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You are here: Home / Archives for paulcarlson

MMF Threesome Dilemma… Why Can’t My Threesome Have One Woman and Two Men?

By paulcarlson

It’s widely known in society that a man enjoys watching two or more women have sex with each other. A huge fantasy among men is to have a threesome with their partner – two women with him right smack in the middle of them.

Less mentioned, however, is the threesome where there is one woman and two men. What causes a two man-one woman threesome to be much more taboo?

So what’s wrong with an MMF Threesome – one girl and two guys?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdMu0TPXGfs[/youtube]

The Human Condition

It’s natural for humans to be curious about sex in a variety of different forms. Whether it’s oral sex, anal sex or even sex with someone of the same gender, these are all things that pique the curiosity and interest of a human being.

Men, however, are socially raised to believe that it is not acceptable to be submissive in any way. They’re taught to be macho.

Also socially ingrained into men and all people actually, is that when two people come together, one must be submissive and the other dominant.

This is something that is seen with all mammals and it’s only natural for humans. Understanding why two men being together sexually is considered more taboo than two women being together sexually takes an understanding of the human condition.

If men are taught to never be submissive and when two people are together, one of them must be submissive, if two men are together one of them must become submissive.

Socially, this is unacceptable, yet this is something that is not projected on women. It seems perfectly natural and even erotic for two women to be together sexually and fuels a number of male fantasies.

Exploring Homosexuality

Every person has at least one fleeting thought about sex with someone of the same gender. It’s totally normal! However, because of the mindset that society has placed on people, men having even a fleeting homosexual thought is considered not normal.

Were a man to express this to someone, they would automatically assume that he is gay as opposed to assuming that he is human. Watching two women be together sexually allows a man to explore two people of the same gender being together sexually without being criticized in any way.

Perks of Same Sex Partners

Without having to worry about pregnancy in a sexual relationship, sex between two people of the same gender allows for more enjoyment and freedom.

Another factor that plays into the fact that men enjoy watching two women be together sexually is that women are traditionally more sensual. They tend to take sex and sexual pleasure slower, allowing a man to really watch and enjoy their pleasure.

A threesome with two men and one woman is perfectly normal and actually happens more than one would think. It’s normal and healthy for a person to want to explore all avenues and aspects of sexuality, whether that’s through masturbation, traditional heterosexual intercourse, oral sex, anal sex or sex with someone of your own gender.

It helps, however, to have an understanding of the societal pressures that make some sexual activities more or less taboo than another, so you can begin to understand that most sexual desires, thoughts and actions are normal and are simply part of the human condition.

Filed Under: Swingers & Threesomes Tagged With: bisexual, have better sex, homosexuality, sexual fantasies, swingers, threesome

Why Is Masturbation So Taboo?

By paulcarlson

There are many rumors and taboos associated with masturbation.

Does it cause blindness? Does it cause hairy palms? Is it wrong? Is it unhealthy? Does it cause premature ejaculation?

Exploring the origin of the taboo behind masturbation and the scientific studies associated with it can lead to a clearer understanding of what masturbation is and what it definitely isn’t.

Why is masturbation so taboo? Could this be one of the reasons that so many men suffer from premature ejaculation?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqowchWbYqs[/youtube]

Where did it go wrong?

Masturbation has been around since really, the dawn of time. Masturbation for women is relatively newer, but since man learned he had a penis, he learned what he could do with it. As humankind evolved, we evolved into a society with religion, morals and beliefs.

Some religions suggested that masturbation was wrong and that spilling one’s “seed” outside of procreation was a sin. This was generally because at that time in the world, cultures were looking to expand and bring about more and more people.

That ideation, however, didn’t stop when the world had enough (and more than enough) people in it. It’s a view that continues to be held today in certain cultures.

That in and of itself doesn’t mean that masturbation is wrong though. It’s up to you to decide whether morally, you believe that masturbation is something that makes you comfortable.

Scientifically, where does masturbation stand?

Studies done on masturbation show that 98% of men masturbate. It’s simply a fact of life.

Some of these men do it in secret and are shamed by it because of the culture that they grew up in while others accept it as a necessary but pleasurable activity. To others, it’s just no big deal and it happens.

Masturbation doesn’t cause hairy palms or blindness and is considered by many in the medical community to be a healthy way to reduce the testosterone levels in the body and release some of the day’s frustrations and aggravations.

Some studies have even shown that people who have three orgasms a week are known to have a life expectancy that is seven or eight years longer than someone who doesn’t have orgasms that often.

Does masturbation cause premature ejaculation?

Premature ejaculation is mainly caused by the physiological response to too much testosterone in the body. Ejaculation is one way to release it and when the time comes for an orgasm, it may end up happening too soon. This can happen during masturbation or during sexual intercourse, but masturbation isn’t to blame.

Someone who doesn’t masturbate at all may even have problems with premature ejaculation. If you find that you’re ejaculating too soon, whether you’re masturbating or having sexual intercourse, seek help from your doctor. He or she will have some questions to ask you and based on your answers, they’ll come up with a treatment plan for you.

While masturbation is becoming more widely accepted, some cultures and some individuals still hold outdated views on the subject. Science proves that masturbation is healthy and can even add spice to your sex life, release frustration and increase life expectancy.

If masturbation is something you enjoy, find the appropriate time and place for it and go for it! If it’s something that you’re comfortable with and that brings you pleasure, don’t let anyone else’s beliefs or morals get in your way. It only matters what you think!

Filed Under: Masturbation Tagged With: how to masturbate, masturbation, sex tips

Is Anal Sex Really Dangerous?

By paulcarlson

Anal sex, like any type of sex, can be pleasurable but can also take a nasty turn if you don’t take the appropriate precautions and use care when having anal sex.

So can it be dangerous? You bet, but that doesn’t have to exclude it from your list of enjoyable bedroom (or other room) activities if you really enjoy it.

Here are some ways you can make anal sex safe and fun.

Is anal sex really dangerous? Can it be practiced safely?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cv2WADgqOs[/youtube]

Practice and Patience

Anal sex isn’t something you’re going to be able to be successful with on the first try. It might hurt at first, and you’ll have to go slow. It’s important that your partner and you are on the same page about how to try anal sex.

Practice first with your fingers or other small, smooth objects until you get used to the sensation. Have patience and work up to the point where anal sex isn’t as uncomfortable.

Keeping Clean

That particular orifice in our bodies was designed to excrete waste, and it does so pretty efficiently. Unfortunately, since anal sex is something our bodies weren’t designed to do (although we can manage pretty well sometimes), you might end up “playing in the mud” when you try anal sex.

Human waste is loaded with bacteria and in part, that’s what makes it dangerous if you don’t keep things clean. NEVER have vaginal intercourse after anal intercourse without washing thoroughly. Wash your hands, toys, penis and anything else that was involved. Wash everything again when you’re done! NEVER have oral sex after anal sex!

You can reduce your exposure to the bacteria in human waste if you wear a condom during anal intercourse. Even if you’re a monogamous couple, wearing a condom will help keep things safe for everyone involved.

Going Slow

While having anal sex puts both parties involved at risk for bacteria exposure, it exposes the receiver of anal sex to injury in that area if the giving partner isn’t careful. When having anal sex, go slow and don’t try to have rough sex.

Use soft, long and slow strokes to avoid tearing or other types of injury there. If you’re the giving partner, and the receiver asks you to stop, STOP! Using care and caution is of the utmost importance when having anal sex.

Communication is Key

Make sure that you and your partner agree on how you’re going to proceed with anal sex. Talk to each other and make sure the lines of communication are always open.

If a situation arises, talk about it! When you’re done talking about it, make sure to talk some more! You put yourself at a higher risk of doing damage during anal sex if you and your partner aren’t in agreement about how it’s going to be handled.

While anal sex isn’t always dangerous every time you do it, it can be and should be regarded with care and caution. Don’t go into anal sex without speaking to your partner thoroughly before, during and after anal sex and don’t do it if it makes you uncomfortable.

Keeping everything clean is probably the most important aspect of making anal sex safe and fun, as is making sure you’re going slowly and your partner isn’t uncomfortable. If you’re cautious, anal sex can become a fun alternative to spice up your sex life!

Filed Under: Anal Sex Tagged With: anal sex, analingus, oral sex, safe sex

Does Masturbation Really Cause Blindness?

By paulcarlson

There are a great number of taboos on masturbation and there have been since almost the beginning of time. You might have heard that masturbation causes blindness or that masturbation makes your palms hairy.

While you might already know that these are old wives tales, it still might leave you with the question, “is masturbation right?” Whether it’s ‘right’ or not is something you need to decide for yourself, but masturbation isn’t unhealthy by any means.

Does masturbation really cause blindness? Are there any medical concerns with masturbation?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25Xtjbcuxdg[/youtube]

Where did the taboo come from?

In many cultures, the taboo on masturbation stems from religion. When some religions came about, they considered that “wasting the seed” was a sin and therefore men shouldn’t masturbate.

The only approved sexual stimulation was sexual intercourse in order to procreate. At that point in the world, there were very few people and more people were needed to make tribes and different religious sects stronger and more profitable.

Masturbation was considered ‘wrong’ because instead of making a new person for the religion or tribe, you were . . . well, ‘wasting’ the seed.

Unfortunately, this taboo has been carried across decades and while there is no longer the issue of not having enough people around, in those religions and cultures masturbation is still looked down upon and considered a sin.

How do I know if it’s wrong for me?

While statistics show that the majority of men (and many women) masturbate, some people still feel that it’s wrong. Really think about your morals and your beliefs and whether masturbation makes you feel bad or not. If you find yourself feeling guilty afterwards, then by all means feel free to curtail your masturbation until it suits you.

Chances are though, you’re in the majority of people who enjoy masturbation and feel that there’s nothing wrong with it. Don’t let anyone try to impose their belief system on you. If you enjoy masturbation and feel that there’s nothing wrong with it, enjoy!

Will it hurt me?

Masturbation isn’t going to cause you anything but soreness and that’s only if you end up masturbating too much. You might get a little raw and if you do, you can stop masturbating for awhile and it will go away.  Masturbating using lotions or lubricants can keep you from experiencing any rawness or dryness of the skin in that area.

Masturbation won’t cause headaches, blindness or even hairy palms and you won’t run out of sperm either. Your body will simply produce more. Masturbation can even be considered healthy, as it can add stimulation to both men’s and women’s sex lives.

When can I masturbate?

There’s the key – finding the appropriate time for masturbation. If your partner dislikes your masturbation habits, make sure to do it away from them or when they’re not home. Don’t masturbate out in public and certainly don’t do it with someone who is not a consenting adult. Masturbation is mostly done alone in the privacy of your own home.

While some cultures and religions still feel that masturbation is wrong, many more are beginning to accept it as health studies show that it’s a completely safe and even healthy activity. Whatever you choose to do, make sure it’s what makes you comfortable.

If you enjoy masturbation like most people, just find an appropriate time and place to enjoy yourself. You can even masturbate with your partner to enhance your sex life!

Filed Under: Masturbation Tagged With: ejaculation, how to masturbate, masturbation, sex myths, sex tips

Do You Know The #1 Secret To A Truly Happy Relationship?

By paulcarlson

It’s a question that just about everyone has asked at least at one point or another in their lives.

What is the secret to long term, happy relationships? Is there even a secret?

While there is no tried and true formula that you can follow to the letter to ensure you have a happy relationship for years to come, there are a few things you can do to make your relationship easier and more fulfilling.

What is the secret to long term happy relationships?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4APs1XqsQg[/youtube]

Accepting your partner.

When it boils down to it, a happy relationship is between two people that love each other. While everyone’s definition of love differs from person to person, there is one thing that seems to be a thread running through every relationship – acceptance.

When you truly love someone, you accept them for who they are. You can’t change a person, and if you go into a relationship thinking that later on down the road you’ll try to change one thing or another about them, the relationship won’t last very long.

The first step to a truly happy and fulfilling long term relationship is learning to accept your partner and love them, even in spite of their unsavory qualities. This isn’t something that happens right away, so give yourself enough time and be patient with yourself. Talk openly with your partner about how you’re learning to accept them for who they are no matter what, and you’d like them to do the same for you.

Getting out of the judgmental state of mind.

More often than not, when our partners do something to upset us, we end up being judgmental. We pass off judgment to them as though they’ve done something “wrong” and we’re the right ones in the situation.

While you and your partner are likely to always have disagreements, being critical is something that doesn’t have to happen, and when it does it’s going to take a toll on your relationship and hurt one or both partners’ feelings.

When your partner does something to upset you, bring it up exactly like that. Don’t say they’ve done something “wrong” or be critical. Simply say that it’s something you don’t really jive with. By not being critical, you become more accepting and loving of your partner and they become more willing to be sensitive of your needs.

Relationships are give and take situations. If one partner is giving more and the other is simply taking and taking, the relationship isn’t going to last too long.

The best thing you can do is be open, honest and accepting of your partner. You and your partner are in this together, as a team!

If you are constantly pitting against each other, it isn’t really a team is it? Work together to find common ground where you and your partner can both function in the relationship and be satisfied and happy with it. If you truly love your partner and your partner truly loves you, many of these things will fall into place and become second nature to both of you.

While living together and staying together for many years takes lots of hard work and understanding, once you and your partner have the right mindset, you can begin unlocking the secrets to staying together and staying happy for the long haul!

Filed Under: Relationship Advice Tagged With: dating, fighting, love, marriage

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