Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for Sex & Intimacy / Masturbation

5 Places Never To Miss When Giving A Handjob

By

A handjob is an incredible way to give your lover an orgasm without getting anything but – well, your hands – involved. Here’s how to give a great handjob!

First, let’s explore some of the places on a man’s genitals that are great for a massage. The more you know your man between his legs, the better your handjob will be.

1. His Scrotum

The scrotum (the sac where his balls are held) is a great place to hold, tug lightly and massage lightly. Cupping his scrotum with one hand can give your partner excellent sensations while you do the dirty work with your other hand! Just be careful not to massage your partner’s scrotum too hard – this is a very sensitive area and a rough approach just won’t work here. Think of his testicles as eyeballs.

You can actually massage your eyeballs, but if you poke or press too hard it hurts. The same with his balls. Try pumping up and down on his shaft, then giving a light squeeze every third or fourth stroke release. A feather to the balls is also very, very delightful.

2. The Perineum

This is probably the area that gives you the most advantage during a genital massage. Why, you ask? When pressure is put on the perineum, it stimulates a man’s sensitive prostate gland. Men love having their prostate gland stimulated (it is like a man’s G-spot) but not all of them know they do. That’s because other than the perineum, the only other way to gain access to the prostate gland is through the anus and there are more men that don’t like going that route than there are that do.

Pressing or rubbing on the perineum (the spot between his scrotum and his anus) during a genital massage can give your partner the thrill of a lifetime. Just make sure that your partner is comfortable with your hand in that spot and make sure he lets you know how low is too low if he is uncomfortable with your hand near his anus. And don’t be afraid to throw some lube down there first! Things will slide right along!

3. His Inner Thighs And Lower Abs

These areas are secondary to the others during a genital massage and you may want to use them just to help warm your partner up – but if he really likes it, feel free to use these areas during the handjob to give your partner more of an “all over” feeling. These spots can take a little more of a rough touch, so they are great to squeeze, press and manipulate when you are really ravaging your partner during a genital massage. Be careful not to do this too hard, your partner is not Play-Doh! If you prefer to go the softer route, these places are very responsive to light touching (such as running your fingers up and down them) or to tickling. Light touches in these areas are best for teasing.

Let your hair caress his thighs while your face is close to his penis and you are fondling and rubbing his erection.

4. The Anus

Obviously this area can be a big no-no spot for men. But the anus has a lot of pleasure points. Some men are fine with you massaging the outside of the anus and that is it. Others have discovered the incredible pleasure of having their prostate massaged via the anus. Insert your pointer or middle finger (after he has been well lubed of course) and find a spongy area the size of a walnut maybe 3 or 4 inches in and begin to stroke it. Do this when you think he is close to coming and it will most likely give him the explosion of his lifetime.

Here is how one of my readers described it:

“She would lube up her middle finger insert it in my ass and massage my prostate. Well you orgasm very quick and when she is massaging the walnut you darn near levitate!! Very powerful!”

And another one of my reader’s says this about the anus:

“Most guys will not admit it but a man’s anal area adds great sensations.”

5. His Penis

Well, of course the penis is the main area on your partner’s body that you want to pay attention to when giving a genital massage. None of the other areas have the capacity to bring your partner to orgasm – but it is important to note that concentrating on massaging the penis only during a genital massage can make it slow work for you. Accessing and utilizing massage techniques on the other areas of your partner’s groin area can make things go more quickly and actually, it will make the genital massage more exciting, pleasurable and satisfying to him.

5 Sex Positions For Fingering

By

Fingering isn’t just something high school kids do – it can be a legitimate form of hot, steamy foreplay and it can be an incredible addition to penetrative sex. In fact, many girls won’t get off on just penetration alone – they need some extra stimulation to their breasts or clitoris in order to reach orgasm. Using your fingers during sex can be extremely exciting for her! Try these sex positions for the ultimate fingering!

The true fingering aficionado doesn’t need to take a break just to get his hands into the mix. There are several different sexual positions from which you can extend a helping hand and touch your girl’s naughty bits, so get ready to get funky with these legendary moves.

1. Missionary

From the missionary position, you have your choice of easy access points, if you can keep your balance by kneeling or propping yourself up on one arm. Kim Cattrall recommends a pinkie in the pink. Reach around and while you are thrusting slow and shallow, place a well-lubricated pinkie finger against her anus and apply steady pressure. From this position, you can hold her tight and thrust away. Each movement will rock her insides just right!

Try spreading her outer labia as you thrust, or squeezing them gently around your shaft. If you want to get even greater access to her back door from the missionary position, have her bring her legs together up over her head, then bend at the knees to press the soles of her feet against your chest. From this position she has great leverage to lift up her butt, and you can explore some anal play.

2. From Behind

Whether you are kneeling on the mattress or standing up on the floor behind her, this position is not only super sexy in that primal sort of way, but leaves your hands totally free to play and explore with any erogenous zone you can reach!

Reach around and massage her breasts, hold on to her shoulders, run your fingers down her spine. If she is into it, you can get a good grip on her hair and give it a bit of a tug. Make sure you grasp it close to the nape of her neck, and get all of it in your clenched fist at once. Gentle tugs will stimulate her scalp and might just play into some kinky fantasies of hers too!

For an extra stimulating surprise, try angling away from her body a bit on one side, so you can reach your hand, palm down, underneath your penis. In this position, you can enter her with both your penis and one, or maybe two, fingers, crooked toward the mattress so you can hit her g-spot!

If you are coordinated enough and have enough reach, you can even use the other hand to stimulate her clitoris, or to ask her to rub herself while you penetrate. This is also a great position to use your thumbs for exploring her back door, so be sure to have lots of lube handy.

3. She’s On Top

When it comes to intercourse, studies conclusively show that the woman-on-top positions are the best for getting her to orgasm. This gives her the chance to set the pace and depth, but also gives you the complete use of your hands, with which to make her feel good.

Try just spreading her lips as she bounces on your shaft. If she doesn’t move too much, you can also try twiddling your thumbs over the sensitive nub, or massaging her labia. If she turns around to face your feet in this position, you’ll have great access to her rear passage, and if you sit or prop yourself up a bit, you can fondle her clitoris and breasts at the same time!

4. Side By Side

If what you really need is encouragement to slow down and escape from all the high impact thrusting, a luxurious, relaxing, side-by-side position is perfect for keeping things calm. While you are thrusting in this sex position, just about all of the earlier exercises described above in the “looking-at-her-feet” category can be used. Try resting the heel of your hand on her mons, to stimulate her labia and clitoris while you thrust.

5. Standing At Attention

It’s pretty daring, but sex standing up can be absolutely amazing. If you want to be able to use your hands for anything other than holding her up, have her bend over and put her hands on a table or chair to support herself, thereby leaving you free to use any of the “from behind” positions above!

6 Super Naughty Fingering Tips

By

Fingering isn’t played out – at least these hotter than fire tips aren’t! Here’s how to engage in fingering with your girl and give her a WET orgasm!

1. Stirring The Pot

Another great all-round stimulator, this little trick allows you to stimulate the circumference of the vaginal wall at just about any depth, and is another type of sensation she may have never before experienced.

With one or two fingers inserted, slowly begin to make clockwise circles around the entire vaginal canal – bottom, left side, top, right side. You can change which direction your finger pads point to mix things up, or switch directions. Try to keep it up while thrusting!

2. Twist & Shout

A very special move using two to three fingers, this one allows you to stimulate her G or A-Spot, her clitoris, her urethra, her inner and outer labia; her entire vulva, in fact. A favorite in our house, this one has just the kind of sensations that are guaranteed to bring me over the edge after some stimulating massage and stretching.

Using your index and possibly your middle finger, penetrate and find the G-Spot, (or A-Spot, depending on how deep it is and how long your fingers are) thereby creating a “C” shape out of your hand, so that your thumb curls around to cover her clitoris. The sensitive inner webbing of your hand will cover her inner labia, and can stimulate her U-Spot here as well.

Once in position, slowly begin to twist your wrist from side to side, keeping your arm stationary. Not only will this rock back and forth inside her, causing her to lubricate and possibly squirt, but the changing pressure on her clit at just the right rhythm is certain to be a show-stopping favorite.

3. Upping The Ante

If you’re feeling extra frisky, you can add a second digit to any of the moves described above, either massaging her perineum and anus or fingering her clitoris. If you can figure out using multiple fingers and your tongue at the same time, you’re golden!

4. Three, Four And More

As she turns on, her vagina will begin to stretch and expand, preparing to accommodate something a bit bigger than a finger or two. As this happens, your wife will probably be interested in more stimulation, which is where these more complex moves come in. If you are still learning to read your wife’s reactions, take your time here to work up to them. She needs to be communicative; not just to ensure her pleasure here, but to avoid any unwanted pain.

5. The Three-Way

You can modify the Twist & Shout position above, with two fingers inserted to hit her G-Spot and A-Spot at the same time, along with her clitoris and possibly her urethra. Doesn’t that sound like the kind of party you want to get in on? As she turns on, her vagina will begin to stretch and expand, preparing to accommodate something a bit bigger than a finger or two.

As this happens, your wife will probably be interested in more stimulation. With your two fingers inserted deeply, trace your middle finger toward you, along the front wall of the vagina, until you find the A-Spot. Keep the finger in place as you crook your index finger closer yet, finding the G-Spot just inside the vaginal opening. Now that you have both spots in hand, you can reach your thumb for her clit.

In this position, you can both twist at the wrist as I mentioned earlier, and thrust very gently with your inserted fingers in the come-hither motion to stimulate all her special spots!

6. The Pubic Press

This movement actually puts a bit of pressure on her uterus and ovaries, giving you an opportunity to stimulate these internal reproductive organs from inside her vagina. Some women may find this a bit uncomfortable, if they aren’t used to it, so go slowly and gently and get lots of feedback. With your fingers inside her, let the heel of your other hand find her pubic bone.

Just above her mons and below her abdomen, you can press down to gently move her internal reproductive system closer to the vaginal canal, and the clitoral tissue that surrounds it. Thrusting in this position can be incredibly pleasurable.

10 Advanced Tools For Incredible Handjobs

By

A handjob doesn’t have to be any old handjob. These simple but effective accessories can turn something “ho hum” into something absolutely orgasmic!

While your hands (and some lube) are really all that is needed for a great hand job, some variety makes it more fun for you and him. Here are some ideas on elements that can be used to add some zest and excitement to your repertoire.

1. Candle Wax

You can buy candles that are specifically designed for body massages. As the candle burns and the wax is melted, you can pour the melted wax on your lovers body. It should be safe to pour on his shaft and testicles. His glans (head) might be too sensitive to the heat. Do a test drop first. I loved it when my wife did this for me but not something I’d want every time. I personally think warm oil/lube is better for a handjob overall but for a man, the smell, sight and feeling of the candle wax being lovingly poured on your penis is special indeed and worth doing now and again.

2. Scarf Or Tie

Take some of your silk scarves or his old ties and put them to good use. Drape the over his body, wrap them around his rod and pass them between his legs. He’ll go crazy from the soft, silky, breezy fabrics touching his sensitive spots. Do this BEFORE you get out the lube to keep them from getting soiled. If you want to get real kinky, use them to “tie him up” while you give him an exciting handjob experience. And while you are at it you can also use them to blindfold him. That adds another very interesting dimension to a handjob. It puts all his energy on assessing the pleasure of your touch.

3. Silk Or Satin Lingerie

Taking off your lingerie will certainly get his blood pumping and you can do one better. Rub your silky nightie or underwear around his shaft and balls. He’ll go nuts. This is what it did for one of my subscribers: “My favorite hand-job spin is this: my girl will take her satin Nighty, turn it inside out, and rub my hard-on with the silky material…WOW I throb big-time! She may add a vibe to tingle my balls with her other hand. Sometimes I can’t hold back and I’ll jizz now.”

4. A Vibrator

As you just read, battery operated toys are not just for women. They work exceptionally well on men’s sensitive areas. Buzz his nipples, his sack, his rod. He’ll even like it if you touch his anus with it (you can put a condom over it if you want to keep it sanitary). If you don’t have a “dildo” on hand, simply use an old battery powered toothbrush. Just keep the bristles away from him.

5. Beads

No, not anal beads (although some men would really go for that too). I am talking about pearl necklaces. If you have a bead necklace that is smooth, wrap it around his shaft and pull it back and forth to massage his manhood. Just be aware that some lubes and oils might eventually break down the string so don’t use an expensive necklace.

6. Fruit

This is for the adventurous. Take a melon and cut a hole in it the size of his erect shaft (make it a little on the tight size. Slide it on his hard-on, then move the melon up and down to push his cock in and out. He’ll smell and taste wonderful. If the suction is too strong, cut a small hole in the opposite side of the melon. You can also use a banana. Cut the end off the banana and gently scoop out enough flesh so that his penis will fit in tight. You can also put the banana in the microwave for a few seconds to warm it up but be VERY CAREFUL to test it with your finger to make sure it is not too hot. If you like the taste of kiwi then cut the top and bottom off a kiwi fruit and take a little flesh out of the center and use the “sleeve” to masturbate your guy.

7. Vegetables

Same idea as above but use a zucchini, eggplant or cucumber. Instead of scooping out the flesh you can often press in a broom handle to create a hole deep and wide enough.

8. Condoms

Put lube on his member and them roll down a condom and use it as a sleeve to jerk off your guy. A nice side benefit is that clean up is a cinch. Also, try a “ribbed” condom and turn it inside out before putting it over his manhood. The ribs will give him lots of wonderful sensations all over. Here’s something else to try with a condom. Blow it up into a balloon, a little smaller than a bowling ball. Quickly insert his penis into the hole to seal it up. If air starts to leak hold it tight around his shaft (or ask him to hold it). You will both be able to see his penis inside the “balloon.” If you can manage it, get him to come and see him squirt all over the inside. Guys will really like this visual.

9. Plastic Baggies

Fill one zippered baggie with warm water and one with ice water. Use them at different intervals touching various parts of his body to bring your man different sensations.

10. Fan

You can use a hand fan or an electric fan to blow air over your man to create a slight breeze. It feels quite refreshing on the testicles which aren’t used to a lot of fresh air.

Kinky Things To Do With Your Fingers That She Will LOVE!

By

Fingering can be hotter than it was in high school when you hadn’t yet reached third or fourth base. Here’s how to make using your hands sexier and more adult!

What other kinky things are fingers good for? If you and your wife are both up for something a bit more out-there, try turning up the kinky knob on your relationship and trying out a few new tricks. Bondage, discipline, dominance, submission and sadomasochism are all designed to lead to increased pleasure for both parties. If you or your wife might get off on the exchange of power or pain, why not take a stroll down a few new pathways?

BDSM

Whether you bind her wrists to give you the upper hand or simply to immobilize hers, bondage is a great way to use your hands to make her very conscious of what her hands can and can’t do. Add a blindfold, and she won’t have any idea what amazing new move is coming her way!

BDSM requires lots of discussion and decision making to reach informed consent. The use of a safe word is very important if you will be playing with any kind of bondage or pain play.

When it comes to pain play, your hands are really your best asset. There are lots of little devices you can buy, but if you are just getting to know her responses, you want the hands-on experience that comes from using your own skin. An over-the-knee bare hand spanking can be an incredible bonding experience, and depending on how much force is used, can be anything from energizing and stimulating to excruciatingly painful.

Walk the line carefully. You can also use the same technique to give a light “spank” to her vulva. Be very gentle here, in the facing-her-feet or spooning position, unless she asks you to go harder!

The other great thing your fingers can do to start off playing with pain is tweaking her nipples. What can easily be pleasurable with a gently touch can quickly turn to pain – sometimes, that delicious kind of pain – when it comes to pinching and twisting those sensitive little nubs.

Exhibitionism

In my opinion, that best kind of kink that comes from learning new hand tricks is a little bit of exhibitionism. If you can get her off without either of you having to get naked, it opens up a whole world of possibilities – literally!

With a skirt and skimpy (or no) panties, you have all the access you need to finger her under the dinner table, in a movie theatre, in the back seat of the car, in the bathroom, while she’s sitting on your lap at the club, in an elevator, or just about anywhere else you’ve ever dreamed of getting busy. Time to make a date!