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Can Men Really Have Multiple Orgasms?

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A woman has the ability to have more than one orgasm in a day or even more than one orgasm per sexual episode – sometimes one right after the other.

Many people believe that this is something gender exclusive and that men can’t achieve the same experience – but is that really true?

We’re going to take a look at both the physical – and social – boundaries that might (or might not) be keeping men from having more than one big O.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

There are many drugs out there to keep a man arouse, my husband doesn’t have this problem…

Are there drugs out there to help him have multi-orgasms?
(speaking about more than 1 per day.. not necessarily more than once per ‘event’).

– Jenn, Georgia

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7jkbX3C8NM[/youtube]

Think men can’t orgasm more than once? Think again!

It’s a common misconception that men can’t have more than one orgasm, but sadly it’s a misconception held by many people – both men and women.  There are plenty of different factors that come into play here and it’s important to take an in-depth look at each one.

Let’s take a look at social boundaries for a minute.

Before we address a man’s ability to be multi-orgasmic or not, we need to clarify the meaning of an “orgasm,” especially for a man.  Generally, most people believe that for a man, ejaculation and orgasm are one in the same.

It might be surprising to hear, but they’re not!  It is quite possible for a man to have an orgasm without ejaculation and sometimes even the other way around.

As a whole, people are very focused and goal oriented, even when it comes to something as enjoyable as sex.  Some people feel that giving their partners more than one orgasm is an “achievement” of sorts and before too long, it becomes a race to see how many orgasms you can give them – so much to the point that some people actually forget about their own pleasure.

Just a quick note – orgasm is not the be all and end all of sex.  You can enjoy sex just as much without one, so make sure that if you’re trying for multiple orgasms, you’re still enjoying the ride.

With that said, can a man have an orgasm even if he’s already ejaculated?

Sure, but it might take some practice.  Of course, this isn’t like piano practice when you were eight – this is fun practice!  You and your partner can have a blast experimenting sexually to try to achieve multiple orgasms.

Just make sure there’s no pressure to perform or judgment from either side.  This can seriously put a damper on the mood and the ability to have more than one orgasm.

What if he can’t?

While it’s certainly possible that men can have more than one orgasm (even after ejaculation), it’s also possible that they can’t.  While you should get any suspicious conditions checked out by a reputable doctor, in the absence of any other symptoms and a doctor’s diagnosis, not having the ability to be multi-orgasmic is not a problem in and of itself.

So relax!  It’s also not a death sentence – if he can’t have more than one orgasm now, it doesn’t mean he won’t be able to later.  Just go with the flow.

There are lots of things you can do to help the situation – books are a great starting point.  There are lots of books about sex (namely tantric sex, which focuses more on the orgasm and not the ejaculation) and how to achieve more than one orgasm.

Your local bookstore should be able to help you out.  There are also great resources online – just make sure you’re getting your information from a reputable website.

Above all, remember to have fun.  It’s not a race – so enjoy your partner and make the most of it!

Frustrated Girl – Why Can’t I Have An Orgasm With My Partner?

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So you’re not able to orgasm with your partner – you’re not alone.  That said, it can be more than frustrating and enough to make you swear off sexual activity all together.

Some women are unable to have an orgasm at all, but the vast majority are women that can have an orgasm – by themselves.  What can you do if you’re only able to reach the big “O” when you’re flying solo?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’ve only been  able to orgasm through masturbation while I visualize my private fantasies and feel comfortably alone. My boyfriend and I have been trying to get me to orgasm with oral sex or anything without sex.

Do you have any advice on how to relax and orgasm in the presence of my boyfriend?  Or with my boyfriend doing it to me without having sex?

–Carmen,Arizona

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKOIHfhLODg[/youtube]

Realize there’s an emotional factor

For women, sexual activity – of any kind – is an extremely emotional and private matter.  For you to be able to share your orgasm with your partner, you need to trust your partner and feel completely comfortable in their presence.

Sure, you may feel comfortable naked in their presence, but what about being emotionally naked?  If you trust your partner, you’ll be able to lay out your deepest fantasies and desires without the fear of rejection or shame.  If your foundation of trust isn’t at its strongest, work on that before you worry about having an orgasm with your partner.

Go slow.

You’ve established a trusting, emotional connection with your partner and now you’re ready for more.  It’s time to lay it all out there – what turns you on?  How do you like to be touched?  What feels good to you?  Sharing these things with your partner can help them know what will bring you to orgasm.

Don’t be afraid to guide your partner in the right direction – you know what you want but it’s not going to do anyone any good if you keep it all to yourself.  If you feel ready to take the next step, start slow.  You don’t have to take the plunge all at once.  Go step by step until you’re comfortable with a little more and a little more.

Try mutual masturbation.

Sure, it sounds embarrassing.  Really embarrassing.  It doesn’t have to be, especially if you and your partner are completely comfortable around each other.  Mutual masturbation can help “break the ice” before experiencing an orgasm with your partner.  You’re not on completely foreign territory here – you’re pleasuring yourself with tried and true methods but you can experience an orgasm in the presence of your partner.

You’ll be pleasantly surprised to find out that it’s not as bad as it sounds!  If you’re still a little nervous about masturbating with your partner, try it with the lights completely out.  It may make you feel more comfortable releasing your inhibitions.

Above all, sharing an orgasm with your partner is all about trust.  If you find that you simply cannot experience an orgasm with your partner – even during mutual masturbation – but reaching orgasm by masturbation alone is not a problem, you may have deeper seated trust issues with your partner that you need to work through.

More often than not, however, you’ll find that letting go of your fears and letting your partner in is more emotionally rewarding than frightening.  You and your partner will have a level of intimacy that you never thought possible when you begin experiencing orgasms together.

Is Your Woman Faking Her Orgasms?

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Ever seen a porno film? Of course you have! And did you really think that all those ‘climaxes’ were for REAL? Of course not. Many of them were for REEL.

So how can YOU tell the difference if your woman starts to fake her orgasms with you too?

How to Spot a Fake Orgasm

Many men don’t want to admit it, but just because she ‘screams’ doesn’t mean she’s reached her sexual climax. According to studies, 70% to 75% of women don’t reach an orgasm during sexual intercourse. This means if you’re woman has been shouting, kicking and screaming all the time, there’s a 70% to 75% chance she’ been faking an orgasm with you!

Here are some tips to tell if she is ‘faking it’.

She’s too loud

Is she too ‘loud’? Thanks to adult or x-rated movies, we now have this image that if a woman is ‘cumming’ she should be shouting from the top of her lungs (can’t contain the sexual pleasure you know).

Again, this is really just all for ‘show’. Most women who DO experience orgasms say that they are actually not noisy at all. They would rather ‘feel’ the intenseness of cumming rather than to drown it with their own loud voices.

Body language

How is her body reacting? Your woman may be shouting till your neighbors hear her, but is her body displaying the same intense emotions? Her body is not THAT different from yours when YOU reach your climax. As such, her body should also be ‘contracting’ like yours.

For instance, her anus and vagina should be clenching or contracting when she reaches an orgasm. If you’re having sexual intercourse and she’s indicating that she’s cumming, check if you feel a certain ‘tightness’ around your penis.

Why? Because during a real orgasm, a woman’s vagina should be clenching strongly at around 1 contraction every 0.8 seconds. And ‘faking’ this pace is quite difficult to master.

Also, check her skin, is she flushed from all that release of sexual tension? If not, she may be faking it.

How about her eyes? Are her pupils a bit dilated and have that certain glassy sheen? If not and her face registers a ‘blank’, then she’ probably just faked an orgasm.

Do I really want to know?

You may be wondering why you would want to know if she’s faking her orgasms anyway, right? Well, let’s put it this way. Would YOU be interested in sex if you never reached an orgasm? Probably not! What does that spell for your relationship in the future?

So knowing if she’s faking it will enable you to take the necessary steps to make making love better for her. And as you know a sexually satisfied woman, can be verrrrry grateful in bed.

It’s a win-win situation!

3 Ways To Intensify Your Orgasms and Intimacy During Lovemaking

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Did you know that one of the best ways to intensify orgasms and the overall lovemaking experience is by having prolonged foreplay?

It’s true. Including “prolonged foreplay,” you’re about to learn three ways to add new levels of passion and excitement to your lovemaking that will bring you and your partner even closer. So here we go!

1. Prolong your foreplay

An extended period of foreplay amplifies your sexual experience because it gives you time to build up sexual anticipation. Why does this work? It’s just human nature. Think about a big event in your life. Whether it be a party, a holiday, or a major movie launch, chances are that you were so excited by the buildup and buzz that it made the experience 10 times better.

Well, the same rules apply to making love. So next time you spend some time under the sheets, make a conscious effort to explore your partner’s body. Leave a trail of kisses all over their body, run your fingers along their skin and gaze lovingly into their eyes.

The more time you spend devoted to foreplay, the greater the experience for both of you. And if you want to feel the magic even more then…

2. Try new things with a “twist”

Now don’t get me wrong here, I’m not talking about JUST trying a new lovemaking position, tip, technique or even location. While these things would definitely spice things up, you can make your experience even more fulfilling, simply by using a little added creativity.

For example: Why not learn a new technique––pack a picnic and head to a beautiful park for the day. And if you find a private spot, who knows what might end up happening?  Going on dates like these helps to bring back the magic that made you fall in love in the first place.

3. Play bedroom games

Tasteful, fun and alluring sex games are one of the best ways to intensify orgasms and the entire lovemaking experience. Not only are they extremely fun and have a lot of ‘replay value,’ but they actually accomplish BOTH the other tips at the same time too!

Because when you play a sex game you…
1. Automatically extend foreplay in a fun and interesting way
2. Try new things that the game tells you to do

And even while some games only consist of familiar tips and moves, you’ll be using them in new scenarios, which actually makes them feel new.

Maybe you’ll use a deck of cards or dice to create your own passionate play. Perhaps you’ll adapt a sport game for the bedroom. Or maybe you’ll just want to use your bodies as the props. It doesn’t matter. Simply get excited and unleash some creativity!

So if you want to create a magical experience, remember there’s no better way than playful game that combines both prolonged foreplay and trying new things.

Top 10 Tips To Give Women An Orgasm

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Did you know that women can experience different types of orgasms and can even have multiple orgasms? It’s true! Unfortunately, many women can go years without an orgasm from their partner, and we all know how hard it is to satisfy a woman. Here are 10 tips to increase the chances she’ll reach climax, including the secret to multiple orgasms:

Start outside the bedroom

Want to increase the chances she’ll orgasm? When was the last time you surprised her with a little drawing, letter or flowers and sent them to her at work? Believe it or not, creative and romantic gestures DO turn women on because love and lovemaking are interconnected in a woman’s brain. Do this and you can bet-your-bottom-dollar you’ll be doing more than just eating dinner when she walks in the door! 🙂

Relax her

It’s very hard for women to orgasm if they are stressed. Give her a quick back massage. Rub her shoulders, upper back and neck to melt away the tension.

Ignore the vagina

Did you know that prolonged foreplay actually increases the chances of her coming? That’s right. By kissing, caressing and touching her LONGER, you’ll build the sexual tension and often the anticipation will be very powerful.

Change your focus

If you focus all your attention on the woman first, you’ll make love to her much more passionately. Think about it! If you’ve finished first and decide to help her come, you won’t have the enthusiasm and passion that’s needed to keep her hot and turned on.

Tip to last longer

Of course the first step to help her reach orgasm is by not coming. The best way I’ve found to not come is: Penetrate as normal and when you feel like you’re about to come, simply move your hips in a circular motion (like swaying a hula hoop) and wait until the “little guys” subside again. Now continue pleasuring. 😀

Don’t use lubricants

Women have a natural lubricant that fills the vagina when they’re turned on. By using a product substitute, you’re only fooling yourself. Without products, you’ll instantly know if things are working; but with them, you can never be sure. * Editor’s note: use this tip with caution; we’ve always found lubricants to be helpful.

Never too much clitoris

Did you know that once you’ve stimulated the clitoris for some time, a little thing called the clitoral hood will actually come out and cover the clitoris to protect it from further direct stimulation? (And no, I’m not making this up!) The point is, once the clitoris is fully stimulated, make sure you pleasure the G-spot next, whether it be with your hand, tongue or penis.

Find and stimulate the G spot

The G-spot is a zone that feels like the roof of your mouth and is located about 2 inches inside the vagina on the topside. (On the underside of her stomach.) There are two basic ways you can pleasure the G. With your fingers by doing a “come here” motion or with a love position that helps hit the G-spot…

Use the best position

Not all sex positions are made equal. The best one for women is the reverse missionary (woman on top). This is probably the easiest position for a woman to climax because she can control the friction to her clitoris and/or G-spot.

Give her oral sex

The single best way to help a woman reach orgasm, even multiple orgasms, is by going down on her (cunnilingus). While at first I didn’t believe it, countless studies have been done to prove this fact. Oral sex is easier and much more satisfying for women than intercourse is. Try the ABC’s with your tongue, ask what she likes, and mix it up with lots of different movements! However be VERY careful! With over 6,000 nerve endings in the clitoris, make sure you know everything there is to know before poking your tongue around there, otherwise it could be really painful and, even worse, spoil the mood. So there you have it – 10 tips you can start using right away to give women the most earth-shattering experience of their lives.