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Swinger Seduction – How Can I Tell If Our Friends Want to Play?

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Ah, the magical dance of flirting and seduction. “Does she like me?” “Will he go out with me?”

And for the swinger crowd… “They’re hot! Do you think they like us that way? Let’s ask them out.”

The same age old question repeats itself over and over again. And the world round, young men, young ladies, and couples, repeat the same mistake – they walk up to this person or couple they’re infatuated with and ask their question. “Will you go out with me“?

STOP! Don’t do it! That question has ended more relationships (before they even started) than perhaps any other factor in the history of mankind. That question forces the other person (or couple) into a corner, and makes them pick a yes or no choice, without knowing much of anything about you. Your odds are bleak to none.

Instead, get to know this person or this couple in a casual and non-threatening way. Give them a chance to get to like you. Attraction is a very complex set of feelings, emotions, urges, desires.

But how do you escape the swamp lands of the “friend zone“?

This is where subtle flirting and seduction comes in. Make the other person or couple feel your interest and desire instead of telling them about it. And here’s a magical fun fact: if they feel the same way, you’ll just know. You’ll FEEL it in the sparks that are flying around you, in the highly charged atmosphere, in the frequent casual touching, the unusual proximity, etc.

Enjoy the dance.

The danger of course, is if you’re wrong, you risk losing your friends. They may get freaked out and run away. Or they may just think it was cute or even flattering. But you won’t know unless you try.

So HOW can you tell if they like you in that way and want to play?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My husband and I recently became friends with a couple our age and we have a really great time together. It’s just that lately there has seemed to be this unusual tension. Through comments here and there and an occasional look, we thing they want to swing. How should I go about finding out if this couple wants to swing with us? We really like them and don’t want to lose them as friends but they’re really hot too and it’s hard to resist.

Please help! I’m tormented thinking about it.

— Ellen in Mississippi

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Fr_O2wAwmI[/youtube]

    How to STOP Arguments and Fights from Killing Your Relationship

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    Endless fights, arguments, and snipes late into the night…

    You’ve seen it time and time again. Everything is going great, you and your partner love each other dearly, and your relationship couldn’t be better. Then, it strikes without warning. Someone says something, the other responds, and it’s on!

    What appears to be a simple misunderstanding escalates into an argument, a fight, and someone ends up sleeping on the couch. Worse yet, one of you starts throwing things, then storms out of the house. Remember the frustration, the anger, the resentment?

    Remember how puffed up your ego got? “Yeah, so there!” OK, clearly that didn’t go as planned. And you can bet nobody gained anything from that exchange.

    What happened? How did a simple question turn into a screaming match?

    In your mind, the other person “just doesn’t get it”. But here’s the problem – in their mind, YOU “just don’t get it”.

    And what’s even WORSE is having ANY kind of emotional discussion (read: argument) by phone or email. NEVER do that if you can avoid it.

    So how can this possibly be resolved without endless fighting and eventually maybe even breaking up?

    When a “discussion” escalates into an argument, all sense and reason seems to leave the building. At that point, it’s all EGO, and going downhill hard. Everybody is getting puffed up trying to one-up the other person by saying something just a little more hurtful in response to what they just heard last. A guaranteed path to achieving nothing useful.

    Could you agree to disagree?

    Imagine… What if you don’t have to win?

    Really, think about that for a moment. Do you really NEED to win? So what if you disagree? What if you like something, your partner doesn’t, and that could just be OK?

    Could you agree that on this particular topic, you like red, she likes yellow, and you’re “both right” when it comes to your own life choices. And as partners and friends, you agree to respect each other’s decisions. You “agree to disagree”.

    Suddenly, you don’t have to fight. You can be happy together again, and face new days in joy and harmony.

    How can you achieve this peace?

    So here’s a question from a gentleman wondering if it’s normal to have fights and arguments with his partner.

    Dear Dan and Jennifer,

    “No relationships are without arguments and quarrels” – Is this true?

    – Edmund (Singapore)

    [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiOKTNUn9cA[/youtube]

    Open Marriage – How Can I Convince My Husband?

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    Unhappy marriages can often lead to one or both partners cheating and having long term affairs.

    More often than not, the marriage doesn’t survive the affair. In truth, it’s not just the affair, but the deception and lies that truly kill the relationship.

    But what if you really want to stay with your current partner, although you realize that your partner is not able to fulfill your needs for sex and intimacy?

    Some people consider an open marriage as a solution. While this is definitely not for everyone, there’s no reason it cannot work for some.

    There are certainly other options for resolving intimacy issues couples face, but when counseling and other measures just don’t work, what can you do?

    This question is from a lady facing this very dilemma. She has been in an extramarital affair for over a year, but she desperately wants to stay married to her husband. So hopes to pusuade him to consider and open marriage.

    How can she approach him about the open marriage, considering her affair is ongoing?

    Dear Dan and Jennifer,

    I am finding myself in depression. My joy and juice for life is diminishing. My energy is dwindling. I want to break out, I want to be free. I have a family, three little girls 3, 5, and 6.

    How do you open up a marriage? I realize that the only solution to the bind I have gotten myself into is to talk truth. The truth is I have been having an affair for two years. I have no idea if the affair will last, but do we ever know if anything will ever last?

    I have to make myself have sex with my husband and thank god to my large sex drive this is not a problem, however I do have to overcome a resistance each and every time, and it is starting to get to me. My affair is also no dream around sex, but I lust after him, he smells and tastes good to me and he can talk and move through stuck places, unlike my husband.

    My husband is a good provider and a fun dad to the kids. I respect that and there is a certain turn on in the providing role that he holds. I can get off with him. However, we lack intimacy. I feel alone in this marriage and I went and got what I needed to feel connection and companionship.

    Oddly enough orgasm is tricky with “the other man”. Partially this has to do with his story, but also it has to do with mine. Something about guilt of withholding from my husband, something about not feeling truly wanted by the man that would get involved with a married monogamous woman. If I was truly available for a one on one, my affair would be on a plane and out of here. He, although I get intimacy, connection and friendship from him, is intimacy and relationship phobic. Go figure!

    In any case I need to open up the door. I am not sure if I need to mention my affair in talking with my husband about opening up the marriage or if I can simply let it be. I do realize that opening up the marriage requires more attention, communication and integrity than staying monogamous.

    I have issues with jealousy. My main concern would be sexually transmitted diseases, impregnation of another woman and thereby loosing my provider’s full financial support. I know that he lacks the capacity for intimacy on the level that I want and need so there is no jealousy possible from that point, but I could encounter this from my affair.

    Do you have any insights as to how I can work with jealousy so that it makes me aware of the love versus the loss that I fear?

    My hope is that if I open up the marriage, I will not feel guilty; therefore I could enjoy myself more sexually all around. I also hope that it moves my husband out of the position of the bad man that doesn’t give me intimacy, and I can simply enjoy him for who he is without putting up walls.

    I am pretty sure that he would be open to seeing other people. I am just not sure how to structure that, and seeing that we have three small children, I do believe we need to set up agreements around how this could work. Got any insights?

    – Dona (California)

    [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BlHQJjZv42g[/youtube]

    First Date – How to Avoid the Conversation Dead Zone

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    So you finally got up the courage to ask a girl out, and she said “yes”. Great news!

    Unless of course you have no idea where to go and what to do on your date. Worse yet, some people are so afraid of that dreaded conversation dead zone, that they won’t even go out on a date.

    Getting a girl to go out with you is traumatic enough for most guys. But this can be even worse. Sure, we’ve all been there. You remember those awkward first moments on a date with someone you don’t really know. What will you possibly talk about? Who will go first? What if you say something stupid? Will she ever go out with you again?

    STOP! That kind of thinking is going to leave you single forever, so cut it out. Going on a date should be fun and exciting, not terrifying!

    Here’s a question from Omar who is facing this very dilemma with a young lady he just asked out on a date. Omar is from the UAE, so there are some cultural differences concerning formality and dating, but the question remains.

    How can you know for sure that you won’t sit there in awkward silence, hoping for your date misery to end?

    Dear Dan and Jennifer,

    This is the first time for me to check out a video of yours, and I think they’re great.

    My question is that two weeks ago I asked a girl if she would be my girlfriend and she agreed (I’ve been talking with her for a few months). Then, I told her I’ll ask her out soon, but till now I didn’t only because I just can’t find the things to talk with her about on the date.

    So if you would please help me and give me some hints about what to say on the date so I don’t get stuck. Thanks for reading my message.

    — Omar (United Arab Emirates)

    [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PkJi0lIukY[/youtube]

    500 Sex Tips and Love Making Secrets That Everyone Ought to Know

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    Think back to your last date, or more specifically, to the last time you and your partner had sex …

    Do you remember the steam, the excitement, the sheer animal passion when you made love… how you couldn’t help from literally tearing each other’s clothes off in the heat of passion?

    No, not on your last date? Maybe the one before? Well, you get the point…

    That SHOULD be your sex life, but it isn’t. So let’s find out why and FIX IT.

    You’ll want to read all the way to end of this post so that you don’t miss a single great idea.

    The good news – it’s not your fault! Our culture has so demonized sex and love making, that most parents won’t even have a proper discussion about sex with their children or even show affection in public. The real irony here is that we are sexual beings – it’s hard wired into our DNA.

    It’s absolutely amazing how many people think sex is basically missionary position, and with the lights off. Can you say boring? Who wants to do that three times a week, really? Can you imagine having the exact same item for dinner the rest of your life?

    So are you destined for a boring sex life when you KNOW there are people out there having mind-numbingly amazing and enjoyable sex?

    Has this ever happened to you?

    You’ve just started dating a great guy or girl, and they’re wonderful. You’re really hitting it off. But a few weeks into your relationship, they start to get cold and distant, making excuses and getting too busy for you.

    You may catch a hushed mention of a previous lover, maybe when they’re chatting with a trusted friend, maybe on the phone, or worse – on the phone with their ex. Fact is, people often break up for reasons other than sex, but great sex will keep them ing back to their previous lover again, and again, and again… even when it’s against their better judgement.

    So how do you become one of these incredible lovers that no one can leave or resist?

    Here’s our review of, Oprah Love Expert, Michael Webb’s excellent guide 500 Love Making Tips & Secrets.

    I’m sure you’ll be as excited as we were when we started flipping through the pages. Michael Webb has one of the best collections of sex tips and lovemaking advice around.

    Here are just a few of the tips you’ll discover in 500 Love Making Tips & Secrets:

    • An item in the frozen food section that will send shivers up and down your mates body in a very surprising way
    • Something in your toiletry bag which doubles as an amazing lovemaking toy
    • 2 novel ways to use mirrors in lovemaking that you probably never heard of
    • Several natural ways to add length to your penis (two you can even test out tonight)
    • the one month a guy’s testosterone peaks
    • A great way to invirate someone who is too tired for sex
    • What colored light bulbs will intensify orgasms
    • How to get firmer erections and prevent premature ejaculation without medicines
    • The two things done in combination that will blow his mind
    • A sexy lubrication tip that will have him, well, enough said
    • What food and drink you should avoid the 24 hours before making love to avoid unpleasant odors
    • Food items to consume so your juices are sweeter (some might surprise you)
    • One simple trick to make your wife scream in delight like never before
    • Which smells can instantly increase penile blood flow by up to 40%
    • Where and how to touch your guy when he is about to orgasm that will have him explode like a firecracker (even he probably doesn’t know this trick)
    • Ways to use your mouth on her that will drive her absolutely wild
    • Something to do with your hands when you are entering her that will excite her even more

    Michael Webb also includes some really great dating tips to help you make your creative dates a success instead of a flop. And he also tells you how to avoid some potentially devastating dating disasters.

    500 Love Making Tips & Secrets also gives you a run down of the most common love making positions (and additional ones for the adventurous and athletic) along with explanations of the benefits of each one.

    There’s also a Lubrication Guide that gives you the pros and cons of the more popular products on the market, so you’ll know what’s fun and safe and what you should stay away from.

    500 Love Making Tips & Secrets includes many wild, exciting and juicy ideas, but Michael Webb stays true to his promise that none of them are immoral, degrading, perverted, or raunchy. Bummer… We like some of the kinky stuff.

    Summary:

    While we found some of the tips and ideas in 500 Lovemaking Tips & Secrets to be a little light, and we don’t necessarily agree with his viewpoints on pornography, there are definitely a lot of great lovemaking tips and ideas that are worth trying at least once, and many that you’ll probably keep using over and over again.

    Overall we highly recommend this book.

    Get your copy right now before you get busy and forget. Surprise your partner with the best lovemaking they’ve had in a long time.

    While you’re at it, you’ll definitely want to check out Michael’s other terrific resources below.

    One of our personal favorites is Lick by Lick – How to Go Down on a Woman and Have Her Begging for More.

    Don’t put it off.

    You’ll kick yourself if you don’t get 500 Love Making Tips & Secrets today.