Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for Sex & Intimacy / Sex Tips & Advice

Why Delaying Penetration Can Make Sex HOT!

By

Penetration is what guys look forward to during sex, but if you do it too fast, you could turn her off. Here’s why you should definitely wait!

Delaying Penetration Isn’t Easy

Get real, a moment by moment experience is easier said than done… especially when you throw in a raging boner and a naked woman. Savoring foreplay, while violent carnal forces take over your body, is a mean feat.

Women don’t get this, but delaying penetration is probably the most difficult thing a man can do. Guys see an erection as unresolved tension. It needs to be addressed. Immediately. Unnecessary delay is cruel.

While most women wish to luxuriate in this kind of feeling, men see it as torture.

Have a naked, gorgeous woman on your bed… moaning… with legs pointed to the heavens, and you’ll realize you’d rather be skinned alive than not jump her. It’s like the marshmallow experiment – only this time, the marshmallow is wickedly sexy at 120 lbs., calling out “Come and get me!” through a microphone. You don’t even see the woman, really, your vision just zeroes-in between her legs. And you would do anything, even pawn your Knicks season tickets, just to get into that magical place.

That’s why nobody’s telling you to stop a boner – you can’t. So don’t deny the urge. In fact, ACKNOWLEDGE IT, admit you wish to ravish her body. Admit that you want to be inside her, feel her warm and wet core embrace your penis. You want to plant it deep, deep into her. Acknowledge the urge.

Is It Possible To Even Do It?

Yes, it’s possible to delay penetration. Ever been so mad at someone you felt like strangling them to death? We’ll, did you actually do it? It’s the same with foreplay. Have the urge, but don’t act on it…yet. Feeling it is different from acting on it. This is where the bizarre struggle begins since men can easily blend the two. But just because you’re hard doesn’t acquit you of all the other options.

Why hurry a sure thing? Do you actually think she’ll do a disappearing act if you don’t jump her immediately?

What To Do Instead

GET BUSY. You will never get over that vaginal trance unless you fill your head with something else. Do some crunches if you got to, channel that sexual energy into some activity and accomplish something mind-blowing – great oral sex, for example. Get busy and realize that while you’re at it, keeping your mind off that battle-ready penis, you’re getting the hang of the thing that started off as distracters. Foreplay can rock… when you give it a shot.

Of course, don’t wait for kingdom come and allow your erection and arousal to shy away. Just remember a sexual reprogramming before finally deciding to ride. This next one is subtle but it could really change your foreplay game. Ready?

What Really Happens During Penetration

That moment you penetrate, the very first instant you slide that schlong into that pit of hers, think of it as: THE BEGINNING OF THE END, launching the finale – the final hurrah. You’re actually wrapping things up. Yeah that’s right, the moment you enter her, you’re actually nearing the end of the session, you’re taking the final bend of the final lap. It positions you a stone’s throw away from the inevitable conclusion.

To most guys, it’s the exact opposite. For them, that first push is like opening their box of chocolates… all the good stuff begins. They think, “Yeah, finally I get to do this!” It’s a “Yeheeey!” moment and fireworks are at long last lit up. Like the opening of baseball season – all wonderful things are up ahead.

But, without watering down the virtues of great sex, and without missing on the joys of being inside a woman, boxes of chocolates have been opened way before initial penetration. It’s not the opening of baseball season, it’s already the World Series! And as for the fireworks? They’re there for the closing ceremonies!

What You’re Missing If You Penetrate Too Fast

All things bright and beautiful didn’t begin when you went in for that first push, it started long way before that. It started when you first got a whiff of the scented candles she prepared, when you first ran fingers across her face, when you felt her tummy rising and falling from labored breathing. If you missed on those because of your anxiety to put your pelvic gyrations on display, then you missed a lot.

You missed the unique pleasures of the opening and middle game.

Remind yourself before you enter: This is the beginning of the end. Watch how this simple shift straightens things out and alter your foreplay game by giving you a wider shot of the whole sex thing.

The Right Way To Do Penetration

By

Penetration seems simple enough, right? Wrong! If you penetrate her the wrong way, you can mess up the entire sex act. Here’s how you need to be doing it.

You’ve done the works – the whole nine yards. You’ve been thorough, gentle and moved slow as a turtle on hangover. And now you’ve decided, she’s more than ready. Besides, you can’t take the suspense any longer, your penis made that argument for you 10 minutes ago. It’s time to bring your ship to harbor.

How To Start With Penetration

Post a “Fasten Your Seatbelt” notice by performing SWEEPING maneuvers around the vulva before penetration. Although this is something that can be done anytime you fancy, Sweeping is usually a last minute act before switching gears. What you do is hold your ranting and raving tool at the mouth of her vagina. You have not entered her yet at this point, you’re just having a smoke at the gates.

Hold your penis and sweep it around the vulva. Rub the head of your unit around, moving it in circles, up & down and side-to-side – coaxing the bajingo to let you in. The resulting friction not only makes her want you more, it makes further delays harder to bear.

You may also use the underside of your shaft to rub on her vulva by mimicking thrusting motions. Without actually penetrating – give your woman a real thrill by rubbing her clitoris with the underside of your penis.

The First Moments

Everyone remembers their “firsts.” They are always noteworthy, whether they are for the good or for the bad. Everyone remembers their first kiss, first dates, first date disasters etc. They are “dear diary” moments.

But what we’re talking about here has nothing to do with the night she lost her virginity. Rather, it’s about those first moments in the session when you enter into vaginal territory – that moment when the 1st inch of your jimmy passes from the outside world into her wet ‘n wild world. You know, penetration. For many women, that first vaginal stretch is the most exciting and satisfying part – the BEST slice of the whole penetration process. (But if you’re not gentle, it could also be one of the most arduous things.)

These moments are both physically and psychologically meaningful for your partner. The two of you are officially joined, you are officially inside her. There is an elegant mini-drama in there that captures the phrase “getting into her pants” or the more spiritual “becoming one flesh.”

How To Make It Even Better

Share this episode by giving the lady lots of eye contact. Synchronize both your breathing and you’ll understand what connection means.

Don’t jam the first stroke of enetration. And for that matter, the several ones coming after that. Initially, thrust in a slooow and deliberate manner, as if she’s a virgin all over again – as if it’s her first encounter with Mr. Penis. (There’s always a first time – every time.) Instantly switching to high gear from the sensual style will stun a woman. It’s too fast a transition from laid-back to break back, like being mounted by a 1000 lb bull all of a sudden. That feeling is a bit disconcerting for the woman. Start slow, and gradually build up the speed.

Give her some slow, steady grooves and don’t cheapen penetration by immediately giving her all you’ve got. If you don’t pace yourself, you’ll burn out too early, you’ll orgasm even before you find your rhythm & balance. (What did you really expect?!)

How To Talk To Her About Sex

By

Sex can be a difficult topic to cover in a conversation, but sometimes it’s necessary. Here’s how to discuss sex with a woman the right way.

Probably the most important conversation you can have with your lady about orgasms is the one in which you find out what it is she really likes. The best place to have this conversation is in the bedroom, because if done correctly, you’re going to be doing a lot more than just talking.

Let Her Know You Want Great Sex

After you’ve discussed with your partner your desire to be an even better lover, you then need to explain that to do that you need to experiment a little and find out what she likes. If she’s willing (and most partners probably will be), the next step is to set the mood.

Use foreplay techniques to help her become aroused, then have her stretch out on a comfortable surface, preferably a bed. She should, of course, be completely naked. The next step is for you to explore her body. Move your hands slowly over every inch of her skin. Try different strokes, different movements on each part and take note of the ones, which bring about the most impressive results.

When you’ve explored her exterior, you’re ready to some similar exploring inside her. Try rubbing her clitoris in a variety of patterns. If you have some sex toys, give them a try as well. The idea is to experiment as much as you can to see what makes her feel the best. Encourage your partner to let you know what feels good because that’s the only way you’ll be able to get better. After all of your experimenting, both of you will probably be pretty worked up so take the chance to try out one of the of the positions from the book and see what happens.

How To Get Her To Communicate

When it comes to female orgasms, you and your partner are going to have to open the lines of communication. Even though lots of people have trouble talking about sex in and out of the bedroom, these conversations will provide you with a solid foundation on which to build.

Some sex conversations should be held in the bedroom while you’re both relaxed and aroused. This can make you both less inhibited and more likely to honestly share your secrets. It also makes it easier for the two of you to take things to the next level if those secrets turn you on.

Not all women are comfortable talking about sex. As we’ve said, women vary in how comfortable they are with this subject. If your woman is a little more reserved, don’t push her. Find ways of building trust with her and she will eventually open up to you.

The faked orgasm conversation is one that both of you need to have. By talking about this sensitive subject, you’ll show that you really are the kind of lover your partner wants and needs.

Never, Ever Be Judgmental

Never be judgmental. One important thing to remember when you are sharing sexual secrets is that you cannot be judgmental of her. If you tell her what she’s doing is wrong or bad, then she’s going to feel worse about her own sexuality, close her mind to experimentation, and feel betrayed by you. All of this is going to hinder her ability to reach orgasm with you or her future partners. If you can’t keep your negative opinions to yourself, then you probably shouldn’t be asking her these questions in the first place.

5 Mistakes That Will Make Him Never Want To Have Sex With You Again

By

Sex can be really fun, and it can also be really lame. If you’re a bad lay, he may not want to get in your pants ever again. Are you making these mistakes?

We live in a society where stereotypically men always want sex, will do anything for sex and will never say no to sex. But, that is not always the case. Many factors can affect why a guy isn’t in the mood at a certain time. But, if you guys have sex once and then he doesn’t want it again, then girl you messed up.

The old saying goes, no sex is bad sex. True, and guys will more then likely have a roll with you but if that first sexual encounter with you was so bad, the chances of him ever wanting more are slim. Below are a few examples that might explain why he wants nothing to do with you.

What She Said

1. You Are Terrible In Bed

As a women its super difficult for us to be horrible in bed, but it can happen when we go to bed with a guy and do nothing. Did you just lay there and let him do all the work? Did you let him make all the moves and just go along with it? Did you refuse to give him a blowjob or get on top? Mostly importantly were you enthusiastic?

Guys love it when girls make moves and show interested and get excited about having sex. So if you just sort of laid there and took it with out so much of a peep, blowie or smile then you are a pretty bad lay.

2. You Are A Drill Seargeant

There is nothing wrong with a woman who knows what she likes in bed but there are times (like the first time you sleep with a guy) where you should let him figure things out. Do not shout directions at him nor make him feel like he is doing something wrong. Let him play and give him time to show you the moves he has brought to the table. Now if he does start doing something you like a lot, let him know you liked it! Its also ok to politely tell him in a whisper voices what you want him to do with his hands. Just don’t yell at him.

3. You Refuse To Try New Things During Sex

No one likes a party pooper. It’s like the age old saying goes, “Open your legs, Open your mind.” Ok, so I just made that up but its still relevant.

4. You Have Super High Expectations

This is the “50 Shades of Grey” phenomenon. Just because you are reading about fantastic sex from a sexy dominating billionaire, doesn’t mean that a guy is going to have all the moves and toys to bring you to orgasm just by shacking you to a bed and electro shocking you. And WHY would you want that?

5. You Remind Him Of His Mother

Enough said.

What He Said:

1. Making Him Do All The Work

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been with a woman who simply got naked and said “Okay! Time for you to begin dispensing the orgasms.” Great sex is not solely the responsibility of one party. It’s a team sport. If your partner isn’t up to your level, you don’t worry about it, you just bring them up to your level.

Kobe Bryant demands excellence of anyone he plays basketball with. You should do the same of your lovers, but keep in mind Kobe just doesn’t demand excellence of his teammates, he facilitates it. He gives them points, spends extra time in practice with them, goes over game footage with them. He heavily invests in his teammates success. You’ll need to do the same with your lovers if you want results. Making him do the work and just expecting him to rock your world is a recipe for disaster.

2. Giving Him Bad Feedback

It’s totally fine to tell a guy to not do something. But the feedback has to be properly formatted. Simply put it should be “do this, not that.” But ideally it would be “what you did was great, you know what would be even better? Is if you tried doing this instead.” A huge mistake is if you’re always tell him what he’s doing is bad or wrong and then never telling him what you want him to do instead.

3. Attaching Emotion Too Soon

Sometimes sex is just sex. Other times it’s lovemaking. Sometimes booty calls can turn into love affairs. Sometimes not. Forcing it to be more than it is or forcing it to change from one or the other is no bueno.

4 Reasons A Woman Won’t Have Sex With You

By

Sex tips tell you how to get it on, but what if you’re not doing it at ALL? What if she’s not putting out? Here are some clues as to why she might not have sex with you.

There are a lot of reasons that woman will not have sex with you. It doesn’t matter if you are the top salesman at your marketing firm, a high paid lawyer or the best neurosurgeon in the world, you can always be outperformed and outwitted by a guy that lives at home with his mother.

They are certain key characteristics to every guy that knows how to get a woman in the bed. Hollywood has you believe that women are only interested in men have money or power. While there are women that are only interested in money or power, you don’t need either of these in order to get them into bed. Here are some key characteristics of men that will never be able to get a woman into the sack.

1. You Have ZERO Confidence

Confidence is a key ingredient to getting all women to not only respect you, but to also want to go to bed with you. It doesn’t matter if you work as a clerk at a grocery store or you own a law firm, if you don’t have confidence in yourself, no woman is every going to see you as more than a friend.

Confidence can be gained by looking at the key characteristics that you have to offer a woman. Whether you are a nice guy or you are financially secure, every woman wants a guy that is sure of himself. Women are naturally drawn to men that have confidence in themselves.

2. You Dress Sloppy

It’s one thing to run out to the grocery store in a pair of Iraqi jeans and a torn shirt, but it is a whole other thing to meet a girl in this kind of clothing. A guy that doesn’t know how to dress himself for a date will never get a girl to go to bed with him. Women like guys who respect the traditions of a date and guys who respect themselves. When you go out to something as important as a date, you MUST dress for the occasion.

If you do not take the time to pick out something slightly trendy, the girl is going to assume that you don’t care enough about her to put something together. Go to a decent department store and buy at least 2-3 different dating outfits so that you are prepared for the first couple of dates that you go out on. Girls also don’t want to have one night stands with guys who don’t know how to dress, so keep that in mind.

3. Your Hygiene STINKS

You would think that this goes without saying, however, there are some guys that can’t get it through their heads. Hygiene is one of the most important aspects of getting a girl into bed. If your breath smells or your have dandruff, they are going to assume that your junk stinks. Furthermore, this just isn’t attractive. Make sure that you have clean hair, hands and that you have brushed your teeth. If you have a breath problem then carry mints or gum.

This should be number one in your arsenal to getting a girl to go to bed with you. Invest in a body wash that actually works. Old Spice and Right Guard are great. These will leave you smelling good for at least a couple of hours after you have taken a shower.

4. You Don’t Know How To Sexualize The Interaction Properly

There are a lot of guys that either don’t sexualize a conversation at all or they over-sexualize a conversation. There is a fundamental difference between friends and guys that girls want to sleep with. A friend will not flirt with a girl. A guy that wants to sleep with her will. While this might seem like an easy concept to grasp, there are a ton of guys out there don’t know exactly what to do in order to properly flirt. Making fun of her in a flirty way is great to get some rapport going. Even telling her that you like her shoes or dress can go a long way.

However, you don’t want to lay it on too thick. Breaking the touch barrier early on is also a good way to show that you aren’t afraid to take control. Don’t do anything that is going to make her uncomfortable though. Don’t touch her leg or even her hand unless you know that she won’t pull back. Girls can tell when a guy is nervous. You have to be calm and cool in order to gain her affection.