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Why Anal Sex Can Hurt

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Anal sex is not just about penetration of the anus. It encompasses other activities like analingus (licking of the anal region) or fingering the anal hole of your partner. But admittedly, when we say “anal sex” the first thing that comes to mind is penetration.

Do heterosexual couples engage in anal sex? Yes, absolutely. It may surprise some people but there are many straight couples that love anal sex. First of all, anal sex is a popular taboo and the thrill of doing something that’s not supposed to be done adds to the excitement of trying it out. Couples who have tried it often feel a lot closer afterwards.

Trust level is an important factor to consider if you are thinking of trying anal sex. I will not lie to you; the first time you do it, it will hurt. Even after you have been doing it for a while, there is still a certain amount of physical discomfort.

Here are some reasons why anal sex can hurt, and why you need to stock up on lube if you want to try it.

Anal Sex Can Hurt If You Aren’t Expecting It

There is such a thing as a “surprise anal” sex move, but this is so emotionally damaging that I do not recommend it. A man should always ask you nicely if he wants to put it in your ass. At the very least, he should give you the chance to prepare yourself. If a guy dares pull off this stunt, the shock combined with the sense of betrayal that you feel can contribute to the overwhelming physical pain.

Anal Sex Can Hurt If You Are Being Forced To Try It

Even if your boyfriend or husband asks for permission, if you really don’t want to try it, it will hurt. You have to be completely relaxed to enjoy anal sex. Moreover, you have to trust your partner enough to believe that he will stop when you ask him to. The muscle outside the rectum tightens when stimulated, and it will tighten even more when you’re tense or scared. Forcing entry when this muscle is too tight to allow entry can contribute to the hurt.

Anal Sex Can Hurt If You Are Not Lubricated Enough

Relaxing will help ease the initial pain of anal sex, but no amount of relaxation will ease the discomfort if the sphincter muscle isn’t lubricated enough. Spread some lube on your partner’s member or your anal sex toy and a huge dollop on your anal region to make anal sex more pleasurable.

If you’re intent on going for it, ask your partner to gradually loosen the sphincter muscle with gentle stimulation and fondling. He must never touch your sphincter without applying lubricant first. Also, remember to wash well after anal sex.

One major appeal of anal sex for me is the fact that it can be your dirty little secret. It’s extremely exciting to know that you’re both acting like a prim-and-proper, lovey-dovey couple in public, while you’re doing something “taboo” in private.

Kinky Sex 101: Adding Flavor To Vanilla

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Not everyone is content with a plain, vanilla sex life. In fact, most dating and married couples seek out various ways to spice up their sex lives once they’ve gotten past the initial “everything is new” sex phase. There are tons of different ways to revv up your sex life, ranging from the very tame to very “outside of the box.” Here are some great new sex ideas for you and your partner to try in the bedroom (or out of the bedroom if you prefer) so you and your lover can start experiencing mind-blowing sex all over again!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzCktSGk_iw[/youtube]

Going Outside Of Your Current Comfort Zone

Just because you want to try kinky sex, you don’t have to start with the whips and chains right away – that is, unless you really want to. Spicing up your sex life can involve lots of fun, tame activities, as long as you and your partner are going just slightly outside of your current comfort zone. For example, if you’ve never tried light spanking or dirty talk before, try it now! If that soon becomes a part of your regular sex regimen, it will soon be time to graduate on to something else. Your “current” comfort zone is always changing – you could be completely comfortable with racy lingerie six months from now, but it may make you just a tad nervous if you’re thinking about putting it on tomorrow night. A little nervous is good though. Your goal is to make it just outside of your “bubble” and try something you’ve never done before.

Paddles

Paddles – the ones made specifically for sex, not the ones with the rubber ball on a string – are great way to get started. Most paddles that are made for the bedroom are soft and silky on one side, and hard on the other so it smarts when you give your lover a light smack on the rear end. Start by giving each other soft taps before you graduate to full on paddling pain. By starting off small and working your way up, you and your partner can both find your level of tolerance to paddling before pleasure starts turning into pain.

Blindfolds

This is an incredibly easy and fast way to bring some extra sizzle to your sex life tonight. Anything will do – a scarf or a silk necktie will work just fine, although there are a number of great blindfolds made specifically for lovers. These may be soft and silky or have naughty sayings on them to entice your partner. Either way, the sensory deprivation created by placing a blindfold over your lover’s eyes (or vice versa) is an extremely titillating experience. You or your partner won’t know what is coming, and it will force you to experience your partner’s touch (and taste and smell) in an entirely new way.

Bondage & Restraints

There’s few things that are sexier than being tied up and waiting patiently for your partner to deliver you pleasure while there’s nothing you can do about it. Take turns with your partner in some light bondage situations, allowing both you and your lover to experience the feelings of being in total control and being totally out of control where pleasure is concerned. You may find that you really enjoy one or both of these roles! Combine restraints with blindfolds for a really wild experience!

Sex Swings & Sex Furniture

You’ve heard about a thousand and one different sex positions and how they are all meant to add that extra “oomph” to your sex life. Some of these positions are darn hard to get into though, let alone actually create any kind of movement that will stimulate you or your partner! Sex furniture, such as the Tantra Sex Chair or a sex swing, are great aids to help you and your lover get into all kinds of different sex positions – without breaking your back.

Advanced Kink

If and when you and your partner are ready to graduate to advanced kink in the bedroom, try experimenting with more dominant and submissive roles. Force your partner to be your sex slave for the day, or vice versa. Some partners like to get into cross dressing a little, or have a little more fun with the fine line between pain and pleasure. Remember to be safe (and have a safe word), but when it comes to kink, the only limit is your imagination!

How To Tackle Passionate Love Making

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Need some more tips to transform your sex life? Here’s the ultimate secret of sex gods -passion. This familiar emotion isn’t something that can be faked. It can be induced in your partner through various means, including verbal and behavioral methods. If passion is lacking in your relationship, you won’t be able to improve your sex life. So, how can you inject more passion into your lovemaking?

Passion makes sex phenomenal, but only if you know how to use it properly when you’re in the bedroom with your girl. Done right, your sessions will be hotter, steamier and kinkier than ever.

Get In Touch With Your Sensual Side

Here’s the main difference in the way men and women perceive pleasure during sex. Most men tend to rush to ‘get to the good part,’ while women want to prolong the foreplay so that they can feel comfortable enough to finally orgasm. Women want to reach climax fast, but not at the expense of the sensual side of sex (touching, kissing, fondling etc).

With that said, if you want to please your girl, you’d better learn how to patiently caress her on her sensitive areas before you let go and get your share of the pleasure. Sensual stimulation is a big part of what women consider passionate during lovemaking.

Get Acquainted With Her Hot Spots

Women love to be stimulated. During foreplay, spend some time touching her sensitive areas (clitoris, breasts and the fleshy part of her inner thighs). Some women have hot spots in other places. Heck, I met a girl who loves it when I lick her nape. There’s another girl who likes it when I kiss the crook of her elbow during sex. It’s your job to explore your girl’s body to find out what these hot spots are. Orgasm intensity increases when you do this, and that’s great if your goal is to make sure she doesn’t forget you and your time together even after that night.

Give Her Oral Sex

Did you know that most women expect men to go down there during sex? Giving her head is something that makes sex unforgettable, and you should know this. So, get to work when you sense that she wants you to go down on her.

If you’re the squeamish type, go as far as touching her clitoris with your tongue and keep it on there for a while until she reaches climax. Just kissing her down here is going to make a girl feel special. If you are always willing to go down there and make her climax in the process, you can guarantee yourself another date.

If you ever feel like skipping foreplay so that you can get your pleasure faster, think about this. A girl is less likely to do it again with a guy who shows a lack of passion for her during sex. One mistake men often make is they don’t consider what really makes a girl climax. Avoid that mistake and follow these tips for more passionate lovemaking.

Q&A: Oral Sex – My Girlfriend Doesn’t Orgasm When I Go Down On Her?

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If your girlfriend isn’t having an orgasm when you give her oral sex, you’re not alone. While many women love oral sex, others just can’t let go enough to get to the big “O” when their guys are going down on them. Here’s how to figure out why she’s not able to have an orgasm through oral sex and what you can do to change it.

Question: Me and my girlfriend have a good sex life but whenever I go down on her she stops me after about 5-10 minutes and tells me she’s too tired. This sounds strange to me because whenever she performs on me I don’t seem to get tired. This bothers me because she rarely reaches orgasm and she doesn’t get the full satisfaction. Is there anything I can do and is this common in women?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-2EWBsZqlk&feature=channel[/youtube]

Why She’s Getting Frustrated

It’s easy for a woman to get frustrated with her partner when he’s going down on her. If she’s not getting close to orgasm, or she is getting close and just can’t seem to make it over the edge, it can easily cause frustration and make her want to stop. There could be a lot of reasons why she’s not able to reach orgasm. She might not be able to relax after her day at work or school and the stress of day to day problems might not be something she’s easily able to let go of. Another reason she may not be able to have an orgasm when you go down on her is your technique. You may actually be causing her pain instead of pleasure, because a woman’s clitoris and vaginal folds can be very sensitive to too much pressure or the wrong kind of touch.

Learning To Communicate With Your Partner

Your girlfriend may be telling you she is “too tired” to continue on with oral sex because she just doesn’t know what else to tell you. She may be embarrassed to tell you that you’re not doing it right, or she may not know how to tell you what she likes when you go down on her. As a result, she may just be settling for telling you that she’s too tired and giving up on getting pleasure from oral sex all together. If you really want to learn how to pleasure her orally, take some time to talk to her and communicate with her. Don’t do it during sex, before sex or right after. Discuss with her how she feels about it and what suggestions she has for doing it differently when you are having dinner or watching a movie.

Brush Up On Your Oral Sex Skills

Don’t assume that because your girlfriend is telling you that she’s too tired for oral sex that it’s what she really means. Don’t assume that your oral sex skills are fine and that the problem lies with her. There is always room for learning and brushing up on your oral sex skills! You’d be surprised at what you don’t know about female anatomy and how a woman likes to recieve oral sex. Take our female orgasm quiz to see if you really know how to please a woman when you go down on her!

Q&A: How Do I Ask My Girlfriend For Naked Pictures?

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If you’d rather look at a naked picture of your girlfriend rather than look at porn, you’re not alone. But how can you get her to take a naked picture and most of all, how can you get her to give it to you? Can you just ask her for a naked picture of herself, or is there more to it than that? Here’s what you need to know before asking your lady love for a photo of her lady parts.

Question: Can you tell me how can I ask my girlfriend for a naked picture? We have been together almost a year but I’ve never seen her naked! So how can I ask her for naked picture? Is there any special way I should ask her?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tb-lKl9nb7M[/youtube]

Have You Been Intimate Together Yet?

If you and your girlfriend haven’t had sex together yet, it’s understandable why you would want to see a naked picture of her. You’ve probably fantasized about what she would look like naked, and depending on how long you have been dating, you might be tired of waiting! However, there are many reasons why you shouldn’t ask your girlfriend for a naked picture of herself, especially if you haven’t been intimate with her yet!

When Asking For A Naked Picture Can Get Creepy

If you and your girlfriend haven’t had sex with each other yet, asking for a naked picture of her can be downright creepy and somewhat stalker-ish! For people to be comfortable enough with each other to pass naked pictures of each other back and forth, they usually have to had sex first. That doesn’t mean hurry up and have sex with your girlfriend just so you can get a naked picture of her though! Enjoy your relationship now, and intimacy will happen in its own time. There are many ways that having her take a picture of herself in the nude with her bare breasts can backfire, especially if you and her are under the age of eighteen. If you and her (or just her) are under the age of eighteen, having her take a nude photo is actually illegal and could get you in a lot of trouble. Plus, naked pictures always seem to get into the hands of people who shouldn’t have them, no matter how hard you try to keep them to yourself. Her parents may find them on her phone, or someone could put them up on the Internet without her or your knowledge! It’s better to steer clear of the potential mess that naked pictures can make entirely.

When To Ask

If you and your girlfriend are over the age of eighteen and have been intimate together for quite some time or are even possibly living together, she may be comfortable enough to provide you with a naked picture of yourself for your viewing pleasure. If this is the case, suggest a sexy photo shoot with your partner. Try clothes on at first and see what happens. Don’t push your girlfriend into doing anything she’s uncomfortable with, no matter how silly you may think it is that she doesn’t want to take a picture of herself nude. If she’s uncomfortable with it, drop it.