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Conflict Resolution: How To Apologize Gracefully

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No matter how fantastic your relationship is, there are going to be times when you screw up. We’re only human and we all make mistakes. Whether you say something particularly mean in the heat of an argument, or do something far more serious, you’re going to have to apologize every now and again. As such, it’s pretty important to know how to apologize the right way.

Sometimes a simple “sorry” just doesn’t cut it. In fact, if you do a poor job of apologizing, you may find yourself getting into a whole new argument with your S.O. and you’ll never reach a conflict resolution. A truly good, genuine apology, however, can be like a well-executed set of stitches. Not only does it close the wound you’ve opened up, but it can minimize the chance of future emotional scarring.

Mean What You Say

Though it may seem obvious, one of the most important ways to apologize properly is to really mean it. If your apology is cast off carelessly just to end the fight at hand, it won’t be believable. An insincere apology will only rile your mate up, not satisfy their need for appeasement. Instead of hastily saying you’re sorry, hear your partner’s argument all the way through.

Then pause to consider what you’ve done wrong, and genuinely apologize for it. It can be hard to acknowledge your own wrong-doing, but if you really love your partner, you need to admit that you did something wrong and are really sorry about it. If you’re not really sorry, then you need to call a time out on the argument so you can think more by yourself.

Choose Your Words Carefully

When you actually go about apologizing, you really need to be careful with your word choice. Saying things like “I’m sorry you’re so angry” or “I’m sorry that you don’t approve of what I did” isn’t really apologizing and won’t do anything for actual conflict resolution. That’s just turning things around on your partner under the guise that you’re sorry. You need to actually take responsibility for your actions when you apologize (i.e. “I’m sorry that I forgot to mail our rent check this month”.)

You also need to be careful with your tone. Don’t yell your apology angrily, and don’t let sarcasm creep into your voice. Take a good, deep breath to calm yourself down before you start speaking. If your S.O. starts to interrupt you as you’re talking, just let them. After they’ve said their piece, start your apology again. If you keep your cool, even if your partner can’t, your apology will feel more genuine.

See Your Partner’s Point Of View

To further improve upon your apology, make sure to acknowledge that you understand where your partner is coming from. Simply stating that you get why they’re mad shows a level of empathy and regret that they’ll appreciate. If you really want to win them over, say that you want to discuss how to prevent a situation like this from happening again.

Ask for their advice and input. Inviting them to help figure out the best conflict resolution reminds them that you really do value their opinion and their role in your life. Part of apologizing is not only showing that you are truly sorry for what you’ve done, but also showing that you want to keep from repeating your mistakes in the future. A hug and a kiss once you’ve both calmed down never hurts, either!

How To Get Your Way In A Relationship

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A relationship is a give and take – isn’t it? Not always – here are some strategies that will help you get your way in a relationship when you need to.

No matter how in love you may be, there are going to be plenty of times in your relationship where you and your significant other disagree about something. Maybe you can’t decide on where to move to, or maybe you just can’t agree on what to have for dinner. Either way, it is possible to get your way without coming off like a self-centered jerk. You just have to make a calm, reasonable argument and know how to pick your battles.

How Important Is It?

If you find that you and your partner are at an impasse, the first thing to do is to decide how truly important it is that you get your way. How upset will you really be if you have to let your S.O. win on this particular topic? If you feel that you can live with it, you should go ahead and let your partner win. In doing so, you’ll not only end the debating, but you’ll also give yourself bargaining power in future disagreements.

If you agree to move into your boyfriend or girlfriend’s apartment instead of having them move into your place, you may find that you have the upper hand when it comes to choosing your next place of residence.

On the other hand, if you decide that you really want to get your way on the matter at hand, you may have to suggest that you’ll let your significant other make the call next time. Either way, ensuring that neither of you always gets their way is a compromise that can pay off. It makes sure that you don’t look too self involved when it is your turn to get your way.

Solidify Your Argument

When you are determined to come out on top, make sure that you have a truly solid argument. A lawyer wouldn’t show up to court without having done their research, and you shouldn’t show up to a decision-making debate empty handed, either.

Let’s say you get a job offer that would require you both to move, and you know your partner likes where you currently live. You need to have a well-considered list of positives when the time comes to discuss the issue.

Moreover, your argument can’t just be about how the move would be good for you. You should be able to point out how it will benefit you, how it will benefit your mate, and how it will benefit you as a couple. Don’t gloss over things or fib about how great it will be, but do look for a way to sell your S.O. on it.

You might start by admitting that this new city will be more expensive than where you currently live, but that the raise you’ll be getting and all of the added amenities will make it worthwhile. Perhaps your partner loves hiking, and you know that this new city is near a big national park.

Not only will these positive revelations make your partner feel better about moving, but demonstrating how much research you’ve put into the decision shows them how much you care about it. If you can make them see how important it is to you, your S.O. will be more likely to let you have your way.

It’s also key that you make them feel included in the decision, even if the outcome does end up in your favor. Never make a big decision without consulting your partner, even if you suspect that it will take some effort to win them over.

Stay Calm And Don’t Be Critical

Ultimately, if you can remain calm and congenial while making a clear, solid argument, you’ll drastically increase your odds of getting your way. Promising to compromise on future issues or offering a trade off can help.

Most importantly, make sure that your significant other knows that you really do care about their opinion in the matter, and they are sure to show you the same respect.

How To Reveal A Deep, Dark Secret To Your Partner

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A relationship involves honesty and trust – so what do you do if you have a secret that you should share with your S.O.? We all have secrets, some of which are significantly less pleasant than others. Maintaining trust and honesty is probably the best relationship advice you’ll ever get. As a result, there may come a time wherein you have to come clean about a dark secret or two to your S.O.

It won’t be an easy thing to do, and you may be tempted to chicken out. That’s when you have to remember that your significant other will be far angrier about your secret if they find out about it from someone other than you. What many people fail to understand is that the act of hiding something is often as bad (or worse!) than the very thing you’re hiding. Keep that in mind and you’ll realize that you have to move forward with talking about your secret, no matter how difficult it will seem.

How To Make It Less Painful

There are, however, ways to make your big revelation less painful. First and foremost, never tell a dark secret in the heat of the moment. The time to tell your girlfriend that you have herpes isn’t in the middle of a hot and heavy make-out session. You need to tell her well before it gets to that point, and you need to do it in a manner that befits the gravity of your news. Wait until you’re in private and let her know that you need to talk to her about something.

Then tell her the bad news and provide her with as much information as you possibly can. In the case of the STD revelation, be certain to fill her in on all the precautions you can take together, on any testing she might need to get (which you should offer to pay for), etc. She will likely be upset, but your diligence will show her that you will do everything you can to make the situation right. Be understanding if she’s freaked out and needs a breather.

Sooner Is Better Than Later

Getting the secret out sooner rather than later is generally a good bit of relationship advice. The longer it festers before you bring it to light, the angrier your girlfriend will be. Let’s say that your credit is less than desirable. Your boyfriend has proposed to you and you’re having a discussion about all the things you’ll need to do surrounding your impending marriage. Instead of waiting to talk about your poor credit score until after your wedding, bring it up now.

When he brings up the question of whether or not you should combine your finances, be honest about your debt. Tell him you want to work together with him to figure out the best solution possible. No one enjoys discussing financial problems with their significant other, but it’s an important talk to have. You could keep it a secret now, only to have it bite you in the rear later when you try to apply for a home loan together. When your spouse finds out you hid it from him for all that time, he’ll be far more upset with you.

Maintaining Control Over The Situation

Another reason that it’s important to tell your significant other your unpleasant secret as early as possible is that it gives you more control over how you break the news. It’s better to have a serious talk on a day when your lover is in a good mood than on one when they’re already upset about something else in their lives. If you have to come out with a secret at the last minute, you can’t control what kind of day your mate’s been having. You also might not have time to prepare appropriately before then.

That means that you won’t have any good news, like being able to list possible solutions, to talk about alongside the bad. Plus, the longer you put it off, the higher the chance that your lover will find out from someone else or through another channel, which just makes you look like a big, fat liar. Plan out how you’re going to do it and make sure you have as much control over the situation as possible. As a result, you’ll likely have an easier time with your discussion. Take this relationship advice and do anything you can to soften the blow for your significant other.

How To Compliment A Girl And Make Her Melt

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Romance goes a long way with a woman – a little effort can make a big difference. Complimenting a woman is one way to make her feel great about herself and closer to you. A simple phrase with a hint of romance can be enough to make a woman fall head over heels for you. Here’s how a compliment can sweep her off her feet – and into your arms!

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Women Love Romance

Almost every woman loves romance – they love to be sweet talked and told how beautiful they are or how much they mean to a guy. This is another one of those big “men are different than women” things – men don’t put as much stock into words themselves as women do. Words mean a lot to women and with the right words, you can have direct entry into a woman’s heart. If you say the right things, you’ll make a woman melt almost immediately!

Compliments To Use

When you compliment a woman, what you say goes directly into her brain and into her heart. She’ll remember what you said for weeks, months or even years and if it’s something really special, she’ll never forget it. Here are some great compliments to use when you want to make a woman swoon:

  • Start any sentence with “I love it when you….” Fill in the blank with something she does that you think is cute or that makes your life easier. This can be really effective if you know she goes out of her way to do something for you. Telling her you love this shows her that a) you noticed that she did it and b) that you appreciate it. That kind of compliment is golden!
  • “You make me….” Use this one to tell her about something she does to make your life better in some way. Women love to fix their guys – so tell her something that she’s done for you that makes things easier or better for you.
  • Compliment her in ways that make her feel like she’s the only woman in the world. Make her feel like she’s truly unique, special and there’s no one else in the world like her. Tell her why she’s perfect for you and how she’s absolutely irreplaceable.

Old Favorites

There are some sayings that have been around for awhile that still work – in fact, these phrases are probably what you’d consider to be a “hammer” in your compliment tool belt. Nothing new or fancy, but these phrases definitely do the trick.

  • Saying “I love you” is always in style. Of course, you want to make sure that you’re in that stage of your relationship before you bust out the L-word. If you just met that day, this probably isn’t appropriate to use.
  • Tell her that she’s beautiful. Use the word “beautiful” – you may think that “hot” equates to the same thing, but for a woman, it doesn’t. If you tell her that she’s “hot,” she’ll think you regard her as more of an object than a person. Tell her how breathtaking she looks instead.

Being Genuine Is Everything

Don’t just say empty words when you give a woman a compliment. She will see right through it before you even finish getting the sentence out of your mouth. Make sure that you mean what you say! Because women speak in the language of emotions, it’s important to attach your emotions to everything you say. Yes, you’re making yourself a little more vulnerable this way, but it’s exactly what is going to make the difference to your woman.

Pick up lines aren’t what you want to use to give your partner or a woman you like a genuine compliment. What you say needs to come directly from your heart – not memorized beforehand. When talking to a woman, don’t over-exaggerate. Be honest and put the real you out there.

Have A Positive Focus

When wooing a woman with romance, you want to make sure that what you’re saying has a positive focus. Stay focused on talking about the things you like about your woman, not the things that you don’t like.  A great way to be positive is to be kind and appreciative of the thinks you like about your partner about of the things she does for you to make your life better.

Actions do speak louder than words, so you also want to make sure that you’re doing kind things in addition to saying nice and sweet things to your woman. If you’re saying one thing but doing another, you’re only going to confuse or upset her. Here’s how to really show a woman that she’s important to you:

  • Spend time with her. If you’re on the phone, get off and talk to her instead.
  • Make eye contact with her. Show her you care about her through your eyes.
  • Show her that you’re grateful for her being in your life.
  • Show her that she’s important to you and you’re happy she’s there with you.

If you compliment a woman and show her that you really care, you’ll make her melt in no time!

How To Get Her To Fall In Love With You

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Love is something every man wants but doesn’t always know how to get. Women naturally want to give love – it’s hardwired into their DNA. They imagine what it would be like to fall head over heels for a guy since they were little girls! Every girl wants to be swept off her feet, so here’s how to get any woman to fall in love, almost instantly!

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Mars vs. Venus

Men and women are different in almost every single way, and how love is perceived is one of them. The way guys and gals feel about love itself is so different that most men usually can’t even fathom what goes through a woman’s head when she’s falling for a guy. It can be difficult for him to know what to say or do to get a woman to swoon but there are lots of easy ways you can increase the chances that she will be attracted to you and fall in love.

What Is Love, Anyway?

Take a step back and examine the idea of love in general. Most people would define it as a deeply intense emotional connection with another person. However, that is only partly true – there is another definition of the emotion that explains what love is and why it makes us feel the way we do.

Literally, love is a series of complex chemicals released from your brain into your body that can affect several things such as your mood, emotions and energy levels. When these chemicals are released, they create the positive feelings of being “in love.”

How Do Women Really Feel About It?

Women spend their entire lives getting ready for love – it’s one of the most important things to a woman and it’s completely woven into the messages that society sends to women. Girls think about it often even from a very young age – they think about the man they’re going to marry or what it might feel like when they finally do go head over heels for a guy.

To be successful in getting a woman to swoon over you, you have to understand that for a woman, love is extremely important. So get ready to stack the cards in your favor and do a few things to increase the chances that she will fall for you.

Make Nice With Your Girl’s Friends And Family

To some degree, a woman’s friends and family have to approve of you for her to be interested in being your partner for the long haul. If you’re a total jerk to her family members or her friends, or do things that the people who are important to your woman disapprove of, you’re just stacking the deck against yourself.

It’s very difficult for a woman to love a man who her family or friends dislike, so make it easier for her by being on your best behavior around people who matter to your woman.

Open Up And Be Emotional

It’s important to make sure you come across as a strong, happy guy with a lot of confidence, however, you also can’t be afraid to show emotion. Women speak in the language of emotions, so hiding yours or acting like you don’t care about hers isn’t going to get you very far at all.

Make sure you show your girl that her emotions are important to you and that you’re not afraid to show your emotions when you are together. Making yourself a little vulnerable to her will make it easier for her to have strong feelings towards you.

Get To Know Your Girl

If you really want to develop a deep bond with a woman, take some time to really get to know her and who she is. Show real and genuine interest in the things that she likes and ask questions about what passions she has and what drives her to do what she does.

Make a habit to actually listen when she’s talking to you and make mental notes about what is really and truly important to your woman. This will show her that you actually do care and the things that mean something to her mean something to you too.

Give Her The Best Sex Of Her Life

Women associate emotion with sex – it’s just part of who they are and how they feel about sex. When they experience an amazing orgasm, they’re more likely to feel strong emotions towards the person they had sex with. Make yourself that person by giving your girl the best sex she’s ever had!

Learn to be an incredible lover. Take some time to read up on how to give a woman a sheet soaking orgasm – don’t think that just because you’ve been having sex for a while that you know everything there is to know about how to please a woman. There’s probably a lot you don’t know – so read up on how to really give a woman pleasure and then practice on your partner.

Be the best she’s ever had! Make sure that she has an orgasm first and pay attention to her body language to determine whether you’re on the right track or not. She’ll let you know what she likes and doesn’t like by the way her body responds to your touches.

Remember To Give Her Space

Girls are complicated – they need to feel close to a guy but at the same time, they need enough space to still feel like they’re independent. Make sure your girl has a life outside of your relationship. Encourage your girl to spend time with her own friends and do things that are fun without you. Take the opportunity to spend some time with your own friends and show your girl that you’re strong, confident and independent too.

You want to get close to a woman – both physically and emotionally – to get her to fall in love, but you want to make sure that you’re not too clingy or needy and that you’re giving your girl plenty of space as well.

Love Yourself First

Remember that the best way to get love from other people is to love yourself first and be someone who other people will naturally love too. If you don’t accept yourself and see yourself as worthy of other people’s love, other people aren’t going to see you worthy of it either.

When you have that inner strength and confidence, it’s incredible how many people are drawn to you and attracted to you. People naturally want to be around others who are happy and who love themselves. If you truly love yourself and accept yourself for who you are and what you have to offer the world, others (including women) will fall in love with you too.