Kinky sex can be so much fun, but women aren’t always into what men like. Here are three easy ways you can get your lover interested in what you want!

So What’s Your Thing?

It’s this one fetish you’ve been dreaming of since teenhood. Ever since you realized your penis’ calling, you couldn’t wait for that day when you could finally share this unique sexual activity with someone. You’re certain it’s going to be great, and you’ve been playing it in your head over and over – for hours each night. That’s your THING.

Now, you’ve grown up, and the stage is set. You have your own place and a gorgeous adoring woman. You’ve waited for this all your life – it’s finally going to happen – but she says, “I’m sorry honey, but I don’t do that!”

These were the last words you heard before all your dreams came crashing down. If you listen closely, you’ll hear the quaint sound of your heart breaking into a million shiny pieces.

“But why? It’s gonna be fun,” you tempted.

“I don’t know, I just don’t wanna,” the prude answered.

You threatened legal action, physical repercussions, yes, even groveled, but still came out empty. For the life of you, you can’t convince your lover that it’s going to be okay. She just doesn’t see herself doing that thing with you – nope, not in this lifetime.

So, what’s left to do?

Before hanging the gloves in desperation, here are 3 practical things to do.

1. Find Out If Its Negotiable

Your thing could easily come in conflict with her self-image – she just doesn’t see herself that way. The fetish could be so beyond her boundaries as a sexual being, the moment she heard of it, it made her butt cheeks clinch ever so tightly.

Or, maybe it’s not her, maybe it’s you. Maybe you’ve just been watching too much porn and your erotic expectations are drastically skewed or out of sync. Perhaps what you’re suggesting is so out of this world, 99% of women will say “Nuh-uh,” while dragging you to the Psych Ward.

But granted, the thing, even though it conflicts with her self-image, is a reasonable activity for normal human beings, you need to ask one vital question: IS IT STILL NEGOTIABLE? (You have to give an honest answer to this.)

It may not be how she sees herself presently, but, is it negotiable? Can you possibly tempt her into it? Women have very flexible self-images. They think and say they can’t or won’t, initially allergic even to the very thought of kinky sex. This is usually just their default answer to novel stuff and things outside their comfort zones.

But given proper prodding, they’ll come around and turn out to be wonderful freaks in bed. It’s true, you can get a girl who is very anti anal sex to really love it! But you have to sense if the “NO” is negotiable, or if it’s something driven deep in her core values, solid and totally non-negotiable.

If it’s non-negotiable, then MOVE ON, GET OVER IT, don’t force the issue. She has every right to say “no.” Just because she’s in an intimate relationship with you doesn’t diminish that right a tiny bit.

But if you think there’s a sliver of possibility, then continue with #2. Answer this very important question –

2. What’s In It For Her?

Look at things from your lover’s point of view, what good will your “thing” bring her?

Of course, she can simply accommodate her man’s eccentric and kinky fantasies, but what good will it bring her personally? And don’t just say, “It’s gonna be fun!” You need more than that. Because if she just wants fun, she can turn to a million other things.

“What’s in it for her?” This is what sales savants constantly ask themselves. Only when you take the buyer’s perspective and slide your feet into her shoes, will you be able to understand how to sell it to a woman.

I don’t want to know whatever your thing is, it’s your thing. But basically, you are the seller, she is the unwitting shopper. Don’t sell by declaring, “Do this so I can check it off my list of things to do before I die.” That means nothing to her! If you want “Message Received” blinking in her head, you have to sell it from the opposite perspective.

By looking through her eyes, you can make your thing very inviting and alluring. Package it so she’s poised to gain something from the experience, not as if she’s merely accommodating another one of your whims. Make her engage in it for her own sake. Make it unique and serve it up as a challenge or something new both of you can try. Make sure to give her a climax when she engages in the activity with you. Only then can you finish off with the “It’s gonna be fun” icing.

And you know you’ve done well when she becomes more rabid about it than you.

Here’s the thing. On some level, your girl knows exactly what you’re doing. She knows you’re tempting her, so don’t treat her like some gullible 6-year old. Women are not naïve. They sense these things, so level with them.

And ultimately, leave the decision to her.

3. Know When To Stop

Groveling & begging is not and will never be an option!

Begging? Are you kidding me?! You’re the one with the goods here. Why would you resort to groveling just to be given a shot? To me, it doesn’t make an iota of sense. It’s like a billionaire pointing a gun to some homeless guy’s head, threatening to kill the poor soul if he doesn’t take off with his briefcase of cash.

I repeat, DO NOT GROVEL OR BEG FOR YOUR THING. Honestly, in the past, when has groveling helped your cause or resulted into an amazing time? The best you get out of it is pity & accommodation – which by the way, rapidly comes in short supply.

You can’t get everything through After talk, for one can never out-talk or out-argue a woman who has already made up her mind. Your case cannot be pleaded with wit or logic, unless you can fashion a paradigm shifting speech.

The more you push for your thing, the more she’ll push back – so the more passionate you are about it, the stronger her resistance becomes. This is a negative spiral that you never should get into.

Her saying “No” doesn’t mean the end of things. A verbal “No” in Aftertalk can be adjusted, modified, even reversed during the sex itself. I’m not saying that her words don’t hold water, I’m saying they can be massaged into something else.

The palatability of stuff becomes very different when a woman is in the heat of things. While talking, which usually involves the thinking brain, she can very easily say “NO.” But when she’s in the heat of the moment, enveloped with the orgasm rush, her emotional brain, which knows very few rules, takes over and gets with the flow.

(When talk doesn’t help, go work for your thing during the sex itself. Yes, you can smoothly introduce your woman to kinky stuff she initially said “no” to. So you can then tell her, “See, I told you it would be fun!”)