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You are here: Home / Archives for Sex & Intimacy / Foreplay

How Foreplay Affects A Woman’s Sexual Arousal

By loveandsex

Foreplay is the very first step in sexual arousal. How do you do that? Tease your girl into an orgasmic oblivion! There are a whole host of things that happen during the “foreplay” phase, all of which propel her further towards explosion. Here are some things to look for during that process, as well as what to do to get her moving smoothly along the path to orgasm.

What Happens To A Woman’s Body During Sex

As soon as your partner starts thinking about sex, her body begins to change. The hormone oxytocin overloads the brain in a rushing flood. This same hormone makes women want to cuddle after sex, and motivates them to bond with their newborn babies after breastfeeding. She gets ’emotionally stoned’ on this hormone according to author Theresa Crenshaw, and she needs more and more of it to flow through her circulatory system in order to orgasm.

As the blood starts pumping harder and faster throughout the body, the skin around her face, chest, back and inner thighs will start to flush, turning a deep pink or red. Some folks call this the ‘glow’ of arousal, although really it is more of a glow signalling readiness for an increase in stimulation than an indication of her proximity to climax. More blood gets diverted to her pelvic region as well with similar effects. The labia will turn dark purple instead of a mere flush. The closer she gets to orgasm, the darker the hue.

Why Teasing Makes Her Body React Better

Wherever she gets flushed, she’ll also become more sensitive, as there’s more blood flow to the nerve endings around her body. Nibbling her ears when she’s excited for example has a different reaction than when her body is unprepared. Her breasts and nipples get larger as she moves through the foreplay phase of arousal, and may take on a defined pinkish color as well. Playing with her breasts and nipples during this state increases the amount of oxytocin in her blood as well. In some women this is so prominent that she’ll be able to orgasm from this stimulation alone.

Vaginal lubrication begins during this phase as well, from two tiny ducts that line the opening of her vagina called Bartholin’s Glands. The lubrication helps both moisturize and prepare the vagina for penetration, not to mention getting the clitoris ready for full-on play.

How To Tell When She’s Ready For Sex

The best ways to figure out if she’s moved from the foreplay stage to a point where she’s getting ready to work toward climaxing is to look at her clitoral head. Keep a close look when she is not aroused; her clitoral head won’t be visible to the naked eye, difficult to find during fingering, or downright impossible to locate.

When she’s aroused, the clitoral head peeks out from underneath the protective hood, essentially saying, “I’m here and ready to come out and play!” Before her clitoral head peeks out she’ll prefer light, indirect touches, like light circles around the head, but not directly on it. Pressure along the front commissure is also pleasurable to help arouse her more. Once the clitoris emerges from its hidden place, you’re free to press with firm pressure and venture right for the nub of pleasure.

Filed Under: Foreplay Tagged With: clitoris, female orgasm, fingering, foreplay, orgasm

2 Ways To Undress A Woman

By loveandsex

Foreplay begins before a girl even has her clothes off. Use one of these two ways to strip her down so the foreplay leads into something even more exciting!

1. The Orange Model

This has something to do with tearing clothes off a woman’s body. It’s fast, furious, with severed buttons lying all over. It comes without warning, is swift and unforgiving of any delays. The goal is to unveil booty in the soonest possible time.

The Orange Model is one of intensity, all energy channeled to ultimately getting skin-to-skin contact, which usually happens during frenzied love-making where partners won’t tolerate even a single centimeter of physical separation. It’s frantic and frenetic.

Everything happens so fast. Snap! And all clothes scatter on the floor.

When all the gloves are off, what’s really there to do next? It’s the dead end in stripping as you can’t strip her skin no more. When you’re staring at a naked woman’s body with your naked eye, there’s no room left for the imagination. Everything is right there!

Now, you’re visually confirming if she’s cut and curved in all the right places. There’s little room for teasing, because the desire to behold hidden assets has been indulged.

Am I saying that the Orange Model sucks? Not at all. The good thing about it is that it’s FAST. The poor thing about it is that it’s FAST. You have to decide what’s both practical and beneficial for a particular situation.

2. The Onion Model

This model luxuriates with time – the process is likened to skinning an onion.

This is in contrast to peeling an orange where you only deal with a single layer of skin, and voila, the meat is exposed. Peeling an orange requires boldness and tenacity as you tear it’s relatively thick skin. But the onion is a little different. A little tenderness and patience is required because you can’t get to the heart of an onion in one bold stroke. You peel its numerous layers, gradually exposing its core.

(Here, stripping is not taken for granted. Just think of it. Stripping is an art as well as a multi-billion dollar industry. Men actually pay ridiculous amounts of money in strip clubs just to witness clothes unwrap a woman, never mind that they never get to touch her.)

In the Onion Model, clothes aren’t simply skimmed over, stripping is celebrated in & of itself. It is mildly paced and elegantly executed – in contrast to the fierce and intense manner of the Orange.

When you de-fashion a woman, you are taking away something that attracted you to her in the first place. How else could a man be interested in what’s under there if her packaging isn’t right? Was it not her foxy red dress that sparked your fancy?

But what do most men do?

They attack clothes like archenemies, like bumps to triumph over. Give a moment’s hint of privacy, and they raid like a SWAT Team and finish de-styling proceedings in-between heartbeats.

Easy Junior!

When you peel a woman so hastily, you miss on the joys and tensions of undressing her. You throw all that opportunity away! And for what? Of course we know for what! It’s got something to do with breasts and stuff. But hey, do you have the faintest idea how fun undressing a girl can be?! If not, then it’s probably because you’ve never looked at it as a process.

Filed Under: Foreplay Tagged With: female orgasm, foreplay, have better sex, sex tips

3 Keys To Erotic Massage

By loveandsex

Erotic massage will get a woman warmed up for sex, but you need to do it right. With these three tips, you can give your girl an outstanding erotic massage!

It’s not about targeting deep muscles as it is simply adoring lover’s skin. As such, you really have great autonomy going about it. Sensuality is not found on the strokes, but in YOUR PRESENCE – it’s in the vibes you give off.

1. Be In The Moment

For the commercially available masseur, touching her is a job, and they have done it to several other clients that day. But for you, touching the beloved is a delight, you don’t count minutes during foreplay as you’re not being paid by the hour.

Effect slow, leisurely motions and take in the sensual bombardment.

Make no mistake, giving the sensual massage is just as blissful as receiving it. In spite being the giver, notice how your senses get bombarded with stimulation, feel through your palms the softness and suppleness of her body.

Delight your eyes at the curves of her of illuminated form. Smell the tingling scent of oil or lube rising from her skin and be attuned to her breaths and moans of rapture. Take this all in and you’ll find that giving the massage is just as great.

2. Have Confidence

Don’t go touching your partner’s body as if it’s the first time you’ve held a girl. The worst thing is to give off that vibe of uncertainty – she’ll catch it. Instead of melting and succumbing to your touch, she’ll get self-conscious and uptight. Not good for your cause.

Lead with confidence, move with control. You’re not putting on a show. Women know it if a guy has confidence. In sex, SLOOOOW is how confident and controlled men execute. This is not yet the time to gallop like a run-away pony. Don’t worry, she’ll feel your kick later.

3. Breath Regularly & Deeply

Yes, breathing is an attitude. And a pretty important one at that.

It does sound like the most basic thing, but breathing is also the most important. Everything starts with the way you breathe. When you take in oxygen, you’re replenishing life forces in your body, and if there’s one thing I want you to learn about erotic massage, and sex in general, it is to breathe regularly and deeply. Observe how a sleeping person does it, that’s the kind of relaxed and leisurely affair we’re gunning for.

The arts of Tantra and meditation have proper breathing as their cornerstone. Good luck being sensual and confident while panting delirious. (Many today live on shallow and quick breath cycles – and they still wonder why their days are always tense and nervous.)

Respiratory rate affects the rest of your body, getting fresh and ample amount of oxygen relaxes your muscles, for example. And observe how slowing down movements becomes really easy when you also slow down your breathing. Emotions, like anger, are held stable through regular and deep supply of air – as it’s very difficult to get mad when your breathing is as steady as a Uranium clock.

Filed Under: Foreplay Tagged With: confidence, erotic massage, foreplay, sex tips, tantra, tantric sex

How To Touch A Woman & Make Her MELT!

By loveandsex

Foreplay allows you to really be creative with how you get your girl turned on. Use these suggestions to turn your lover into putty before you ever have sex!

Why A Girl Wants Your Hands All Over Her

Women want, long and crave to be touched. Where?

All over their bodies!

But this is not a simple case of hand-to-skin-contact. After all, women, specially the desirable ones, get harassed daily by touchy-feely dimwits with no concept of personal space. These guys love to get their hands on a woman – any woman – add alcohol to the mix and they’ll frisk anybody with the likeness of breasts.

Can you smell the restraining order my friend?

But just as terrible are blokes at the opposite end of the spectrum who only touch when they want something. “Touchy-feely is for girly men,” they’d say. They go tactile only when horny and good to go, and have packaged physical intimacy in such a way that sex becomes the only source for it.

The physical contact then has strings attached: SEX.

And this frustrates women who long for physical connection – but not necessarily intercourse. One wife’s problem, in fact, was that she happens to have a husband who only touches her when he fancies a roll in the sack. So she’s like, “Oh, he just grazed my thigh again, I know where this is going….”

If she indulges his caresses and light foreplay without the reward of sex, she’ll be labeled a “tease” – accused of causing him blue balls because she didn’t put out. She’ll be charged of leading him on. So women, who’ve learned their lessons, are careful because many guys present a take-it-or-leave-it attitude to touching.

But not surprisingly, the yearning for surface area contact can be so overwhelmingly strong that many women have, in one time or another, engaged in sex just to have someone close, just to have someone warm. Sex, in exchange for touch.

Do You Have Any Idea How Fulfilling Touch Is For A Lady?

One way of grasping this is by asking women what they miss most when they “aren’t getting any.” When women experience sexual droughts, what do they crave most? Look out for the answers on this one because it’ll provide you with a fundamental understanding of how women view sex. This is one of the most essential piece of the puzzle.

Women don’t sexually engage only because they get horny, for they can easily help themselves in the shower and harvest climaxes in the most intense and efficient manner. They don’t really miss sucking on your thing, or the fact that you blow your load after two minutes. They don’t mind doing without your masterful strokes or the “almost-kinda” orgasms you cause. A woman misses you for something else!

So what do women miss most when they don’t get laid?

They miss being cuddled, kissed, caressed and held!

They miss the feeling of excitement, fun, affection, closeness, togetherness, comfort, warmth and intimacy (or the illusion of it). Such are the premium benefits women get from sex, the VERY REASONS women jump to bed.

Without these, a woman feels isolated, rejected, undesirable, lonely, unneeded and unattractive.

This is interesting, because touch during foreplay, which is supposedly a physical implement, triggers in her an emotional and psychological satisfaction. When she says, “Sex feels so good,” it’s not only a comment on the physical; it’s a compliment on the emotional-psychological as well.

Filed Under: Foreplay Tagged With: female orgasm, foreplay, have better sex, orgasm, sex tips

How Time Distortion Can RUIN Foreplay!

By loveandsex

Foreplay is essential, but are you really spending long enough on it? Probably not, even though you think you ARE. Here’s why!

What Is This Thing With Time?

When you’re sitting in on a lecture or a company meeting, you might think you’ve been sitting there for hours. It drones on and on, and you’re completely certain you’ve wasted your entire day. Then, when you break for lunch, you realize you’ve only been there 45 minutes. This, my friends, is known as the distortion of time.

What Does It Have To Do With Foreplay?

When a woman complains about that lame foreplay, a guy might think: “What?! I’ve been down here giving her oral sex for almost an hour. My tongue is tired, my mouth is dry, and I have only 4 hours of sleep left. I have blue balls bouncing all over. And she still wants more?!”

Okay, first of all, he hasn’t been down there for almost an hour. It may have felt like 60 minutes, but it’s really more like 3. He thinks he’s the world’s most indulgent lover, pampering partner with extensive, soul-reaching oral sex and foreplay, or so he thought. He’s been played.

How can he be guilty? He’s been a true gentleman, always considerate of her needs.

But many fellas are in for a nasty surprise. A guy can be sincere, but he can also be sincerely wrong. What he thought was enough, wasn’t really much at all.

How Your Attitude Can Make It Worse

The fact that guys are acting like school children in anguish for the bell on a Friday afternoon doesn’t help at all. They’re thinking way ahead, imagining how good it would feel to be inside her, picturing her innocent face when he starts penetrating her.

But that’s not great sex!

Great sex is a moment by moment experience!

For example, when you kiss, think ONLY of her lips. Close your eyes and feel the suppleness of them. Gently explore her upper set, playfully bite her lower lip. Proceed to the sides where both meet. Notice it’s much thinner there. Probe the fleshy inner part of her smackers where it’s warmer and smoother. Feel how her lips transform when she smiles while kissing. How does that feel? Breathe deeply, inhaling her soul. Do this without care for time or the future.

And that’s just for the lips! We’re not even dealing with dynamite stuff here. But you won’t appreciate these details if your mind is somewhere else.

Your effectiveness lies where your focus is, so don’t ever think of anything else except what you’re doing IN THE MOMENT. When you nuzzle, think only of that and nuzzle your way into her entire body. Focus only on that. Focus, and your senses will reward you with awareness that’ll blow your mind. You’ll dawn to the realization that you were missing so much just because you were always out of the moment.

Filed Under: Foreplay Tagged With: cunnilingus, female orgasm, foreplay, have better sex, oral sex, orgasm, sex tips

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