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What To Do If You Find Yourself In A Controlling Relationship

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Relationships are often all smiles and happiness in the beginning, but after spending some time together and becoming more comfortable with each other, your partner may start to get a little controlling. What do you do if your significant other is trying to change you or control the way you act or dress? Why are they doing it and what can you do about it?

Question: What do you in a controlling relationship? My girlfriend told me I had to change to fit her after over a month in a relationship. It’s like she wants me to get my pretty boy swagg on or its over!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXkgd7KrVDA[/youtube]

You May Have Acted Or Dressed Differently When You Started Dating

When people begin dating someone, they tend to want to make a good first impression. You may have worn nicer clothes, styled your hair, put on cologne or even acted a little differently when you first started dating your girlfriend, but now that the relationship has progressed, you have relaxed a little bit in how you put yourself together.

This is a natural development in relationships as two people get more comfortable with each other, but the caveat here is that your partner may have been more attracted to the person she met when you two began dating. This may become an issue in your relationship, because your girlfriend may feel like you’re not who you said you were. You can either step up and be that person, or you can move on and connect with someone else by showing her the real you.

She May Have Been More Forgiving Of You In The Beginning

Another thing that people do when they first start dating each other is they tend to be a little more forgiving of their partners’ faults and the things they do that are annoying or frustrating. You may be dressing and acting the same as you were in the beginning of the relationship, but your girlfriend may have held her tongue about what she didn’t like about you, or she may not have noticed at all.

As she became more comfortable with you, she felt more comfortable telling you about the things you do that annoy her or bother her, such as the way you dress or put yourself together. Unfortunately though, unless you’re okay with hearing all about your faults all the time, you might be headed for a break up.

She May Have Thought Of You As A “Fixer Upper”

Women love to “fix” their men. It’s a fact of life. Your girlfriend may have started dating you with the idea that she would “fix” what she didn’t like about you to make you fit her idea of a “good boyfriend.” While this is something that many women do, it can definitely lead to relationship problems. It’s definitely not fair to you for your partner to go into the relationship thinking she can “fix you up” into someone she feels is appropriate for her lifestyle. Not cool!

You Deserve To Be Loved For Who You Are

No matter who you are, what you look like or how you act or dress, you deserved to be loved for who you are – quirks, faults and all. Don’t think that because a woman wants to control or change you that you have to go along with it. If you are comfortable and happy being who you are, find someone who will love that person as much as you love yourself.

That said, if your significant other is pointing out faults and flaws that need to be changed for you to be a better person – such as dealing with intense anger issues or drug or alcohol abuse – you may want to listen to what she has to say. Ultimately though, it’s your decision to change and better yourself and that can only happen when and if you’re ready.

Be Honest With Her

Whether you want to try to work the relationship out or simply want to move on, be honest with your partner about how you feel and why you feel the way you do. Be careful not to be critical of her, but let her know how much it hurts you to feel like she’s trying to turn you into someone you’re not.

Let your significant other know that you’re not going to change who you are for them and they need to accept you “as is” with all of your faults and quirks – because they have faults too! No one is perfect! If they’re not on board, it’s time to move on to someone who will love and accept you with no questions asked.

6 Valentine’s Day Sex Games That Don’t Break The Bank

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Valentine’s Day is all about having fun and spending time with your significant other – in the bedroom, of course! Instead of taking your partner out for dinner and a movie, try these sizzling sex games to ramp up your sex life and turn up the heat between you and your lover. These sex games prove that you don’t have to spend a lot of money to have super hot sex with your partner on Valentine’s Day – or any other day for that matter!

Cosmo’s Steamy Sex Games Kit

Cosmopolitan – a popular love and sex magazine – has created a one of a kind sex games kit that includes several different games to play with your partner on Valentine’s Day (or whichever day you choose). Try a sexy scavenger hunt, dirty truth or dare, daring dice or sexy tarot cards. There are literally a dozen different games to choose from, so you and your lover definitely won’t get bored any time soon. Printed on super colorful cards, for $10, Cosmo’s Steamy Sex Games Kit is something you just can’t pass up.

Pros: Inexpensive and you can use it over and over again

Cons: You’ll want to use it on more than just Valentine’s Day – but is that really a con?

Oral Sex Dice

Dice may seem played out when it comes to sex games, but Adam & Eve’s Oral Sex Dice will still help you turn up the heat in the bedroom with just a flick of your wrist this Valentine’s Day. Instead of just heading south of the border to give your partner some oral sex, throw these dice around and see where else you can put your mouth and tongue to titillate your lover. Great for couples or even threesomes or foursomes, they’re a super cheap (only $6!) way to make oral sex even steamier than before.

Pros: Super cheap way to spice up oral sex with your lover

Cons: These can only take you so far before you’ve exhausted all of the different options

Sex! Card Game

Another great yet inexpensive card style sex game can help you and your partner ramp up your sex life and get you both hungry for more. The Sex! Card Game focuses mostly on sex positions, but is color coded according to foreplay ideas, scorching hot sex positions and much more in between. Play fun games like Fortune Teller, Lover’s Libido or Ultimate Fantasy! Again, just $10 gets you the deck of cards and a night full of unlimited passion!

Pros: Inexpensive card games are an easy way to light the fire under your sexual imagination on Valentine’s Day

Cons: There really are a lot of card style sex games out there, isn’t there?

Silver Beaded Rope And Whip

Take your bondage fantasies to the next level with a gorgeous silver beaded rope and whip kit this Valentine’s Day. For only $20, you get the super fun silver beaded rope (which is great for experimenting with restraint in dozens of different sex positions), a matching whip to tease and titillate your partner, and a free love mask to blindfold your lover with and have your way with them. For the price, this is a really pretty kit that will be a great addition to your collection of sex toys.

Pros: A pretty beaded rope and sexy love mask may entice even the most conservative folks

Cons: The price is a little steep if you’re trying to go the cheap route

Sex Casino Game

For a totally different “spin” on sex games, try the Sex Casino Game from Adam & Eve. This cute little game clocks in at just $20 and includes a spinner, dice, sexual favor betting chips, scratch-off lotto tickets and a manual with 25 different sex games to try in the bedroom. You and your partner definitely won’t get bored with the Sex Casino Game, because there are so many different things to try. You’ll have fun staying up late and spinning, rolling and scratching to see who gets the biggest orgasm!

Pros: Different things to try all night long

Cons: Some of the items in this sex games kit are one time use only

Oral Sex Essentials Kit

Who doesn’t want a blowjob on Valentine’s Day? Make it hotter with the Oral Sex Essentials Kit, which includes desensitizing spray for deep throating, flavored lubes for both him and her, and BJ Blast Oral Sex Candy that pops and sizzles like Pop Rocks! At $15, you’re getting everything you need for an oral sex-fest that will make your partner squirm.

Pros: Lots of different items to try to see which you like best

Cons: If you want more stuff for her, try the Good Head Kit For Her too

Top 5 Best Sex Toys For Valentine’s Day

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Sex toys are a great gift for Valentine’s Day – they let your partner know that you want to do naughty things with them all night long! Picking the best one for your partner (or for both of you) doesn’t have to be hard – in fact, shopping for them can be as much fun as the sex itself! You and your lover can shop together or you can pick a special gift out for her to use alone or with you. Here are the top 5 best Valentine’s Day sex toys – choose one or more for a night full of passion and explosive orgasms!

Ben Wa Balls

Ben Wa balls make an excellent Valentine’s Day gift because it is something that will not only titillate you and your partner tonight, they can help make your sex life better in the long run too. Ben Wa balls are small ball-shaped sex toys that are inserted into the vagina and held there. This will exercise the kegel muscles (the muscles used to stop the flow of urine). They can enhance g-spot orgasms during oral sex and will help tighten a woman’s vaginal muscles for more powerful orgasms. With regular use, Ben Wa balls can make sex feel like the first time all over again! The weighted spheres are inexpensive and can be made out of a variety of different materials including glass or silicone. Some are available with vibration to make the experience extra special!

Glass Sex Toys

Glass sex toys and are beautiful works of art in their own right – and they make excellent Valentine’s day gifts for your lover to use alone or for you to use together as a couple. Many glass pieces don’t even look like sex toys at all – they could be easily mistaken for a gorgeous glass sculpture or a paperweight. Only you and your partner will know what it’s really being used for! The best part of using a glass piece is that it holds temperature really well. If you want to experiment with heat and cold during sex, glass is the way to go. They are also very easy to clean and last a long time because the material is hard, smooth and doesn’t break down easily over time.

Prostate Massage

What better day than Valentine’s Day to try something new? If you’ve never tried prostate massage (and you’re a guy) you’re in for a real treat. You have to get over the initial apprehension of anal play, but after you’ve gotten used to it, you can experience wilder, more explosive orgasms than you’ve ever had before. If this is your first time trying prostate massage, start with small anal sex toys and work your way up to the bigger ones. Always make sure that any anal sex toy that you use has a wide, flared base on the bottom (a ring also works well) to prevent it from getting lost in the anal cavity and garnering you a trip to the emergency room. If you’re nervous about trying prostate massage for the first time in front of a partner, try a toy that is easy to use on your own during masturbation. Then work your way up to doing it with your lover.

Sex Swings

Sex swings will allow you to get into tons of different sex positions quickly and easily, making sex this Valentine’s Day super hot! Sex swings allow you or your partner to get into the more difficult sex positions without straining your neck, back or legs and can be used for intercourse, anal sex and oral sex. If you have a lot of space (and a lot of money to spend) try the stand alone love swing – the swing is mounted on a large metal four-legged stand. If you live in a small home or apartment or want to save a little money, try the over-the-door sex swing instead.

Bondage Kits

If you want to try a little bondage, try using a pre-made bondage kit. Usually these come with paddles, fuzzy handcuffs, feather ticklers, blindfolds and the like. Some of them are even made with soft heart shaped paddles and heart pillows, making them a perfect Valentine’s Day gift! Surprise your partner with a bondage kit and tell her that you’re going to tie her up and have her way with her – after she has her way with you! A little light BDSM and bondage can go a long way in making it a night you and your lover are going to remember for a long time to come.

3 Hot Oral Sex Techniques To Use This Valentine’s Day

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Oral sex is the perfect sizzling hot Valentine’s Day gift. It lets your partner know that tonight, it’s all about her and her pleasure. Get ready to camp out down south and give her oral sex that will blow her mind and have her begging on her knees for more! Here are some tips you can use to go down on her that will keep her clawing at the sheets and screaming your name until she has an earth shattering orgasm!

Lick Slowly All Around Her Vagina

Instead of heading straight for her clitoris, use your tongue to explore every nook and cranny of her vagina. When giving her oral sex, don’t spare an inch! Make sure she’s clean and well groomed ahead of time and this should be an easy task. You can even use flavored lube to make your job even easier – and more enticing! Let your tongue brush lightly all over her vagina from top to bottom as you tease her and get her warmed up for the real thing. When you start to really get into it, form your tongue into a firm point and begin to lick and suck deeply. If you typically only lick her clitoris when going down on her, giving her this kind of oral sex on Valentine’s Day will make sure she never, ever forgets just how good you can be in bed!

Finger Her G-Spot And Give Her A Blended Orgasm

This is a great oral sex technique to try on Valentine’s Day, especially if your lover has never had a blended orgasm before. A blended orgasm is a mix between a g-spot orgasm and a clitoral orgasm, and can be one of the most powerful orgasms a woman can ever have. Learning how to give her a blended orgasm will not only make sex hotter tonight, it’s a technique you can use any time you really want to rock your partner’s world. Get her warmed up by licking her clitoris and priming her g-spot to be touched and fondled. Once she’s good and ready, slip your finger inside her vagina with your palm up and crook your finger in a “come hither” motion. You’ll be able to feel the g-spot easily (it’s much harder to do when she’s not completely aroused because it’s not engorged with blood and will feel like the rest of the vagina) and stimulating it is simple – just rub the g-spot back and forth or move your finger in circles. Switch back and forth between clitoris and g-spot stimulation until she’s begging you to bring her to climax. Then do both at the same time until she explodes! This may even allow her to experience female ejaculation if she’s really able to let go.

Take Your Time (And Make Noise)

One thing that women hate when it comes to oral sex is feeling like her man thinks its a chore to go down on her. If he doesn’t like it, she’s not going to like it. Or, she’ll pretend she likes it for a few minutes and really won’t get into it. Let her know that you love eating her out and giving her an orgasm with your mouth. Show her that you’re really enjoying it by looking up at her now and then while you’re doing it and acting as though you’re really into it. Don’t lean your head to one side and lick as though you’re bored with it and don’t want to be doing it. She’ll never reach orgasm that way and your efforts (however minimal they may be) will be wasted. Instead, let her know that you love having your face between her legs by acting like it’s the most delicious thing you’ve ever tasted (yes, this really works!) and making at least some noise. You don’t have to be totally fake about it when giving her oral sex, but playing it up a little bit and showing her that you really love licking her up and down can go a long way in rocking her world. Don’t rush her through oral sex either – take your time and if you’re tired, don’t let on. Let her think you could happily be down there forever.

By giving your lover amazing oral sex and taking her to the next level this Valentine’s Day, she’ll never forget how incredible you are in bed – and she’ll be wanting to have sex with you all the time! Don’t forget that after you give her great head, she’ll want to do the same for you too.

Valentine’s Day Checklist – What To Do (And What NOT To Do)

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Valentine’s Day is a day where you definitely want to have the right moves. When you’re in a relationship (or trying to woo someone new) on Valentine’s Day, you want to make sure not only that you don’t flub things up, but that you also leave a lasting impression. Here are some things to avoid this February 14th, as well as a few things that you want to make sure are on your to-do list for the big day.

Don’t Text Your Ex

You may be tempted to text your ex on Valentine’s Day, especially if you’re alone, but that is a huge Valentine’s Day mistake. If you’re single, you may be getting your hopes up only to get shot down if your ex is with someone else. Or, you may start a relationship up again that is doomed from the start because you and your ex are incompatible. If you are in a relationship with someone new, texting or calling your ex on February 14th will only make you feel bad when your new lover does something super sweet and amazing for you to show you that they care. If you get caught though, it can take matters from bad to worse and could possibly jeopardize your new relationship. Don’t take the chance – it’s so not worth it!

Your Boyfriend Isn’t A Mind Reader

Ladies, don’t expect your boyfriend or husband to know exactly what you want for Valentine’s Day. In fact, don’t even be surprised if he’s just not as into the whole flowers-hearts-cupid thing as you are. Because men aren’t hardwired to love Valentine’s Day or to know exactly what a woman wants for a gift, it’s perfectly okay and even encouraged to drop hints. We’re not necessarily talking about dropping hints that you want flowers or jewelry, but something more along the lines of letting him know things you think are romantic or special.

Consider Flowers Other Than Roses

Roses are very, very played out for Valentine’s Day. While they’re definitely a classic (especially if they’re red), they just aren’t going to give your lover the “wow” factor. Whether you have them delivered to her at work or surprise her with a bouquet on her doorstep, roses will only serve to show that you just can’t think of anything original. Try going with a zen-style planter with a tall pink orchid stem (bonus points because it’s a plant and won’t die right away like cut flowers will) or you can look for pink and white hydrangea blooms or tropical pink stargazer lilies. Red and pink tulips are also a fresh, creative choice for Valentine’s Day!

Don’t Break Up

Deciding that you want to break up with your partner on Valentine’s Day is just a low blow. Even if you simply cannot bear to be with them any longer, wait until at least the day after to break the news to your soon-to-be ex. You might want to consider faking sick or having to stay late at work so your significant other doesn’t end up spending a lot of money on you and end up regretting it later. Sure, you might be tempted to come out of the deal with a few nice things but a move like that will definitely earn you a bad reputation – not to mention, it’s definitely not the courteous, adult thing to do. Also, if you’ve been thinking of ending the relationship for awhile, consider doing it before Valentine’s Day, before your partner has had a chance to plan something big – and expensive. But if you haven’t made the decision by the 13th, you’ll have to stick it out until the 15th.

Make Sure You Say “I Love You” In A Unique Way

Don’t just buy your lover chocolate or flowers on Valentine’s Day. There are so many easy, cheap and amazing ideas out there that will help show your partner that you really do love them! From mowing the words “I love you” in the grass of your front lawn or dedicating a song to your significant lover on the radio, there are a thousand and more ways to make your partner feel super loved and super special this Valentine’s Day. Don’t settle for just a lame gift that doesn’t show you put any thought into it at all. The best gifts come from the heart and are actually very low cost – like stuffing balloons full of secret love messages or making them breakfast in bed with homemade orange juice and toast that says “I love you!”