Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for Sex & Intimacy / Foreplay

Striptease Tips: How To Give Him A Lap Dance He Won’t EVER Forget!

By

A striptease can be a super hot gift to give to your guy. Men are almost solely visual creatures and by taking advantage of this, you can really kick your sex life up a notch and get your fella lusting after you like never before. Learn how to give him a lap dance that he will think about for a LONG time!

Song Choice

Song choice is actually very important when it comes to doing a striptease. You want to choose a song that sounds sexy and makes you think of sex as soon as you hear it, but also one that has a beat that works well with your current dancing skills. If the beat is too fast and you’re not experienced at the art of lap dance, you’re going to look funny doing it. Similarly, if you choose something too slow, you may end up feeling awkward when you end up with several pauses during the striptease. Listen to several songs before you make your selection, and make sure it’s a song that makes you feel sexy. If it doesn’t, you won’t look sexy doing it.

Outfit Choice

Although you’ll definitely be taking your clothes off (it’s a striptease, duh), your outfit choice for the lap dance is also important. You want to choose lingerie that looks good on you, no matter what body type you have. Accentuate the parts of your body that you and your man love (like a killer rack if you’ve got one) and hide the parts you’re shy about – a camisole teddy can hide your tummy if that’s your trouble area, or a pair of sexy stiletto “F-Me” boots will draw his attention away from your thighs.

You may think that perfecting your moves is more important than your outfit choice when it comes to giving a lap dance, but quite the opposite is true. You could actually have quite awkward moves, but if you’re wearing something that looks just right on you and accentuates the good and hides the flaws, you’re going to look a hell of a lot less like you’re dancing like a chicken with your head cut off. Your outfit also plays into your confidence – if you KNOW you look downright delectable, you’re going to feel that way. And you’re moves will be sexier during your striptease without you even having to try.

Watch YouTube Videos

There are a ton of YouTube videos that will show you how to do a striptease or a lap dance and actually watching what to do can be a lot more helpful than reading about standing “X” amount of centimeters from your guy and doing clockwise and counterclockwise hip grinds at a 90 degree angle. A lap dance shouldn’t be that technical! So do a little searching on YouTube and watch how other girls are doing it. You may find some striptease videos made by professionals, but you’ll find a lot more lap dance videos just made by girls who want to show off the goods. Don’t immediately discount these videos! Sure, you may just be watching some chick get her striptease on for her webcam, but some of those girls have some pretty killer moves. Just sayin’.

Practice! (And Consider Recording Yourself Or At Least Watching In A Mirror)

If your beau is away from the home at all, take advantage of ANY time you have alone to practice your moves. Practice makes perfect, and you’ll feel a LOT more comfortable doing a lap dance if you’ve done it by yourself several times first. It may feel awkward to dance for no one, but if you do your striptease for the very first time in front of your partner, you’re going to have way too much pressure on you – and it will most likely turn out to be a big FLOP.

Practice in front of the mirror, so you can actually see what you’re doing. Perhaps a particular move you do looks fab, but you just need to tighten your abs a little bit during that move to take it to the next level and make yourself look even hotter – or maybe you feel great doing a particular move, but it doesn’t translate well when you’re actually watching it. You would never know these things if you didn’t watch your own striptease! Professional exotic dancers do it all the time, and you need to as well. Consider filming yourself too and playing it back. The more you practice your lap dance, the more comfortable you’ll get doing it – and the HOTTER you’ll look when you actually DO it for your lover. If you have enough time to practice and perfect your striptease, your beau will be COMPLETELY surprised at how much you look and act like a PRO!

Grab Your Junk

Don’t be afraid to grab your breasts and squeeze or jiggle them, smack your own ass or even let your hand slip beneath your panties. Touch yourself the way you want him to touch you – but just like in a strip club, he’s not allowed to touch you. Inform him that the rules of the “club” are that the dancers are never to be touched, so he must only watch. Then, grab your own stuff, manhandle yourself, smack your ass, lick your own nipples (if you can) and drive him CRAZY by doing to yourself everything he wishes he could do to you! This is especially helpful if the actual “dancing” part is something you’re not that great at.

Have Confidence

More so than any “move” or “technique” you could do during a striptease, your confidence is what will make your man’s jaw drop. In a line of girls, you could be the WORST dancer, but if you’re confident enough to show off your stuff, you’re going to look way better than the girls who can actually dance but are too chicken to make eye contact. Besides, you’re not going to be dancing in front of your guy with a bunch of other girls. He’s going to be watching YOU and you only.

Make him feel like you’ve got eyes only for him by looking deep into his eyes as you touch your body. Strut your stuff! You’ve practiced, you’re wearing a killer outfit (you probably should do hair and makeup too – some guys dig a dolled up gal and some don’t, but often doing hair and makeup will make you feel even more like a bombshell) and the song you picked just oozes sex. Get it girl, and don’t stop until his eyes look like they’re going to pop out of his head!

9 Turn Ons You Haven’t Tried – But Should!

By

Foreplay doesn’t just start in the bedroom. You can use foreplay anytime, whether it’s in the morning before he leaves for work (so he’s thinking about you all day) or just here and there to entice him out of the blue. Here are nine tips you can use anytime that you probably haven’t tried – and they’ll have your man begging for sex!

Follow Him Into The Shower – With A White T-Shirt On

The wet t-shirt is almost every man’s sex fantasy, but surprisingly enough, many women have never thought about throwing on a white t-shirt and stepping into the shower. However, this simple move will have your man hard in seconds and he probably won’t be able to keep his hands off you. Next time your man heads for the shower, give him a few minutes to get started and then surprise him by stepping in the shower with him, while wearing a white t-shirt. Thumbs up for shower sex!

Flash Him Out Of The Blue

Guys like to see nudity anytime and anywhere. Surprise him before he goes to work (or when he comes home, or in the car, or at dinner…you get the picture) by flashing him your breasts or even your butt. Do it quickly when he’s least expecting it, then go on about your business as though nothing happened. He’ll be thinking about it all day, or at least until he can’t stand it anymore and rips your clothes off!

Drink A Beer Before Making Out

Most girls pick something light or fruity when drinking, like a margarita or a cosmopolitan. He probably doesn’t mind, because he’s just looking forward to some hot sex once your inhibitions are down a little after a drink or two. But next time, surprise him and get a beer. Almost every guy appreciates a girl that can enjoy a good beer, especially if she has good taste in beer. Plan on a super hot make out session after you down your beer. The taste and smell it on your breath will be especially naughty.

Get A Pedicure

You probably never thought that indulging yourself in a pedicure could be a turn on for a guy, but it can – especially if your guy has a foot fetish. Even if he doesn’t have a fetish for feet persay, lots of guys still find well manicured feet and sexy shoes attractive. Get your toes done, then splurge on a cute ankle bracelet or toe ring. Walk around the house barefoot, or watch a movie with your guy and prop your feet up on the table or his lap. You might just get another foot rub out of the deal because he won’t be able to keep his hands off them!

Order A Steak At Dinner

Just like a guy appreciates a girl who can chug a beer, he also appreciates a girl who can actually eat. Sure, you’re probably ordering salads at dinner, but next time, order a steak – and don’t order it well done because you’re afraid of bacteria. Sit down in front of your man and cut into a thick, juicy, medium rare steak. Eat it slowly and enjoy it. Let him watch you eat it and offer him a bite. You may have to ask for a to-go box so you can get it on in the car.

Give Him An Impromptu Handjob – While Standing Behind Him

Impromptu foreplay is a huge turn on for a guy, but give him a different view by slipping your hands down his pants while standing behind him to give him a handjob. He won’t be able to see you, but he’ll be able to feel and see your hands when he looks down at his member. Stroke him lightly, teasing him until he can’t take it anymore. Bonus points if you’re both shirtless so he can feel your breasts on his back.

Buy A Bag Of Lollipops

Lollipops aren’t just for kids. Next time you’re at the store, pick up a bag of your favorite suckers and stash them somewhere in the house where your man won’t immediately find them. When you’re hankering for something sweet, break out a lollipop and enjoy it in front of your guy. The trick here is to enjoy it slowly, licking and sucking provocatively while he watches – it will instantly make him think of oral sex. If you can avoid being blatant about it while you’re doing it and convince him that you’re just really enjoying your lollipop, even better.

Rock Fire Engine Red Lipstick

This can work both if you’re donning your dressy work clothes, or if you’re dressing up to go out for dinner – especially if you’re wearing red or black. Next time you’re ready to go, don’t smooth on your traditional nude lipstick. Grab a stick of hot, fire engine red lipstick instead. Play down your eye makeup so you don’t look overdone and so your man will focus on your mouth. Of course, confidence is everything here. Smile big and watch as your man’s eyes never looks away from your mouth.

Sexting

Sexting is an excellent tool to for foreplay, but a lot of women think that guys won’t really get off on it. However, men like dirty talk and sexts just as much as women do – but you might want to be a little more explicit when it’s for a guy. Men aren’t going to enjoy a text that describes “smoldering desire” or “burning lust.” He’ll want to hear about the specifics. Send him a racy text while you’re both at work, telling him that you can’t wait to get home. Don’t be shy – describe what you plan on doing to him and how much you want it. You’ll be all he thinks about until he gets home!

2 Ways To Make Foreplay Hotter

By

Foreplay is incredibly important if you want a great sex session. Here are two easy ways to make foreplay even hotter, and you can use them tonight!

More Isn’t Better

How do you know the foreplay is enough and that it’s a perfect time to ride?

The answer is you don’t, even a woman doesn’t really know. This isn’t a simple inquiry about time or quantity. With foreplay, more is not necessarily better. If it’s a long and lame one, then it’s a long and lame foreplay. You’re merely prolonging the agony of what could have been short anguish. It’s unnecessary and worse than no foreplay at all!

But even amazing foreplay will eventually reach a point of diminishing returns. Stay too long with it and it ceases to be great – that’s reality and you have to forge ahead before it gets stale. (But something tells me that stalling the foreplay isn’t the biggest issue with most guys. I have yet to hear a woman complain that her man gives too much.)

But Is Less More?

On the other hand, less is more doesn’t hold. It may be true for things like make-up or dancing, but sex is a different ballgame altogether. Sometimes less is just that less. You have to let things heat up, and when it’s hot, make it even hotter and allow a woman to really get the hang of things.

So where do balance and the optimum point lie? The fact that women are not a homogenous group, doesn’t make it any easier. So what can you do?

Look at your lover, read her. She will tell you stuff she doesn’t even have the audacity to verbalize – open your eyes and witness what she’s screaming without words. Only then would you see the glaring window to transition from foreplay to play. Only then would you know the most opportune time for it. (Do you see how calibration works at the advantage of long term partners over one-night stands?)

To help you decide whether or not she’s ready for your penis, check on two things you should have achieved:

An Extended Make Out And Foreplay Session

This includes all the works – kissing, caressing, hugging, even dirty talking and sex games – all those things men tag as preliminaries to the real thing. Add 5-15 extra minutes  to your usual. This way, you’re giving her plenty of time to catch up and really rev up her engines.

Give Her An Orgasm Or Two

Follow the “ladies first” rule. A lot of seasoned guys make it a rule to never ride unless she cums once or twice via manual/oral work. They let the lady have hers first, before they mount away. Stimulate her all the way to orgasm and don’t leave her hanging, hoping that penetration will finish the job. Penetration is one of the most ineffective ways of making women orgasm.

How To Touch Her During Foreplay The Right Way

By

Foreplay includes lots of touching and caressing, but it’s not always easy to figure out where she wants to be touched. Here’s how to do it the right way.

Foreplay skills and techniques can get complicated, but the basic premise remains the same. Most women are very touchoriented and need some kind of good touch every day to remain connected and compassionate. This does not mean sex. A palm on the small of the back, hugs, kisses and holding hands in public are all important ways to keep an intimate connection in those brief moments when you don’t have time to get naked. On the other hand, touching during foreplay will bring a whole new element to your sexual escapades.

The Rules Of Good Touching During Foreplay

Rule #1 – There Are No Hard And Fast Rules

No one, not even me, can tell you exactly how to touch your wife so she will get off effortlessly every time. What I can do is give you all the skills and practices you need to approach her, adventure with her and discover a whole new sexual landscape! You are probably pretty dejected right now, but chin up love. All will soon become clear as sunny blue skies.

The next two rules for foreplay are only guidelines. Sometimes a quickie is preferable to a long night of exploring; now and again you will want to try a new technique and might not know exactly what you’re doing before you’re doing it. Don’t fret. Accept that this is a journey of discovery and enjoy the experience. It has to be better than what you’re doing right now, or you wouldn’t be here, right?

Rule #2 – Take Your Time

Yes, sometimes we want it quick and dirty. Really. But we also need you need to be precise, calm and able to go with the flow. Don’t rush us. Don’t come to bed with a set list in your hand and don’t expect a stellar opening-night performance if we haven’t had a few dress rehearsals first. Smart men go slowly.

The only way you are ever going to be able to tell if your wife is enjoying your new moves is if you pay attention, and you can’t pay attention if you are busy ripping clothes off and throwing sheets aside and jumping on top of her. This kind of sex has its place, but now is not the time to try something new and get experimental. Save the new stuff for the days when you have a half hour or more set aside to really take a deep breath and get into each other.

Rule #3 – Know Your Stuff

Self-explanatory, right? You and I both know that learning how to do anything is more difficult than just reading it on a page (or a screen, as the case may be). Practice makes perfect!

The Magic Touch

In The Multi-Orgasmic Couple, two pairs of lifetime partners (Mantak and Maneewan Chia, experts in Taoist sexuality, along with sexperts Douglas and Dr. Rachel Carleton Abrams) describe a journey of sexual exploration through expanding the use of touch and the experience of pleasure during foreplay. Recognizing that male sexual desire is fast and furious, they say that magic touch comes from the ability of a man to keep his fires burning low and under control. A relaxed smile and a slow patience is required to ignite a woman’s passion, like the gentle breath and patient coaxing required to enflame any ember into a roaring fire.

Take turns, or watch each other while self touching during foreplay. Explore your own body and leave your penis for last. Let her see how turned on you get from watching her.

Meditating on magic touch can help to cultivate love. The process is simple and laid back, taking both of you through the process of experiencing touch fully. After spending some time gazing into each other’s eyes, touch yourself. Take turns, or watch each other while self-touching.

We humans are wonderful in that we can both resonate (amplify) and reflect (reciprocate) sexual energy from other humans. As you each get more turned on, you both get more turned on, and as you both get more turned on, you each are able to turn the other on more.

Pay close attention as she is touching herself during foreplay – where do her hands go? How much time do they spend in each location and how are her hands moving? Smile as you watch your wife – don’t let your focus turn into a frustrated look on your face. Try and keep your attention open not just to what she is doing, but how it makes her feel, how her vital stats respond, and how your own body receives, resonates and returns that energy to her with more power than she can muster on her own.

Foreplay Moves That Guys Love

By

Foreplay isn’t just for girls – guys actually enjoy foreplay before the action too. Check out these steamy moves guaranteed to make him hot.

First things first, foreplay was not invented for men. Most men are just in it for the benefit of women. Bless those men! Still, some men don’t give a crap about women. Of course, those men are jerks. If we are going to focus on foreplay moves based solely on pleasing men then all you need to know is that men are all about their penis.

Men are wired to go from 0-100 in sixty seconds. So any sort of “special moves” you think you need to learn or “erogenous zones” you think you need to touch are pretty much moot. I’m not saying women should forgo foreplay on a man all together, lets not get lazy here ladies, I’m just saying that the foreplay can all be penis focused.

What She Said About Foreplay Moves:

Focus On His Penis During Foreplay

That’s it. Men do not need long make out sessions, neck kissing or back massages. Once a guy is aroused, the only thing he is thinking about is how long it will take you to stop fussing with him and get your hands on his penis. So get a hold of that python and get comfortable.

Praise His Penis

Once you have laid eyes on his penis, tell him how big, huge, gigantic, large, superior it is. Any adjective that makes his penis sound like the biggest one you have ever seen. You can even say “That is the biggest one I have ever seen.” If you are not into talking, then gasps of surprise and arousal are always a wonderful move that guys dig. Once you have spent a few seconds admiring, its time to move on to the next foreplay move.

Work His Penis

You’ve seen it, you’ve commented on it and you’ve “oohed” and “ahhed.” Now you just have to touch it. So stroke it, caress it, give him a handjob. Keep an eye on your man and see what sort of pressure he likes and how he likes his penis to be pleased.

Put His Penis In Your Mouth

Just like stroking his penis with your hand, do it with your mouth. Although you have more opportunities with your mouth, saliva is a wonderful tool and your tongue is the strongest muscle in the body. Use your spit, use your tongue! Kiss his most prized possession, lick every where. Pretend its an ice cream cone or sucker and start giving that man a blowjob.

There you go. Four easy steps and in all honestly, most likely he was aroused and ready to go before you even got to step one. Foreplay for men doesn’t have to be an all day affair. They can get hit by a gust of wind and be aroused. I am not saying all men are solely about their penis for foreplay, but lets face it, that is where they want to be touched, licked and praised. So you can save yourself a lot of time and energy by focusing your foreplay on his best friend. Even after these tips, I’m pretty sure you could have probably just leaned over and whispered “Lets have sex.” That comment alone would have been all the foreplay you needed to do.

What He Said About Foreplay Moves:

There’s this notion that foreplay is for women. Men love foreplay too. Why? Cause we’re tired of doing all the damn work. We have to jump through all these hoops to get your number, to get you to go out with us, to get you into bed, and then you just take your clothes off and expect us to instantly begin dispensing the multiple orgasms. Really?

Why can’t men enjoy foreplay?

Just massage him. Give him a good one and get him relaxed. Work out the knots. You might think this is in his best interest, but really it’s in yours. The more relaxed and tension free he is, the longer it will last and the better it will be. He’ll be all zen like and won’t be focused on racing to the finish line, rather, he’ll be overjoyed with how good he and it feels and his pleasure will be enhanced, and then he’ll hit it like a rock star.