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Aphrodisiacs Don’t Work For Me And My Partner! Help!

By loveandsex

An aphrodisiac is a love it or hate it kind of thing. Unfortunately, most couples are a mix of both!

Here’s an example – let’s call this couple Cindi and Sam. Cindi is all for romance and aphrodisiacs and even went to great lengths to prepare a 5-course aphrodisiac dinner – do you know how hard that is? Well, Sam appreciated the dinner alright – then went to the living room and turned on the TV!

Sam is completely aphrodisiac-challenged, while Cindi is the hopeless romantic so to say that there’s tension in their relationship is an understatement.

Where Cindi Went Wrong with Her Aphrodisiac Dinner

What Cindi did wrong here is that she was trying to force romance. There was no ‘primer’ whatsoever. No hints or anything during the day that she wanted to be sexed up that night. So as far as Sam was concerned, it was simply ‘dinner time’. When asked if Sam didn’t get any hints since he was being served a 5-course dinner, he said “Cindi loves to cook. She cooks all the time! I thought she just got it in her head to be elaborate that day.”

Cindi also prepared a meal with aphrodisiacs that SHE believed in and may not necessarily be good for Sam. For instance, when pressed for details, Sam actually said he didn’t like the salad Cindi prepared because he hates arugula (rocket)!

Tips to Help Aphrodisiacs Work For You And Your Lover

Make sure you use aphrodisiacs that you think/know your lover will appreciate. Remember that the goal is to ‘increase his/her sexual desire’ for you so you should use aphrodisiacs that will work on him/her, not on you! As such, stop listing things YOU like and think of your lover.

For women, don’t focus on the chocolate, that’s mostly aphrodisiac stuff for you. Remember, men are ‘visual’ creatures so food that looks like genitalia is better! Go oysters. If budget is a concern, go for clams or mussels instead. For veggies, go for carrots (UN-chopped!) and asparagus as they resemble the penis.

Here’s another trick: use only green asparagus because they’re more appealing to look at and more sturdy after being boiled. Then, I dip the tips in butter and arrange them in a tall glass. What a visual treat! The glistening and dripping tops of the asparagus lend themselves to some horny fantasies!

Give Your Lover Hints

Drop hints during the day. Ok, for people who are not into all this aphrodisiac stuff, you need to aid them here, folks. So why not engage in some active foreplay during the day so your lover is more inclined to be in the right mood and frame of mind when you present your aphrodisiac treats?

Setting Up A Romantic Atmosphere

Compliment aphrodisiac foods and drinks with a romantic setting. Trust me, no type of aphrodisiac will bring about love and naughty thoughts if the washing machines is blaring in the background, if the kids are running and shrieking all around the table and if the dog is barking like the devil himself.

What you need is a relaxing, soothing, and sexy setting. So tidy up the house, dim the lights, put on a Barry White CD and light candles all over the house. Your lover will be in the mood for sex even BEFORE he/she takes a taste of your aphrodisiac treats.

Learn how to drop hints DURING the aphrodisiac meal. For those who have lovers that are truly aphrodisiac-challenged, don’t fret; simply drop hints while serving the aphrodisiac food and drinks.

For women, while serving those asparagus tips, start to put one in your mouth and then casually put it in and out as if you’re simply tasting the salted butter and then say ‘mmmm!’ When your lover turns to you, say “Hey, aren’t asparagus said to be aphrodisiacs?” as if the thought just occurred to you.

For men, DO bring out the chocolates! But instead of simply popping them in your mouth, start to lick it. Make really wet, lapping noises. THAT will get her attention in no time!

Aphrodisiacs HELP in increasing sexual desire, they’re not a magical cure you can administer and simply get results. But with the tips above, you’ll get more success each time you use them!

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: foreplay, romance, romantic ideas, sex tips

What Men Can Learn From Lesbian Sex

By loveandsex

Lesbian sex can sometimes be more satisfying for a woman than sex with a guy – why is that and how can you recreate it?

I know what you’re thinking. You’re expecting some “Brianna Loves Jenna” play-by-play involving pillow fights and strap-ons. Well, it’s not happening. That’s your version of lesbian sex, and you’re way off base. Women in lesbian relationships generally report a higher level of sexual satisfaction than their heterosexual counterparts. “Well, yeah,” you’re thinking, “they have the equipment.” Well, yes, but not in the way you’re thinking. The “equipment” you deem necessary for sex is just your penis, which is quite different than what women bring to the bedroom. Kissing, touching, sucking, caressing – these are all parts of a woman’s sexual experience, and you’ve been ignoring them.

Are Men Boring In Bed?

This may come as a shock to most men, but a lot of women think men are boring in the sack. This is because men think that there is a method to sex: get her wet, get inside, and get your rocks off. There is no real explanation for how this sequence of events became the norm, but it’s causing real sexual inhibitions in men.

Sex is not a job. There’s no sequence of tasks that must be performed in order to achieve the end game, i.e. blowing your wad. Concentrating solely on your own orgasm takes the intimacy out of the sexual experience. You may have gotten off, but you haven’t maximized the pleasure of either party. Okay, maybe you went down on her. Were you savoring each sensation? Or were you thinking, “Hurry up and cum so I can get up in there!”

Orgasms & Oral Sex

When two women have sex, they are not working toward one simple goal. An orgasm does not signal the end, and they don’t go in treating it as such. Every look and every touch is part of the experience. The warmth of the other’s lips, the softness of her skin, and how she responds to being touched is shared between partners. It is very much about the two coming together for mutual pleasure and shared intimacy. It is also about fun, and you know what they say about girls just wanted to have fun.

Oral sex is a very large part of lesbian sex, simply because girls recognize it as one of the greatest ways to experience an orgasm. While many girls only couples do take part in fingering each other or using strap-ons or other sex toys to pleasure their lovers, oral sex is almost always a part of true, honest to goodness lesbian sex because it just simply feels divine for the receiving partner! You can tease and please with oral sex, or you can get down and dirty and really give your lover something to squeal about. Many men disregard the importance of oral sex for a woman – because plain ol’ intercourse gets him off, it should get her off too, right? Take a cue from the lezzies and engage in some great foreplay and oral sex with your lover. Make her toes curl!

How NOT To Miss Out

Fear not, pal, there’s good news for you, too. Your heterosexual female partner is responding to your lips and hands in the same way a gay woman responds to her lover. She loves the way your skin smells and the way your breath tastes. It’s how you got her into bed in the first place. When she gives you a blowjob, it’s not because she just loves having a penis in her mouth, it’s because she savors the pleasure it provides you. Making love in this way satisfies all your senses, not just your penis. Don’t miss out on all the pleasure! You’re only cheating yourself.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: female orgasm, have better sex, lesbians, oral sex, orgasm, sex tips

Sex Tips: Help! I Want To Spice Up Our Sex Life!

By dicksinthecity

Sex is only as hot as you make it – if you’re always doing it with the lights off and in the missionary position, you’ll get bored. It’s easy for both men and women to get bored with sex, especially when they’re in a long term, monogamous relationship. If you and your partner could have lost that lovin’ feeling, how do you turn the heat up?

I love my girlfriend. She’s amazing, but the sex isn’t. It’s strictly “lights out, missionary style” sex. I need a bit more kink in my coffee, so to speak. How can I get her to spice up our sex life?

What She Said:

In a word, ask. Be sure to couch it in terms of wanting to explore and share with her. The moment you start placing the blame on her for your lack of variety is the moment you’re most likely not going to be getting laid for quite awhile!

I’m not sure of your ages, but this could just be an issue of lack of experience versus resistance to trying new things. Learn about new positions together – that way she won’t feel intimidated or inadequate.

Check in with her comfort level – you don’t want to scare her off. But if she’s game, pick up a copy of the Kama Sutra and start circling things you want to try. Couples erotica might also help give her some visual tips. Do a little research and find something “soft core” that appeals to women. Adding a sexy “bedtime” story via will also give your gal a nudge towards variety.

In the end it’s all about having fun, being safe and doing what comes naturally. With some suggestions, communication and compassion I’m guessing your repertoire together will be expanded in no time!

What He Said:

There are tons of different ways. You can get books that have a new sex position to try each and every day of the year. You can get a liberator or sex swing, and those each come with a plethora of positions that you can only do with those two pieces of equipment.

The actuality of trying new positions is incredibly simple. The more challenging part will be adding a little spice into your straight vanilla sex.

That is, getting your partner to agree to add it.

Talk to her about it and find out what her objections are. They could be religious, or she could just have history of un-inventive partners. Maybe she’s afraid of being a whore or slut or has some kind of sexual insecurities.

Whatever they may be, you’ll have to get a dialogue going and you’ll have to get her to open up about these things, and come to some kind of consensus. It may not be easy to get this information out of her. You may be feeling like you’re peeling back the layers of an onion, and in some ways you are. But be loving and be patient.

Be prepared to take baby steps as well. She’s probably not going to go from straight vanilla to Rick James overnight (though that would be hot!)

She’ll more likely take a baby step in a particular direction (talking dirty, for example) and then she’ll feel awkward, nervous and then look to you for feedback. Always be loving and caring and nurturing. Whatever she did was amazing, even if it’s not really. You must give it time. She’s learning a new skill and nobody is great at a new skill right off the bat.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: have better sex, missionary, sex tips

Free Report: 4 Sex Secrets To A TRULY Wild Sex Life

By loveandsex

[Click here to download the Free Report: “4 Sex Secrets To A TRULY Wild Sex Life”]

Passionate, wild sex is possible and you can have it. You can literally have the sex life of your dreams!

There’s one thing you need to know before we get started. Women DO judge new lovers, and all of their friends will hear about you. (I know it sucks, but it’s completely true)

There is nothing that can ruin an amazing sexual experience more, than a guy who doesn’t know what he’s doing in the bedroom…

And no, it’s not just about giving her an orgasm; it’s about the entire experience, right from the very beginning. Hot women know that they have their pick of any guy they want. So if the entire sexual experience isn’t enjoyable, and doesn’t feel right, they are going to move on to the next guy, and you are going to be left at home with nothing more than your hand and some internet porn.

Sex Secret #1

Being a great lover in bed is NOT about Size, it’s about knowing how to use what you’ve got! Most guys think that the only way to pleasure a woman is with a big penis. This is totally and completely NOT TRUE!

If all a woman wanted was a huge penis, we’d all be racing to the sex shop to buy the largest toys they had. Being a great lover is about knowing how to tap in to what your partner really wants, and having the skills to give it to her.

Men are the same way… what feels better to you?

When a woman performs the same motion over and over with little to no variation?

Or when she is so in sync with you and what your body wants, that it feels like she’s in all the right places and exactly the right time?

Sex Secret #2

Women cannot orgasm if you can’t lead BOTH her body AND mind!

Women know that you judge how we look with our clothes off – but we judge A LOT more than just ‘that’ about you.

And guess what. We judge your sexual  foreplay techniques more than anything else. Why? Because, it is absolutely vital to us, if we are going to get warmed up and relaxed enough to have an orgasm. Getting us warmed up properly involves knowing how to drive us wild with your words, your touches, your kisses and everything else that leads up to us taking our clothes coming off.

If you don’t know how to make a woman feel excited with your sexual intelligence, care, and mind-blowing sex techniques, then we will feel uncomfortable. And at that point, there is no chance we can orgasm.

Sex Secret #3

The #1 reason a woman will cheat is because you don’t satisfy her the right way in bed!

Women crave great sex (maybe even more than men). But without excitement in the bedroom, the sex can become mundane and feel more like a chore than the Earth-shaking, body-rocking experience we really want. And when a guy doesn’t know how to pleasure us the right way, we may go out and look for a guy who can.

Sex Secret #4

Most women are a lot more open and wild than you’d ever expect! Women talk about their sexual encounters A LOT more than guys do. We tell our girlfriends about EVERY detail when we have sex with a guy. And I can tell you from experience, that when one of us can’t stop talking about how amazing a guy was in bed, big things are going to go down

For starters, some women openly share their guys name and number with a friend so she can have some “fun” too. Women will also be a lot more open to inviting their girlfriends over for a threesome. So if you truly ever want to have truly wild sex life you are going to need the bedroom skills required.

INTRODUCING – The Porn Star Sex Life “Incredible Sex Video Series”

Who better to teach you the secrets to blowing a woman’s mind than October 2009 Penthouse Pet, former Playboy Radio host, Adult Film Star, Exotic Dancer and sexual educator Ryan Keely? Ryan is here to help you by demonstrating (in explicit detail) all the right moves, techniques and sex positions you need to know to have your lover begging for more.

The Incredible Sex Video Series includes 10 exciting modules – All of which you can watch INSTANTLY in our private ‘members only’ website.

It is quite simply THE BEST program on giving this kind of pleasure to women, of it’s kind EVER MADE! It’s Your Complete Guide To Getting Her Off!

The Incredible Sex Video Series isn’t simply a collection of amazing sex techniques… It’s your complete step-by-step system to achieving the wild and exciting sex life you’ve always fantasized about – And giving your partner the greatest sexual pleasure they’ve ever experienced.

I want to share with you the 10 modules that make up “The Incredible Sex Video Series”… I’m positive you’re going to love it as much as I do.


Module 1 – “Sensual Touch” – Find out how to how to touch, kiss, and undress any girl in a way that will have her begging for more.

Module 2 – “Fingering Techniques” – There are things you can do with your fingers that you can’t do with any other part of your body.

Module 3 – “Advanced Fingering Techniques” – These advanced fingering techniques that will get her so hot and bothered that she’ll be begging for more. And deep emotional orgasms that are so intense, most women refer them as “The Ultimate Orgasm”.

Module 4 – “Oral Sex Techniques” – Discover  why most men are losing their women to other women (Here’s a hint: Women are better at giving oral sex) AND the techniques to become a “master” of going down on her!

Module 5 – “Things You See In Porn That Are Bad Ideas” – If you try to imitate most of what you see in the movies, your partner will most likely walk out and never come back.

Module 6 – “Amazing Positions A to Z” – Being an amazing lover has nothing to do with those “fold her up like an origami crane” positions. It’s all about knowing how to “compliment” each others bodies by making tiny changes to your favorite positions.

Module 7 – “Anal Sex And Dirty Play” – So, if you’re interested in trying out “backdoor sex” with your woman (or any woman for that matter), then you need to pay close attention.

Module 8 – “Fetish And Advanced Dirty Play” – WARNING: This module is ONLY for the most adventurous of lovers! However, if you are daring enough to explore your “inner-freak” you may never want to go back.

Module 9 – “Staying In The Game” – If you want to last longer in bed, and drain your girl of ALL her energy, by giving her the most intense sexual experience of her life – Then this may be the most important module of all for you.

Module 10 – “Safe Sex” – Trust me, if she starts pissing razor blades, she will NEVER sleep with you again. Not only that, but if YOU catch something nasty, it won’t be a picnic for you either.

Click Here to Learn More About The Incredible Sex Video Series…

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: foreplay, safe sex, sex myths, sex tips, sexual fantasies

How Turn On Her Mind!

By loveandsex

Sex for a woman doesn’t just involve what’s in her pants – it involves the brain too. Here’s how to get her thinker aroused so her orgasm will be explosive!

Turning on a woman emotionally is almost equivalent to turning you on physically. If a woman is in the right state of thinking she can have much more enjoyable foreplay and, hence, equally terrific sex.

While arousing her body may seem like an easier, straightforward task (read more in the next chapter), stimulating her thinking takes patience and creativity (and a little bit of corniness).

Making Eye Contact

Don’t forget: an unexpected “look” can build the anticipation for later. Eye contact and a wink can be a boyish, coy way to captivate her. So can capturing her stare and giving her a genuine smile, stealing a look while she’s doing a chore or some other mundane task that wouldn’t usually warrant a sneak peek, or holding her gaze for longer than a split-second.

The Lost Art Of Kissing

What happened to kissing? Does it die out after you hear the minister say, “You may kiss your bride”? I have listened to so many of my married friends say, “I miss making out.” We yearn for no-strings-attached fooling around where we can make out without the immediate expectation of sex. There’s something thrilling about going at it like school kids on the couch or in the car (or, better yet, in a secret public place).

A few tips for reviving your kissing techniques and bringing the fun back to old-school make-out sessions:

  • Kiss her and let your tongue touch the very edge of her lips. The soft sensations will drive her absolutely wild.
  • Use your lips to “nibble” her bottom lip or, if you’re very careful, you can even use your teeth for a gentle bite. Just proceed with caution.
  • Kiss her with an open mouth and then pull away ever so slightly, allowing your tongues to continue dancing. Guys seem to really like this form of kissing.

Communicating Freely With Each Other

After years of marriage, talking openly and freely about your sexual needs can be an incredibly daunting exercise, especially if you’ve never done it. But if you want your wife to don a French maid costume or get a little forceful with a leather whip, she’s never going to do it unless you just ask her. The same goes for her.

In other words, one discussion about innermost desires can snowball and affect your general outlook on your entire relationship!

Dirty Talk

The art of dirty talk is different from the aforementioned intimate talk – dirty talk is, well, more risqué.

A common misconception is that dirty talk has to be raunchy and vulgar, but it can take on a wide range of forms. It’s really about the type of couple you are and the terminology that will get you the best reaction (you don’t want to insult her if she’s embarrassed about you using words she considers foul).

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: dirty talk, foreplay, kissing, sex tips

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