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You are here: Home / Archives for Sex & Intimacy

Sex Tips & Advice

12 Unbreakable Domination Rules

By loveandsex

Domination can be fun and sexy, but you need to make sure you don’t cross the line. Here are twelve things to keep in mind when getting your BDSM on.

Here’s how this game is played: one partner is the dominant one (the top) and the other plays the submissive role (the bottom). It is the power component that differentiates this form of lovemaking: the bottom accepts the vulnerable position and leaves all responsibility in the hands of the top.

Before engaging to it, be sure that you’re both aware of the following four conditions for good B/D:

  • You know and trust each other enough to go beyond the “normal code” of sexuality
  • You both agreed to practice safe sex and take all the necessary safety precautions so that nothing stands in the way of your pleasure.
  • Neither you, nor her is pressured or uncomfortable doing it.
  • Whenever something starts to feel painful or wrong, you stop immediately.

Do NOT Break These Rules

1. Be Careful With Your Knots

Don’t do anything air, circulation or joint constrictive. Don’t use slipknots (they’ll tighten up when pulled) or stockings (being so thin and slippery, they also tend to tighten up under pressure). The act of bondage is just make believe, so use knots tied very loosely or even thread.

NOTE: keep a pair of scissors nearby, just in case.

2. Never Use Alcohol Or Drugs Before Or During

Don’t abuse alcohol or drugs before doing BDSM. Your judgment will be impaired and you might overdo everything.

3. Use The Right Tools For The Job

Don’t improvise. Use specially designed sex toys for bondage, if you want to remain on the safe side. They are easy to use and don’t present complications.

4. Always, ALWAYS Have A Safe Word

Invent an escape word. Agree on an escape word that ends the game immediately when uttered. A clear and established sign is more prone to be taken into consideration than mere begging, which might be taken as a game play move.

5. Establish Boundaries First

Create a checklist. Sit down with your partner and write what is ok to do and what is not, so that there are no misunderstandings.

6. Don’t Forget The Intimacy

Keep the heat on. Whether you are on the giving or receiving and of the bondage equation, take every opportunity to behave seductively toward your partner. If you want this to work, you must not allow yourselves to get lost in the preparations and forget the goal of all this experience, which is to feel good and share your love for one another.

7. Don’t Aim To Hurt

Stay on the comfort side. The purpose of bondage is to restrain the body for sexual pleasure, but it shouldn’t cause you pain or irritation. It might end up distracting you and putting you off.

8. Keep It Simple

Rope, and handcuffs, and leather, and ear bunnies, and spanking, and dirty talk – sometimes too much is just that- too much. You don’t need to re-enact everything that you’ve read in all the books and magazines that have passed through your hands. Excess fumbling and fussing over elaborate details obscure the ultimate goal.

9. Know Your Limitations

As adventurous as you might be, there are some things that you just can’t do, and attempting to impose or maintain a position at the expense of anatomical realities eventually results in frustration and disappointment.

10. Know How To Release Your Partner Quickly

One of your first purchases when you’re preparing for this type of sexual activity should be a pair of paramedic scissors from a medical supply store. The blades will be at a ninety-degree angle to the handle and the lower one will have a blunt end to avoid cutting skin as you cut rope. If you’re using locking restraints (such as handcuffs), know where the key is at all times, and always have a backup one for emergencies.

11. Pay Attention To The Warning Signs

The human body is extremely unpredictable and no two bodies react the same to the same things. Fainting, out-of-focus gazing and talking, flushed an pale face, clammy skin, all these are signs that she’s not really liking what you two have put together. If you see any of these signs on her face, be prepared to put her out of the restraints immediately.

12. Never, EVER Leave A Partner Who Is Tied Up Alone – EVER

Not for a minute, not for a second. She’s helpless and she’s counting on you to be there. No matter what role play game you’re ‘pretending’ to play, always keep in mind that you’re responsible for whatever outcome this has, since you’re the one pulling the shots. Stay in the same room at all time and keeps your eyes and ears peeled for the tiniest sign of discomfort.

Filed Under: Bondage, Fetishes, & Fantasies Tagged With: bdsm, domination, sex tips, submission

5 Sex Rules You Need To BREAK!

By serenapaige

Sex tips are fairly common for all men and women. Whether you think that you should not fake an orgasm or that you should last for hours on end, the rules of nookie are similar to a lot of rules in life: they are made to be broken.

Following those tired old rules of only doing it when you’re in the mood or conducting exactly five minutes thirty five seconds of foreplay before you engage in intercourse can be a burden.

1. Time Matters

One of the biggest misconceptions about nookie is that it is best when it lasts for hours on end. This is not always the case. Yes, you can have an all nighter and it might be the best sex you’ve ever had. However, you can have an amazing quickie with your partner at the drop of a hat.

Having sex quickly can be even more exciting than have a long session. Some men think that they have to be seductive and build up. While this is true in most cases, your wife or girlfriend can easily reach climax as quickly as you do. Don’t get hung up on the amount of time that you spend getting it on.

2. He Always Has To Initiate

A lot of women think that it’s the guy’s job to initiate. While it is fairly traditional for a girl to be more submissive than dominant, she doesn’t have to be one who is always waiting. If you’re a woman and you want sex, make the first move yourself. You will find that you have more control over the situation and the change of pace will work to your advantage. Taking control over your partner can also work wonders for your confidence levels.

The next time that you feel the need for nookie, don’t wait for the guy to make the first move. Make it yourself and you will be glad that you did.

3. Fantasies Are For Porn

There are a lot of men and women that do not explore their fantasies when it comes to getting it on. While there are a lot of different fantasies that have made their mark on the porn industry, they are there for a reason. Exploring fantasies with your partner can be a great way to not only shake things up, but take things to next level.

Exploring fantasies with your husband, wife, girlfriend or boyfriend can build intimacy and show them a vulnerable side. A lot of people forgo this because they are afraid of their partner rejecting the idea or thinking that they are strange because of their inner desires. Be open to what you partner wants without judgment.

4. We Both Have To Climax

Another misconception that couples commonly face is whether or not they both have to have an orgasm for the sex to be good. There are a lot men and women that take more pleasure out of pleasuring their partner than actually getting pleasure themselves. If you think that you both have to have an orgasm in order for the nookie to be great, then you’re wrong. Some women do not reach orgasm very easily.

This doesn’t mean that they don’t enjoy climbing in between the sheets, it just means that they do not climax with as much ease as men do. This also doesn’t mean that they do not enjoy the intimacy that comes from having sex. Great nookie doesn’t even have to be sex. You and your partner can derive the same amount of intimacy by just using foreplay. Try to focus on the journey rather than the destination when you are with your partner.

5. We Should Always Orgasm Together

If you think that you should always orgasm together then you should really take a look at your relationship. There are going to be times when you have a lot on your mind or when your partner has a lot on their mind. There are going to be times when you just can’t get there. It takes a lot of work for a couple to climax together even 50 percent of the time.

Don’t treat your sex life like it’s a transaction where the both of you get exactly the same amount out of it. If one of you has an orgasm before the other then it’s fine. There is always oral sex, manual stimulation and other methods to get your partner or yourself off.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: better sex, orgasm, sex tips, sexual fantasies

4 Ways You’re Touching Her Wrong

By loveandsex

Foreplay is something you never, ever want to skip before sex but what if you’re doing it wrong? Could you be wasting your time when it comes to foreplay?

Your partner can tell a lot by your touch, including exactly how you feel about touching her. Whether you’re nervous, unskilled, aggressive or ignorant, your bad touch will speak louder than any words. Here are 4 ways you’re messing up the foreplay.

1. The “Nervous Nelly”

This kind of hesitant, unsure touch paired with “Is this good? How does that feel? What about this? Should I do a bit more of this? Or maybe that other thing!” will drive any woman mad, and not with pleasure. What does a nervous touch tell a woman?

That you don’t know what you’re doing and are too busy worrying about what she thinks of you to focus on making her feel good! You’re not between her legs to craft some dissertation on the poetry of her beauty. You’re there to be the best sex toy she’ll ever enjoy. Get over yourself and get to work.

2. The “Man-Handler”

Unfortunately, confidence isn’t enough. If you barge on ahead but are so caught up in enjoying yourself that you forget that the breasts in your hands are attached to a warm body, you are probably manhandling your girl. I can guarantee that’s not enjoyable for anyone.

Man-handling simply tells her that you don’t have the experience to touch her like you know what you’re doing, or the knowledge to notice that you aren’t hitting the right buttons. Don’t let it dissuade you unnecessarily; she already knows that you are a man and didn’t grow up with the same body she already knows. Calm down, take a few deep breaths and try to pay attention to her reactions when you touch her. Tease, tantalize – this is art, not construction.

Discover the answer to the question, “What new way can I touch her that makes her feel even better than I’ve ever made her before?” Do it by asking her to show you with her own hands. If you’ve never watched her body speak before, why would she expect you to already be fluent in her language? Take the time to learn by not being scared about using the wrong word. If you make a mistake, she’ll tell you.

3. The “Rough-And-Tumbler”

Feel like you have something to prove? Maybe you think you’re being aggressive or dominant, strong or sturdy, but getting rough without the clear go-ahead can be scary and can put the person you love in a pretty awkward position.

This kind of attitude tells her that you don’t respect her body or her boundaries. If you tend to “grab-on-tight and don’t-let-go,” it’s time to loosen up and enjoy the If you really want to see how she’s doing, get up close and personal, listen to her heartbeat, the quickness of her breath.

4. “The Hokey Pokey”

Your lover is not a pot roast, you don’t get to “stick a fork in her” to see if she’s done. Poking and prodding, whether trying to elicit a reaction, or determine arousal levels, can only lead to deflated desire. Poking the girls to make them cry stopped being an effective courting technique when you were eight.

Time to give up that juvenile attitude towards your body’s ability to speak the female sex language. A little dance like this sends the clear message that you can’t read her responses and that you are impatient to “get to the point.” If you really want to see how she’s doing, get up close and personal and pay attention to her body language. listen to her heartbeat, the quickness of her breath. Feel the heat of her skin and listen to her voice. If you must ask, just don’t spend more time asking how she’s doing than you do listening to what she’s saying.

Filed Under: Foreplay Tagged With: better sex, female orgasm, fingering, foreplay, orgasm, sex tips

3 Things To Do With Her Clothes During Sex

By loveandsex

Sex tips will definitely spice things up in the bedroom – check out these three simple but super hot ways you can play with your lover’s skivvies during sex!

1. Involve Her Clothes In The Sex

Don’t immediately dismiss them to the floor. It’s not just about the beauty that awaits to be unveiled, it’s also about the beauty of unveiling it. Get the drift?

Run your hands on her clothes, barely touching them. You’re not touching her body, but her apparel. This in itself brings pleasure as you grope through the varied textures & cuts of a woman’s couture. In a way, it’s a good thing she spends half her day choosing the perfect outfit. Sensitize your palms to the feel of cotton, linen, silk and other fabrics. And even when she’s wearing the plainest top and those classic denim jeans, run your hands through. Feel the friction. Doesn’t that feel nice?

Imagine what it will be like for her. She’ll be in a limbo with this hovering hand technique. It feels like you’re touching her, but then again she can’t really be sure. It’s like you’re touching her aura. It’s exciting, but not too intense. (Watch as her breathing gradually quickens.)

After hovering around, gradually apply more pressure and touch her body THROUGH her clothes. Now she can really feel you, she now knows what it means to be held and touched by a man. You’ve set her up so she’ll appreciate and welcome the warmth of your touch.

2.  Spice It Up! Work It!

Being a dull mouse and simply going through the motions of getting your girl naked is a waste of erotic potential.

Add carnal appeal to the proceedings and combine everything you’ve learned so far into a potent & powerful sexual tool. Talk dirty, unleash those naughty looks as you slowly release her body from the restrictions that are her garments. Don’t act all mundane. You might have seen her naked a million times, and it might actually be no big deal, but it doesn’t mean you should take it for granted. Make her feel wanted by lightly kissing the patches of skin you uncover.

And as you strip yourself – put some feeling into it! Nobody cares what ridiculous blob lies beneath your “I’m with Stupid” T-shirt, take it off with erotic appeal – there’s absolutely nothing sexier than confidence.

3. Pause Every Now And Then

Cease your hostilities with fabric and get busy with simpler stuff like kissing. Sometimes it’s good to back-off for a moment, leave her half-naked and recognize that she’s sexiest when she’s ALMOST BARE. There’s that tension again of being naked, but not quite. Of almost being there, but not yet.

Dig up all the sexy calendars you’ve collected over the years. Most ladies in there are not totally naked, they are almost naked, or perhaps covering chest and crotch with their oh-so-lucky palms. Feel the tension this creates. She lets you see the rest of her, but the parts you want the most, she leaves to your imagination. She doesn’t give it all away, always making you want more.

Perfect sexual tension. It’s not always about censorship.

Pause every now and then. Get an eyeful, (but without looking overly impressed.) Notice how incredibly sexy a woman with bare breasts in denim jeans can be. Leave those on and do something else. Caress her face or play with her hair. Don’t worry, those jeans will unzip themselves later.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: better sex, foreplay, seduction, sex tips

4 Things Guys Say To Get You Into Bed

By serenapaige

Seduction is something many fellas are skilled at because many of them just want one thing and one thing only – sex. Be aware of these seduction techniques!

There is no shortage of guys trying to get women to go to bed with them. If you have ever experienced the seduction techniques of a guy trying to get you into bed, and almost every woman has, then you are probably familiar with some of the methodology. Although you might think that you’re well versed in this subject, there are a few staples that almost every guy uses to try to get laid. Here are the top 4 things that guys say to get you into bed.

1. “Let’s Watch A Movie”

It doesn’t matter if you are at a bar or hanging around your house in sweatpants, if you ever get a call from a guy asking you to come watch a movie, he’s probably trying to get you into bed. On the offhand occasion that you actually meet a guy that is a film buff or a nice guy that knew you wanted to see a particular movie, you might want to accept, but remember to keep your guard up.

One of the best moves is to get you over to his place and then make some kind of excuse as to why the movie has to be watched in his room other than in the living room. This is usually because of a roommate situation or because the better TV is in his room, etc. For the most part, watching a movie doesn’t mean watching a movie. It means sex.

2. “Let’s Go Out For A Drink”

Ever get this call? “Hey! Just seeing what you’re up to. I wanted to know if you would like to meet up for a drink tonight.” This is a classic move. He’s not asking you out for dinner. He’s not asking you out for rock climbing. He’s not even asking you out for ice cream.

He’s asking you out for “a” drink, which probably means several drinks to loosen you up. When a guy calls you and asks if you want to go out for a drink, he’s not really interested in getting to know you or interested in following the traditions of courtship. He’s looking for a fast track into your pants. Don’t fall for the “Let’s Get A Drink” gag.

3. “Let’s Go Somewhere Else”

Number 2 actually leads us to Number 3, the technique known as “The Bounce Back.” The Bounce Back is a staple among the pick up artist community. This typically involves meeting a girl in a bar, club, grocery store or any other public forum. The guy will get to know you a little and then ask you to go somewhere else with him. This could be a restaurant, another bar or club, an art gallery or essentially anywhere else that is not the place you are currently at.

The theory behind it is that with each change of venue, you feel more comfortable with him. The more comfortable with him, the more likely you will have sex with him. The worst thing about this technique is that it works and it works really well. If you have met a guy in a bar or out for a drink, be weary of going to a new place with him. He might just be trying to get you into the sack.

4. “Let’s Hang Out”

This is a tried and true method of seduction. It’s a calm and ambiguous way of simply getting together. This is fairly similar to the movie idea, but it is less planned. The guy will probably not have any activity planned other than getting you over to his house.

When a guy asks you to hang out, make sure that he has something planned. One of the easiest ways to get around this is for the guy to say something along the lines of “Well, just come on over and we’ll figure something out.” If he says this to you, you might want to just hang up the phone right then and there.

If the guy is really interested in you, he will want to impress you. Impressing you doesn’t involve getting you over to his house a romp in the sheets. Avoid the “Let’s Hang Out” and you will be avoiding heartbreak in the long run.

Recognizing these 4 seduction methods will keep you out of trouble. A guy that is not going to follow tradition is not somebody that you want to be with. Make it a point to be on the lookout for any of these techniques and your life will be free of pick up artists and players alike.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: flirting, have sex, seduction, sex tips

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