Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for Sex & Intimacy / Foreplay

Foreplay: How To Undress A Woman

By

Foreplay is essential to great sex, but you don’t have to wait until your girl is naked to start. Here’s how to make GETTING her naked part of the foreplay!

By touching your partner during foreplay, you are telling your partner that you are interested in having sex. In fact, a recent study published in the Journal of Sex Research found that one hundred percent of the women polled feel that when their partner touches them, it is a sex-signaling mechanism. In other words, touching someone you care about is read by women as another way of asking, “Would you like to have sex?”

Try to casually touch your lover as much as possible without being clingy or needy. Merely let them know that you are interested, and you will drive the arousal levels sky high.

Undressing And Getting Ready

It really doesn’t matter how you take your partner’s clothes off; they can fly off in the heat of the moment, be stripped off as a tease, or peeled off gently and one by one. The point is that her clothes are coming off and that’s a good thing but some items are a bit harder to get off than others. Let’s look at some of these issues and how to work around them.

Should I Take Her Clothes Off?

Listen to your partner, both what she’s saying and her movements. Is she begging you to remove her clothes, or is she taking them off for you? Does she offer advice on how to remove certain bits and pieces, or does she look at you provocatively in anticipation? Pay attention to the nuances.

If you find yourself nervous and fumbling, slow things down even further. Rub the places that you want to remove the clothes, first, to warm up her skin and really sensitize her body to your touch. Or, kiss and nibble those same areas lightly before detaching whatever clothing you’re working on next. Trust me, the more time you take at this stage of the game, the more aroused she’ll get, and the more attentive and caring you’ll come across.

Should Everything Come Off?

A valid question, but one that probably is better answered in the heat of the moment. Some women are self-conscious and aren’t comfortable whipping off their clothes while with someone new, but it shouldn’t be too much of an issue if you’re going slow while tickling, lightly biting or being playful as you move around her body. Make her comfortable and anything is possible, but you will eventually need her panties to come off if you want to perform oral sex.

How Do I Get Her Bra Off?

Like the condom wrapper or dental dam, bra clasps are a tricky thing to master, especially when you’re excited and can’t wait. Try first undoing it with two hands (much easier), then move on to the one-handed technique with these tips:

  • Kiss her neck and tickle her with your breath; most women love this and can’t get enough of it. While you’re behind her, it’s relatively easy to see where her bra strap is, so you can grab it with two hands and remove it that way.
  • If you’re standing in front of her, give her a hug. Then, use both of your hands to grab her bra clasp, and pinch it together like you’re trying to open a chip bag. You’ll know you’ve got it because the bra will come off. (And as an aside, this technique works exceptionally well with only one hand too – a man I used to date could undo my bra with one hand in mere seconds whenever he hugged me hello. It just takes a bit of practice).

Erotic Massage: Creating A Soothing & Relaxing Environment

By

Erotic massage preps your girl for amazing orgasms – but she won’t be able to relax if the room you’re in isn’t right. Find out how to set up the perfect area.

Before you begin your erotic massage, it is very important that you prepare the room or location in which you will be performing the massage on your partner. Your ultimate goal will be to create a soothing and relaxing environment that encourages both romance and release of stress, anxiety, and inhibition.

The first and most important thing you will want to do when preparing for the massage is to schedule the massage during a time when you and your lady have will have a couple of hours of alone time together. You don’t even have to tell her what you’re up to. Just tell her you have a surprise for her a couple of days in advance, get your massage supplies ready, and be willing and able to perform when the time arrives.

Eliminate Interruptions

When performing a sensual and erotic massage, you will want to eliminate all possible interruptions. This includes things like turning both the phone and the answering machine off. The same goes for cell phones, pagers, and any other electronic devices that make noise or vibrate when some type of message is received.

Other possible distractions might include pets, like a cat or dog that may enter the room or whine, whimper, and scratch at the door. Watches that have alarms or beep to signal each hour can also pose as a distraction. And, of course, children!

It’s very important to keep in mind that when performing an erotic massage, your goal is to connect both physically and mentally with your partner. To achieve this, both you and your partner will need to be able to slip into a state of mind that requires intense focus and concentration. You will not want anything, not even the faintest beep of a watch or the sniffing of a dog’s nose under the door, breaking your concentration. So be sure to alleviate any interruptions that might keep you and your partner from having a relaxed and sensual environment.

Music & Sound

Nothing helps set the mood for a romance and peaceful environment like the sound of soft music. Music is also helpful in reducing background noises, such as children playing outside, cars driving by, and barking dogs.

When it comes to your choice of music, you will want to choose something that is slow and soft. The music should be relaxing.  Music that has added sounds of a soothing stream of water or ocean waves in the background can also be very soothing. There are many musical tracks made just for erotic massage. Not only are these musical tracks soft and relaxing, some of them are very sensual and seductive, so it never hurts to look into them.

Lighting

Lighting is also very important when it comes to creating a soothing and romantic environment for erotic massage. And what’s the most popular source of light that’s directly linked to romance? That’s right—candles!

When preparing your massage environment, turn off all electrical lighting and fill the room with the light from several candles. The soft warm glow and flickering of candlelight sets a romantic and seductive space. It will also help you convey the message that you are giving a sweet and pleasurable massage with several seductive experiences to look forward to.

Be sure to test out the lighting beforehand to ensure you achieve adequate lighting. When using candles, be sure to place them in areas where they can safely burn. Avoid placing them too close to curtains or near anything that could easily ignite from the constant heat, such as paper and fabric.

Massage Table Or Bed

Because your partner will be lying down for up to an hour or more, you will want to ensure the table or bed you create for her is soft and comfortable.

Although a bed can be very cozy, it can be difficult to maneuver around due to its large size. Many beds are also not high enough. As a result, if you use the bed you sleep  and have sex in to give your lady a massage, you could wind up having to hunch over most of the time, which can be very uncomfortable for your lower back. You might also have to get into the bed to perform the massage, which is not what you want to do, as it could create too much jostling around as you reposition yourself in an attempt to reach other areas of your partner’s body.

The ideal massage bed or table is one that elevates your partner to about the level of your waist and can be easily worked around while performing the massage. If you are like most people, you probably don’t have a massage table. However, you probably have a table, such as a dining table, from which you can create your own massage table. Again, be sure the massage table is warm and comfortable. You can test it out yourself first by lying down on it. If you find the surface is too hard, just add some more blankets—the thicker the better.

Massage Oil

Using oil during massage is very important. Not only will this help your hands to glide smoothly over your partner’s body, its scent, warmth, and sensation will add to the seductive nature of the massage itself. Picking the right type of oil is important.

  • Almond oil makes for a great massage oil. Although it’s a little higher in price than other oils, it’s worth every penny spent when using it for a home massage on your partner.
  • Sunflower, grape seed, safflower, sesame, peanut, coconut, and avocado oils make great massage oils. They can be easily found it most grocery stores.

To add to the sensuality of your massage oil, try adding a few drops of aromatherapy oil, such as chamomile or lavender.

Never use petroleum-based oils for massage (including baby oil). Although mineral oil is often touted as great oil for the body, many massage professionals don’t like the feel of it. It is also felt that plant-based oils are healthier for the body than mineral oils.

Be sure not to squirt the massage oil directly onto your partner. This is not romantic and you also risk the massage oil being too hot or cold if you don’t take the time to rub it in your hands first.

Last but not least, never apply the massage oils to your partner’s vagina. The breasts, of course, are fine, but avoid rubbing the massage around or inside the vagina. Before touching her vagina or inserting your fingers, you will want to wipe the oils from your hands. This means you will need to keep a warm, wet towel nearby for when the moment is right. Never wipe her with the towel, however, as this could kill the mood.

Genital Massage And Lube

If you need lubrication for the genitals during the massage, use a personal lubricant. Make sure you take time to keep it warm and out of sight prior to using it. An effective way to do this is to heat a damp hand towel in the microwave before the massage and then wrap the warm towel around the lubricant. You can then set it aside on a nearby table. When the time is right, you can use the damp towel to wipe the massage oil from your hands and replace it with the warm lubricant.

When it comes to using the massage oil, the key is to key it warm. The best way to do this is to heat the oil in a glass bowl or plastic squirt bottle in the microwave just prior to inviting your partner into the room for the massage. To keep the bowl or bottle of oil warm throughout the massage, wrap a warm towel around it that has been heated in the microwave or dryer.

Foreplay: Building Sexual Tension Through Touch

By

Foreplay is what makes having sex absolutely amazing! Without sexual tension, “doing it” can be boring and blah. Here’s how touching your partner can help.

When Lust Enters The Equation

When you first start seeing someone, the lust is uncontrollable. You can barely keep your hands off each other. There is hardly a moment when you’re not physically connected. Then a few years down the road, you hardly touch except to make love. Unbeknownst to you, this can prove to be detrimental to the relationship. Men don’t require much physical attention to feel close to their partners. Being allowed to put it in her warm place on a regular basis is enough to feel a strong bond. However, women react differently. They love to be touched and caressed. If not given enough physical contact outside the bedroom, they can begin to feel objectified and devalued. Men typically don’t understand this because they are not fully appreciative of what it is like to be a woman.

Women spend much of their lives fighting objectification. From the day she got boobs, men of all ages have been leering at her sexually. It’s a life-changing moment the first time a girl catches one of her dad’s best friends looking at her ass. When she is in a relationship, she does not want her partner to make her feel the way she did when she caught “Uncle Larry” checking her out.

It’s not too difficult to avoid coming across as Chester the Molester. You just need to learn to express some physical intimacy when you’re not in the sack. That doesn’t mean fondle her breasts while you’re sitting on the couch. It means employing other forms of touch into your relationship.

Hold Her Hand!

One of the greatest foreplay builders can be simple hand holding. Whether you’re walking down the street or sitting in a movie, grab her hand just to hold it, but not to put it on your crotch. It will make her feel warm and comforted. Don’t be afraid to kiss her fingers or stroke her palm. The sensations will increase her desire to touch you with more body parts.

Hug Her!

Another under-utilized foreplay tool is hugging. Wrapping her in a warm embrace, with no pretenses of poking her with your penis, makes her feel secure. Hold her while you chat about your day. Stroke her back, and give her little kisses on the nose. Gaze into her eyes for a long period of time. Studies have shown that prolonged eye contact is an intimacy builder, and intimacy is what she wants to feel with you.

Kiss Her!

Lastly, kiss her. Kiss her just to kiss her. If you can manage that without humping her leg, the emotional reward she feels with greatly outweigh the physical reward you get from sex – and the sexual tension will be unimaginable! Don’t just kiss her to humor her, really appreciate what she gets out of it. The more you bond physically outside the bedroom, the more she’s going to want to bond in the sack!

How Erotic Massage Will TRIPLE Your Partner’s Sexual Desire!

By

Erotic massage can be exactly what your lover needs if your life has dwindled. Find out how erotic massage can make your girl want it again!

When She Doesn’t “Want It” Anymore

One of the most common complaints among men in long-term relationships is their female partner’s lack of sexual desire. And no matter how many different attempts they make to sexually are one of the most common complaints among men in long-term relationships is their female partner’s lack of sexual desire. And no matter how many different attempts they make to sexually arouse their partners, more often than not, they find themselves having to go to bed at night without sex, along with feelings of frustration and rejection.

What a lot of men don’t understand is that a woman’s desire for sex is directly linked to how she feels about her partner and her relationship. If her needs are being met by her partner and she feels happy and emotionally connected to her partner, she will be more receptive to sex.

Sexual desire is part of a man’s chemical makeup. That is not the case for women. A man is almost automatically wired to desire sex. A woman, however, has to have a reason to desire lovemaking. While a man can feel instant arousal by the sight of his female partner showering naked, it usually takes a lot more for a woman to feel aroused. And this is exactly where erotic massage comes into play!

How Erotic Massage Can Help

Erotic massage can be quite rejuvenating both physically and sexually for both partners. This is due to the massage having the ability to influence our brain chemistry through the stimulation of our endocrine glands. During this stimulation, our glands produce more serotonin, DHEA, testosterone, and oxytocin—chemicals responsible for inducing sexual desire.

For women, the effects of an erotic massage are like a natural aphrodisiac. In addition to the stimulation of hormones linked to sexual desire, the massage also increases blood circulation. As the hormones begin to flood into her enhanced blood stream, she becomes sexually aroused and her desire for sex increases. Erotic massage has also been proven to enhance orgasms in women. One scientific study conducted by the University of California San Francisco found that women given a 15-minute Swedish massage experienced increased levels of oxytocin—a hormone that is released during climax. So not only does her desire for sex increase, she’ll also be more likely to have an orgasm.

Erotic massage can also reduce anxiety about sexual performance in both men and women. Preliminary findings of a study at the Touch Research Institute showed that couples that massaged each other had lower levels of sexual performance anxiety. They also reported increased physical intimacy (Hernandez, 2000). With reduced anxiety and increased affection and intimacy, many couples’ sex lives are rejuvenated by introducing sensual and erotic massage into their relationships.ouse their partners, more often than not, they find themselves having to go to bed at night without sex, along with feelings of frustration and rejection.

Foreplay Mistakes That Will KILL Your Sex Life (And How To Fix Them!)

By

Foreplay is an essential part of sex and if you make any of these blunders, you could really do damage to your sex life! Here’s what NOT to do!

Many men slip up during an intimate foreplay with their women. These are three common mistakes that men make when initiating this prelude to sex.

Problem #1 – Foregoing The Kiss

You should prolong the kiss instead! It doesn’t have to be the usual lip-locking. Women actually enjoy it when their men give tender kisses, long strokes of the tongue, and loving bites on their neck and shoulders.

Problem #2 – Paying Most Of Your Attention To The Breasts

Women are uncomfortable when men pay too much attention to their bosoms. Of course, women love it when their partners do incredible things with their breasts. But, they still prefer that their partners adore EVERY detail on their bodies.

Problem #3 – Hurrying Through Foreplay

This is a big no-no. Always remember that foreplay should be done in the smoothest and most comfortable manner possible. Women love it when their men spend time in exploring every sensitive hot spots on the female body. At times, women are the ones who dictate when their men should proceed. However, there are moments when women allow their men to follow their own plans when pleasuring them. But you should not advance towards her inner thigh if she is not yet fully prepared for it. It can be quite unpleasant for women when they are not totally in the mood for the actual sexual intercourse.

What else can you do to give her phenomenal foreplay – one that will set her up for a powerful series of orgasms later? Well, the following tips will come in handy for you!

Tip #1 – Take Pleasure In What You’re Doing

You must be having fun during foreplay in order to become the best in what you are doing. Women can actually tell when their partners are not in the mood for sex even with the bits of action during the prelude. A man’s satisfaction in the sexual overture is a big factor in turning on a woman. Yes, it all begins in the mind! So make sure that you have the appropriate outlook when it comes to the foreplay and the main act.

Tip #2 – Open Communication

If you do not know what to do, then just ASK her. For example, ask if she wants kisses or those titillating nibbles on her skin and if she prefers gentle fondling to wild grasps. In return, be sure that you are ready to give her anything that she asks of you!

Tip #3 – Dirty Talking

Most guys do not know how effective dirty talking can be during foreplay. You may not know this but women CAN get highly aroused even with just words, especially those that depict what you plan to do to them in bed. Aside from dirty talking, try speaking to her of your unadulterated appreciation of her whole being, her beauty, and your contentment on having her all to yourself!

Tip #4 – Be Smooth!

Wait for her to tell you that she is ready to move forward. Let the whole act blend smoothly into sexual intercourse. Do not skip the “appetizer” and head straight for the “main course.” Always be gracious during the prelude to intercourse!

Let foreplay lead both of you into amazing sex. Don’t skimp on it. Apply the above tips and spice things up in your bedroom tonight!