Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for Sex & Intimacy

Sex Tips & Advice

Q&A: What Is Your Opinion On Fetishes And Bestiality?

By

Fetishes and fantasies are everwhere, and it seems like almost everyone has their own fetish or fantasy that turns them on. Some people have more than one, but the majority of these fetishes are fairly tame, such as a blindfold in the bedroom, handcuffs or even a little hardcore BDSM. Some fantasies fall outside the “norm” though, and it can be difficult to know where to draw the line. Does bestiality cross that line?

Question: What are your opinions on certain fetishes like furries and bestiality?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2Q83OQxHOE[/youtube]

When It Doesn’t Cross The Line

There are lots of fetishes and fantasies that don’t cross the line. For example, shoe fetishes, smoking fetishes, lingerie fetishes…the list goes on and on. It would be impossible to name every single fetish out there, especially since new ones are being discovered almost every day. So how can you determine if your fantasy is kosher? The golden rule here is that as long as everyone involved is a consenting adult and can make an informed decision about being involved, and as long as no one is getting seriously hurt, you’re good to go. Which begs the question, when does a fetish or fantasy cross the line?

When It Crosses The Line

The golden rule applies here too. If someone involved in the activity isn’t a consenting adult and is not able to make an informed decision, you need to find another way to play. This includes kids, animals, people who are too intoxicated or people who are otherwise impaired and do not have the ability to make an informed decision about being involved in a certain activity. So does bestiality fall into this category? Absolutely. Animals cannot answer for themselves whether they want to be involved in an activity and anyone’s best guess is that they don’t and they are quite frankly, unwilling participants.

Are Bizarre Fetishes Wrong?

Not necessarily. While pedophilia and bestiality do indeed cross the line, there are a great deal of “bizarre” fetishes that actually don’t. Urophilia (also known as a golden shower or being urinated on or urinating on someone else), and klismaphilia (the practice of giving or receiving enemas for sexual gratification) are among many of the so-called “bizarre” or “weird” fetishes out there that do absolutely no harm as long as only consenting adults are involved.

If Your Fantasy Goes Too Far…

If your fetish crosses the line, get some help. Don’t be afraid to talk to your doctor or a counselor about it. They can help you find other ways to satisfy your sexual needs without hurting or taking advantage of others, including animals. If your fetish is just plain strange but doesn’t hurt anyone and everyone involved is an adult that is cool with it, go for it! Have fun and enjoy your fantasy. As long as you follow the golden rule, it’s no one else’s business what goes on behind closed doors. On that same token, don’t judge others for their fetishes or fantasies that might seem strange to you – as long as you follow the golden rule.

Q&A: How Many Sex Foreplay Options Can We List In 30 Seconds?

By

Foreplay, for many couples, is the cornerstone of their sexual experiences. However, many couples just don’t engage in enough foreplay! For most of them, a lack of good, fresh ideas is what keeps them from really exploring foreplay with their partner. What are some new foreplay ideas that you can share with your partner?

Foreplay (Wikipedia) – is a set of intimate psychological and physical acts between two or more people meant to create and increase sexual arousal, in anticipation of sexual intercourse.

Can be anything from flirting to playful teasing, to physical stimulation and beyond.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qT0fL11tgM[/youtube]

Physical Stimulation

Many foreplay options include physical stimulation. This is the most direct route to get your partner turned on before sexual intercourse. Touching your partner all over their body, especially in their erogenous zones, can heat things up in the bedroom pretty quickly. Physical stimulation during foreplay can include anything and everything from oral sex, kissing, genital massage and much, much more. Sometimes, just physical stimulation isn’t enough when it comes to foreplay. Oral sex and hand jobs can only go so far time and time again. Although these things are pleasurable, our bodies and minds desire something fresh and new in the bedroom every once in awhile. Get creative with sex toys and come up with new ways to turn each other on physically before sexual intercourse.

Psychological Stimulation

A big part of foreplay, especially for women, is the psychological factor. A person’s mindset plays an important role in the quality of sex, and for many people, being sufficiently turned on mentally is a huge prerequisite for great sex. You can have psychological or mental foreplay with your partner all day if you want. Send sexy text messages to each other, make a naughy phone call or simply give your partner those bedroom eyes to let them know you are turned on and you want it at the soonest possible moment. You can turn your partner on this way well before you even get to the bedroom! One great way to turn your partner on psychologically is to watch pornography with them, or read a steamy novel or erotic book together. All you have to do is use your imagination a little bit and you can come up with dozens of ways to turn your partner on without laying a finger on them.

Making Foreplay A Bigger Part Of Your Sexual Routine

No sex life that doesn’t incorporate at least some degree of foreplay is a good one. While quickies are certainly satisfying sometimes, nothing can take the place of some good old fashioned creative foreplay in the bedroom. Both men and women enjoy foreplay and most of them report wanting more of it – so why isn’t everyone doing it? Foreplay takes time and these days, we’re lucky to have a few moments to ourselves to use the restroom in between work and kids. So foreplay often gets crossed off the list of “Things We Wish We Had More Time For.” Here’s the thing – you’re going to need to make time for more foreplay. The quality of sex with your partner will greatly improve because of it!

Q&A: Should I Talk To My Parents About Sex?

By

Lots of people have questions about sex, especially those in the younger generation. Who is responsible for answering questions about sex? Should a child or teen turn to their friends to learn about sex? Or should they turn to television, movies or music?

I’m 13 and I’ve known about sex since I was 10 years old. Should I ask my parents to tell me about sex, even though I already know?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0cMNIlT0G0&feature=channel[/youtube]

Shirking Responsibility

So should a teen ask his or her parents about sex? Some teens – and parents – would answer that question with a resounding, “No!” In fact, many teens get their sex education from their friends, their friends’ parents, comics, video games, movies and music. But it isn’t the entertainment industry’s job to teach kids and teens about sex. It’s the parent’s job. Much in the same way that a parent should teach a child that the stove is hot, a parent should teach their child about sex. Now that doesn’t mean you have to give your kids tips on the best sex positions, but teaching them about why sex should be approached carefully and safely is a parent’s job. STD’s and pregnancy can hurt a teen as much, if not more, than if a child puts their hand on a hot stove. Besides, who wants their kids learning about sex from the backseat of a car in the video game Grand Theft Auto? Have you seen that video game? It’s time for parents to step up and get past their discomfort and talk to their kids about sex. And it’s time for kids to stop thinking it’s “gross” to have your parent give you sex education because well, they might know a thing or two.

Thinking About It?

If you’re thinking about talking to your parents about sex – or if you’re a parent thinking about talking to your kids about sex – go for it. Ditch the discomfort and learn how to be open and honest. Kids – you may have learned about sex from Johnny’s dad’s funny magazine while his parents weren’t home, but that doesn’t mean you know everything about sex. Ask your parents. You don’t necessarily have to tell them you’ve already heard some things about sex, you definitely need to ask them to share their thoughts and opinions with you, as well as the facts. Parents – if your kids ask about sex, answer their questions! You might be shocked at the ages that some kids are coming up with certain types of questions, but you won’t do any good by refusing to answer their questions. Your kids will still be curious, and they’ll end up getting their information elsewhere. Provide your kids with the truth and they’ll respect you for it.

Safer Sex

The only way teens and even adults are going to start having safer sex is if people get over their fears about sex and start talking about it. Talking about how to prevent sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy is the only way to stop it from happening  – knowlege is power and in this day in age, no one has to be afraid to talk about sex anymore.

Q&A: I Want to Take My Girlfriend to a Swinger Club

By

Swinging and threesomes – it seems as though it is everywhere and is the new “it” for sexual relationships. Is it? Should you incorporate swinging into your lifestyle? Would your partner enjoy going to a swinging club?

I just celebrated my 2nd anniversary with my girl and I was thinking of asking her to go to a swing club – what should I do?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjS8nwBSMGI[/youtube]

Evaluate Your Intentions

First of all, if you’re thinking about taking your partner to a swinging club, think about why you want to take her to a swinging club. Is this something she is interested in, or something you want her to be interested in? Is this something you want and just want her to go along with? Or have you and your partner talked about swinging in the past and both you and your partner showed interest in swinging? The reason you need to look carefully at why you want to swing is because swinging isn’t for everyone. In fact, only the strongest and most trusting relationships can survive swinging. You and your partner both must be completely non-jealous and confident in each other to be able to swing successfully.

Ask Yourself Questions

Sit down and ask yourself a few questions to better guage your partner’s possible response to being asked to a swinger’s club. Does your partner get jealous easily? Is she very possessive of you? If so, swinging may not be her style. Does she show interest in the same sex, or in threesomes or foursomes? Has she talked about swinging or having an open relationship in the past? If this is the case, you might want to talk to her about it. It’s important to think about how your partner will react to being asked to swing before you ask them. If you jump in without thinking ahead, you may offend your partner to the point of damaging the relationship. Sure, it may not be a big deal to you but swinging is that big of an issue to some women. Even suggesting it if she is not open minded may make her feel as though you don’t like her sexually or that you are interested in other women, both of which are not good things for a woman to think.

How To Approach It

Do not – and we repeat – DO NOT ask your girl to go to a swinger club if you haven’t talked about swinging or threesomes first. If swinging is something you would like to try or you think your partner might be interested in, approach the subject slowly. Watch some threesomes with your partner and ask her what she thinks of them. Take it slowly, but communicate with your partner about what she likes and where her interests are. If she respons well, suggest that she might enjoy going to a swinger club. Make it seem like her idea. If she is not open to the idea of swinging, definitely don’t push it. Leave it alone and learn to enjoy sex with your partner in a variety of different ways. Forcing the swinging issue with an unwilling partner isn’t worth it if you value the relationship at all.

Premature Ejaculation: What To Do When IT Happens

By

Premature ejaculation: it’s every guy’s fear to ejaculate prematurely, especially before the fun even starts! Unfortunately, it happens more often than we’d like to think about and most of the time, it’s not handled well. Society breeds men to think that premature ejaculation is embarassing and shameful but nobody bothers to tell anyone else what to do about it or how to fix it. Here’s what you can do when premature ejaculation happens to you.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6xy3rW8OaQ[/youtube]

The First Time

When you’re with a new woman and things are heating up, you may orgasm too soon, especially if you haven’t had any sexual stimulation for awhile. If this happens to you, be honest with your partner. Don’t freak out, don’t panic and definitely don’t be embarrassed. You can actually turn this situation into a compliment for her. Let her know that she is so hot and she turns you on so much that you couldn’t help yourself. Although the situation may not have turned out the way either of you expected, if you handle the situation with class and confidence, she will be flattered that you are so turned on by her.

The Second Time…And Third Time…And So On

What do you do if you ejaculate prematurely a lot when you have sex or worse, every time you have sex? Is there anything you can do to help improve your stamina or to stop premature ejaculation before it happens?

  • See your doctor. Don’t be afraid to talk to your doctor about premature ejaculation – you’re not the first person to ejaculate prematurely and you certainly won’t be the last. Your doctor can rule out any medical or physical problems that would cause frequent premature ejaculation.
  • Eat nutritious food and exercise. If you’re fueling your body with empty carbs or greasy food and living a sedentary lifestyle, your body isn’t going to respond to things the way you want it to. Treat your body well and your body will treat you well.
  • Masturbate. Practice lasting longer with yourself. You don’t have to worry about embarassement or rejection when you masturbate. You can practice improving your sexual stamina and find out which things make you ejaculate quickly and which things can make you hold out longer.
  • Wear a condom. Condoms are safe and a great way to protect yourself, but they can also decrease sensitivity enough that you can last longer in bed. It won’t take away all sensation, but you will find that you have to go a little longer to achieve an orgasm. This may not be a bad thing if you find yourself ejaculating prematurely often.
  • Try less stimulating sex positions. If you find a position that really turns you on and makes you orgasm quickly, avoid that position. Try new ones to help yourself last longer.
  • Slow down. Sex doesn’t have to be fast. In fact, slower sex can be more pleasurable for both partners. If you find yourself going too fast, slow it down a little to avoid a premature orgasm.
  • Try Tantra. Tantra teaches you how to control your body and how to control your pleasure during sex.
  • Practice with your partner. When you have open and honest communication with your partner, you can work on improving your stamina together.