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How To Approach Men & Take Control Of Your Dating Life

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Approach men instead of waiting for them to come up to you, and you can start taking over your dating life! Forget about being single for good!

Modern tradition implies that guys should make the first move. But what should we do if we see a guy that we think is cute and he’s not coming up to us? This is probably a very familiar situation for any woman. You’re in a bar or a nightclub and you a guy that you think is really cute. He’s standing by the bar or he is surrounded by his friends and he keeps looking over at you, but he’s not coming over. Most women don’t want to go after a guy because they think it makes them seem desperate. The fact of the matter is that most guys really appreciate a woman that approaches them. This shows confidence and can be very attractive. Here is a short guide on how to approach men.

Have A Reason

One of the pit falls that a lot of women fall into to their reasoning for approaching a guy. Most guys have some kind of routine that they use when they’re approaching women and so should you. Take notice of something around him or a piece of clothing that he’s wearing. If a guy is too shy to approach you, he will surely open up once you introduce yourself. He wants a reason to talk to you, but he’s probably just not that great with approaching women. When you walk up to him, have something to say and then let him take control of the situation. When you approach men, it is not as hard when you have something to say.

Sit Down

One of the best ways to alleviate any awkwardness is to sit down next to him if he’s at the bar. This implies that you are interested, but it creates a time constraint because you might just need a drink. When you approach men, sitting down can get the ball rolling very quickly. Simply sitting down and facing forward will show that you’re not desperate. After about 2 seconds, turn to him and say, “Hey, how are you?” or something simple. This gets a conversation started pretty easily.

Be Playful

When you are approaching men, the number one thing that you need to remember is to be playful and flirtatious. Make fun of something about him that won’t hurt his feelings. His shirt, his pants and his shoes are really easy to make fun of without hurting his ego. If you take it too far he’s going to walk away. If you are playful, he will play along and probably get you laughing. Approaching men is about having confidence. Allowing him to make fun of you a little bit will show that you’re confident enough to take a little jab.

Ask Him Questions

When you approach men, it is essential that you ask questions. When you ask questions you can get a feel for who he is as a person. Asking what he does, what he likes to do in his spare time and his age are just the tip of the iceberg. Get a little deeper so you can know if he’s worth giving your phone number to. Men like direct women and since you have already approached him he will probably ask for your number. If you don’t like the guy, don’t give him a fake number. Explain that you don’t think you’re a good match.

Ask For His Number

It’s pretty traditional for a guy to ask a girl for her number. If you really like the guy, ask for his. When a girl gives a guy her number, the guy wonders if she will actually pick up the phone or if the number is actually real. If you really like the guy, get his number and tell him you’re going to call. If you tell him that you’re going to call, then call. Guys love girls who follow up with what they say they’re going to do. More than likely, he will probably think that you just don’t want to give him your number. But when you do call he will respect you even more for it. Guys don’t want girls who play games.

When you approach men, it can be a great ego booster. Waiting around in a bar or a nightclub for somebody to walk up and talk to you can be disappointing. If you’re the kind of girl who has to beat the losers off with a stick, toss tradition and start approaching guys yourself. Once you meet a guy that you like your confidence will skyrocket and you’ll be well on your way to finding somebody to be happy with on your terms.

Tips For Recovering From A Long Term Break Up

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Breaking up after a long-term relationship can be devastating. If you have been with somebody for two years or more, it’s easy to associate her with your self-image. When you break up it’s hard to imagine going forth and finding somebody else. You might feel lost and shattered by the break up, but there are things that you can do to get back some semblance of your life again. Over time, the hurt will dwindle and it’s important to realize that you will find somebody else who can make you happy again. Here are a few suggestions to get your mind off of the break up and put you back on track.

Clean Your House

Cleaning your house can be one of the best ways to get over a break up. Take everything that the person gave you and put it in a closet. Don’t throw it away because you might need it some day. Pictures and other gifts that your ex-girlfriend gave you can bring back memories and make you feel even worse. Put them out of sight so that you aren’t thinking about the break up every time that you walk into your living room. You might feel like you’re betraying her for some reason by removing pictures or placing other things she gave you in a closet, but this will pass.

Update Your Facebook

Remove here from your Facebook account and set the “In A Relationship” setting to “Single.” You can’t do this fast enough after a break up has occurred. One of the reasons that you must do this immediately is because you could still get updates from her account every time that you log in. This can be a quick stab to the eye with a quick click of the mouse. Removing her Facebook doesn’t have to be malicious, but it’s better to do it to her first than have her do it to you.

Get Out

Sitting around the house and wallowing in your sorrows is only going to make you feel worse. Get out of the house and hang around with friends. Going through a break up alone will extend the healing process. Get out of the house and go to a friend’s house or spend time with your family. Friends and family will be considerate of what you’re going through. They can give you a shoulder to cry on and perspective on why the break up happened.

Consider Idealization

One of the biggest problems with a break up is that over time we can idealize the relationship. We idealize the good parts and tend to forget why the relationship failed in the first place. Instead of thinking about trips that you took together or holidays, think about all of the problems that you had. This will help you realize that she wasn’t right for you. Look forward to a future where you won’t have all of the problems that you did with her and you will gain a little perspective on why you broke up.

Take Up A Hobby

A great way to get over a break up is to put all of the energy that you had in your previous relationship into a hobby. Taking up a sport or focusing on your work is a good way to have goals. When you implement goals into your life, you will be able to spend more time on obtaining them. Team sports can work really well because they get you out of the house and around other people.

Set A Timeline

Set up a timeline for when you want to go on another date. We all need a cooling period after a break up, but you also need to get back into the saddle when you feel comfortable. Setting up a timeline will allow you to grieve for the previous relationship, but also puts you on track to start seeing other people. If your relationship was over two years, you could need up to 5 months to really be over it. If you reach the end of your timeline and you’re still not ready to start seeing somebody, give yourself more time. This is not a setback; it’s simply an extension.

Don’t Do A Comparison

Don’t compare new girls in your life to your ex-girlfriend. You broke up with your ex so she wasn’t good enough for you. There were problems with that relationship and it’s over now. Just because your ex hurt you doesn’t mean that another girl will. Have a fresh perspective on new girls and give them the trust and respect that they deserve. Don’t let your guard down completely, but you don’t want to have somebody paying for the mistakes that an ex made.

A Woman’s Guide To Writing An Online Dating Profile

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Online dating the perfect solution for a woman who leads a busy life or has just moved to a new area. If you’re tired of spending your evenings alone and you’re willing to take the plunge into online dating, you need a great profile. There are a lot of guys online that could be an excellent match for you. The problem is that most women do not know how to write an online dating profile that will grab the attention of a man who will treat them right. Online dating can be a lot of fun and can give you a long list of viable candidates. But you want the guys to be right for you. Here is a woman’s guide on how to write a great online dating profile.

The Site

It all begins with what site you want to use. Do you want to go with a paid site or do you want to go with a free site? Each of these has their advantages and you should consider both when dating online. If you think you can handle all of the responses, you can use both of these for finding dates. Paid sites will typically have a better clientele than free sites. A guy who is willing to pay a monthly fee to find a girl should be established. However, there are more guys on free sites. Once you have written your profile, you can just copy it for both sites. This will give you a broader base and more dates.

The Picture

Choosing a picture can seem like a big ordeal, but there are just a few things that you need to keep in mind. Your main profile picture should not be with anybody else. The last thing you want is a guy to click on your profile thinking that you are your friend. Use the site’s picture tools to crop out friends or choose a picture that doesn’t have anybody else in it. Never use a fake picture. If you’re not confident enough in yourself to put up a real online dating profile, don’t put one up at all.

Why Would He Want To Date You?

We’ve all seen the profiles that say “I like hanging out with friends, going to the beach and spending time with family.” All right! Enough already! Who doesn’t like spending time with their friends and family? What girl doesn’t like the beach? These are non-statements. It’s like saying I like blue skies and wooden wood. You want to separate yourself from the rest of the girls on the site. Be specific. Do you play tennis? Are you an avid mountain biker? These are the kinds of details that guys want to read about. This will also weed out the guys that you’re not compatible with.

Crucial Info

What would a guy know about you after the first couple of dates? Would he know that you volunteer a local animal hospital or that you spend your time mentoring kids? There is a difference in online dating and reality dating. Online dating is all about comfort. You want a guy to think that he knows about 75% of your personality, interests and other aspects of your life just from the online dating profile. The more they know about you, the more you will to talk about when out on a date. In reality dating, you want to remain mysterious. Online dating is about putting yourself out there.

Deal-Breakers

Do you want to date a guy that is a couple inches taller than you? This is fine. Most women want a guy that is taller than them so they can wear heels. However, getting too picky about your deal-breakers can be a deal-breaker in itself. Saying that you don’t want to date a smoker or somebody that has kids is a preference that you might not want to budge on. This is okay. However, you don’t want to put that you only date guys with black hair and blue eyes that are only 6’3. Even if you do only want to date those guys, don’t put it on your profile. Just screen the guys that are emailing you. If you put this on your profile, the guys may think that you’re superficial.

Online dating can be a good way to meet new guys. But if your profile stinks or comes off as pretentious, you will be sitting at home on Friday nights snuggling with your DVR instead of a great guy. Follow these guidelines and wait for the dates to roll in.

How To Break Up Without Hurting Him

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A break up is tough, but sometimes it’s inevitable. Here’s how to break up with your man as nicely as possible – and avoid doing major damage.

We have all been there. You go out with a guy a couple of times and things are great for the first two dates. After the third date things are kind of bland and by the fourth date you know that this is not somebody that you want to be with. One of the most heartbreaking aspects of this scenario is the fact that he’s still into you. Knowing how to break up with him without hurting his feelings can be a weight off of your shoulders. When done properly, you might even still be able to maintain a friendship. Here are a few ways that you break up with him without hurting his feelings.

Nip It In The Bud

A lot of women feel like the man that they’re dating could come around so they try to stick it out. This is not something that should be recommended. Even if he is really nice, you need to break up as soon as you know that he’s not right for you. Doing it in the beginning will save him a lot of heartache in the end. Dragging the relationship out because you feel like you might grow to love him is selfish. Not breaking up with him is selfish also. By breaking up with you are doing him a favor.

Avoid Clichés

“It’s not you…it’s me” and “You’ll find somebody” are patronizing and he could get very offended. When a guy gets offended he get defensive. The last thing that you want is a defensive man that starts verbally attacking everything about you. Just explain to him that you think he’s a great man, but that he’s not right for you. This is an easy way to say that you’re not interested and there’s not much he can do about it. Since you haven’t been seeing him for very long, he shouldn’t make a big deal out of it.

Be Specific

Using vague statements like “I’m looking for something different” is not enough. When you tell him that he’s not right for you, explain why. Whether it be that you want a partner that wants kids and marriage or that you need someone that is a little more romantic, specifics are best for a break up. This gives him a clear reason of why you don’t want to continue the relationship. You don’t have to attack him or his personality, but make sure that he understands why you are breaking up.

Don’t Be Overly Apologetic

Only say “I’m sorry” once. You’re not taking his house away from him; you’re breaking up with him. Since you’ve only been out with the fella a few times his world isn’t going to pieces. Don’t act like you are the end all and that he’s never going to find another person. Just say, “I’m sorry that we didn’t work out” and leave it at that. When you start apologizing profusely he’s going to think that you’re obsessed with yourself. Statements like “It’s not like you’re Heidi Klum” might come up if you show an inflated ego.

Don’t Stick Around

One of the worst things that you can do is ask him out to dinner when you’re breaking up with him. Don’t put yourself into the situation of having an obligation after you deliver the news. Ask him out for a drink or go over to his house. If you ask him over to your home, you might have to ask him to leave. Always have an escape route. If you stick around he might just try to change your mind. Make it clear that you have no interest in seeing him again and then leave the situation.

Trying To Be Friends

If you have left the situation amicably then you’re in the minority. Most men do not want to be friends with girls they have dated in the past. However, if he wants to still be friends with you, give it a little distance. Remaining friends with a man after you have dated is an honorable thing to do, but if you agree to this you should definitely keep out of touch for a little while. When you break up with a guy, the game begins. A girl that breaks up with a guy is a challenge and men love challenges. Keep the phone calls, text messages and emails to a minimum. Checking up on him can make you seem like his mother and that’s not needed either. Let him live his life after the break up. Don’t let guilt get the best of you. Furthermore, you should be out living your own life instead of worrying about how he’s doing.

Am I Leading Him On?

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Dating advice is essential if you want be on the right track with a man. Could you be making him think there’s more between you than there really is?

Nobody likes to be lead on. Usually the man is the one that will lead a girl on, however, this can happen the other way around. Leading a fella on can hurt him and his ego. When a man is lead to believe that the relationship is something that he didn’t expect, he can get angry and you might never hear from him again. If you have been seeing a fella and you’re not too sure if you’re leading him on, there are a few ways that you figure it out. Here are some signs that you’re leading him on.

You Need Something

Some girls are experts in the damsel in distress role. The thing about this is that men love to swoop in and save a girl from any situation. If you need something, it’s okay to call a friend, but helping out a girl makes a man feel like a man. Make sure that he knows you just need help and that you aren’t interested in him.

He’s A Fallback

Some men have instant chemistry with you while others take time to warm up. If you find yourself calling him when you have nothing to do, he might see it as a sign that you’re interested. If you find yourself using him a fallback, you might want to cut it out. Men tend to make excuses for girls that call them every once in a while. They might think that you’re busy and this is the first chance that you’ve had to call them.

You Haven’t Talked About The Relationship

Relationships can rely on signals to progress. However, signals can be very confusing. If you haven’t talked about your relationship, you might be leading him on. When you talk about the relationship, you give it definition. Defining the relationship lays all of your cards out on the table and leaves no room for confusion.

Your Friends Tell You You’re Leading Him On

Sometimes it takes an outside viewpoint and some good dating advice to let you know what you’re doing. If your friends are telling you you’re leading him on, they probably have good reason. Whether it be that they detect something that you don’t or they have inside knowledge that the fella likes you, listen to your friends. In this case, it’s best to have the talk with him and let him know that you’re not interested.

You Pull Away When Things Get Real

Do you make excuses for why you can’t have dinner with him or go out on a real date? If so, you might be leading him on. When a fella offers to take you out to dinner or to a show, more than likely it’s not a friendly invite. He’s interested and he wants you to go with him. If you make up fake excuses on why can’t go with him, you’re obviously not interested. Tell him that you’re not interested to diffuse the situation.

You Only Call Him For Sex

This can actually be an extension of #5. If you’re sleeping with him and he asks you to spend more time with him out of the bedroom, you are definitely leading him on. Sex to a man is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. If the sex is good, he’s probably wondering how he can make the relationship official. Explain to him that you are not looking for anything serious and he might actually be more receptive to a friends with benefits situation.

You’re Too Flirtatious

Flirting is one thing, but if you’re flirting too much, you might be sending the wrong signals. It’s best to keep the flirting to a minimum. Touching a guy’s shoulder or telling him how attractive he is can lead him on quickly. Make sure that you’re not make flirtatious gestures when are around him. He might get the wrong idea and this could cause a rift between the two you.

Leading a guy on can be damaging to any relationship. If you are friends with a fella or you’re sleeping with him, it’s best to make sure that he’s knows what the relationship actually is. When a man likes you, he will bend over backward to do what is needed to make you his girlfriend. Because of this power that women have over men, they tend to take it too far without even realizing it. Take a careful inventory of how you interact with your male friends and listen to the people around you if they say that you could be leading him on.