methods of reaching an orgasm. If nothing seems to be working, then try something you might normally try.

Of course, if the issue is emotional then there might not be any method that works other than taking time to work through the issue with a sex therapist.  If you are truly unsure of what to do, it’s time to consult the professionals.

Yuck! My Partner Smokes! How Can I Make Her Stop?

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No matter how long you’ve been dating, you and your significant other are bound to have habits and mannerisms that your partner finds annoying and vice versa.

More of these come out of the woodwork as you get more and more comfortable with your partner, however, it might be all you can do to not let them drive you crazy! How do you deal with your partner’s annoying habits?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Hi, I’ve been going out with a girl now for about 2 months. And she’s picked up a bad habit – Smoking. I love her a lot, and she loves me too, but I don’t like it when she smokes. I don’t know what to think or do. I don’t want to control her or anything and I asked her to stop but she said if I love her it shouldn’t matter. Is this true or not true?

— (YouTube viewer)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xl3mDyvMaow[/youtube]

Your partner has an annoying habit, such as smoking or nail biting, that simply drives you up a wall. You love your partner, but their habit, or habits, are getting to be too much. What can you do to help curb your partner’s bad habits so you can be happier in the relationship?

Accept them or change them?

First, you need to realize you have two options here. You can learn to accept your partner’s bad habits, or you can do what you can to change them. By changing them, that doesn’t mean throwing away your partner’s cigarettes or secretly dipping their hands in Tabasco sauce while they’re asleep.

You can try to change your partner’s habits from your end, such as asking your partner to stop, or you can end the relationship. That is, if you can’t learn to accept and let go of their habits.

If you want to try to talk to your partner about their annoying habits, don’t be critical. Don’t give them an ultimatum and certainly don’t chastise them. You’re their partner, not their parent.

If you want your partner to stop smoking or stop biting their nails, let them know that it bothers you and simply ask if they can stop. Don’t entertain them if they get defensive, just let your partner know that you were just asking. After that, the ball is in their court.

What if they won’t change?

Your partner may decide that they can’t, or won’t, do anything about the habits that bother you. If your partner doesn’t want to or can’t quit their bad habits, the ball is back in your court. You have to decide your next move. Will you tolerate the habits or will you end the relationship with your partner?

It may seem silly to end a relationship over a few bad habits, but if they really get to you and your partner is uncompromising, there might be no other way.

What is important in a relationship is that both partners are happy and comfortable with each other. If your partner’s annoying habits keep you from being that way, you might want to evaluate the relationship.

Can you let it go?

If your partner’s annoying habits bother you but not quite that much, you might want to consider simply letting the issue go. It can be difficult to do, but with time you can learn to accept your partner’s bad habits. For example, nail biting might be annoying to you, but it’s not your nails. It’s theirs.

There’s no need for you to control your partner’s every move, so learning to let go of a small bad habit like that can actually enrich your relationship with your partner.

First and foremost, you need to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about what bothers you. See how your partner handles it. They may choose to nip their bad habits in the bud. If not, take some time and think about your next move, whether it’s accepting your partner’s annoying habits or letting the relationship go.

Is It Wrong to be Jealous Of My Partner Watching Porn?

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When a man watches porn, it is normal to feel jealous or insecure. This is actually a common issue among many women. It’s hard for a woman to get over the fact that her man is looking and perhaps thinking of another woman. It is hard for a woman to accept a man watching porn because traditionally, women are more emotional than visual.

Men prefer visual pornography while women find romance novels appealing, because it sets up a journey of love with rising passion and suspense. In short, a romance novel feeds that emotional desire that women have.  Men prefer pornography because it satisfies their need for visual stimulation.

Unfortunately, it’s difficult for a woman to understand a man’s perspective and that leads to jealousy and insecure feelings when it comes to pornography.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Do you have any advice on how to get over my jealousy? When I see my bf watching porn, I hate it! I figure it’s cheating ‘cause you’re imagining doing the other person. It’s so frustrating!

–(YouTube)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HShKTSsB87Q[/youtube]

Why men like porn

Men are action oriented, that is, they like to see what is happening. Men enjoy seeing nudity and sexual acts visually, and that’s perfectly natural for them. It’s how they’re built. It is nothing more than a man’s fantasy and in isn’t quite the same as cheating.

If he were sleeping with the woman he was watching then it would be, but just for a man to envision a woman long enough to get his jollies isn’t the same. He isn’t thinking about running off with the woman that he’s watching, or thinking about how much better they are than the woman they’re actually with. It is just a momentary fantasy and it’s his way of releasing tension and relaxing. It doesn’t mean he is cheating because in the end he’s with you and he chose to be with you.

Getting over the jealousy of a man watching porn is as simple or as complex you want to make it.  The best thing is to just try and accept that men are visual creatures and watching porn is natural to them.  It’s not that he doesn’t love you, it’s just that it’s natural for him to want to see sexual acts and nudity visually because it helps to satisfy him.

It’s perfectly natural

Many times, a man will use porn to satisfy his immediate sexual desires when you are not around or when you’re asleep. This is perfectly normal and shouldn’t be considered cheating. If your partner chooses to use porn frequently to the point where your sex life as a couple is diminishing, it might be time to get some help from an unbiased counselor or sex therapist.

If your partner uses porn as a means to satisfy his sexual desires but your sex life is still healthy and strong, don’t worry about it! Relax and let it go. It can be difficult to do, but it’s possible and will help keep your relationship healthy and strong as well.

If your partner watches porn, it’s not considered cheating. It’s perfectly normal and natural, as it is for a woman to fantasize emotionally using romance novels or her own imagination. If your partner’s porn habits are bothering you, talk to him open and honestly about why it bothers you and what you both can do to reach a compromise.

You certainly can’t give him an ultimatum. That will only serve to anger him and cause him to watch porn without telling you. Perhaps you can watch porn together or find other ways to satisfy each other sexually while using porn. Work together to find a compromise that satisfies both you and your partner.