Sex Tips & Advice

Why Flowers And Jewelry Are Murdering Your Sex Life

Have you ever sprung for a fancy night out on the town, a lavish bouquet of flowers or a piece of sparkly jewelry that makes your paycheck want to shrivel up and commit ritual suicide, thinking it was going to light a MAJOR fire in your sex life?

Only to find yourself hours later, feeling frustrated, horny and ripped off, staring at the ceiling, cursing your hard on and wondering why the night of head-board-cracking passion you were desperately dreaming of failed to materialize?

If you have, you sure as heck ain’t alone!

“I ain’t saying’ she’s a gold digger , but she ain’t messing with no broke bloke” – Kanye West

“Are those space pants? Because they make your ass look out of this WORLD” – Unknown.

Fact is a the world is chock full guys who have been brainwashed into thinking that the way to turn a woman on (whether she’s your wife, your girlfriend or even just that hot and sultry check out girl who always mangles your bread with such erotic passion) is by “being romantic” and “buying her stuff.”

Why Buying Romantic Stuff Won’t Get You Laid

It’s totally insulting to women and paints them as “gold diggers” who’s motors go into overdrive thanks to physical things (I think you can agree with me if you’re on this site that women are sexy, wonderful, awesome and smell great.)
It’s complete and utter BULLSHIT.

No Woman Can Really Be Seduced By Flowers

Despite what the romance industry and “Sex In The City” would tell you, NO WOMAN actually gets turned on by flowers (or by jewelry, or by super-price tickets to Cats. Actually, tickets to Cats might be grounds for divorce in some states.)

Now, I’m not saying your wife (or girlfriend or the mail carrier with the delectable thighs) won’t sleep with you if you shell out a lot of cash for on her.

A lot of women, when faced with a big bouquet, a bottle (or three) of good wine or a rock that makes your monthly mortgage look like pocket change will lay back and LET you make sweet (boring) love them out of a sense of duty or gratitude.

But There’s a Huge Difference Between Gratitude and LUST

Out of a sense of GRATITUDE, your wife (or girlfriend or that one waitress with the sexy limp) might LET you have your way with her .

But she probably won’t ENJOY it. She won’t BRAG to her friends about what an amazing lover you are and she won’t count down the moments until the next time she can pounce on you like a lioness digging into a porterhouse steak.

Bringing back my high school algebra, the equation is:

“Materialistic Romance” = “Sense of Gratitude and Duty” = Boring “by the numbers” sex where you think about porn stars and she thinks about knitting, or no sex at all because you’re both “too tired” and “married people don’t have that much sex anyway.”

Getting into her lizard brain and TURNING HER ON = Overwhelming, logic-killing lust = Silly grins, swishing hips, orgasms that make you pass out and the kind of cheat-proof marriage that builds nations and rolls back unfair taxation.

Pretty big difference, huh?

So how do you actually TURN YOUR WOMAN ON?

You don’t do it by “buying her stuff.”

How To REALLY Turn Her On

You’ve probably heard this before, but a woman’s biggest erogenous zone is her MIND (while a man’s biggest erogenous zone is his stomach. Wait, that’s probably not quite right.)

And the biggest way to “tickle” that erogenous zone – blowing past all her defenses, making her feel like you’re the ONE MAN who understands how to turn her on and get her so hot and ready she eye-f*cks the check out boy at the supermarket – is with stories and WORDS .

The simple fact is if you can TALK to your woman, draw her attention to the fires burning in her body and engage her imagination, you’ll have the “bed-destroying” sex you’ve been craving since your honeymoon, and that no amount of flowers, overpriced entrees or blood diamonds can ever replicate.

I’ll be teaching you some specifics about how to use language to turn any woman on in my next few articles.

In the meantime…

How To Fake An Orgasm – He’ll Never Know

By jessicaperez

Before I dish out some great tips on how to fake an orgasm, let me clarify a few things.

First, let me start off by saying I hate having to fake an orgasm, and I’m sure many women feel the same way. You’re just fooling yourself, keeping your sexuality hidden and preventing your man from really knowing how to turn you on intensely enough for you to get off. However, I do not hate the women who fake. They have their reasons.

Second, I may hate faking orgasms now, but I certainly did my share of faking when I didn’t know any better. Why did I fake? I usually faked whenever I felt like the sex is getting nowhere and the man I’m with won’t quit pinching, poking and senselessly humping with a limp penis until I tell him I have reached orgasm. I wanted to give him a break, because I could tell that all he wants to do is sleep (after all, he has already climaxed). Yes, I cared that much.

If you’re ever in the same pinch, here are some ways to fake an orgasm so that he will never know I faked…

Bite Your Lower Lip

I don’t know where men got this notion, but some guys believe that a girl is about to climax if she bites her lower lip. Close your eyes tight as you can as you bite your lip to indicate that you’re “coming.”

Moan Loudly

Most guys have been gorging on porno movies ever since they learned about sex. They have been trained to believe that a woman screaming her lungs out during sex is reaching orgasm. Because of this, you can fake climax by moaning loudly, and shrieking after a series of loud moans. If you want an example of how to do this, check out Jenna Jameson’s old porno videos. Boy, that girl can scream!

Tell Him You’re Coming

According to porno films, all women are considerate enough to tell a man they’re going to climax before they actually climax. This makes a guy go faster, and hump harder, so he can join her.

Simply moaning out loud won’t do. You actually have to articulate the words “I’m coming” so that he will know.

Scratch His Back

The stereotypical sight of a woman scratching a man’s back when she reaches orgasm is considered one of the best ways to tell when a girl is coming.

You can simply dig your nails on his back while you’re “almost there” and scratch down ruthlessly when you’re supposedly “there”. He will forgive you for the scratch because, after all, you were in the throes of climax and you didn’t know what you were doing.

Clench Your Muscles

There are some guys who are experienced enough to know when a girl is faking and when she really is reaching orgasm. But there’s a move that most guys mistake for orgasm. It’s the clenching of the vaginal muscles. When you climax for real, the muscles inside your vagina move sporadically.

You can’t control the sporadic movements, but you can simulate the muscular movements by consciously tightening the vaginal muscles around the shaft of the penis. Hold it for a few minutes and he thinks you have successfully reached orgasm.

4 MORE Reasons Women Hate Blowjobs

By michaelfiore

Oral sex can be challenging for a girl – there are many reasons why she doesn’t want to give you a blowjob. Here are four things that keep her from giving head.

1. Good Girls Don’t Do That

This one often comes from a religious or conservative upbringing where she was taught that giving head is a “sin” or something that “good girls” don’t do. And guys actually make this WORSE by treating a blowjob as the “holy grail” of sexuality or trying to PRESSURE her into doing it.

Getting over the “good girl” stigma is actually pretty easy. Just keep reading.

2. She’s Scared To Swallow Or She Doesn’t Like The Taste

I blame porn. A lot of guys have this unrealistic expectation that women should be EAGER to swallow. In the real world, women that really LIKE doing that are pretty rare (and treasured like the beautiful unicorns they are.) For now, I want you to take swallowing off the table completely. That’s not what we’re going for yet. Once you get more advanced you can learn some techniques for getting her to want to swallow and maybe even enjoy it. But you’ve got to crawl before you can skateboard.

3. She Thinks You’re A Hypocrite For Asking

She just might be right about that.

I can’t even tell you how many emails I’ve gotten from women saying “Mike, I give my husband slow, deep, wonderful blowjobs but he REFUSES to go down on me! What do I do!”

Plain and simple, if you want your woman to get into the idea of giving you oral sex on a regular basis (and really getting INTO it) you’ve got to be willing and EAGER to do the same for her.

Yeah, I know, some guys “hate” doing that, don’t like the smell, think it’s not “manly” or whatever. And my advice to you is to GET THE #@$@ OVER IT. If you want to get, you have to give. And you have to give REALLY well. So next time you and your woman are going at it, kiss your way down her stomach, pray to whatever gods you worship and get to work. It’ll be worth it, I promise.

4. She Doesn’t Think She’s Any Good At Oral Sex

This is actually huge.

When I was doing my research for this training I heard from woman after woman that one of the biggest reasons they didn’t like giving head was because they didn’t think they were any good at it.

Fact is most women have “low blowjob self esteem” and are petrified that you’re going to tell them what they’re doing “isn’t as good as your ex girlfriend” or “ doesn’t measure up in some way.”

(Tangentially, this low self esteem is a huge part of the “sex problem” I see in so many relationships. The woman doesn’t feel truly sexy, desired or “good” at sex, so she takes it off the table. This sometimes happens due to no fault of the guy at all.)

A huge part of what you need to do is to start BUILDING up her sexual self esteem (both around blowjobs and around sex in general.)

It won’t take long and your woman will feel worlds better about her ability to please you, will actually ENJOY giving you head and will actually have improved her sexual skills by leaps and bounds.

What Your Man Is Really Thinking When You’re Between The Sheets

By loveandsex

Sex is super fun for both guys and gals, but have you ever wondered what is actually going on up in that man-brain of his? Have you ever wondered just what he’s thinking about when you’re giving him a blowjob or riding him all night long? Here’s sex from his point of view.

You’re Hot

Your guy thinks you’re hot. Period. He wouldn’t be with you if he didn’t find you attractive – period! Men are visual and need visual stimulation to be turned on – it’s against his genetic code for him to be with someone he doesn’t think is physically beautiful or good looking.

You’re probably thinking “Well, that’s because I take care to hide my cellulite” or “We never have sex with the lights on, so he doesn’t have the chance to actually see me.” Forget that crap. He likes you with your cellulite. Fact is, he was probably so mesmerized by your jiggling ass that he didn’t notice the cellulite. See the difference? You may think your jiggly ass is ugly – he thinks it’s jiggly, fun to play with and sexy. So forget your flaws and embrace yourself!

You Should Be More Into It

Even if you’re really into it, he probably still thinks you should be more into it. Enthusiasm is like, 50% of sex, at least. Think about it this way – guys are used to watching porn, where women scream, pant, beg and LOVE sex. Yeah, that’s their job and they’re getting paid pretty damn well to do it – but being into sex with your lover is actually YOUR job.

Make an effort to step up your involvement during sex. Talk dirty, make more noise and whisper his name. Act like the only thing in the world you want to be doing is HIM – and nothing else. Be totally in the moment and he’ll love it! Being in the moment and allowing yourself to become consumed with pleasure is also a great way to enhance sex for you too!

You’re Still Hot

Yes, he really thinks you’re hot. Really, really. Especially during sex. Believe it. But don’t ask your guy – he’ll think it’s a trap and be afraid to answer with anything but “yes.” Of course, the truthful answer IS “yes,” but it will still scare the crap out of him.

You Should Be More Naked

If it hasn’t sunk in that guys are visual when it comes to sex, go watch a porno flick. They’re designed to cater to a man’s need to see things that are sexual – and most films do a pretty good job of that. Unless you’re wearing nothing but your birthday suit, he’s probably thinking that you should be more naked. When you get dressed for work in the morning, it pains him to see you put clothes on, because he’s thinking you should be more naked.

If you’re wearing clothes, he’s thinking about taking them off. If you’re wearing lingerie, he’s still considering taking it off. Get more naked and he won’t complain. Ever.

Can’t Wait For You To Orgasm

Your fella LOVES it when you reach climax. As much as he loves sex and his own orgasm, he loves to see you orgasm even more. (The guys that seemingly only care about their own pleasure lack only one thing – the knowledge of how to give YOU the big O). He loves everything about your orgasm, from the heavy breathing to your eyes rolling back in your head to the sounds you make. He loves it even more when you totally lose control!

He craves seeing that primal side of you, so don’t downplay your orgasm or stay quiet. Feel free to let loose completely and let your body do whatever it’s going to do – moan, thrash, grind and gasp for air. He will drink up every bit of it.

You Should Try New Things

Variety is the spice of sex, but that doesn’t mean that you have to go nuts and start trying really weird stuff. While some guys have some freaky sex fantasies, many men have fantasies that are totally tame. He just wants you to mix it up a little so he doesn’t get bored.

So try getting your freak on and give him an impromptu handjob the next time you are on a date at the movie theater. Whisper something in his ear at dinner that makes him think of sex. Don’t wear panties under your skirt and slide his hand underneath to let him feel your wetness. Use your creativity and imagination and always be doing something different. You want to keep him on his toes!

5 Reasons Why Women Fake Orgasms

By leejenkins

We exist in a results-hungry world where our achievements are measured in terms of how we reached our goals. If we didn’t reach them, someone gets mad, someone gets blamed (you) and someone gets disappointed.

Achieving female orgasm is the same. Sometimes you meet women who can climax easily, and you may or may not attribute it to how well you made her. She could claim that she did it herself.

No matter who gets the credit, the important thing is that it happened. You both made it happen, one way or another (though, in your mind, you know that YOU made it happen. Enough said).

In a world where achievements and egos go hand in hand, how does a guy who can’t make his girlfriend reach orgasm feel?

Here are Some of the Reasons Why Women Fake:

So That You Won’t Feel Bad

There are some men who don’t care if a girl climaxes or not, but there are more men who do. A girl’s orgasm is an affirmation of how well these men perform and it becomes a ‘pride’ thing. There’s also that nagging doubt in a man’s mind that if he can’t satisfy her, she will leave.

A woman, being intuitive enough to know these things, will sense that her orgasm is sometimes more important to the guy than to her. So, she fakes.

So That She Won’t Feel Bad

With all the stories she hears from her friends about how good sex is, especially when a girl orgasms twice, thrice, four times, five times….ten times! Oh yesss yesss!!

She might feel compelled to tattle about how great sex is for her too, how she came TWELVE times with her boyfriend. But she didn’t and she knows it. Yet she makes you believe she did, and she tells you that she did. But, she didn’t.

Because It’s How It’s Supposed To End

Blame it on porn or on yourself, but answering “no” when you ask her “was it good for you too?” would be just wrong. You shared a great cuddle after sex, and the man she loves wears a smile on his face as he drifts off to sleep. He whispers her name as he feels her move away to pee.

So, who cares if she feels like there’s something missing from the whole sex thing? She’s in love, and her man is so happy with her. That’s enough, right?

She Doesn’t Want To Look Ugly

Believe it or not, there are women who fake because of vanity. She probably saw her face in the mirror while she was really cumming and she was horrified that she looked like someone in a bad Exorcist audition while she was having the big O. And, was that pig-like grunting she heard herself utter while she was having her orgasm?

No, it just won’t do. She fakes because she wants her man to see her as a diva while she cums, with a seductive smile on her lips and moaning so artfully. Besides, she knows how to make herself cum anyway. She can do it when you’re asleep.

She Just Feels Like Faking

There are women who feel sex is really overrated, and if she doesn’t climax this time, she won’t waste her energy and nap time stressing over it. She didn’t cum for real, but if it’s important to you, she fakes. No big deal.

In the end, faking an orgasm goes against the idea of being honest in a relationship. Yes, in the short term, a woman who fakes an orgasm avoids any pains of disappointment and awkward moments.

But in the end, it will be a lot tougher to experience a real orgasm, simply because the “problem” (not being able to reach orgasm through sex) is not being addressed.

Communication and education are the keys to unlocking the female orgasm.