Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for Sex & Intimacy / Masturbation

How To Enhance Your Orgasm – For Men

By

An orgasm for men – when they’re by themselves – is often just a “get it done” kind of thing. Guys are used to masturbating quickly, usually because they either grew up afraid to get caught or are still afraid to get caught – and for many guys, it’s a combination of both. Masturbation is a healthy part of any man’s sex life, so here’s how you can make your masturbation sessions so much more satisfying.

Use Lube During Masturbation

As much as this sounds like common sense, there are actually a lot of guys who just don’t use lube during masturbation. They often use nothing, or they’ll use some kind of lotion or petroleum jelly. These just aren’t suitable for masturbation. They dry out too quickly and can cause allergic reactions and rashes on the sensitive skin of the penis. Lube is specifically developed to be used during sex (and this includes when you go solo) so it feels better and will help give you an incredible orgasm.

Water based lube is always a good choice, but silicone based lube is also effective for masturbation because it’s thicker and it lasts longer. Lube is cheap and is available almost anywhere, including your local supermarket or drugstore. Many lubes are now created with special ingredients to either warm the penis or prolong an erection. Experiment with different lubes until you find the one that is best for you!

Consider Using Male Sex Toys

A lot of guys assume that sex toys are just for women to use – but there are actually a lot of fun toys for guys to use too! Masturbation sleeves can make a huge difference in how great your orgasm is. When used with lube, the simple silicone sleeve can make masturbation (and even a handjob from your lady) feel absolutely divine. Many masturbation sleeves come with ribbed or studded interiors, making the experience that much more pleasurable!

There are other male sex toys, including cock rings (which trap the blood inside the penis after an erection and make it last longer and stay harder) as well as butt plugs and prostate massagers. Next time you make a trip to the adult toy store – or if you’re browsing online – take a look and see what they have to offer for you – not just your woman!

Don’t Rush It

Since most guys grew up with the fear of getting caught spanking the monkey, they view masturbation as a “get it done quick” ritual. In fact, most men only need minutes to achieve orgasm when they’re stroking themselves. While an orgasm during a quickie masturbation session is certainly satisfactory, it definitely isn’t what you would consider “amazing” or even “okay.” It simply does the job.

If you want to make your orgasm better, take your time. Plan to masturbate during a time where you are home alone for significant period of time. Lock the doors, close the curtains and take a few deep breaths. Look at some erotica to start getting yourself aroused and then take your time with it. Don’t rush it – if you get close to orgasm, stop stimulating yourself. Pick it back up again after you’ve backed away from the brink of climax a little bit. Once you do this several times, you finally won’t be able to help going over the edge – but by this time, your pleasure will be so built up that the final release is nothing short of incredible.

Watch Porn – Good Porn

Porn is something almost every guy watches, and if he says he doesn’t, there’s an excellent chance that he’s lying. There’s nothing wrong with watching porn – men are visual creatures and have a difficult time becoming aroused and reaching orgasm if there isn’t any visual stimulation. So it makes sense that men watch adult movies when getting off, but surprisingly, a lot of men aren’t watching what really turns them on. Why?

Price could be a factor. DVD’s and subscriptions to adult websites can be expensive. Also, a guy may have a secret fetish that he’s just not willing to admit he has (even to himself) so he just makes do with whatever free porn he can find on the  Internet. If you’re not watching the porn you really want to be watching, just get what you want and get on with it. Even if it means shelling out a few extra bucks. The increase in the pleasure of your orgasm will be well worth it.

Try Prostate Massage

If you’re really freaked out by the idea of anal play (on yourself), then skip this part entirely. But if the idea intrigues you and you just haven’t had the balls to do it yet, read on. The prostate is often considered the male “g-spot” and can provide a man with intense pleasure when it is simulated, especially in conjunction with sexual activity. Some men have experienced prostate massage with their partners, but have never tried it on themselves during masturbation.

If you’re open to the idea, purchase a small butt plug to start. You can also use a finger on the hand that you’re not using to stroke your penis. Make sure you have lots of good lube on hand, because anal play can really hurt without proper lubrication. To find your prostate on yourself, you will need to use the “come hither” motion (if you’re using your fingers) and move toward your stomach. This usually involves reaching down in between your legs rather than trying to reach around from behind. Go slow and work your way up in size if you’re using sex toys. Remember that if it ever hurts, stop! However, with practice, prostate massage can give you the kind of orgasms you never dreamed you’d have.

Is It Unhealthy To Masturbate Daily?

By

Masturbation is a healthy and normal part of growing up for both men and women, but how can you tell when it becomes too much? Is it possible to have an addiction to it and if so, can you do serious harm to yourself by masturbating too much? Here’s what you want to know about masturbating and when and where to draw the line.

Question: I am 16 year old man and I masturbate once a day. I began masturbating when I was 12 – is that unhealthy or I will have problems in future? Thanks for your help!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYliNavlCnM[/youtube]

Masturbation Is Perfectly Healthy And Natural

Masturbation is a perfectly healthy and natural part of everyone’s sex life. Both men and women masturbate, although male masturbation is quite a bit more common than the female counterpart. However, learning how to pleasure yourself is an important part of going through puberty and can help you translate your sexual desires and preferences to your partners as you become sexually active. There are lots of benefits to self-love, including:

  • It helps relieve sexual frustration and pent up sexual feelings
  • It helps reduce unwanted erections
  • When done properly, it can help reduce or prevent premature ejaculation
  • Even daily masturbation can be helpful if you’re not addicted to it

How To Tell If You’re Addicted To Masturbation

There are many ways to tell if you’re addicted to masturbating, and they’re similar to the signs people exhibit when they’re addicted to anything, including sex, drugs, food and alcohol. If you think you might be addicted to pleasuring yourself, ask yourself these questions:

  • Do you think about it often? Is it the primary thing you’re thinking about throughout the day?
  • Do you find it difficult to focus on other things because you’re looking forward to it?
  • Do you plan your activities around the times you know you’re going to masturbate?
  • Are you masturbating so much that you’re causing your penis to become raw or painful?
  • Would you rather masturbate than have sex with your partner?

Even if you self pleasure often, that doesn’t automatically mean that you are addicted to it and need to stop. If you start noticing that all you really want to do is get it on with yourself, you’ve probably crossed the line. Masturbation should not rule your life!

What To Do If You’re Addicted To Masturbating

If you answered “yes” to any of the above questions and you think you may be addicted to it, it’s okay to seek help. Addiction comes in many forms (it’s not just drugs and alcohol) and can seriously wreak havoc on your life if you don’t check out some resources that can help you tone down your addiction to masturbating.

If you’re not sure where to go to get help for a masturbation addiction, start by talking to your doctor. Don’t be embarrassed – your doctor has heard it all before and then some. Your doctor can do a thorough examination to determine whether you’re really doing harm to yourself by masturbating too much.

This will most likely only include a series of questions similar to those above rather than a physical examination unless you’ve got something going on down there (such as raw sores or bumps on the penis) that might be caused by excessive masturbation. Your doctor can refer you to someone that can help you talk through whatever issues you have that may be causing you to want to masturbate so often. Just remember that there is nothing wrong with seeking help for a problem and working towards bettering yourself!

Tips For Healthy Masturbation

If you’re masturbating once a day (or less, or more) and you’re not addicted to it, just enjoy it and enjoy the benefits that masturbating has to offer. If you’re leading an otherwise healthy and active life outside of your masturbatory activities, try not to worry too much about it. It’s a perfectly normal and healthy part of life for both men and women. There are, however, a few ways you can make it even better:

  • Use lube!
  • Oil, lotion, saliva or water are not good for pleasuring yourself. Lube is inexpensive, it’s readily available at just about any drug store or supermarket and it will make it feel so much better!
  • To use masturbation to prevent unwanted erections, stroke yourself until you’re at the brink of orgasm, then take a break. This technique will help you learn how to last longer and control your climax.
  • Try mutual masturbation with your partner so you can both get an idea of how best to pleasure the other.

9 Handjob Techniques That Will Make Him Beg For More

By

A handjob is often severely underrated by both guys and gals. Guys assume that if they can masturbate, why do they want to have their woman do it for them? Especially if he can have a blowjob or have sex instead? Girls often assume that guys don’t want a handjob for the very same reason. However, a handjob can be absolutely divine if done correctly. Here are nine handjob techniques that will make your man beg fore more.

Hold His Scrotum Right Before He Is About To Orgasm

Right before your man is about to have an orgasm, lightly grab hold of his testicles, cupping them in your palm. If he enjoys firmer pressure, feel free to grasp more firmly or tug a little, depending on what feels best for him. Having this extra stimulation on his scrotum will intensify his orgasm, as well as allow you to feel his ejaculation from beginning to end.

Have Him Thrust With His Pelvis

Instead of moving your hands alone while your partner sits or lies and receives his handjob, have him thrust with his pelvis while you hold your hands still. Not only does this make getting a handjob feel much different for him, it will also make him feel more in control of his climax. He may be able to reach orgasm faster this way, and it may be a technique you want to use if he takes a long time to reach climax through manual stimulation.

Form “Rings” With Your Thumb And Forefingers

Take your thumb and forefinger and touch them together, forming a “ring” with your fingers. Apply a generous amount of lube to your partner’s penis, and slip the “ring” over his shaft, moving it up and down. Tighten your fingers together as much as is pleasurable to your man. Doing this softly or firmly will change the sensations and you can mix it up between the two for different feelings. You can also increase the pleasure factor of this technique by using both hands – two “rings” instead of one.

Rub Only The Tip Of His Penis

This works well if your partner is uncircumcised or has a very sensitive penis. If he doesn’t and requires firm stimulation of his shaft or scrotum to reach climax, this technique will not work as well. To do this, place a dollop or two of lube in your hand and rub your palm in circular motions over the head of his penis. Hold his shaft with your other hand (or have him hold it for you) so that his penis stays in place. This technique can also be applied to a blowjob as well by simply keeping your mouth on the tip of the penis.

Use Both Hands

Instead of using one hand to give your lover a handjob, why not try using two? Rub the tip of his penis with one hand as indicated above, while massaging his scrotum or stroking his shaft with the other. He’ll love the sensation of two hands on his penis, because the majority of men only use one hand on themselves during masturbation.

Blindfold Him

While it’s true that men are visual creatures (duh – that’s why porn exists), sensory deprivation can be just as hot. Bring this element in to a handjob to make it extra sensational by blindfolding him when you start. The idea of not knowing what is coming next or exactly what you’re doing to create the sensations he’s feeling will get him hotter than ever.

Masturbate – With His Penis

To give yourself pleasure while you’re pleasuring him, try rubbing his penis against your clitoris. You can rub the length of the shaft on it or simply just rub the head of it against you. Either way, it will feel absolutely divine for both you and him. Just make sure you use lots of good lube so everything is nice and slippery.

Describe The Handjob To Him As You’re Doing It

Dirty talk is a great way to spice up just about any sex act, especially a handjob. Describe what you’re going to do to him before you do it, what you’re doing as you do it, what it feels like for you and how much you love it. Use lots of sensual, descriptive language like “hard” or “throbbing.”

Bring In Props

Don’t be afraid to bring a few sex toys into the bedroom when giving your partner a handjob. Male masturbators feel absolutely amazing for guys when used with lube, and cock rings can prolong his erection and make each sensation much more powerful. Experiment with different sex toys to change up the different styles of pleasure you can give him with your hands.

Advanced Masturbation Techniques – Using Sex Toys

By

Let’s face it – masturbation can get boring if you’re doing the same thing over and over. Many men and women feel as though masturbation is meant to be “quick and dirty,” and as a result, they don’t use sex toys or lube to make masturbation better. Take it up a notch by experimenting with different sex toys during masturbation. Sex toys can create different sensations and better orgasms, and they can also be used with your partner during sex. Here are some advanced masturbation techniques to try if you want to spice up your solo time.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztMD1oCamnc[/youtube]

Most People Start Out Masturbating With Their Hands

Because most boys and girls start experimenting with masturbation during their pre-teen years, they usually start out by using their hands to touch themselves and figure out what feels good. Because you have to be 18 or older to purchase sex toys, most younger boys and girls use their hands simply because there is nothing else available to try.

Does that mean you should continue using your hands only during masturbation as an adult man or woman? Of course not! Part of the fun of being an adult is having the ability to try new things in the bedroom, such as watching porn or experimenting with sex toys. Here’s a guide on which sex toys to use for what (for both guys and gals) while you’re masturbating.

Ladies: Try A Rabbit Vibrator

Most women finger themselves during masturbation or use a slim dildo or simple vibrator for insertion. If you’re looking to take it up a notch, try purchasing a Rabbit vibrator. Many women that start using Rabbit vibrators won’t go back! Here’s what Rabbit vibrators have to offer:

  • A “dildo” end that is usually curved to stimulate the g-spot. In many models, the end will vibrate and rotate for extra pleasure.
  • Rotating pearls or beads that stimulate the sensitive areas just inside the vaginal opening
  • An attachment on the front with a separate bullet vibe that stimulates the clitoris
  • Some models have attachments on the back for anal probing and stimulation
  • Rabbit vibrators have a variety of speeds and sensations for customized pleasure

Ladies: Try Using Butt Plugs Or Anal Beads During Masturbation

Many women enjoy anal sex and would like to incorporate anal play during their own masturbation sessions but aren’t sure how or what toys to get. Fortunately, adding anal pleasure to masturbation is easy with the variety of anal sex toys that are available at adult toy stores both online and off.

A small butt plug with a flared end or finger loop is perfect if you’re just getting started or enjoy anal stimulation but don’t want to use something extra large. If you are into something bigger, there are lots of sizes available so you can work your way up in size. You definitely want to start small and then go bigger so your body can get used to it. Remember to use lots and lots of good, water based lube (never, ever desensitizing lube) and stop if it hurts.

Guys: Use Lube

Believe it or not, there are a lot of guys do not use lube when masturbating! Younger boys who are learning to masturbate typically do not use lube because it isn’t available, however, lots of guys still aren’t using lube even well into their adult life. Lube is essential for a great orgasm during masturbation! Some guys use lotion, saliva or soap, but they just don’t cut it when it comes to using what actually feels best.

Silicone lube is excellent for masturbating with your hands because it doesn’t wear off or dry out as quickly as water based lube can, but if you’re masturbating with sex toys or condoms, silicone lube can break them down if they’re made of latex. Water based lubricant is safe for every activity. Just about every guy that starts using lube during masturbation says they’ll never go back to lotion again!

Guys: Use A Masturbation Sleeve

Masturbation sleeves are probably the best invention for male masturbation ever, next to lube. Masturbation sleeves are generally made out of silicone or latex and are made to slip over the penis and moved back and forth while masturbation. Here’s why masturbation sleeves are much, much better than using your hands:

  • When combined with lube, they slip and slide over the penis creating orgasmic sensations
  • The inside of male masturbators are textured or ribbed (and there are hundreds of different kinds) to increase pleasure
  • Many models flip completely inside out for easy cleaning while others are disposable
  • They are the closest you’ll get to the real feeling of sex or a blowjob during masturbation

Guys: Using Cock Rings

Cock rings are an excellent sex toy to use during both masturbation and sex with a partner. A cock ring is designed to slip over the penis and stay at the base of it, trapping blood in the head and shaft and keeping the penis rock hard. This can be used during masturbation to enhance sensations and to prolong orgasm.

Make sure when purchasing cock rings to choose flexible ones. Hard plastic and metal cock rings exist, but they are far less than safe because they can get stuck at the base of the penis by causing the head and shaft to swell so much that it becomes impossible to remove the cock ring without immediate medical intervetion. Flexible cock rings are much, much safer! They come in lots of fun colors (even glow in the dark) and many of them are textured for extra sensations.

Guys: Toys For Anal Stimulation

Lots of guys enjoy anal play during sex or masturbation because the stimulation of the prostate gland from inside the anus can intensify orgasms immensely. This can be done with a number of sex toys, including small, slim vibrators, butt plugs, anal beads and prostate massagers.

There are definitely guys out there that are squeamish about putting anything up their anus, but not to worry – the prostate gland can be stimulated by putting firm pressure on the perineum (the space between a man’s anus and his scrotum). Try laying a strong vibrator on your perineum and massaging it to stimulate the prostate gland.

Remember to use lots and lots of water based lube (do not use it sparingly!) when using any type of anal sex toy or even when using your finger for anal play! This makes anal play much, much more pleasurable and decreases the risk of any kind of tearing or tissue damage!

How To Get Your Girlfriend To Masturbate For You

By

So you want her to masturbate, and you want her to masturbate in front of you. Question is, how do you get her to do it? Some women are cool with talking about masturbation, but some women just aren’t comfortable clicking their own mouse, let alone talking about it with their lovers.  Whether your girl does enjoys flying solo or has never tried it before, watching her get her freak on by herself is something that can entice both of you and make your sex life hotter. Here’s how you can convince her to masturbate – and then do it in front of you!

Tell Her You Want To Watch

Very few women want to watch men masturbate – so telling her that you want to watch her do it may sound unbelievable to her at first. She may think it’s a crazy idea, or that you’re trying to manipulate her in some way so that you can scrutinize her. Of course this isn’t true, but getting her to believe that the idea of watching her masturbate for you is a huge turn on is a different story all together. Try some dirty talk in the bedroom next time you and your lover have sex. While you’re touching her clitoris, let her know how much it would turn you on to see her touch it. Start small and work your way up to the big stuff. She may only start out with letting you watch her play with herself a little, but with constant encouragment and enthusiasm on your part, it won’t be very long before she’s giving you a show.

Give Her Some Assistance During Foreplay

While you’re fingering her or giving her oral sex, place your hand over hers and take it along for the ride. Slowly rub her breasts, hips and lower stomach with your hand underneath hers so she can feel what you feel when you’re having sex with her. Look into her eyes and show her how hot it makes you when you see her touch herself. As you move your hand down to her vagina, let her take the lead once you feel she is sufficiently turned on to keep going. Again, you want to do this slowly because if you move too fast, you could freak her out. You want to let her take the lead and go however fast or slow she wants to. You can also join in and touch her breasts, her buttocks or finger her vagina while she touches her clitoris. If she wants to fly completely solo while you watch though, you can masturbate on your own while you watch her do it!

Masturbate With Her

It’s no problem if you get so turned on by watching her play with herself that you have to touch yourself also. This will actually encourage her to do more! Sit in a chair by the bed, watching her masturbate while she watches you. If you or your partner want it to be less of a “spectator sport” and more intimate, try laying next to each other on the bed, facing each other. Ask her if she likes watching you masturbate as much as you like watching her. Remind her over and over that you absolutely love what she’s doing and simply can’t help but play with yourself! If you still have a hard time getting her to really let go and masturbate for you, try touching yourself while you give her cunnilingus. Let her know that you find her vagina extremely sexy. If she believes that you really enjoy licking it, sucking it and looking at it, she won’t be as self concious about revealing all in front of you.

Dirty Talk

The real secret to getting her to touch herself for you is to talk to her the entire time and let her know how much it really turns you on. Don’t be afraid to be vocal about it, whether it’s groaning while giving yourself a handjob while she masturbates or telling her with words exactly what you like to see. If you make it absolutely clear that watching her touch herself is what makes you super hot and horny, she’ll end up being more than willing to do it for you. Try asking her for a tutorial on how she does it herself, or try directing each move that she makes and have her touch herself where you tell her to. Get creative and most of all, remember to have fun with it. If she’s still uncomfortable with the idea of masturbating in front of you, let it go until she’s ready to do it.