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You are here: Home / Archives for Sex & Intimacy / Orgasm

Why She NEEDS To Climax During Sex

By loveandsex

Female orgasm is something every woman should get when getting busy. But do you know the REAL reason the female orgasm is so important? Find out now!

For sex to be really, really hot, a woman has to get sexual pleasure too. Sure, a woman can still enjoy sex with a man if she doesn’t have an orgasm, but the sex will be simply good, or “okay.” For steamy, forget-your-own-name sex, your girl has to be feeling great and well on her way to having a gut wrenching, thigh shaking climax. If you want the sex to be incredible, she’s got to get off. That’s all there is to it – but there are some other reasons why her orgasm should be at the top of your list when you slide between the sheets.

She’ll Be More Inclined To Get Kinky With You

When a woman is satisfied during sex, she feels like she is getting something out of it too – and she is. You’re giving her the incredible gift of pleasure and sexual release, so she’ll want to give you something back too. It’s in a woman’s nature – she’s naturally a giver. She wants to give you pleasure too, but she can hold back from this if all you care about is your own orgasm. She may start out by giving you great sex, good head and trying new things with you, but if time after time she fails to get off, she really won’t want to give back anymore.

Say for example, you want her to try anal sex or bondage. This isn’t necessarily something she has really thought about, but if she’s with a guy who consistently gives her an orgasm during sex, she’ll feel confident enough that she’ll come out as satisfied as you are and will be more willing to try it. However, if she’s with a guy who couldn’t care less about her orgasm and just wants to get his, she’ll want to ask the question, “What’s in it for me?” Think about it for a minute. Why would she want to try something like anal sex – something that could potentially hurt or be embarrassing – if she’s not going to get diddly squat out of it?

If you were in her shoes and were asked to try something that pushed the boundaries of your comfort zone and the likely scenario is that you wouldn’t even get off, would you do it? Probably not. Don’t be surprised when she doesn’t want to have kinky sex with you if you can’t make her come. On the other hand, however, if you always make sure she’s as satisfied as you are during sex, don’t be surprised when she wants to try everything under the sun with you. When you consistently give your girl orgasms, you unleash her inner sex vixen – and this is a side that almost every woman has.

She only lets it out when she feels safe and cared for by a man in the bedroom – and this is achieved only by putting her pleasure first. When a man has sex with a woman solely for his own pleasure, and doesn’t take the time to make sure she has an orgasm as well, doesn’t feel safe expressing herself in the bedroom and most certainly doesn’t feel like the guy cares about her at all. Once you show her that her pleasure is important to you, and you work hard to give her an orgasm every time you do the nasty, she’ll unleash her inner freak and you’ll be the guy who’s around to enjoy it.

She’ll Want To Have Sex With You More Often

This is a very simple concept, but many guys just don’t get it. If you give her orgasms when you have sex with her, she’ll want to have sex more often. Easy, right? Many guys, however, fail to make a woman climax during sex and then complain when she doesn’t ever want to have sex with him. Why does she want to slide between the sheets when it has simply become a chore for her? Another thing on her to-do list? “Cook dinner, do the dishes, have sex with John, pay the bills….”

You can’t blame a woman for feeling this way about sex when she doesn’t get anything out of it. Wouldn’t you? If a girl never gets off when she has sex with her man, she’s not going to want to have sex very often. Her body just isn’t going to desire it or want it, because truthfully, there’s nothing to desire or want! However, if you consistently give her a climax every time you have sex, her body is going to naturally crave more.

She will want to have sex with you more often, and she will rarely turn you down when she asks. She knows that when she has sex with you that she’s going to feel great, so there’s no reason for her to deny you – because she knows then she would also be denying herself. When she has a climax every time you and her get it on, don’t be shocked when you find that she’s all over you!

She Will Feel More Emotionally Connected To You

Go back to the part where she feels safe and cared about when she climaxes with her partner during sex – this is important. You already know women are emotional creatures (yeah, you can say that again!), but did you know that giving her an orgasm will help her feel more emotionally connected to you? When her partner fails to make sure she gets pleasure from sex, she feels lonely, taken advantage of and uncared for.

She feels like she’s not important enough to her partner for him to spend any amount of time or effort on giving her an orgasm. Therefore, she will begin to emotionally withdraw in the relationship. This can lead to all kinds of problems, and not just problems in between the sheets. The relationship will begin to suffer, because deep down, she believes her partner must not care for her and that he only cares about himself – because he’s demonstrated that during sex by only caring for his own pleasure and sexual release.

She begins to harbor resentment towards her partner and this usually comes out in different ways, outside the bedroom doors. When you do satisfy your lover between the sheets, however, she feels as though she’s important to her partner, and her sexual pleasure is worth his time and effort. When a woman feels confident that her pleasure is as important to her partner as his own is, she feels more like an equal in the relationship and will treat her partner as such.

They’ll still get into fights and arguements like every couple does, however, because she has no deep seated resentment towards him for not caring enough to make her come, the fights will resolve more easily and there will be less of them.

She’ll Nag You Less (Yeah, You Heard That Right)

A woman nags a man when she is unhappy in a relationship – when she is happy and satisfied, she’ll make excuses for him, or make up for his slack. This is just the way women are – they are very willing to trade household chores and other things for feeling loved and cherished. Beware, however, that failing to help around the house at all will in and of itself make her feel like you don’t love and cherish her. So giving her orgasms isn’t your get out of jail free card or anything, but it can certainly help.

You already know now that helping her get off during sex makes her feel great and makes her feel more emotionally connected to you. She feels like you love and care about her, so when you make her come consistently, she will be more willing to make excuses in her head for you when you forget to take out the trash or do the dishes. For example, say your lover absolutely hates it when you leave your underwear on the floor after you take a shower. But the night before, you gave her not one, not two, but three leg shaking,squirting orgasms after which she could barely stand up – all before you even thought about what kind of pleasure you were going to get.

It affected her on so many different levels that she went to bed completely blissed out and woke up that way too. She finds your dirty underwear on the floor, but remembers what went in that underwear and how much pleasure it gave her the night before. She throws them in the hamper and forgets about it five seconds later. Not only will she not bitch you out when you get home, she may very well attack you and rip your clothes off for an encore.

Now reverse that situation. Say you didn’t give her an orgasm the night before. You fingered her for less than two minutes assuming that would get her turned on and wet (which it didn’t, it actually just hurt and pissed her off) and proceeded to thrust into her for a total of five minutes, after which you got yours and rolled over and went to sleep. She went to bed feeling frustrated and unloved.

The next day, she finds your dirty underwear on the floor. She’s already pissed, and now this has made her even more angry, because it just adds to her belief that you are inconsiderate and couldn’t care less about her and her feelings. She remembers what went in that underwear and how it assaulted her the night before. She throws them in the hamper and absolutely does not forget about it – she thinks about it all day and stews over it, getting angrier and angrier and probably finding other things that you did wrong to bitch at you for.

When you get home, be prepared for her to light into you before you even get your work clothes off. In fact, she may very well call you on your lunch break to give you a preview of the verbal reaming you can expect when you get home.

Getting regularly satisfied during sex changes the way a woman looks at her man in a relationship, and it changes the way she thinks about his mistakes. It’s far easier for women to write off their partners’ shortcomings and focus on the things he does to make her happy – like incredible orgasms – than it is to stew over the things he does wrong.

Women prefer to make excuses for their men when they’re getting something out of the relationship. And it’s far easier for you as a man to make her come than to listen to constant nagging. By making sure your lover is regularly and consistently satisfied during sex, you’re really making your own life easier. And hers. It’s a win-win situation and the sex will be super hot.

So are you ready to learn what it takes to give her mind blowing, sheet soaking orgasms?

Filed Under: Orgasm Tagged With: better sex, climax, female orgasm, orgasm, sex tips

How To Have Great Sex And Enjoy STUNNING Orgasms

By lloydlester

Sex tips can improve your love life and help you and your girl have better sex than you EVER dreamed possible? Want to know the secret? Here it is!

Giving your woman incredible pleasure and making sure she gets an orgasm every time is a great way to enjoy sex. Now how about taking this up a notch and make your own climax even more awesome and spectacular?

Here are 2 brilliant tips to enjoy sex that is totally mind-blowing – for the both of you!

Prolong Your Staying Power

Let’s face it. The vast majority of men reach an orgasm BEFORE their women. But if you can hold back your own climax until she achieves hers, you will make your own ejaculation stronger, harder and infinitely more pleasurable when it arrives.

Instead of tuning into the sensations that envelop your genitals when you have sex, focus on how the pleasurable feelings surge through your ENTIRE body. When you sense an orgasm is approaching, stop for a while, or simply slow down your thrusts. Or take this opportunity to continue give her a “pleasure continuum” through oral sex (hint: women love this!). This will enable your arousal to come down several notches until you are ready to thrust again. Repeat this process until you ready to let go.

Hold Your Orgasm In

When an ejaculation nears, you will feel some involuntary contractions in your pelvis area. Just before this happens, squeeze your PC (or pubococcygeus) muscle and hold it in for as long as possible. The PC muscle is the same muscle you use to disrupt the flow of urine. When your orgasm finally arrives – because you have intentionally held it back – it will burst forth with all its might, giving you an extremely pleasurable sensation during the final release.

Now here’s the thing. The PC muscle – just like any muscles on your body – needs to be strong in order for you to prolong your ejaculation. For most guys, the PC muscle is relatively weak by default, because it has not been exercised before!

The good news is, it is very easy to strengthen the PC muscle. Start practicing Kegel exercises simply by contracting and holding your PC muscle for 5 minutes each day. Within a week, it will be significantly strengthened to the point that you can use it to effectively hold back an orgasm until you are ready.

A sensational orgasm will turn HER on too!

When you experience an awesome climax, your wife or girlfriend will feel GREAT too. She will feel very turned on and will want to do it with you every time you have sex! So make it a point to give her a great climax first, and use the 2 tips above to achieve a powerful orgasm yourself. Your sex life will never be the same again!

Filed Under: Orgasm Tagged With: better sex, hot sex, orgasm, sex tips

Why Her Fake Orgasm Is YOUR Fault!

By loveandsex

An orgasm that is faked is your fault. There is is no wiggle room. You go at foreplay for all you’re worth and she starts making those tell-tale noises in your ear to let you know that you’re turning her on.

Just as she’s getting in the mood for more, you take a dive down south and stick in a finger to see if the waters are warm. If she’s not ready, it’s back to the testing phase – a little more kissing, necking, nipples and bum.

This back and forth is not only annoying when we aren’t aroused yet, but makes us feel pressured. the only thing that seems to make a difference toward the success of women who overcome sexual dysfunction is the commitment of their mates.

Wet Doesn’t Mean Ready

If your wife is warm and wet when you test her out, do you take that as a sign that it’s time for sex and head straight for intercourse? Not so fast! Being lubricated and being open for sex is not the same thing. DeAngelis explains that lubricant can be affected by a number of factors – nutrition, exercise, medications, hydration, emotions and cyclical hormones – and warns,

“Don’t assume just because we’re wet that we’re ready. Our body and mind need to be open before intercourse will feel good to us.” Don’t fall victim to the belief that if you don’t “strike while the iron is hot” she will become less aroused as you continue to stimulate her before having “real” (i.e. penetrative) sex.

The opposite is true, unless she’s really tired, in which case there’s no magic you can do besides giving her a chance to get the rest she needs. She will learn to lovingly live with it, much more than she would learn to live with you being standoffish, awkward and emotionally distant because you’re always “waiting for the right time.”

Are We There Yet?

You hate it when the kids can’t stop asking, right? You don’t want to be the big five-year-old in your relationship, do you? It is time to get with the program.

It’s Not Always About Orgasm

Yes, women like orgasms. We are human after all, and our bodies are programmed for pleasure. Perhaps it is the fact that men are three to five times more likely than women to orgasm during every sexual encounter but we women don’t need sex to be so goal-oriented.

Sure, it might be fun to play a game once in a while, just to see how many orgasms your wife can have, but she doesn’t want every sexual moment to be a marathon. Each encounter doesn’t have to be an event – sometimes it’s nice to just relax and enjoy the sensations and emotions of being together.

No Pushing

In other words, stop acting like it’s the end of the world if your woman doesn’t come! What is the point of being passive aggressive? Bullying your partner into enjoying herself is pretty counter-intuitive, right? Sex is supposed to be about feeling good and there are plenty of good feelings that may not lead directly to orgasm.

Heck, if she gets there every time, she’s doing better than 85% of other women out there, and only about half report having orgasms during sex “often.”

A Watched Pot Never Boils

I like sex. In fact, I love it. I love orgasms, too. But when my husband would ask me over and over if I was “there yet?” it drove me mad! Sure, it was nice to know that he cared one way or the other. But the pressure to perform for him was so overwhelming; I would end up faking just to get him to stop asking.

No woman wants to be pestered about her orgasm. Honestly, if you have to ask, you haven’t fingered her well enough yet to make her body tell you of its own volition.

In this case, that is where you should be focusing your energy, not pushing your orgasmic expectations and your trivial real-world cares and stresses onto her exactly when she needs to relax and let go the most.

Great Expectations

Let me put this very simply. If you can’t tell whether or not your partner has had an orgasm, you better stop acting like Casanova and trying to collect orgasms like trophies. When you can recognize the tell-tale signs of an orgasm, put your mouth to good use and make it happen!

And I don’t mean by talking at her incessantly until she fakes it so you’ll shut up and leave her be. Sometimes, I am just not in the mood for wild sex and multiple orgasms, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to cuddle or play. Just because your wife might not up for The Big O doesn’t mean you can’t work on one for you, or suggest a bit of mutual masturbation!

Many women will start to experience the onset of sexual desire after getting started, so a slightly-less-than-enthusiastic response isn’t the kiss of death.  Foreplay is the secret to get any woman to respond the right way.

Filed Under: Orgasm Tagged With: female orgasm, foreplay, kissing, orgasm, sex tips

The Female Orgasm Black Book Review

By loveandsex

The Female Orgasm Black Book is a handy guide on how to give a woman incredible, mind blowing orgasms. Your girl will love the techniques i this book! This manual is a plain-and-simple, instructional guide on how to give women mind blowing orgasms. The information is intended to help, men, women and couples achieve female orgasms and have a more fulfilling sexual relationship.

The Good

Lee Jenkins, the author of the Female Orgasm Black Book, seems to know just about everything there is to know about female orgasms! Whether you want to know about female anatomy, the basics of a female orgasm or how to give your girl an orgasm in a variety of different ways, this ebook has more information than you’ll know what to do with! This is truly a “one stop shop” when it comes to learning about female orgasms.

The Bad

The introduction contains lots of useful information, but those looking to get down to business may find it a bit long winded. Also, getting to the big “O” is a two way street – she needs to learn how to be open to receiving an orgasm because if she’s not, your best efforts will be wasted. Unfortunately, the “Tips For The Woman In Your Life” section is a bit short and leaves plenty to be desired if your woman wants to learn how she can best prepare herself for an orgasm. A great companion manual to the Female Orgasm Black Book is Faster Female Orgasm, written by Jessica Perez. Here your partner will learn how to control her own orgasms, so she can have one every time!

The Bottom Line

The Female Orgasm Black Book is a great tool for learning all there is to know about a woman and how she reaches orgasm. Lee understands the importance of not only arming yourself with lots of “tips and tricks” to use in the bedroom, but also with the knowledge of how a woman’s body and mind really works. There’s no way you won’t be a master of female orgasms if you read the Female Orgasm Black Book in its entirety and truly employ the techniques he teaches in the bedroom.

The Full Female Orgasm Black Book Review

Lee starts the Female Orgasm Black Book off with a great introduction, explaining in depth just what exactly an orgasm is for a woman and what it means both physically and emotionally for her to get one. Then he’s off to the races for a very detailed lesson in female anatomy, where he illustrates everything from the all-important clitoris to the lesser known and harder to find g-spot. While the chapter on anatomy may make you feel a bit like you’re studying for a test in advanced gynecology, Lee’s intentions here are hard to argue with. Knowing a woman’s sexual anatomy backwards and forwards will give you quite the edge when it comes time to actually give your lover an orgasm.

For many men, a woman’s g-spot is difficult, if not impossible to find. However, Lee goes into detail with both verbal and pictoral instructions telling you not only how to find a woman’s g-spot but also how to stimulate it and leave her absolutely breathless. He also goes in depth about a woman’s other sensitive spots, because any woman will tell you that going straight for the gold will usually get you nowhere. The Female Orgasm Black Book will tell you exactly which spots on your lover’s body will have her writhing in pleasure, without even touching her vulva!

Perhaps the most powerful section of the Female Orgasm Black Book is the “Female Orgasm Blueprint” found in Chapter 4. Lee takes the elusive female orgasm and breaks it down into sections, teaching you step by step how to bring your partner to orgasm again and again. You’ll find helpful maps and diagrams that actually show you how a woman’s orgasm happens from start to finish. Lee also goes into great detail to explain how a woman’s body reacts to excitement and the things you need to look for to let you know you’re on the right track to giving her the big “O.”

Lee wraps up the Female Orgasm Black Book with lots of helpful tips on how to help your partner become sexually attracted to you, how to get her to relax and open up to having an orgasm and an ultra explicit section on how to perform oral sex on her. Many oral sex oriented guides give vague tips on how to go down on a woman, but Lee actually gives you numbered diagrams and an actual step by step,fool proof instruction manual on how to lick a woman into orgasmic frenzy.

Included with the download of the Female Orgasm Black Book are several handy “special reports,” including:

Best Sex Positions

A short but sweet manual highlighting the best positions for female orgasms, including several positions you’ve never tried as well as some great twists on old classics like missionary or woman on top. Sex positions really are the “creme de la creme” of sex, and this manual will give you ideas on sex positions that you’ve never thought of before! Sex will never be boring again, and you’re bound to find tons of sex positions that will soon become you and your partner’s new favorites.

Orgasm Mastery

A manual full of exercises that you and your partner can do outside of the bedroom to increase her chances of having an orgasm inside the bedroom, such as tongue exercises for you and pelvic floor exercises for her. Learning step by step techniques will only get you so far when it comes to giving her an orgasm. If her muscles aren’t in peak form, it could take longer for hear to reach orgasm, and if your tongue isn’t in great shape, you’re going to tire easily. The tips in the Orgasm Mastery manual will prepare her for great orgasms and you for marathon oral sex!

Female Orgasm Blueprint

A detailed, graphic flow chart that takes you from the beginning of a woman’s orgasm to the end, and highlighting all the stages in between. A must have tool for truly understanding how the female orgasm works. Never before have you seen a female orgasm depicted this way, in an easy to understand flow chart that shows you step by step where she’s at in her orgasm and where she’s going next. An absolute must read if you want to really understand and control a woman’s pleasure.

Filed Under: Orgasm

How To Get Her To Orgasm Faster During Sex

By loveandsex

An orgasm will depend on a woman’s physiology. The only marker you really have on any timeline is based on how long it normally takes whenever the two of you have had sex in the past. But what if it’s been ages since the last time you had sex, or if she has yet been able to orgasm during intercourse?

Give Her Time

There are some ladies who take a long while to get where they need to be before experiencing orgasm. With such a vast number of factors involved in the process, it is a delicate juggle that may or may not line up on any given night. Some women, however, have the self-knowledge, experience, confidence and wherewithal to climax in record time.

Maybe she can elicit what she needs from her body just by thinking sexy thoughts, or maybe she has a partner that really knows how to get her motor running. Maybe, just maybe, your wife is one of the rare few who barely need any assistance at all! These are the women that the rest of us envy.

Know The Factors That Affect Her Orgasm

Many factors affect a woman’s ability to orgasm, such as her mindset, where she is in her menstrual cycle, any positive or negative sexual experiences she may have experienced in the past, where and how she spent her day, how much stress she’s under, even the things she has eaten or ingested including food, water, drugs, alcohol and/or medications.

Some of these things will affect her positively – fond memories from a smell or a touch can send her right into sexy space, or small amounts of booze might help her to loosen up when she’s feeling anxious. Others, like fatty foods, excess alcohol and many prescription medications, will only serve to dampen her sexual fire.

Find Out If She Orgasms During Masturbation

Ask your lady if she masturbates and experiences orgasm on her own. If she does, she’s likely to orgasm during sexual intercourse far more easily than her non-masturbatory counterparts.

Don’t bother asking her how long she takes as an indicator of how long it’ll take while you’re inside of her though; like you when you touch your own cock, she knows her body so well that masturbation will get her to climax consistently much faster than any other method.

What will help to move things along is extended foreplay before penetrative intercourse – fingering and oral sex are sure to get her nice and warm before penetration. You’ll get her that much further along the path to climax this way, so that her juices are revved and ready to go when you make the transition from foreplay to intercourse.

Find Out What She Likes

Ask her to show you what she does on her own, or what angles, pressure and rhythm she really enjoys. If you can get to know what gets her off solo, you’ll be that much closer to learning what really makes her tick.

All of this information doesn’t truly answer the question though, does it? I’m not avoiding it, I promise. I just want to ensure that you understand all of the factors involved before you start checking the clock and timing your lover’s orgasmic process.

In a nutshell, most women take anywhere from ten to thirty minutes to achieve orgasm during penetrative sex. That time frame doesn’t include foreplay or aftercare, but rather direct clitoral head stimulation or G-Spot play during intercourse.

Filed Under: Orgasm Tagged With: better sex, female orgasm, fingering, foreplay, orgasm, sex tips

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