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You are here: Home / Archives for Sex & Intimacy

Sex Tips & Advice

How to Get a Woman to Masturbate on the Phone With You – Phone Sex for HER Pleasure

By david

Khiem and I are walking right now with Yakub, and we’re hanging out and doing what we call a “brainstorm day.”

Well, actually they both goofed off on some weird internet sites for a little while which they didn’t share with me and they downloaded things to my Mac which sort of scares me a little bit, but at least I’ll have some fun entertainment when I get home.

But we were all hiking and talking, and they were asking me, “What are the secrets of how to get her to masturbate for you on the telephone?”

Now, I’ve been somebody who has absolutely enjoyed the benefits of phone sex even before women got to enjoy the benefits of the Blackberry-vibrating phone sex! How to get a woman to masturbate for you on the phone is really very simple.

Use what you know

First, you have to call them late at night. Let’s say you’ve been emailing this woman back and forth. You’ve been flirting in emails back and forth, and maybe you’ve had a couple of phone conversations, and she tells you she’ll be around that night for you two to talk.

What you need to do in that email or text message is ask, “How late can I call you? I want you to be really cozy and comfortable when I call, so you’re not thinking anything about the day.” Then she’ll tell you how late you can call.

So then you call her that late – 11 o’clock at night. She’s in bed, she’s wearing her little jammies, and you start conversing with her. You talk to her about emotions, about anything that has to do with a deep topic. Because remember sex for a woman starts in her mind. You need to connect with her.

You can’t get on the phone with her and say, “So what are you wearing right now? Do you want to masturbate with me on the phone?” No! It’s about connecting.

Phone sex foreplay

Picture it as foreplay – or phoneplay! What you need to do is just talk to her a little bit, get to know her a little bit, make a comment on something you guys have shared together – maybe this is like the first or second phone call, and you’ve learned things about her.

Maybe she’s told you that she really loves deep conversations. You can say to her, “Man, I really love deep conversations with you. I love to get to know you better.  It’s so much fun. I’m enjoying exploring you. I’m enjoying penetrating your mind.” When you talk in very subliminal sexual ways, it will make her very sexually turned on.

Most guys make the biggest mistake: a woman is talking to you late at night, you’re having an emotional conversation and you’re connecting, and the guy will immediately ruin it by saying, “Are you wet right now?” Or “You know, my cock’s hard.  You want to feel it?”

You don’t want to say that! What you have to assume is that she’s already turned on. What I like to do is use very subliminal language. “I’m having so much fun connecting with you now.”  That’s foreplay in her mind. “I’m having a great time learning about you.” “Wow, I wish I was sitting right there with you right now, seeing your eyes during this conversation” That’s another thing to say to her…

Or say, “Oh my God, did we just have like a kiss moment?” when you are talking about something. There’s a pause, and you both feel it. Then you need to get a bit more daring. Say, “Did we just have a kiss moment?” and she’ll say, “Well, yeah, I think so!” Then you can say, “Alright, let’s play true confession. If I was there right now, what would you want to do?”

And then she’ll tell you. If she feels comfortable, she’ll say, “Oh, I really want to kiss you and touch you right now.” You can say, “Touch me? I barely even know you! How do you know I’ll even let you?” You want to be a little bit playful.

Then she’ll say, “Oh come on. What do you want to do?” And then you tell her.

What I always say over and over again is, “If I was there right now, I would look deep inside your eyes. I would kiss you. I would look at you, and I want to feel your energy. I want to look and see what I stir up inside you after I kiss you.”

How to know when she’s getting into it

All of a sudden, she’ll take a deep breath, and say, “Really? Tell me more.” So then you tell her more! “I’m a very passionate person, and I love to explore a woman’s body, but only after I connect with her mind and her soul,” and then describe what you’d love to do to her.

What I do is do it very subliminally: “Right now, if you were standing in front of me, I would LOVE to look at you after I kissed you and see how hungry your eyes are. I’ll know just by the look in your eyes how I want to proceed with your body. I’ll know what I want to do next.”

You’re taking control at this point. You’re painting a picture. Most men don’t paint that picture – they paint a picture of weakness. You are basically telling her, “If I was there right now,  this is what I would do to you.”

Then, at that point, you have to judge her temperature. You can ask, “Well, do you want to hear more?” 99.9% of the time, she’s going to say of course! At this point, you want to be very subliminal in what you say to her. You want to say things like, “After I’m done kissing you, I would take a look and I know your body would be talking to me, and I know exactly what I would do. I would start at your neck…” and describe it.

“I would start at your neck, because I want to taste your skin in my mouth.” Use very explicit terminology: “I would then take my mouth and kiss every inch of your body, tasting every bit of you, and feeling your energy and the way you react” Use those terms. Not once do you ever say, “I want to spread your legs and lick you like an ice cream cone!” It’s all very subliminal.

At this point, you tell a story.  It’s all about how you tell that story . “Man I would just take you, flip you over, and kiss your back from head to toe,” and listen to the way that she is breathing. If she starts breathing a little bit heavier, or sighing a little bit or if she says, “Tell me more” and her voice is getting very breathy, it might even seem like she’s out of breath at this point. She might having short little bursts of breath, and saying, “more, more more…”

More, more, more

Then you can say to her, “Alright, if I was standing there, what would you do to me?” and allow her to describe it now. The thing about sex, and what a lot of men don’t do because they don’t understand how sexual women really are, is give women a chance to express their sexuality. Women are very sexual creatures.

You want to give women a chance to express their sexuality by saying, “Tell me what you would do for me.” Let them tell you and react to it! React positively. When she tells you the things she wants to do, say, “God I love that.” Encourage her a little bit more. A lot of times, her ex-boyfriend or ex-lover didn’t allow her to do those things – she didn’t feel that sexy around him.

The reason why she is exploring this with you over the safety of the phone is that she is trying to figure out who you are. She already has a fantasy about you in her head, so allow her to talk about that fantasy. And every time she says something great, say, “Oh man, that is so hot,” or, “Wow! That would feel so good,” or “I’m yours. You can do that!” And then just add some stuff to it so it becomes this conversation.

Then, at that point, when she is describing things, not only have you turned her on, but she’s turning herself on. You are allowing her to talk about her inner fantasies. At that point, you can say to her, “Let me ask you now, how wet are you?” She will say, “Very.” You then say, “I want you to feel yourself right now, and then describe to me how wet you are. Describe what it feels like in your fingers.”

Her reaction?

Many times she will say, “Oh I’ve been touching myself the whole time!” You ask, “You’ve been touching yourself?” And then you take total control. “Really. I want you to touch yourself some more, and I want to hear you. I want to hear what you’re fantasizing about right now. I want to hear your passion for me. I want to listen. I’m going to talk you through this. I want to listen to what you are burning for right now…” and allow her to talk.

Keep asking her, “What are you doing?” and she’ll tell you what she is doing! Encourage her. “Oh, keep doing that, I want to hear you cum. Cum for me baby, come on.” And then she’ll ask you if you’re touching yourself.

Whether or not you are watching ESPN or touching yourself is your own prerogative, but you say that you are touching yourself. Hopefully you are enjoying the phone sex, and actually having phone sex with her.

This is the way that you get a woman to have phone sex.

Not only that, but once you have phone sex with her, real sex is right around the corner. There is no waiting, no games, no playing, NOTHING. Once they’ve played with you on the phone, they want to play with you in person. You have something to go on.

The next day you text her and say, “Oh man, I’m going to make you beg tonight again. I’m going to make you beg!” and she’ll say, “Oh please don’t make me beg! When are we going to see each other?” And she’s going to beg, because you’ve gotten inside her head.

You have gotten inside her mind, and you’ve gotten inside her soul, like most guys haven’t done.

And that’s how you have great phone sex!

Filed Under: Sexting & Phone Sex Tagged With: female orgasm, foreplay, how to masturbate, masturbation, orgasm, phone sex

Frustrated Girl: It Takes 45 Minutes to Orgasm with Oral Sex!

By loveandsex

If you’re a female frustrated by not being able to orgasm through oral sex – especially if you used to be able to – you’re not alone.

That probably doesn’t make you feel any better, but take heart in the fact that there are some things you can do to help solve the problem and once again climax through oral sex.

Here’s a question from a girl who is feeling incredibly frustrated by her inability to have an orgasm, even if her boyfriend tries for 45 minutes!

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Any advise for WOMEN on receiving oral sex?  It seems to take longer and longer to reach an orgasm lately and quite often I get so frustrated that I lose the mood. I feel tense during oral sex and I’m sure that has something to do with it but I just don’t know how to make myself relax.

It used to be wonderful, but now I feel like it’s a waste of time. I feel bad for my fiancé who spent as much as 45 minutes there only for me to give up from frustration.

PLEASE…. I need help here!  I WANT THAT FEELING BACK! Any advice?

— Amber,   North Carolina

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8ihQi16hc8[/youtube]

Ask yourself – can you still climax well by yourself?

If you notice that you’ve been frustrated while masturbating as well, you might want to mention the fact to an OBGYN or sex therapist.  If you’re still able to orgasm well while you’re masturbating, everything is probably fine with the mechanics.

Are you focusing too much on orgasm?

Many women who are unable to climax through oral sex (or who are no longer able to after having been able to for awhile) are often too focused on the end result and they’re just not enjoying the ride.  Relax and let the feeling of oral sex take you over.

Don’t think in your head, “Am I close yet?” If you do, you’ll never get close – it’s a lot like watching a pot that never boils.  Try simultaneous oral sex with your partner. You’ll be both giving and receiving pleasure and it might take your mind off of the end result long enough for you to actually have an orgasm.

Give your partner direction.

Don’t be negative. Telling your partner how you don’t like what he’s doing will only serve to hurt his fragile ego. Be positive and tell him what you do like.  Don’t be afraid to speak up. Guys love that.  They also love that they’re not shooting in the dark trying to pleasure you.  They enjoy having feedback so they know what to continue doing.

Let your partner know that you like it a certain way, or if he’s in a good spot.  If he’s not in a good spot, try telling him to move a little one way or the other way. Give it time to get synced together when it comes to giving directions – it may not happen right away for you. Before long, however, your partner will learn what feels good to you and repeat only those maneuvers – sending you into climax heaven.

If it’s still not working, you should take a break from trying for a little while.  You know how you look for something you’ve lost, and you look and look but once you give up, you usually find it within a few minutes?  This might fall along those same lines.  Relax and try something new for awhile, such as experimenting with sex toys or new intercourse positions.

After awhile, when you and your partner both feel like you’re ready to try oral sex again, give it a shot!  You might just find out that a solid break is exactly what you needed to revive yourself and get back into the oral sex groove!  Often times, repeating oral very often will lead to less sensitivity, so taking a break might be the ticket out of the funk you’re in.

Above all, don’t put too much stock in one single act of sex.  There are plenty more things to do with your partner where you can experience both intimacy and orgasm!

Filed Under: Orgasm Tagged With: female orgasm, oral sex, orgasm, sex tips, Sex Toys

How to Strip and Lap Dance for Your Man – and WHY You Should…

By loveandsex

Strip clubs often get a bad rap.

So many women know the feeling of aggravation and doubt when their man calls and says he’s “working late”, taking his “client” to discuss some important business at his favorite strip club. Yeah, right, it’s just “for the client” or “for his boss”. As if your man was dragged in that strip club against his will, kicking and screaming, while those bad, bad women were assaulting him with an exotic striptease. Yeah right.

Of course anyone who complaints about a strip club for men has never been to one of the really wild strip clubs – the ones for women. Damn. And you thought the men got wild. Let’s just say some of these ladies in the audience would surprise you. But that’s another story.

While your man is “talking business” at his favorite strip club, all you can do is sit at home and brood, getting more and more mad by the minute. Wondering what he is or isn’t doing with those topless women hanging all over him.

Here’s an idea…  Instead of sitting around complaining about the situation, getting yourself more and more frustrated, why not take the situation into your own hands. Take your man to a strip club, and enjoy the experience as a couple. No, you don’t have to go to a trashy one that only guys would enter. Pick a nice, upscale one. Yes, contrary to the societal perception, there are many upscale strip clubs that are perfectly safe and welcoming to women and couples. In fact, you’d be surprised to learn how many strip clubs are actually owned by women.

Fact is, most men find it incredibly sexy and arousing when a beautiful woman knows how to strip for them.

And here’s the big surprise. Most men don’t want some strange woman doing these exotic and intimate dances for them. They would love to see their woman, the girl they fell in love with – do it for them.

So why not take advantage of what you just learned, and do something that will bring you closer together? Give him what he wants, so he doesn’t have to go get it somewhere else. He’ll be so happy you took the initiative, and prepared something for him that you knew he’d love.

But where can a “good girl” learn how to strip tease and do a lap dance?

Well, you could start going to strip clubs and watching those girls, day after day… or you could take a class.

But we like to work smarter, not harder. In these days of the Internet and instant access to information, you don’t have to wait for your strip tease class to start in 3 months. You can download a live video, step by step course, that’ll teach your what you need to know BY THIS AFTERNOON. Sure you won’t get it all in 10 minutes, but you can know it TODAY…

There are several courses out there, but one we’ve found that we’re impressed with is Lapdance Unleashed, produced by Jay Archer and Tiffany Claire.

Jay and Tiffanly put together lap dance and striptease instructional videos and step-by-step written instructions for the girl-next-door.
A little something for the woman who’s looking for something new, hot and exciting turn up the heat in her relationship.

One thing we really liked about this video course is that it teaches the “woman next door” how to give a lap dance with total confidence. It’s not intended for “strippers in training” (though it could be), but rather for the real woman who’s looking for something new, hot and exciting turn up the heat in her relationship.

You’ll learn to strip and lap dance for your man with simple instructional video lessons that take all the mystery out of learning how to strip & lap dance. And instead of getting embarrassing DVD packages in the mail, you’ll be able to just watch these from any computer, anywhere, anytime. Right away.

So if you love your man, why not at least consider it?

Jay and Tiffany have broken down stripping and lap dancing to a science, and they teach you how to do it in 8 simple video lessons…

Part 1: How To Prepare For Giving Your Man The Sexiest Lapdance Of His Life!

You’ll learn about everything from the right music to put on, to what to wear, to techniques for creating massive confidence and sex appeal…

Part 2: How To Start The Lapdance Confidently

If you’ve ever wondered how exactly to start giving your man a lapdance without looking awkward or silly, then this section is for you.

Part 3: How To Perform The Seven Basic Lapdance Moves

Follow along as Tiffany Claire demonstrates how to perform the seven basic moves of a good lapdance, with step-by-step online videos, pictures, and simple written instructions.

Part 4: How To Master The Six Advanced Lapdance Moves

Use these moves when you’re ready to take the lapdance to the next level and really turn your man on.

Part 5: How To Remove Your Clothes Seductively, Without Looking (Or Feeling) Silly…

How to remove your clothes in the most seductive and sexy way possible, without fumbling or looking silly.

Part 6: How To End The Lapdance With Total Confidence

Find out how to avoid the sometimes awkward situation right at the end of the lapdance, after you’ve worked your man into a speechless frenzy of anticipation… so you can confidently take control of the situation and lead it into wherever you want it to go next.

Part 7: How To Put It All Into Action, Step-By-Step

Part 8: Answers From Jay Archer And Tiffany Claire

Answers to all your biggest and most pressing questions about lap dancing.

They also throw in a bunch of pretty cool bonuses, including “Look Good Naked – Five Beauty Secrets From Professional Exotic Dancers” and “Blowjob Tutorial – What Every Man Wishes You Knew About Giving Head”

Check out How to Srip – Lapdance Unleashed and let us know what you think. Better yet, let us know what your guy had to say after your “little surprise”.

Filed Under: Foreplay Tagged With: foreplay, lap dance, sex tips, strip tease

Medications and Orgasm – Help! My Wife Thinks She’s the Reason I Can’t Orgasm

By loveandsex

It’s a fact of life – some medications inhibit orgasm.  If you’re prescribed a medication that may do this, make sure you’re taking it for the right reasons and that you’re prepared to deal with the side effects.

Not being able to have an orgasm during sex because of a medication can be depressing, especially if there’s nothing you can do about it, but there are things you can do to lessen the blow.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I am on medication that doesn’t allow me to always have an orgasm. It does not interfere with my ability to maintain an erection. Sometimes way too long.

The fact I do not always have an orgasm upsets my wife. I have told her it is the medication and not her. She thinks that she is doing something wrong.

– Michael, Florida

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAcMSD0_xrg[/youtube]

How do I explain to my partner why I can’t orgasm?

While it is certainly no fun for you, being on a medication that inhibits your ability to orgasm will affect your partner as well.  It may be difficult to communicate to a partner that your lack of orgasm is not because of them – and it may be difficult for a partner to truly accept that even if you do let them know.

This can be the cause of many arguments when in reality, it’s nobody’s fault.

What can you do?

Make sure it’s really the medication.

Your doctor is the only person who can answer that question.  It’s important that you see your doctor if you feel like something isn’t working properly.  Let your doctor know all of your symptoms – for example, if you’re having an orgasm some of the time or not at all and if you’re experiencing other suspicious symptoms such as a prolonged erection or anything else you think might need to be brought to their attention.

Your doctor can tell you for sure if what you’re experiencing is normal and if it’s a side effect of the medication or not.

Be prepared to answer questions – your doctor will most likely need to ask quite a few to really pinpoint the cause of the lack of orgasms and other symptoms.  If it really is your medication, talk to your doctor about how it’s affecting your day to day activities.  It’s possible that your doctor can suggest an alternative medication or treatment.

Bring your partner with you to the doctor.

If you’re having a difficult time communicating to your partner that your lack of orgasm is due to the medication you’re taking, hearing it from a medical professional might help it sink in.  Your partner can then begin to understand what you’re going through and offer their support.

You might be emotionally taken aback from not being able to have an orgasm and your partner’s love and support will make all the difference in the world.

Now what?

Depending on what your doctor says, you might end up staying on the medication and forgetting about the orgasms.  It’s a hard situation to face, but it’s not the end of the world.  Sex isn’t all about the orgasm.  Relax and enjoy the ride.  You don’t have to have an orgasm during each sexual experience for it to be pleasurable and fun!

You and your partner can take turns pleasing each other and explore new ways that you can enjoy each other sexually without orgasm.  Just because you’re not having an orgasm because of medication you’re taking doesn’t mean it’s the end of the road for you sexually.

Take to heart that this might not be forever – discuss with your doctor how long you need to be on the medication (if there are no alternatives) and when you can expect to gain back your ability to orgasm once you stop taking it.  You, your doctor and your partner should be able to work together to reach a compromise between a healthy sex life and your medication.

Filed Under: Erectile Dysfunction / Last Longer In Bed Tagged With: erectile dysfunction (ED), how to last longer in bed, male orgasm, premature ejaculation

Honestly, Does Penis Size Really Matter?

By loveandsex

It’s an age old question. Does penis size really matter?

Certainly, it depends on who you ask. Some people prefer large penises and others prefer quite small ones.  The majority of people, however, agree that penis size is relative to the vagina.

If a penis fits the vagina, it really doesn’t matter how big it measures because, well . . . it fits!

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Does penis size really matter?

– Small Penis Guy, CA

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQUsjfaPrrA[/youtube]

The Penis Size Controversy

The controversy over penis size has been talked about for ages and no one really seems to have come up with a conclusion.  Many men feel as though they are too small and, honestly, it’s a common misconception. It’s all about whether the penis fits the vagina or not.  Everyone comes in different shapes and sizes and that includes both male and female genitalia.  Where sexual pleasure is concerned, the greatest pleasure is often derived from intercourse with someone whose genitalia physically matches your own.

If The Penis Fits…

For example, women with extremely long vaginal canals might prefer larger penises while women with small vaginas might feel that a large penis is too big or painful and prefers a smaller, more compact penis.  Men whose penises are quite wide will often like a woman to be wider as well, as that type of vagina is more accommodating.  It really all boils down to who you’re with. Is your penis too small for her vagina and you’re unable to make her climax?  Is it so big that it causes her pain?  If you find yourself in this situation, you might want to take matters into your own hands – no pun intended. If you fear that your penis may be too small, too large or simply not the right shape or size for your partner’s vagina, it’s time to get creative.

Creative Ways to Work a Size Mismatch

Don’t rely completely on intercourse for you and your partner’s sexual pleasure. It will lead to very boring, monotonous sex especially if you two have a size mismatch.  Try incorporating oral sex on both the receiving and giving ends, or use hands and toys to give your partner pleasure.  If you stick to just intercourse, you’re likely to be frustrated and disappointed.

Work with your partner to find new and creative ways you can please each other sexually in addition to intercourse.  Perhaps using a little extra lubrication or a toy during intercourse will stimulate her so that your penis size isn’t completely what she’s focused on.  There are hundreds of ways you can “ad lib” during sexual exploration and the only limit to what you and your partner can do is your imagination.

When Penis Size Does Matter

If you and your partner can’t work it out so that you can both derive sexual pleasure from each other, it’s time to evaluate your relationship.  There are ways to be intimate without sex and many happy couples do not have sex with each other at all or don’t have sex often.  Evaluate whether you would be comfortable finding other ways to be intimate besides sex.  If not, it might be time to move on.

If you and your partner are having pleasurable sex, then you can probably put the penis size issue to bed.  If you’re a good match physically, it doesn’t matter. If you and your partner aren’t a good match, the best thing to do is simply to give new, creative ideas a shot in the bedroom and see where they take you.  You can decide where to go from there.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: big penis, erectile dysfunction (ED), penis enlargement, penis size, sex tips, small penis, viagra

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