Sex Tips & Advice

For Women Only! How to Make Sex More Pleasurable for YOU…

Many women find it hard to convey to men what they really want in bed. This is due to many reasons from lack of self-confidence to lack of self-awareness.

Another reason is what makes many relationships, sexual and otherwise, fail: the expectation that men can read a woman’s mind and automatically know what she wants in bed!

It is possible for men to discover what works best for you. But this takes a special kind of man who have dedicated himself to becoming a fantastic lover.

However, not all women have the luxury of being with a man who is skilled in bed.

To experience better sex, you should know what turns you on and love yourself enough to take compliments as they are provided. Here are a few tips to keep in mind:

Clear Your Mind

If you’re self-conscious about something, your mind will be consumed by this and so you can’t focus on sexual pleasure. So better get rid of what’s bothering you even before you engage in sex.

For example, if you’re always insecure of how you smell ‘down there’ then make sure you always shower before engaging in sex. If you’re afraid you might accidentally pee while your G-spot is being stimulated, then go have a bathroom break before making love.

Know What Turns You ON

How can you guide him into what brings you pleasure if you yourself don’t know what does?

Some women have a hard time figuring out what turns them on. Compare this to men; for the most part, it’s very easy to figure what what turns a man on.

This can actually be a fun time for you. To know what turns you on, try renting some porn videos and see how you react to what you see. Buy some dirty magazines, romance novels and maybe even some sex toys.

You’ll have to do a bit of self exploration on this one because unlike men, what turns women on is a bit less ‘clear cut’. Once you know what turns you on, experiment with him in bed!

Understand That Men Are Not Mind Readers

Get this straight: Men are NOT mind readers. They cannot instinctively know what brings you the most pleasure. Communicating what is working for you (and making sure that he keeps on doing it) can speed things up towards your female orgasm.

So if you already know what turns you on, don’t be afraid to tell him how best to pleasure you.

Be Specific

For example, if he’s eating you out, tell him exactly how you like to be licked and where.

Communication is key to maximizing your pleasure in bed. The more you know about yourself, and the more you communicate with him, the more pleasure you’ll have. The best part is, you’ll enhance the bond you already have with him by making intimate communication a regular activity in bed.

If You Can Orgasm By Yourself, You Can Orgasm During Sex

Take control of your own orgasm and don’t be so dependant on him to “give” it to you. You can guide him to help you climax during sex, but the quickest way to reach an orgasm (if he’s not sexually skilled) is to help yourself. There’s nothing wrong with it, and trust me, both parties will be happier in the end.

You can apply clitoral stimulation during intercourse, however, not all sex positions are great for self-stimulation. There are a few good positions, like the woman-on-top position that lends itself well to clitoral stimulation.

Is It Okay to Have Anal Sex Without Lube?

By loveandsex

Anal sex, when done correctly, can be a source of pleasure for both men and women. It can break the sense of what is “taboo” and help spice up your sex life as well as giving both you and your partner new and exciting sensations.

However, if done incorrectly, anal sex can cause damage and infection. Without proper lubrication, you and your partner can get into some serious trouble with anal sex!

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I am a sadist, and my girlfriend is a masochist. We both agreed that we wanted to have anal sex without lube.

My fear is that I could cause serious damage that way, because as you stated in a previous segment about anal sex, it’s not meant to be an in-hole and it doesn’t lubricate itself. So, is it possible to have anal sex without lube and not cause serious damage? Or is that just an impossible fantasy?

–Anonymous, California

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G80U_9ZCOGg[/youtube]

Tearing The Membranes

Anal sex is somewhat difficult to begin with, especially for the inexperienced. When having anal sex, it is extremely important to use lots of lubrication to make sure there is no friction. Keep in mind that the anal cavity is quite unlike the vagina. It doesn’t self lubricate like the vagina does.

Without external lubrication, the friction between the penis and the anal cavity can cause tearing. The rectum itself could easily tear, as well as the inner membranes of the lower intestine.

Remember, the anal cavity wasn’t built for sex! It was made for the expulsion of waste. That doesn’t mean you can’t have fun with it though, if you take the proper precautions.

For example, the mouth was designed for eating but that generally doesn’t stop people from having oral sex. With oral sex though, people take the proper precautions and make sure they don’t choke their partner with their penis.

Anal sex is similar, but there are a few more precautions to take. Using lots of lube helps keep the penis and anal cavity moist so there is little to no tearing. Remember to go slow when having anal sex and if it hurts too much, stop!

Infection

Tearing the anal membranes is of special concern because the anal cavity is filled with lots of unfriendly bacteria. In the event of an injury, the bacteria will go straight to the wound and severely impede healing.

Just imagine rubbing feces into a cut on your arm. You wouldn’t want to do that, would you? It’s the same concept with anal injuries. You don’t want them if you can help it.

The bacteria from feces can keep the wound from healing properly and it can also cause infection. If the tear is in the right place and big enough, it can cause fecal matter to leak into your abdominal cavity, causing serious health issues and possibly requiring surgery. Anal sex isn’t something you take lightly!

Take Proper Precautions

If you plan on having anal sex, use every precaution you can. Always use plenty of lubrication and you can protect yourself even further by having your partner wear a condom.

Never insert a penis or other object into a vagina after it has been inserted into the anal cavity without washing it thoroughly. Wash your hands and all toys or other body parts involved in hot, soapy water after you’re finished.

Be careful, and go slow at first, especially if you’re inexperienced. It might be a good idea to come up with a “code word” that means stop, in the event that you’re experiencing too much pain. Never force anal sex! If you are safe and smart, anal sex can become a pleasurable addition to your sex repertoire. If done incorrectly, anal sex can cause you a lot of damage, money and health problems.

It’s always better to be safe and smart!

Spiritual Sex: Reuniting Body And Soul For A Whole Body Orgasm

By mayasilverman

In today’s stressful modern age, it seems as though the practice of sensuality has slowly become a lost art.

Just think about it: with our fast-paced culture and hectic schedules, it’s no wonder that we have very little time for things that require us to slow down and take our time especially when it comes to our sex lives!

Everyday Life Gets in the Way

After all, each one of us is guilty of this behavior. Perhaps you had a long day at the office, or you’ve got a big meeting to prepare for in the early morning. Either way, when you engage in lovemaking with your partner, your mind is somewhere else completely.

You’re focusing on that big report or review at the office, or maybe you’re forming a mental to-do list. Since you’re mind is entirely occupied by distracting thoughts, you can’t focus on lovemaking, and you deny yourself the pleasure that you need.

It’s not that difficult to see why we let the stress of our daily lives negatively affect our sexual energy.

Stress Affects Our Sex Lives

While the act of sex may not require that much thought, achieving an orgasm takes focus which can be hard to do if our minds are focused on our day at the office! Yet if you’re looking to reclaim your sexual pleasure from the stresses of modern life, and to achieve that elusive whole body orgasm that you’ve longed for, follow these rules to max out your soulful sack sessions!

When you want to get your partner revved up for a bedroom romp, chances are you probably focus less on touching and caressing and more on the actual act of sex. Yet if you’re looking to reunite your body and soul for a whole body orgasm that will have you seeing stars, you need to take a step back and focus more on the pleasure that comes with erotic touching.

Max Out Your Partner’s Bliss

Not only can you max out your partner’s bliss by taking the time to caress him or her, but you’ll be heightening the anticipation for lovemaking – a key ingredient for that whole body orgasm!

Erotic touching is an intense and soulful experience, so be sure to engage in intimate behavior: stare into your partner’s eyes while gently stroking him or her along the length of the body. Use erotic touching as a means to explore your partner like never before.

Sure, you may know every nook and cranny of your partner’s body, but how well do you really know it? By using erotic touching, you’ll experience your lover’s body in a new and more spiritual way that will intensify your relationship, both in and out of the bedroom.

Erotic Touching Melts the Tension

An additional bonus: erotic touching can melt the tension that builds up in our bodies from experiencing the daily stress of our modern lives. After all, touch plays an important role in melting away stress and tension.

Just think of all the times that a friendly hug or gentle kiss instantly made you feel more relaxed. Well, this especially applies to your sex life as well, as intimate touching can make you feel relaxed and stress-free. Once that tension is sapped, your mind will be free to focus on your lovemaking which eliminates those pesky roadblocks towards achieving orgasm!

Ideally, erotic touching will build up that first layer of sensation in your quest for the whole body orgasm. Spiritual sex is a multi-layered experience, where sensations are built upon one another until finally culminating in a powerful and soulful orgasm.

Treat Foreplay as the Main Act

So don’t just rush through erotic touching and jump straight into intercourse; instead, treat foreplay as the main act in which you build up a strong foundation towards reaching the brink of sexual nirvana. This is a focal point of tantric sex, in which lovemaking has no final destination, but instead is a spiritual journey which must be enjoyed.

If you approach your sack sessions with this view point, you’ll not only free up your mind from tension and stress; you’ll be more likely to achieve a powerful orgasm because you’re taking the pressure off of it. Sounds a bit backwards, but the less you focus on orgasming, the more likely you will!

The layering of sensations is critical towards intensifying relaxation, arousal and eventually orgasm.

Think of each sensation as a pleasurable journey with no destination in sight; therefore, when you finally are at the brink of pleasure, you’ll easily achieve that elusive whole body orgasm, and what greater stress relief is there than an intense orgasm with your lover that has you seeing stars?

How To Make Love Making a Real Love Making Experience With Touch

By carlatara

People have forgotten the simplest lovemaking ‘technique’ of all: the incredible power of human touch. Even when the opportunity arises in lovemaking sessions for us to give and receive the pleasure of the caress, we tend to get caught up in the drive to ejaculatory orgasms.

Making Lovemaking a Real Love Making Experience

Admittedly, ejaculatory orgasms produce intense pleasure, but without the slow build up of conscious touch, it is more like a sneeze in the groin, just a release of tension, than a deeply satisfying experience that “makes love grow” (love making).

Unfortunately for many people, sex encounters become more mutual masturbation than real love building experiences.

Tantra invites us to take time to thoroughly touch each other to increase arousal across the entire body. Our skin is our biggest organ and needs caring love and attention. But the Tantric touch, the conscious touch, goes deeper than the skin.

Using Conscious Touch

“Conscious touch” means that you are not thinking of something else. Your attention is fully on your lover, how they breathe and how they take in your touch. Your conscious touch stirs up energy, opening up both the heart and the flow of sexual energy in the form of weak electronic waves that continue to build up until they become larger waves that encompass the entire body.

Sometimes we touch how we want to be touched instead of tuning in to see how our lover likes it. If you notice your lover caught up in their own thoughts, notice how you are touching them. Ask if they would like a softer or stronger, slower or faster touch. This will get their attention back, and you will get a chance to give them the touch they desire.

Touch is both sensuous and healing. The most obvious emissaries of love are our arms, and the focal points from which love flows are the palms. When we touch our loved ones, we help them heal from any pain or disappointment they experience during the day, and they feel that life is worth living just to be touched by you.

Connecting Your Intention With Your Breath

When you connect your intention to your breath, you will feel their muscles sucking in that attention, all the way down to the bones. Yes, bones need love and attention, too, and your intention connected with your breath is powerful enough to penetrate deeply.

Tantric people know that touching a lover does not have to end in ejaculation. Some women cringe when their men start touching them because they know it will end up in intercourse and they might not be in the mood.

I invite men to set up a “just touching time” with your beloved. Then, even when she gets excited you keep your agreement of “just touching” during that time. Doing this often, you build up trust in your word, and she will be touched with joy anytime you do so.

And I promise you that both of you will have an incredibly great time touching and making love.

To learn more about Carla Tara, visit www.1Tantra.com.

eXtreme Sex Ed: I Feel Like I Have To Pee During Oral Sex!

By loveandsex

Feeling like you have to urinate during oral sex, or any other type of sexual activity, can be quite unnerving the first time it happens. If it happens often, you might become even more confused or be tempted to avoid oral sex all together.

Is it normal to feel like you have to urinate during oral sex or other sexual activity? What can you do about it so you can enjoy your partner?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’m relatively new at this whole sex thing. I grew up a pastor’s kid…. Anyways, I’m married now, and there are problems. I’ve got tons of questions but no one to ask. Questions that can’t be answered by books. Is it normal to feel like peeing when a person does oral on you? I kind of squirm, cause it feels like I want to pee, and I would be mortified if that happened. So I avoid it all together, which is a shame cause I’d like to know how it truly feels…

–Scarlett, NJ

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPq3_2ADKwI[/youtube]

The Whole Package

Your genitals actually come in a whole package. The muscles, nerve endings and organs all work together to help you to urinate, achieve orgasm and have sexual intercourse or other sexual activity.

Some of the muscles and nerve endings do two different things. The same muscles that contract while you urinate are also the same muscles that spasm during orgasm.

It’s only natural to consider that sometimes your body might get a little confused. You’re experiencing sexual pleasure and the muscles that are getting ready to spasm during an orgasm might actually make you feel like you have to urinate instead. This is totally normal and it actually happens to both women and men.

Although it’s perfectly normal to feel like you have to urinate during oral sex or other sexual activity, that doesn’t make it any less frustrating or confusing when it happens.

Prevention is Key

If you feel like you have to urinate during oral sex, does that mean you actually do have to urinate? Probably not, but it is certainly possible. If you find yourself feeling like you have to urinate during sexual pleasure, try to preempt yourself by using the restroom before you and your partner get busy.

This can help reduce or eliminate the feeling of having to urinate once you and your partner start pleasuring each other. If you feel the need to urinate during oral sex, feel free to stop your partner and let them know that you need to use the restroom.

You can incorporate it into your sex play by suggesting a hop in the shower with a nice soapy massage or you can just do your business and continue afterwards. It’s up to you based on how comfortable you feel with your partner at the time.

If It Happens

Although it probably won’t happen, if you do urinate a little during oral sex or other sexual stimulation, it’s really not a big deal. Most likely it will be a tiny, tiny amount and your partner may not actually notice it if you have other secretions going on as well. If your partner does notice, relax a little bit!

You’re not the only one it’s ever happened to and it might be good for a laugh later. There’s no need to avoid sexual pleasure, oral sex or other types of sexual activity because you’re afraid of urinating during the process.

When experiencing sexual pleasure in general, it’s likely that your body is going to do many different things, some of which might be considered embarrassing or uncomfortable.

You may pass gas or you may feel the need to urinate. Relax a little and chalk it up to the human body. Learn to accept your body, and your partner’s, and everything that comes with it.