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Sex Tips & Advice

Orgasm Tips: How To Build Her Orgasm In 3 Phases

By loveandsex

For women, achieving orgasm is a process, and a fun one at that.  Foreplay is an essential part of reaching orgasm for a woman. All of the kissing, touching, licking, and caressing are vital parts of sex for the fairer sex, not just stuff you do until you cum. She feels intense delight at the touch of your lips and the stroke of your finger tips.

In fact, there are instances where a woman enjoys the sexual experience, even if she hasn’t climaxed. The more you make a woman feel like she’s special, like you’re really into her and that you’re super turned on by her, the more she will enjoy having sex without without having an orgasm. However, those instances are few and far between, so it’s best if you know how to make give a woman the climax of her life.

There is not a single technique that will absolutely guarantee your woman’s satisfaction, but rather a building of mood and touch that eventually send her over the edge.  Since there’s no “right” way to do it that applies to all women, it’s a bit of a difficult concept for men to grasp, since a warm vagina, or even a fist full of hand lotion, is all it really takes to get where you need to be. Perhaps a better understanding of the phases a woman goes through to reach orgasm is in order.

Phase I: The Beginning

This is the part when she just decided she wants to have sex with you.  When she reaches this stage, her breathing is slightly heavier than normal, and her pulse has quickened.  This can happen at any time – even without you knowing that she wants to have sex with you. That’s why paying attention to her body language is so important! If you notice that she seems to be more “into” you, has started touching you softly or licking her lips, some serious making out just may be in order at this point. While you’re kissing her, let your hands wander all over her body.

Run your fingers through her hair, stroke her back, and even get in a bit of nipple play. If your hands head south of the border, avoid direct contact with her clitoris. Make sure you use slow, gentle strokes. Rubbing your palm slowly and deeply over her vaginal lips is a great way to give her a hint of what’s to come without irritating the parts of her vagina that are ultra sensitive.

Phase II: The Build-Up

Now things are really getting heated up. Her breathing has turned into almost a pant, and she’s probably let out some audible moans.  When she’s in this phase, you can make more direct contact with the clitoris, but don’t just hang out there.  Tease your partner by keeping more indirect contact going, brushing the head of the clitoris every once in a while. Rub the sides of her clitoris along the shaft, and then pinch the head lightly with the pads of your fingers.

Make sure that either your fingers are lubed up before you touch her, or that she’s very wet and you can use her natural lubrication to wet your fingers. Touching her clitoris with hard, dry fingers isn’t going to feel good to her at all. A dab of lube will go a long way here. If you don’t want to finger her, these same concepts can be applied to oral sex as well.

You can also vary strokes and speeds at this point. You may want to rub the head of the clitoris in a circular motion at a high frequency, and then slowly rub the shaft up and down. Experiment with different strokes and play around with her – listen to her cues to let you know which strokes she likes the most.

Phase III: The Big Finish

Phase III is typically signaled by her screaming, “Faster! Faster!”  Now is not the time to mess around or change what you’re doing. Whatever it was that you were doing when she reached this phase is the exact same thing you need to do to finish her up. Some guys get the idea that they need to try something else – for example, when a woman gets closer to orgasm, he may decide that instead of flicking the head of the clitoris with his tongue, that he’s going to lick slowly around her labia. Resist the temptation to change what you’re doing!

Get in there, and get the job done! Zero in on that one spot, and rub it like you mean it. Use quick, circular motions right on the head of the clitoris until you hear her scream in ecstasy! If you don’t change what you’re doing when she starts to enter the third phase and keep at it, following her directions for harder, softer, faster, etc., you’ll bring her to climax in no time.

Filed Under: Orgasm Tagged With: clitoris, female orgasm, orgasm, sex tips

Female Masturbation: 10 Must Haves For The Bedroom

By loveandsex

Female masturbation is something every woman does – but do you have the right equipment? Don’t use your hands – here’s ten things no woman wants to be without.

Lube

Many girls don’t believe they need lube during masturbation, especially if they’re just using a clitoral vibrator. While this is true to an extent , lube can make things feel a lot better no matter what kind of sex toy you’re using, or even if you’re just using your hands. Dab a bit of lube on to your favorite clitoral vibrator and move it around a bit – you’ll be surprised at how good it feels when combined with the vibrations? The We-Vibe Touch is an excellent toy for this, because with a little lube on the tip, it can feel almost like a real tongue!

Our Recommendation:

A good, water based lube, like Astroglide, is going to be your best bet. Water based lube is compatible with all condoms and sex toys, so you don’t have to worry about degrading your toys with a lube that isn’t compatible, such as silicone lube with silicone sex toys. Water based lube is inexpensive, comes in lots of varieties including flavored, cooling, tingling and warming.

Condoms

When you think of female masturbation, condoms don’t usually come to mind right away, because you’re not trying to protect yourself from getting pregnant or contracting an STD. However, condoms can really benefit you during masturbation. When using a condom with an insertable sex toy, you can often skip the extensive clean up afterwards and just slip the condom off and throw it in the trash. Using condoms with your sex toys can keep them looking and feeling like new for longer.

Also, many sex toys are made with phthalates – a dangerous chemical used to soften jelly or rubber products. Phthalates have been shown to contribute to cervical cancer and other problems. If you use a condom with a sex toy that you suspect or know contains phthalates, you’re protecting yourself from coming into contact with these dangerous toxins.

Our Recommendation:

Any! When you’re using condoms with your sex toys, the idea is to keep them clean and safe – especially if any of your toys contain phthalates. So don’t worry about the brand – get something colorful or something that smells great like chocolate or strawberry!

A G-Spot Vibrator

Every girl needs a g-spot vibrator, especially if she’s never discovered her g-spot. Don’t expect your guy to find it either until you’ve found it first – he’ll probably need you to show him the way and if not, you’ll at least need to know what it feels like first so you can let him know that he’s hit the jackpot.

Our Recommendation:

The Lelo Elise. This vibrator is made with a soft, silky feeling exterior and is curved at exactly the right angle to reach the g-spot easily and quickly. The hard surface  is perfect to help a woman squirt during her orgasm, because soft jellies and products with more “give” just aren’t going cut it if you want a sheet soaking, rock-your-world orgasm.

A Clitoral Vibrator

A clitoral vibrator is also something every woman needs and there are a great deal of g-spot vibrators out there that also have clitoris attachments. However, a clitoral vibrator by itself can provide a lot of pleasure, especially for girls who have never experimented with sex toys before or girls who are virgins and don’t want to use insertable sex toys.

Our Recommendation:

The We-Vibe Touch. This is definitely a must have for any woman’s toy box. It’s small and fits perfectly into a woman’s hand. It’s designed with special curves that fit directly over the clitoris, but you can also use the pointed tip of the toy as a “tongue” when you explore your body. This one is a lot of fun!

A Waterproof Vibrator

Lots of ladies like to masturbate in the shower and there’s a reason why – it’s private, the shower sounds drown out any shouts of pleasure that may escape and the warm water helps get a woman relaxed enough to reach orgasm. All in all, the shower really is a great place for female masturbation! With this in mind, you want to make sure you have a great waterproof vibrator on hand for those times you want to slip in the shower and satisfy yourself before work or after a long hard day on the job.

Our Recommendation:

Again, the We-Vibe Touch because it’s also waterproof! If you’re looking for a insertable vibrator that is waterproof, try the Jack Rabbit (a rabbit style vibrator with both a g-spot and clitoris vibrator) or the Lelo Elise. Both of these a great options when it comes to stimulating your g-spot in the shower.

A Travel Vibrator

Sometimes, a woman needs to let go while she’s on the road. Perhaps your dinner date is so smoking hot that you can’t help but go to the bathroom and polish one off before dessert – or maybe you’re a woman on the go who takes business trips and spends many a night in a hotel room alone. Either way, a travel vibe is something that you really don’t want to leave home without on those days where you know you’ll need to relax a little but aren’t sure when and where you’re going to be able to do it.

Travel vibrators are also a great option when you fly, because most of them are discreet enough that even if they dump your bag out on the conveyer belt at the airport, nobody will know what it is!

Our Recommendation:

The Lelo Mia. This little vibrator is a perfect “purse” sized vibrator and looks like a tube of lipstick when it is closed. Open it up and you’ll find that this vibrator charges using a USB port – which you can leave plugged into your laptop or desktop anywhere (even at work) and no one will have a clue that it’s not a jump drive!

A Small Butt Plug

If you’re into anal sex – or have never tried anal stimulation before and want to – a small butt plug is something you’re going to want to have stored in your sex toy drawer. While anal stimulation isn’t something that girls often think about during female masturbation, a little anal play can really change things up and intensify your orgasm. Think about it – many girls enjoy anal play with their partners during sex or oral sex, but it’s not something they do when they’re flying solo. Why not? Next time you shut and lock your doors for some private time, try slipping in a small butt plug before you get started and see what happens!

Our Recommendation:

The Basix Rubber Works Mini Butt Plug. This small, slim butt plug is only 1.5” wide and 4” long, making it perfect for beginners or for ladies who just want a little bit of extra stimulation while they masturbate. Imagine the intensity of your orgasms when you combine anal stimulation with clitoral and g-spot pleasure!

An Erotic Novel Or Magazine

Most guys masturbate to porn – that’s a given. They’re visual creatures who are sexually aroused by visual stimuli – while girls are sexually aroused by mental stimuli. Anything that gets a woman’s imagination going is a great female masturbation companion, but a large majority of ladies don’t actually use anything during masturbation other than their imaginations.

Next time you’re browsing through an adult toy store, check out the erotic novel section. Find a novel or a magazine (one with lots of stories) that entices you and take it home with you. Next time you’re ready to masturbate, read a few paragraphs first and allow your mind and body to really get worked up. Your orgasm will be more intense and an even greater release.

Our Recommendation:

Anything that turns you on! There are tons of erotic novels in adult toy stores, and there are also some great resources online that are free. Browse around and find something that really gets you hot!

Something Comfortable To Wear

You don’t want to try to masturbate in your work clothes – it’s just not going to allow your mind to let go of your inhibitions and really get into it. So slip off whatever you wore that day and get into something comfortable – whether it’s your favorite lingerie or even just a comfortable camisole that you love. You can even go nude! Whatever you choose to wear, make sure it’s comfortable and allows you to completely relax and focus on your pleasure.

Our Recommendation:

A soft cotton nightie that is lightweight and breathable – and washable!

Your Favorite Relaxation Techniques

Ladies usually come home from work with their minds all wrapped up in their to do lists, dinner plans or taking the kids to practices, etc. The fact is, if a woman isn’t relaxed and she hasn’t purged the daily “crap” from her mind before female masturbation, she isn’t going to get anywhere. It’s like spinning your tires in the mud. Take a few minutes before your masturbation session to relax and put the thoughts and the feelings of the day completely away.

Our Recommendation:

A hot bath and a glass of wine (if you’re of age) does wonders to get your body relaxed before masturbation. Do whatever it is you need to do to get rid of the day’s stresses and focus on yourself and your pleasure.

Filed Under: Masturbation Tagged With: butt plugs, clitoral vibrators, female masturbation, personal lubricants, Sex Toys, vibrators

5 Tips To Make A Handjob More Exciting

By loveandsex

A handjob isn’t something a woman often gives her guy because he can do it himself, right? Why would he want to feel her hand on his penis when he can just as easily use his own – besides, he knows what he likes. However, a handjob given by a girl isn’t quite the same as masturbation – it can be even better. Surprise him with an incredible handjob TONIGHT with these hot tips.

Hey Dan and Jenn. I wondered if you had any advice on giving my boyfriend a handjob. Every time I do it, it’s just seems so boring for the both of us. It takes ages for him to climax and he says he likes it, but it doesn’t seem that way. It would be nice to get some advice since I don’t always feel like having sex, and I don’t feel like giving him a blowjob every time I dont feel like having sex. Thank you.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aw3-ZT-8QWM&feature=channel_video_title[/youtube]

Attitude Is Key

There’s a reason that what women do in porn flicks is so popular – because no matter what they’re doing, they act like they’re completely enthusiastic about doing it. If you’re giving your man a handjob and you’re acting like you’ve got better things to do (even if you really do), he’s not going to be as into it either. On the other side of the coin, if your attitude says that there’s nothing that you’d rather be doing besides giving your guy manual pleasure (even if there is), he’s going to get more and more into it.

Make Sure You’re Using A Good Lubricant

A handjob without lube isn’t going to feel very good at all. Make sure that when you’re giving your partner manual stimulation, that you have a generous amount of either water or silicone based lube on hand. Contrary to popular belief, saliva isn’t a lubricant.

Even if you produce enough saliva to completely coat his penis, it will dry out quickly and it really doesn’t feel that good. If you’re using a good lubricant during a handjob, it’s going to feel better for him (a lot better!) and it’s going to be much easier for you. You won’t have to work as hard to stroke his shaft up and down because the lube will make things smooth and slippery.

Use A Vibrating Bullet

Some guys don’t respond to vibrations on their penis, but some really do! Take a bullet vibrator and hold it in your hands while you give your man a handjob. It’s definitely a little different sensation, but if he likes vibrations, then he will REALLY like this! Another thing you can do with a vibrating bullet or egg is to place it firmly underneath his scrotum, right on the perineum. This will stimulate his prostate gland from the outside, which is a great option for men who are squeamish about anal sex or anal stimulation of any kind.

Remember that it’s okay to use props during a handjob – just because it’s a “handjob” doesn’t mean that you can’t use sex toys too – such as vibrators, anal stimulators, prostate massagers or even masturbation sleeves. In fact, a masturbation sleeve can feel divine for a guy getting a handjob – because so many of them feel close to the way a mouth or vagina feels – and it makes giving him pleasure completely easy and stress free.

Handjob Techniques

With the right attitude, some lube and maybe some props, giving a handjob doesn’t have to be about technique at all. However, for those women who really want a great technique to use to give their man an orgasm manually, these techniques are tried and true:

Twist And Shout

Grab the base of his penis and pull the skin tightly towards his groin. Use your other hand to stroke his shaft up and down (with lube), while rotating your wrist in a “twisting” motion. The idea behind this technique is that you’re tightening the skin and twisting – so it feels completely different than the way he masturbates himself.

Bookends

Place your palms together as though you were praying, and then slip your man’s penis in between your hands. Your hands should look like a pair of bookends on either side of his penis. Lightly put pressure on his penis as though you were pushing your hands together, and then move your hands up and down to stroke his shaft.

Add Some Great Products To The Mix

You can make a handjob even better for your man by adding some great products to the mix. For example:

  • Use a sensitizing lube to make his penis more sensitive and responsive to your touch
  • Use a male masturbator, such as the Super Head Honcho Masturbator by Adam & Eve
  • Use warming or cooling lubes to give him different sensations
  • If he really likes cool sensations, tease him with an ice cube

Remember that giving a handjob is all about having fun and giving your partner great pleasure. It doesn’t have to be perfect and it doesn’t even have to end in a climax – although, that is definitely a much anticipated bonus! Relax and have fun, and don’t worry about “doing it wrong” or things getting “boring.” Experiment with different techniques, lubes and props and a handjob will never be the same again – for you or your partner!

Filed Under: Masturbation Tagged With: foreplay, handjob, masturbation, sex tips

What Is A Micropenis And Do I Have One?

By loveandsex

Penis size is something just about every guy worries about. In fact, most guys are obsessed with their penis size and worried that their genitals too small. Some men may be convinced that they have a micropenis – that is, a clinical condition where the genitals are much smaller than average. But what really makes a small penis a micropenis, and could you have one?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSzldhThgLQ[/youtube]

What Is A Micropenis?

A micropenis is a term that is usually used to describe a very small, or abnormally small penis. The average length of an adult man’s genitals when erect is about 5-6” and a micropenis is any shaft that is less than about 2.8” when erect. So basically, a micropenis is a penile shaft that is significantly smaller than the smallest average size.

What Causes It To Be That Small?

There are a few things that cause this condition, including abnormal testicular development in the womb and testosterone and other hormone deficiencies. If you do have a micropenis, it’s likely that you’re not going to discover this until you’re an adult – all these measurements are for an adult male, because the genitals are normally much smaller in boys.

How To REALLY Measure Your Penis

If you want to find out if your small genitals actually fall into the “micropenis” category, you’ll want to measure it correctly. Remember that most guys who have smaller genitals still don’t fit into the category of having a micropenis – because their genitals are small, but not less than 3″ or so. Here’s the real way to measure your penis:

  • Get your shaft as erect as you can. Make sure you’re really turned on and you’ve maximized your penis size.
  • Have a rule or tape measure on hand.
  • Place one end of the measuring device at the very base of your shaft, up against your groin.
  • Stretch out the tape measure or lay the ruler on your shaft and note where the tip of your penis is. This is your penis length.

If you do have small genitals, or even a micropenis, remember that it’s not all about length when it comes to pleasing a woman sexually and giving her an orgasm. It’s really the width that comes into play during intercourse, so even if you have a short shaft, if it is still fairly thick, you’re good to go.

Can A Micropenis Be Enlarged?

If you have very small genitals, you’re probably going to want look into some type of penis enlargement therapy to help you get a bigger member. Don’t take matters into your own hands though, especially if you’re considering a treatment that is invasive or risky. Consult your doctor beforehand about your options.

He or she can let you know what is available out there to help you get a larger erection, from natural ways like using a penis pump or possibly through surgical intervention. Your doctor can inform you about the risks involved with any type of enlargement therapy and suggest alternatives if some options aren’t right for you.

Don’t try to enlarge your genitals on your own with creams, pills or penis pumps because you may end up doing more harm than good. While creams, pills and pumps may be part of your treatment plan, having your doctor’s okay first will give you the confidence to know that you’re being safe and smart so you don’t end up hurting yourself.

Common Treatments For A Micropenis

Testosterone Therapy

Usually, testosterone therapy is tried first since it is considered the safest and least invasive way to treat extremely small genitals. A man on testosterone therapy to increase his size may take hormone supplements or use hormone creams, and this type of medication can be prescribed to infants in rare cases where the problem is noticed at a much younger age.

Testosterone therapy can also be used during puberty to help increase size, before the window for actual, true penis growth closes.

Surgical Procedures

Surgical procedures to enlarge the genitals are very rarely used, because it’s a risky treatment option and the length of the shaft doesn’t increase that much. A man undergoing surgical lengthening of the penile shaft may only gain a few centimeters, or an inch or so at most.

Penile implants may be an option if you’re just going for raw length, but there are caveats to any surgical procedure you might be considering. Talk with your doctor (or several doctors) about the right options for you – before you have anyone come near your genitals with a scalpel!

Can You Have Sex With A Micropenis?

The better question here is can a man lead a fully satisfying sex life with a micropenis, and the answer is yes! Actual vaginal penetration and intercourse can be difficult, especially if the shaft is really short. However, there are lots of ways you can experience satisfying, fulfilling sex with your partner without vaginal intercourse:

  • Give and receive oral sex
  • Finger her and allow her to give you a handjob
  • Bring sex toys in the bedroom and use them on each other
  • Try different sex positions – you may not be able to have intercourse in the missionary position (especially if you or your partner are bigger around the middle), but you may be able to have intercourse just fine in the doggy style position. Experiment and have fun!

Learning To Accept Yourself

If you have a micropenis – or just very small genitals – it’s easy to be down on yourself or wonder if you’re ever going to meet a woman who wants to be with you – or who can be sexually satisfied by you. Don’t worry so much about what women may think. Learn to accept yourself and love yourself for who you are and how you were made. If you have self confidence – and know how to please a woman orally or with sex toys – she’s not going to care about your size.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: big penis, penis enlargement, penis size, sex tips, small penis

How To Give Multiple Orgasms Like A Porn Star

By isabellastone

Multiple orgasms are considered the “holy grail” of sex for women – if you can give her more than one, you’re golden. Porn stars are often looked at as “sex gurus” – and in a way, they are. They do it A LOT more than the average person. Adult films are known for featuring some of the hottest women on earth, but they aren’t just about showcasing women who look good on camera.

The people who are able to make a career in the adult industry are all known being abso-freaking-lutely AMAZING in bed. The top porn stars in the world are better at giving their partners incredibly intense orgasms than just about anybody out there.

Can You Have A Porn Star Sex Life?

Now, just because you might never be receiving an award at the AVN, doesn’t mean you can’t have the sex life of a porn star. Here are several very powerful ways to give your partner multiple orgasms BEFORE you penetrate her, using only your fingers.

So how do you give your partner incredible, body-shaking orgasms with nothing but your fingers? Simple, just keep reading, and take notes.

Women can have many kinds of orgasms, but today we are going to focus on two kinds: Clitoral, and G-spot orgasms. First, you are going to learn how to make her cum by each one individually, and then I’m going to show you how to combine them for something so explosive, she very well may pop your ear drums from screaming so loudly.

Clitoral Orgasms

Doctors and other sex education experts have all agreed that a woman’s clitoris was designed solely for sexual pleasure. So being able to stimulate it properly is a great way to make her shake and moan for more.

In order to locate her clitoris, take your middle finger and starting at the opening of her vagina, slowly work your way up a bit, until you feel something that feels like a tiny knot. This, my friend is her clit, and all of the thousands of amazing nerve endings in it will thank you for finding it.

Now, start to slowly make small circles with your finger on her clit (either clock-wise or counter clock-wise, it’s up to you). Once you have a nice comfortable and even pace, you’ll very quickly notice her body shaking and her breathing pattern changing. Keep doing EXACTLY what you are doing. Too many men change up their technique, and this absolutely ruins the experience for women.

You should also keep in mind that the lighter you touch her clitoris, the better. Since she is so sensitive there, touching her any harder then you would touch your laptops track pad, could very easily hurt her and ruin the experience. Just this one simple technique alone can give just about any woman multiple orgasms, very quickly.

G-Spot Orgasms

First of all, the G-spot isn’t actually a “spot,” it’s actually an entire area located approximately 2 inches inside the vagina on the upper vaginal wall (on her stomach side, instead of the anus side).

So while your partner is lying on her back, insert your middle finger in to her vagina, with your palm facing upwards. Stroke your finger along her upper vaginal wall until you find something that feels like a ribbed surface, similar to the inside of your mouth, right behind your top row of front teeth.

Congratulations, you’ve now done something that most men will never do. You’ve found the G-spot! And now that you know where it is, it’s time to learn how to simulate it properly.

With her laying on her back, and you kneeling in front of her, with your middle and ring or pointer fingers touching her G-spot, you are going to want to use a “come over here” motion.

One thing you need to watch out for is the amount of pressure you use when fingering your partner. Most men are very strong, and don’t realize just how much they are using. Remember to be gentle when you are stimulating a woman’s G-spot, because it’s hard for us to enjoy what you’re doing, if is uncomfortable.

How To Tell If She’s Digging It

Okay, so how do you know that you’re woman is really enjoying it? Well asides from the moaning, screaming, body shaking, and her digging her mails in to you; you should pay close attention to her breathing patterns.

If her breathing seems a little erratic, and almost as if she’s panting, then that’s a great clue that you are doing a good job; but you can do even better.

The Ultimate Fingering Orgasm

If you can perfect those two techniques, you will be able to do what 95% of men cannot do – give her a blended orgasm.

If you think about it, combining both techniques should be pretty straightforward right? While your partner is lying on her back, you would use your dominant hand to stimulate her G-spot while simultaneously using your other hand to make those tiny circles on her clitoris.

Well, like most of life’s greatest pleasures, this is a bit trickier then you would think.

Since you are using both of your hands to perform different tasks, the brain has a very difficult time processing both things at the same time. If you have ever tried to play the drums, you should know exactly what I’m talking about.

Practice Makes Perfect

The only way to get this technique down perfectly is to practice, practice, practice. I highly recommend waiting until you are alone in your house to do this. Start by using a pillow as if it was a woman. Lay it down flat on either your bed or couch and imagine that it is your partner’s body.

Start with the clitoris technique for a few minutes, and then switch to the G-spot one. Once you feel comfortable enough, try to do them both at the same time. Most people will find this very frustration at first, but don’t worry. Star very slowly, and then gradually speed up a little.

If you practice this for 10-15 minutes a day, you should have no time mastering it within a couple of days (a week at the most). And then think about how amazing of a feeling it will be to know that you are one of the few people alive with the ability to give virtually any woman you want simultaneous multiple orgasms BEFORE penetration?

Filed Under: Orgasm Tagged With: clitoral orgasm, clitoral stimulation, clitoris, g spot, g spot orgasm, multiple orgasms, orgasm, porn, sex tips

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Sex & Intimacy Topics

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  • Foreplay
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