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10 Signs He’s Using You

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Relationship advice is something you need to pay attention to if you suspect that your man is taking advantage of you. Is it true? Find out now!

Being used can be devastating to the ego and your self-esteem. If you’re in a relationship –whether budding or established and you thin that he might be taking advantage of you, you’re probably right. There are a lot of reasons that men use women. Sex is the one that most women think of, but there are others. Men cherish their self-image and having a great looking girl by their side is one of the biggest statements he can make while in public. A beautiful woman is a sign of success and power. This is a coveted feature of any man’s life, but he may only have superficial interest in you.

1. You Can Tell That He Doesn’t Really Care

Does he ask how your day was when you walk through the door? If he does, can you tell that he’s actually interested in what you did for the last 12 hours of your life? If you sense disinterest in your work, your family or your passions, he’s probably taking advantage of you. A guy that takes a genuine interest in all of these aspects is going to respect you and really care about what is going on.

2. He’s Uncompromising

When it comes to making a choice about dinner plans or going to see a movie, does he take an interest in what you want to do? If not, he’s definitely taking advantage of you or he’s a sociopath. Neither of these is good and you should probably move on. You want a man that is going to compromise with what you want and what he wants to do.

3. He’s Cold Out Of The Bedroom

If things are frigid unless you’re under the sheets, you can bet your bottom dollar that he’s wants you for sex. A man that is genuinely affectionate outside of the bedroom and in public can’t help but to show how much he cares about you. Ditch one that is only interested in a connection in the bedroom.

4. He Doesn’t Make You Feel Special

A guy that really cares about you is going to show that you’re the only girl on his mind. If you’re dating a fella that buys you generic gifts on your birthday or blows you off to spend time with his friends, he probably wants you as a backup plan. Get rid of him and get with one that will make you feel like the only girl he’s thinking about.

5. He’s Not Concerned With The Future

No man should ever talk about marriage within the first couple of months, but if your guy isn’t talking about taking trips or possible future plans, he’s probably taking advantage of you. Men that are genuinely interested in a long-term relationship will want to make the appropriate comments signaling this interest. If your man is not talking about the future, you need to ask him if he wants a long-term commitment.

6. He Doesn’t Text Or Call You Back

If you send a text to your guy, what is his typical response time? Does he apologize if he doesn’t respond in a timely manner? If he takes a day or two to get back to you, he’s probably taking advantage of you. Men that are interested won’t leave you hanging.

7. You’ve Only Been On One Date

This is a huge red flag. If the only date that you’ve gone on was the first date, you can be fairly sure that he’s just taking advantage of you. Even if you’re not sleeping with him, he probably just wants you as somebody to hang out with when he has nothing else to do. Traditionally, men want to wine and dine women so be on the lookout for a man that has no interest in taking you on a proper date.

8. He’s Disrespectful

A man should always treat a lady as a lady. If he is disrespectful to you, he just wants you until you hit the breaking point. No man should ever treat a woman as anything other than an equal. Remember this the next time he makes a disrespectful remark.

9. He Hasn’t Introduced You To His Family

If you have only been dating for a couple of weeks, you can let this one slide. But if you have been together for a couple of months and you still haven’t met his parents, there is something else going on. A man wants to have the approval of his parents. Dump him if he refuses to introduce you to his parents.

10. He Doesn’t Want To Meet Your Family

If he avoids meeting your family, this is another red flag. Meeting your family is a big deal. Looking your father in the eye while he inquires about his intentions with you is a staple of every relationship. If your guy refused to meet your family, it’s time to move on.

Relationship Advice: How Do I Know If I’ve Met “The One?”

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Relationship advice can tell you how to have a healthy partnership, but it won’t tell you if you’ve crossed paths with your soul made. So how do you know?

What She Said:

Ah, there’s nothing better than finding love – especially when it’s “the one.” Contrast and compare this list with your lover to find out if you’re on the way to “forever.”

  • You Agree On “The Big Four.” It’s important to be on the same page as you navigate your life together. Some of the biggest situations that can shake even the most solid couples include: whether or not to have kids, religion, finances and in-laws. Kids: do you both agree on whether or not to have them? Do you share similar views on spirituality? Do you share the same values about spending and saving money? What are your boundaries about each other’s families? It’s a surer sign for longevity if you’re in agreement on these big issues.
  • Attraction. Of course you’ve been attracted to other lovers, but there’s something extra special about this person. It’s indefinable, but you know it when you feel it. It’s that palpable, joyful sense that your bodies fit together like no one else before.
  • You’re Best Friends. As much as you’re having fun between the sheets, you also need to enjoy each other outside of the bedroom. When you’ve met “the one” you’ll share compatibility both in and out of the sack. You need the bond of deep friendship to carry you through the ups and downs – and you want someone who truly has your back.
  • You Love Each Other Unconditionally. The first heady months of romance are amazing – but you know you’re with “the one” when you embrace each other’s faults and stick around anyway. “The one” will love you when you’re sick or crabby – as much as he or she will when you’re presenting your best self.
  • There’s No Drama. We’ve all had those tumultuous relationships. They’re gut wrenching and often passionate – but they’re not built for the long haul. A relationship with “the one” will flow easily because you both know it’s right. Not to say there won’t be challenges – but the challenges won’t include tears of despair.

What He Said:

  • It’s More Than Just Sex. And more than making love, though you’re doing that too. The point is you like each other in and out of the sheets. The one is as much fun with their clothes on as off.
  • The Sex Is Really Good, Though. The sex should be electric. Sex includes flirting, foreplay, everything. You both should be really good in terms of sexual compatibility. If you’re kinky as hell and she’s straight vanilla, it’s not going to work. Sorry. She won’t be talked into S&M and/or swinging. Not so much. Or if she’s kinky and he’s not, still not doable. But if you’re both into S&M and swinging, that right there is a damn good time and a damn good level of compatibility.
  • You’ve Seen The “Real” Them, And You Don’t Want To Kill Them. If anything, not only should you really like who they are, all their nervous quirks and ticks should seem cute or hot or adorable to you. Granted, they will begin to drive you up the wall at some point, but that’s for later. Hopefully, much, much later.
  • You’re A Lot Alike. Opposites attract, but they rarely stay together in long term relationships. Sure, it’s natural for you to be good at things that your partner is bad at and vice versa, but if you’re a hardcore vegan and he’s Ted Nugent, how’s that going to work? Ted Nugent needed himself a gun toting, right wing, kill it and grill it type of woman and he found her. And they’re happier than pigs in mud.

Relationship Advice: Is It Too Soon To Move In Together?

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A relationship often progresses naturally from dating to moving in to living together and possibly eventually to marriage. When you meet someone, you start flirting and hitting it off, and then you go on a few dates together. Before long, you and the person you’re interested are in a relationship. Once you’re in the relationship, you may notice that you move from the beginning stages to sex to commitment before you really even know what is happening. It’s easy to move fast in a partnership when you’re with someone you really, really like. Countless happy couples met and fell in love quickly, but how do you know if your relationship is going too fast? How can you tell if sharing a house together is the next step, and how do you know if the timing is right?

I’m head over heels in love with my new boyfriend. We’ve only been together one month, but we both feel this is it. Is it too soon to move in together? Our sex life is amazing and we spend every night together anyway!

What She Said:

I’m going to be frank. I’d wait a bit to make sure what you’re feeling is love and not lust. I have no doubt that you’re blissfully happy with your new beau, but your experience is currently tangled with your raging hormones. If this is the real deal, what’s the harm in postponing a life-changing move?

Don’t get me wrong – I’m an optimist when it comes to love. I’ve fallen in love at first sight and it was amazing. I was with this man for over three years, so it definitely wasn’t a fluke. I knew in my heart (and a few other places) that he was the one – at least for that time.

Don’t Rush The Relationship

Of course your sex life is amazing – there’s a mutual attraction at work and things are new. Savor this time – it’s one of the best things life has to offer.

I’m sure you’ve been in relationships before, so you’re no doubt aware that this will fade a bit. And nothing makes the thrill of the new fade more quickly than getting familiar with the old. It’s exciting to strip off your clothes and tumble into bed – it’s another thing entirely to learn that your boyfriend never picks up after himself. The thing that makes the mess less annoying is a deep bond that develops over time.

If He’s The One, Take Your Time!

If this is it, why not enjoy dating to the hilt? Let your body tingle with anticipation on date night. Go a day or two without seeing each other while you still have some “single you” time. Let it build slowly with layers of shared experiences as you truly get to know each other. When moving day comes, it’ll be a confident decision and not a reaction to a situation.

What He Said:

Moving in after a month? What could possibly go wrong? Did my public education prepare me to count that high? No. Not so much.

It’s been a month. It’s been a month. Have I mentioned it’s been a month? Because it’s been a month. Is that sinking in yet? Because seriously. Seriously. It’s only been a month.

Your brain ain’t right. Because it’s been a month (sound familiar?) It’s filled with all kind of fun, narcotic like chemicals. You can’t make sense of things. You are not in a right frame of mind. You shouldn’t be allowed to drive, or operate heavy machinery, unless of course it’s a battery powered cock ring or Sybian.

Where’s The Fire?

It will take time for you to adjust to the great sex (or for it to die down, either one). If it is a great relationship and it is the one, why rush it? Where’s the fire? Are you in a race? Do you want to win a medal? Why are you trying to get so fast to some kind of imaginary destination. Slow down. You have nothing to gain by moving so fast and have everything to lose. Just enjoy the ride!

He Doesn’t Want To “Label” Us – What Does That Mean?

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Good relationship advice would be to go with the flow and let things develop naturally. But what do you do if your S.O. refuses to talk about it?

What does it mean when a guy says he isn’t seeing anyone else but isn’t ‘a labels guy?”

What She Said:

I’m guessing it means he wants to have his cake and eat it too. As played out as that old adage is, there’s a reason it’s still around. Without labels, your guy is freed from defining the relationship while still reaping the benefits of your company. The question you have to ask yourself is: Are you having fun and, if so, why do you care what it’s called?

One thing that’s crucial in this equation is time. How long have you been seeing each other? If you’ve only been hanging out a few weeks (or even a few months), back off from trying to define the terms. No one likes to be pushed and you’ll never see a guy run faster than if you try to pin him down. Men are attracted to women who have a sense of independence; needing to give a name to something doesn’t always reflect that trait.

On the other hand, if it’s been a prolonged amount of time and everything (other than the title) points towards the two of you being serious and exclusive, you deserve to know. You have the right to this information, both sexually and emotionally. If you’re in a committed relationship (i.e. monogamous), you can explore options other than condoms. A “title” also gives you the go ahead to release your heart and invest in your companion emotionally.

Follow your instincts. If you feel enough time has passed, broach the subject. If he’s willing to happily give you an answer, proceed. If a significant amount of time has passed and he still hems and haws, pick up a copy of He’s Just Not That Into You. You’ll figure out the rest from there!

What He Said:

Well, he could be a player who is into dating them and letting them go. Or maybe he’s not ready for a serious relationship and is trying to give you realistic expectations of where he’s at. Or maybe you seem a bit clingy or that you’re moving too fast to soon, as least as far as he’s concerned, and he might want to put the brakes on.

Then again, who the hell cares what it means. How am I supposed to know anyway? What am I? Oprah? Seriously, it doesn’t really matter what it means, because clearly you have a problem with it. It’s not sitting right with you for whatever reason. You’re clearly having a gut reaction on this one. So why aren’t you going with it? Why are you asking two people you don’t know?

Ask him straight up. Don’t let him give you anything other than a straight answer. Let him know that whatever the answer is is okay, but you do want to know where he’s at, no bullshit. And you have to mean that. He may think it’s a trick, so assure him it’s not. It may take some prying, but you will get the answer out of him. Evaluate it, and either move forward or don’t.

 

 

 

 

Relationship Advice: We Both Want To Live In Different Places!

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Good relationship advice is warranted if you and your partner don’t see eye to eye about where you live. Of course, for a good relationship where you and your partner are both happy, you pretty much have to live at least in the same town. Most couples in committed relationships prefer to live together. What should you do if you both want different things?

My live-in boyfriend and I are at odds over a seemingly small issue: we reside in a small town. I’m really bored, but my BF wants to stay. I don’t want to break up, but living where I don’t want to is beginning to feel like a big compromise.

What She Said:

What’s the big picture? How is the state of your relationship? Do you think he’s your soul mate? These are all really important questions you need to be asking yourself, the sooner the better.

If you’re serious about this guy and you see a future with him, maybe where you live isn’t as important as how you live. Perhaps a small town versus the big city isn’t as big of a deal when you have love. Look around at what your town has to offer. Does the slower pace allow you to focus on your hobbies? What’s the quality of life like day to day? Maybe you aren’t thrilled about where you live, but you can improve your experience regardless of residence.

The flip side: Are you marking time with someone you dig – for now? If so, it might be time to take a hard look at your relationship. You’ve got some big choices to make. The safety of companionship can be great – but if you’re passing up life for comfort, you’re doing a great disservice to yourself and your boyfriend.

There are tons of compromises in a long-term union. If you’ve asked all the hard questions and determined you want to stay with your BF then maybe it’s your turn to ask a difficult question of him: I’m willing to stay for you. Are you willing to move for me?

What He Said:

How is this not a deal breaker? If you want to go and he wants to stay, and you’re both set in your ways, then this is a situation that has been brought to a head (and not in a fun way). You either stay here and be miserable but still have your man, or you go off to the big city and you get to do your thing (though minus the boyfriend) and maybe you are more or less happy there.

I guess the real question here is why are you both so set in your ways on the issue? Why are you looking to leave? What is there that you can’t get where you are at? Is it a career opportunity, or is the grass simply greener?

While we’re on the subject of questions, why is he so deadest against going? Is it a family thing? A job? Is he a big fish in a small pond? There are certainly several valid reasons he might not want to go, but then again, it might not be a valid reason.

If all you need is love and he has you and he loves you, why wouldn’t he want to go? I know a woman who moved to L.A. to be an actress. Times were hard and she packed it in and went back to Texas, where she promptly met a guy and fell in love. When she confided in him that her dream was to be an actress, he insisted that they drop everything and move back to L.A. right after they got back from the honeymoon. That, my friends, is a stud.

Why isn’t your man doing that for you? That’s the real question, and the answer is far more important than which town you end up