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The A-Spot: What Is It And How To Find It

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An orgasm can occur a variety of ways, each providing different sensations from the other. You can give an orgasm by stimulating the clitoris or the G-spot. But have you heard about the A-spot? What is it, how do you find it and what do you do to give your girl an orgasm with it? Here’s the down low on the A-spot and how you can stimulate it to give your sex life a fresh new twist.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6R5VWqzIhx4[/youtube]

What Is The A-Spot?

The A-spot is scientifically known as the “anterior fornix erogenous zone” but has also been called the AFE zone, AFE, A-spot, epicenter, deep spot or second G-spot when referring to it. The A-spot is an erogenous area inside the vagina that when touched firmly can lead to possible squirting, extra lubrication and intense arousal. This can sometimes happen even when there has been no other sexual stimulation at all. When the A-spot is continually stimulated, a woman can experience an incredibly intense, squirting orgasm.

Where Is It Located?

The A-spot is located behind the G-spot, right in front of the woman’s cervix. If you imagine that the G-spot is about two inches inside the vagina on the top wall, the A-spot is simply just a little further than that. It too is on the top wall of the vagina, but to stimulate it, you definitely need to go really, really deep. It may feel very rough or textured, and you’ll be able to tell once you’ve found it based on your partner’s level of pleasure at the time.

Once you reach the right area, she may have an instant orgasm, or she may just let you know that it feels really, really good. Communicate with your partner about what hurts and what doesn’t, because this technique can cause pain if not done properly or your partner doesn’t let you know what feels good and what hurts.

What Does It Do?

The A-spot is designed to re-direct vaginal fluids (these can be considered ejaculatory fluids) that are produced during a G-spot orgasm into vaginal lubrication. For this reason, when stimulating the A-spot, the vagina will lubricate quickly and a lot of the time, excessively. Some women report that an A-spot orgasm is much more intense than a G-spot orgasm, while other women report that they don’t feel that different at all.

How To Stimulate The A-Spot

Stimulating the A-spot isn’t that much different from doing so with the G-spot. Since they’re both located on the top wall of the vagina, you’re going to insert your fingers (one or two, depending on what your lady likes during fingering) palm side up. Curl your fingers up slightly, in a “come hither” motion.

Doing so will cause the tips of your fingers to press and rub against the A-spot. You can use the G-spot as a sort of “landmark” – if you know where it is, you can think about just going a little further. If you don’t know where it is, don’t try the A-spot technique because it’s more advanced. Start with learning more about the G-spot and how to stimulate it first.

Using Sex Toys

You can also use sex toys to stimulate the A-spot, if you have trouble doing so with your fingers. Many of the vibrators and dildos that are specifically made for G-spot stimulation can also work well for the A-spot. In fact, many sex toys that are designed for this are actually better than using your fingers, because they’re longer and many of them are designed with a special bend in the neck of the toy to reach the intended area. However, you’ll probably want to find the A-spot with your fingers first, before using sex toys, so you know where it is and where you want to put the toy.

Communication And A Safe Word

Communicating with your partner about how this technique feels and whether it hurts or not is extremely important for this to work, especially considering how deep you’re going. You can easily cause pain! Make sure your partner knows that she needs to be honest with you about how she’s feeling, and encourage her to use a safe word if it hurts and she’d like the activity to stop. She can say “stop,” unless that doesn’t really mean “stop.” A safe word is better because you’ll both know exactly what she means (that she’s in pain) and that she for sure wants to stop.

How To Have Great Sex Without Penetration

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Sex isn’t all about penetration. It’s a common misconception that you have to actually have intercourse to have awesome sex, but the truth is, you can actually have wonderful physical intimacy with your partner while not bumping uglies at all! There is so much more to doing it than just “penis-in-the-vagina” – in fact, there are so many more enjoyable ways to experience your partner sexually while avoiding intercourse! Here’s how.

Why Couples Would Want To Skip Traditional Intercourse

You might be wondering why anyone in their right mind would want to skip out on the sex part of sex. There are, however, lots of couples who either can’t or don’t want to have traditional intercourse with each other for various reasons. Some couples may want to avoid unwanted pregnancy by not engaging in penetration (if they’re not using condoms or birth control) and other couples may be avoiding penetration for religious, spiritual or moral reasons.

After childbirth, women are often cautioned not to have sex for six weeks afterwards, leaving them at a loss on how to please their partners when sex is not an option. Other couples may not be a great fit physically down there and will get more enjoyment out of foreplay than actual intercourse.

Oral Sex

Oral sex is a great way to give your partner an amazing orgasm with no intercourse. Most people feel like oral sex is for foreplay only, but why not make it the main event? It is that great, after all! Take turns pleasuring your lover with your tongue and letting them do the same for you, or try the sixty-nine position and give each other simultaneous oral sex. You may not think it’s possible to feel completely satisfied after having only oral sex with your partner and forgoing intercourse, but the truth is, you might even have a better and more satisfying orgasm this way than through intercourse alone. Your partner will too!

Masturbation

If oral sex isn’t your thing or you’re just not ready to go there with your partner yet, think about masturbation. Not the flying solo kind, but the masturbating your partner with your hands kind. This is better known as fingering (if they’re a girl) and giving a handjob (if they’re a guy). Lots of people avoid this type of stimulation when they’re getting it on with their lovers because they feel like that manual stimulation is actually boring – especially since this is the kind of stimulation you get all the time when you masturbate alone.

However, you can give your partner amazing orgasms through manual stimulation! All it takes is time, a little hard work and lots and lots of great lube. Most people who don’t enjoy getting a handjob from their partner have forgotten that crucial component – lots of lube!

Sex Toys

If you’re not going to have intercourse with your partner, why not bring in some fun sex toys to play with instead? If she can handle penetration but just not with a penis (for example, if she’s trying not to get pregnant), try using a dildo or a vibrator. If penetration of any kind is out of the question, a clitoris vibrator can definitely come into play. This is a great way to give a woman an orgasm when avoiding intercourse, especially if oral sex or fingering isn’t your thing. Instead of letting her take care of herself with the vibrator (which a lot of guys do when they can’t do it with their ladies), take care of it for her and get off on her pleasure.

For the men, sex toys can also be beneficial when you can’t or don’t want to do it the traditional way. Male masturbators (also known as masturbation sleeves) can make giving him a handjob a lot easier, especially when you use plenty of lube. In fact, it will probably feel better for him too!

Kissing

If you’re avoiding sexual activity all together for whatever reason, don’t forget that you can stay physically intimate and close to your partner through kissing. Don’t just assume that the quick kiss you gave your lover before work will suffice – if you’re not having sex, take some time to have a really great and satisfying make out session with your partner.

Kiss your lover deeply and slowly, with no regard to how much time you have or what is going to come next. Simply enjoy the kissing experience for what it is and encourage your partner to do the same. When done right, kissing can be an extremely satisfying way to stay physically connected to your lover when you can’t get it on!

5 Ways Exercise Can Improve Your Sex Life

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Sex is a very physical activity – there’s no doubt about that. Great sex will leave the sheets soaked with sweat, and even mediocre sex will leave you and your partner both out of breath if you’re not healthy and fit. If you’re not in shape, sex can definitely become lackluster and not just because you don’t feel confident about the way you look naked. Being physically ready for great sex will help you have sex that rocks your world. Check out these moves that will get your body ready for amazing sex.

Abdominal Workouts

Some of the most used muscles during sex are the abdominal muscles. They’re used for penetration and thrusting, they’re used for hip gyrating and strong abs can be extremely helpful when it comes to trying some of the more awkward sex positions. Strengthen your ab muscles by doing simple sit ups – as long as you’re doing them the right way.

Sit ups don’t have to involve you actually sitting all the way up. In fact, you can strengthen your abs by just lifting your shoulders off the floor – enough to tighten those muscles. Hold for a few seconds before resting your shoulders back on the floor and repeat. Do three sets of 10-15 sit ups three times a week for stronger ab muscles.

Another move for the lower abs involves assuming the same position as you would if you were doing a sit up and lifting your legs instead, using your lower ab muscles only. It might take a few tries to learn how to isolate the muscles you’re wanting to use (you want to feel the “burn” in your lower stomach, not your thighs), but these are the muscles that are going to be responsible for the majority of your hip movements.

Thigh Workouts

Both men and women can benefit from doing thigh workouts to enhance sexual stamina and performance. The thighs are used primarily during thrusting, and people with poor muscle tone in their thighs won’t be able to thrust for very long in bed, making sex shorter. A lot of men may mistake having a reduced libido with simply not being in good enough physical shape to continue thrusting for extended periods of time.

Simple squats can take care of this. Start without weight, and then add small amounts of weight as you get stronger. You don’t have to do this in a gym either – squats at home will work too. You can add weight by using cans of vegetables for the lighter weights and bags of sugar or flour for heavier weights. Just use your imagination! Three sets of 8-10 to start out with a few times a week is sufficient, but when you’re ready to step up your game, you can add repetitions.

Flexibility Training

Of course, to get into some of the more interesting sex positions, you need to be flexible. Flexibility is something that people have a lot of when they’re younger, and then they lose it as they get older. You can get your flexibility back, however, by doing stretching and training your body to stretch further and further each time.

Women can begin by practicing stretching their legs upwards while lying down, bringing the tops of their thighs and knees towards their shoulders. This helps stretch the tendons in the back of the thighs, allowing a woman to get her legs up farther when she’s beneath her man during sex or when he’s performing oral sex on her. Another great stretching move is actually simply learning to touch your toes in a sitting position. This helps a woman’s legs become even more flexible, allowing her to use them differently with different sex positions.

When stretching, simply practice a little each day, pushing yourself as far as you can go without experiencing a lot of pain (a little burn is normal). After several stretching sessions, you’ll notice that you can stretch a little farther each time.

Cardio Exercises

Cardio training is probably the cornerstone of getting your body ready for sex. Many people who don’t have a lot of stamina will get out of breath easily when having sex, especially if it involves more vigorous thrusting. If you want to last longer in bed, practice getting your heart rate up and keeping it there for a short period of time. You can do this with fast walking or jogging, or you can use a treadmill or elliptical machine at the gym.

Start small, with five to ten minute bursts of heart-racing activity. When you stop getting out of breath as much and your heart doesn’t beat quite as hard, it’s time to add another minute or two. After just a week or two of cardio a few times a week, you’ll notice a huge difference in your ability to have sex longer with your partner.

Safety

Of course, before beginning any fitness program (for better sex or otherwise), it’s important to consult your doctor first, especially if you have muscle or joint problems or any kind of heart condition. When doing these moves, make sure to listen to your body and stop if you become extremely uncomfortable, dizzy or are too out of breath.

How To Stop Ejaculating So Fast During Sex

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Is premature ejaculation making your sex life lousy because you cannot seem to stop ejaculating so fast during sex? Do you feel frustrated, embarrassed and depressed because you are unable to satisfy your partner sexually?

If it’s a one-stand stand, you can forget about the embarrassment of premature ejaculation (PE) and move on. But for men who are married or in a long-term committed relationship, the double whammy of having to deal with PE and the potential fallout in his relationship can be overbearing.

The Law Of Large Numbers

You are NOT suffering from premature ejaculation alone. Millions of men just like you have to put up with the embarrassment of having an orgasm too quickly during sex. It’s just that guys don’t usually talk about such things, and most don’t know how to deal with it properly.

Beware Of The “Trappings” On Offer

In their quest for a “quick fix” for their PE problem, many men choose to seek out products on the market that claim to help them last longer. You are probably well aware of stuff such as desensitizing lube, gels or in general – anesthetics that you can apply on your penis glans to help you last longer when you make out.

These products work to a certain extent, by reducing your level of sensitivity to stimulation. The downside is that these solutions are NOT permanent cures. Without relying on these products, you will be back to your usual short-lived stamina. This means you have to whip out that bottle of spray or that tube of gel every time you plan to have sex.

While there are many proven techniques and methods to deal with the problem of premature ejaculation. But too many men focus on these specific techniques instead of the ONE important fundamental that is holding them back from achieving the sensational stamina they yearn for. Let’s take a look at this vital fundamental.

Setting Realistic Goals

“I want to lose 10 pounds in a week!” Realistic? No. Safe? No.

“I want to run a triathlon, six weeks from now… but I’ve never ran one before.” Realistic? No. Smart? No.

Such goals will ultimately set you up for failure and disappointment, and perhaps even serious health impairment.

Setting realistic goals is the first important step towards achieving any self-improvement endeavor, and that includes overcoming premature ejaculation. Start by KNOWING your current benchmark. How long can you last right now? Based on this yardstick, set a number of short-term goals while you work towards the ultimate goal.

Take for instance, you want to be able to last 15 minutes during sexual intercourse. If you’re lasting just one minute now, your end goal may be way off; you may end up losing motivation and getting frustrated. Instead, try setting weekly goals of adding 2 minutes to your stamina, by working on specific, natural techniques that help improve your ejaculatory control.

Sounds easy and straightforward? It does…

But if you stay committed and work on your ejaculatory control every week for 8 weeks, you will have surpassed your original goal by going at least 16 minutes! That new benchmark will become PERMANENT. And your wife or long-term partner will be very thankful for it, I promise!

Permanent Solutions For Lasting Longer

The best way to overcome premature ejaculation is to first understand what causes it in the first place. For the vast majority of men, all they need is to simply re-train how their mind and body react during sexual stimulation. By practicing simple cognitive techniques and exercises to re-condition the ejaculatory reflex (usually through masturbation), you can increase the threshold or tipping point where ejaculation is imminent.

Many sexual therapists also recommend natural training and reconditioning as the first important step towards ridding yourself of premature ejaculation and lasting longer for your female partner.

How To Make Her Fantasize About You In 3 Easy Steps

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Sex of all kinds is fun, but it takes some fantasizing to really get into truly great, awesome sex. To have the kind of sex that will make your toes curl and your knees go weak (for both you and your partner), you have to get your girl to start thinking about you sexually. Instead of fantasizing about guys that aren’t you, you need to get your girl to create a fantasy with you in it by being your woman’s ultimate dream guy. Here’s how.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPewjfyKL0Y[/youtube]

Fantasy Is Crucial To Great Sex

The physical aspect of sex certainly feels fantastic, but that’s not all there is when it comes to getting busy with your lover. Fantasies are incredibly important to sex that is out of this world, especially from a woman’s perspective. A guy can simply have intercourse and completely enjoy it for what it is, while a woman’s mind must be involved for your partner to even become sexually aroused in the first place.

By getting your lover to start having fantasies with you as the main subject, you’re getting the mind and imagination working. Stimulating your lover’s imagination is crucial to getting your partner to enjoy sex (and to really let go of inhibitions so YOU can enjoy it too) and it’s extremely difficult to get a woman turned on without getting the imagination involved first. If she’s using you to fuel sex fantasies, she’s halfway turned on before you ever hit the sheets.

Foreplay Isn’t Just Physical

Foreplay isn’t just about giving your partner oral sex or kissing them passionately. A huge part of foreplay before sex is the anticipation, the excitement and the fantasies about what is going to happen. That’s actually what makes having sex with someone new so awesome – you’re excited about it and the anticipation is sometimes better than the actual sex itself.

Step 1: Become Your Partner’s Fantasy

Start by finding out what kind of guy really trips your lover’s trigger. Does she love the idea of a police officer, who can assert his authority? Or does she like the idea of a different kind of man in uniform, such as a mechanic or a handyman? Find out whatever your girl’s fantasy is and develop a separate sexual persona that involves some kind of role play with the type of man that really gets your partner off.

Doing this will make it much easier for your girl to think of you sexually if she can see you in the role that she’s already attracted to. Essentially, you are becoming the man of your woman’s fantasies.

Step 2: Get A Great Body

A lot of people may think that focusing too much on physical appearance is shallow, but having a great body is actually incredibly important if you want your girl to think about having sex with you. The reality is, you care about how you look, she cares about how she looks and you both care about how you look to each other.

Having a great body will also make you feel much more confident about the way you look. You’ll be able to let go of your inhibitions more easily, and feel more confident when your partner looks at you in all of your naked glory. Being in great physical shape also gives you more energy and stamina to last longer in bed! Feeling great about the way you look and feeling strong and healthy on the inside will make sex that much more pleasurable and it’s simply just a better quality of life.

Step 3: Master The Skill Of Dirty Talk

Understanding how to get your partner aroused is an important part of getting her to think of you. Since a woman gets aroused with the mind first, work on mastering the skill of dirty talk. Dirty talk is like an “on” switch to the part of your woman’s brain that processes sex and even a few simple phrases such as, “I can’t wait until you get home tonight” or “You’ll never guess what I’m going to do to you as soon as I get my hands on you.”

What you’re doing here is turning the switch on and then leaving your partner to imagine what you’re going to do until you actually get to do it. You’ll also want to master the skill of emotional talk, such as telling your lover how she steals your breath when she walks into the room or how much you love the fact that she’s yours and only yours…to do with what you please. Be creative and come up with phrases that will really get your girl thinking – of YOU!