Sex Tips & Advice

How To Use The REAL Distraction Principle To Boost Your Sexual Stamina

‘Premature ejaculation’ is a well known term. And every guy that’s heard of it has his own theory on the best way to deal with it. One of the most common is often referred to as the distraction technique.

What is the Distraction Technique?

It goes like this. While having sex, the guy who doesn’t want to come too soon thinks of mind-numbing concepts or completely non-sexual imagery. For example, he’ll count back from 1000 or picture a deer getting hit by a car. Whatever it is, he’ll make sure it is a complete turn-off.

He’ll do this in an attempt to take himself out of the moment and therefore distance himself from the sexual stimulation he is receiving all in an effort to extend his sexual performance. But you have to ask yourself: is having sex for a long time worth it if you’ve got to totally separate your mind from it?

Of course not! This distraction principle is a bad way to handle the problem of rapid ejaculation. Instead, you should use the REAL distraction principle, which goes like this.

The REAL Distraction Principle

Great sex isn’t just about penetration. Any man that thinks different is in for a nasty surprise. Mutually pleasurable, great sex is a combination of teasing, foreplay and penetration, amongst other things.

The point here is that sex should be varied. This is not only good from a pleasure point of view, but also from a premature ejaculation point of view. By periodically altering what you and your partner do to and with each other during sex, you can keep your stimulation levels under control and thereby delay your climax from happening until you want it to.

The reason this is called the real distraction technique is because you are effectively distracting you and your partner’s attention away from the fact that you aren’t having penetrative sex and onto the fact that you are doing something different yet equally pleasurable, like massaging each other, performing oral and manual stimulation, engaging in dirty talk, kissing and licking each other, etc.

What you should do is alternate between a minute or two of penetration (or however long you can currently last without your stimulation levels soaring too high) and some other, non-penetrative activity, like giving her head or kissing up and down her body.

Why Women Love It

As well as your partner loving the variation of your sexual encounter, you’ll also love the fact that your stimulation levels are always under control, because whenever they get too high, you can simply switch to doing something else for a minute or so. It’s a simple, but devastatingly effective technique.

In fact, most women who experience this kind of varied sexual experience prefer it over having sex with a guy who doesn’t have premature ejaculation but who can have penetrative sex for as long as he wants.

Discover The One Powerful Skill That Will Turn You Into an Exceptional Lover

By paultony

A true master in the art of making love knows that every woman has different wants and needs. Therefore, a lover a can only really become a masterful lover to the one woman he takes the time to learn.

A masterful lover realizes that each woman will have specific tastes in the bedroom. While one woman might like her man to be rough, another might prefer her man to take the more gentle approach.

The Sexual Uniqueness of Men and Women

Yes, like men, every woman will have the same basic likes and dislikes, but that is only on the surface. Think about it, while most of us like the taste of fruit, some of us prefer an orange over a banana.

This is what makes every man and woman unique. It is this uniqueness that a masterful lover will try to discover and appreciate in his partner, thus will take the necessary time needed in order to truly know what turns his woman on.

No matter what techniques you learn, none of them will really matter if you have no idea what your woman’s true desires are. Therefore, if you want to become an exceptional lover in your woman’s eyes, it is important that you learn one very important skill;

The Art of Paying Attention To Her

In order to master the “art of paying attention”, you need to learn to listen to every moan and groan your woman makes while you are making love with her. Now there is a difference between listening and really listening. I am talking about the type of listening that is able to interpret each moan and groan your woman makes.

You have to find out if a certain groan means that she likes what you are doing, or if it means that you should stop what you are doing. This takes time, concentration, and patience.

In order to successfully interpret every noise that your woman makes, you also need to learn to pay attention to every movement she makes during sex. Is she squirming her pelvis during a cunnilingus session because she is enjoying what you are doing, or is it because she is signaling you to stop as she is feeling uncomfortable with the type of stimulation you are applying?

By paying attention to both her movements and noises, you will soon be able to get an accurate interpretation what she is feeling, and what she would really like you to do to her.

The Importance of Verbal Communication During Lovemaking

Verbal communication also plays a big part in the “Art of Paying Attention”. I am talking about the type of communication that goes on during a love making session. This is where you really have to be careful. If you ask too many questions, you will simply annoy your partner.

In order to verbally communicate with her , you have to do it in such a way that it actually becomes part of the love making ritual. There are many ways to find out exactly what your woman likes or dislikes, while at the same time using the question and tone of your voice to turn her on and keep her on that “erotic high.”

An example of this would be to seductively ask your woman how she is feeling while you are stimulating any part of her hot zones.

Keep the questions short and make them sound sexy.

For example, the wrong way to do it would be to stop what you are doing and say something like this; “Now, when I move my finger up and down like this, does it make you feel excited, or should I rather move it in a circular motion.Really, which one is better; up and down like so, or circular like so …”. At this point you might as well put your clothes on, politely say goodbye to her, and show yourself out. Don’t forget to shut the door behind you.

Communicating the Right Way During Sex

The right way to verbally communicate with your woman during sex is by continuing to do what you are doing, and while you are doing it, say the following softly in the most sensual and sexiest voice you can muster; “does that feel good?”, or “do you like that?”.

Now, if you have “paid attention”, you will realize something very important. Not only are the questions short, but they also require a simple yes or no. This ensures that your woman does not have to strain her self too much by having to pull herself out of concentration to answer your long “philosophical” questions. She simply has to say yes, no, nod, shake her head, say “hmmm hmmm”, or “mhhhh mhhhh”.

Another thing to keep in mind, as short and sexy as these questions may seem, don’t ask them after every friggin move you try on your woman. That will also bug the hell out of her. The perfect balance is to verbally ask her a question now and then, while at the same time paying attention to every noise and movement she makes. Once you have accomplished that, you will be well on your way to becoming an exceptional lover.

Discover How The Foods You Eat Affect Your Performance In Bed!

By edwardwhite

What you eat at the dinner table has a massive effect on how well you perform in the sack, and that’s a fact.

The length of your performance, the quality of your sexual technique and even the strength and reliability of your erections are all, to some degree or another, controlled by the foods you eat on a daily basis.

I know that’s a bold statement. But think of the relationship between your food and your sexual performance like the fuel used by your car.

Put the wrong type of gas in and, if you’re lucky, you’ll just about splutter a few feet, for a few seconds.

Eat the wrong foods and your sexual performance will be similarly impacted: you’ll conk out sooner and generally perform more poorly than if you were eating the best things, most of the time.

Okay, the question’s been posed: What can you eat to boost your sexual prowess? And how can the foods you consume improve your ability to put in, time and time again, a powerful and multi-orgasmic sexual performance for you and the woman you’re with?

First on the menu: Sexual Super-foods.

Sexual super-foods are the absolute best things you can eat to help you out in the bedroom, because they contain chemicals, fibers and vitamins that are all suited to boosting and improving your body in relation to love-making.

There are 7 different sexual super-foods, each containing a different selection of natural ingredients and therefore each targeting different areas of sexual skill. I’m going to tell you about one of them right now.

The blueberry is a sexual super-food often referred to as ‘nature’s little blue pill’ because of its remarkable similarities to the wonder drug ‘Viagra’. However, unlike ‘Viagra’, blueberries are cheap, readily available and able to be consumed in bulk!

The beauty of blueberries in regards to maximizing your sexual ability lies in what they contain. Firstly, they’re loaded with soluble fiber, which helps push excess cholesterol through your digestive system before it can be broken down, absorbed and deposited in your arteries.

They’re also packed with compounds that help relax your blood vessels and improve circulation throughout your body. The benefit of lower cholesterol and improved blood flow is more blood to you penis during sex and firmer erections as you get older. To harness the powers of this sexual super-food, which include stronger, longer lasting erections, pop a handful of blueberries into a fruit smoothie a couple of times a week.

Next on the menu: General nutrition and Health

To most people, eating the right foods at the right times is a boring, fairly unfulfilling prospect. I mean, we all know of the overall health benefits of eating right, but we don’t generally care very much about sticking to strict diets, especially considering the time and effort usually involved in doing so.

But if most men knew about how much their sexual ability and performance would improve if they simply improved their diets a little and upped their exercise just slightly, they’d be amazed.

It breaks down like this. Eating healthily improves your cardio-vascular fitness (your stamina) and helps maintain high levels of energy; both vital components of any impressive, lengthy sexual performance.

A secondary product of eating well, which stems from your high levels of energy and endurance, is a positive mental attitude. In essence, feeling happy and stress-free. These kinds of feelings come about naturally when you eat well because your body is chemically balanced and has high stores of usable energy.

You don’t need to go crazy when it comes to improving your diet to notice a big improvement in your sexual ability. A great place to start is by always, always eating breakfast. But not just any breakfast.

Eating cereal that is high in thiamine and riboflavin (check the label) helps your body store energy efficiently, which will come in really handy when you get down and dirty later in the day! Also, eat breads and cereals with lots of niacin in them (again, check the nutritional fact labels). Niacin is a vitamin that’s essential for the secretion of histamine. Your body needs histamine in order to control and trigger explosive orgasms!

Lastly, always get that minimum of 5 portions of fruit and vegetables in a day. You’ll really notice the difference eating them makes, in and out of the bedroom.

Okay, so there you have it. A good general diet can be used as a base, which gives you the fundamental levels of energy, fiber and vitamins needed to perform well in bed.

Then, the 7 sexual super-foods can be eaten to naturally boost specific chemical levels in your body and thereby further improve your body’s sexual capabilities. You’ve learned about one of those 7 sexual super-foods already.

The bottom-line? Eat better, perform better!

Men, Do You Know the 3 Reasons She’s Unhappy With Your Sex Life?

By cynthiaperkins

Many women are not having a sex life that is as satisfying as they would like it to be, because their sexual needs are not being met adequately in their relationship.

There are three main reasons that this occurs that both men and women should be aware of that will enable them to help her find more pleasurable sexual experiences.

1. She doesn’t know what those needs are

Sometimes women don’t really understand their own body and how it works. They don’t know what it is that will arouse them or bring them to orgasm.

They may have been brought up to believe it is shameful to explore their body and find out what is pleasurable for them or they don’t understand the necessity. Since she doesn’t know what her sexual needs are, she can’t communicate them to her lover or take the necessary steps to get them met herself.

She knows something is wrong in her sexual adventures, but can’t put her finger on it.

2. He has learned from the wrong sources.

Don’t believe what you hear in the locker room or the standard porn movies. Most men learn about sex from porn movies or from their buddies who are sharing misinformation they learned in porn movies. Traditional skin flicks do not portray realistic situations between people who care about one another.

First of all these types of adult movies are designed for the pleasure of men, not women. So most everything you’re seeing comes from the man’s point of view and what he fantasizes about, not the woman’s.

Contrary to what they teach, having a big penis and thrusting like an Olympic gold medalist is not going to make your woman squeal with multiple orgasms. It’s not likely to bring her to even one orgasm. Additionally, although a woman may allow her man to indulge once in a while, most women do not get off by having semen squirted all over their face.

If you watch standard porn movies, such as Debbie Does Dallas, you need to be aware that what you are watching is for entertainment purposes only. It is not the way things are in reality.

Not only do they portray inaccurate information for pleasuring a woman, but they also cause men to feel inadequate and wonder what’s wrong with them. You need to keep in mind that men in these movies are selectively chosen and are at the extreme end of the male spectrum.

Most men do not have a penis this size and most men do not have this kind of stamina and that is not what a woman is looking for.

In order to learn what a woman really enjoys sexually and have movies that simulate a realistic couple, you need to pick adult videos that were designed for that purpose. Movies made by someone like Candida Royalle are made specifically to be woman and couple friendly.

Additionally you should pick up videos and books that were made by sex experts for the purpose of education. Unfortunately, in our society, no one ever teaches any of us about sex. Most of us learn by trial and error.

With the help of a few high quality instructional videos and books, couples can dispel many sexual myths that may be preventing them from achieving the sexual satisfaction they desire and develop skills that enable them to meet their needs more effectively and become better lovers. Adult sexual education is a powerful tool for both men and women…

3. Lack of communication

Many couples find it very difficult to communicate with one another about their sexual needs or preferences and this is not only a leading contributor to her sexual needs going unmet, but the quality of the relationship overall.

A lot of women are uncomfortable or embarrassed to talk about their sexual needs. Sometimes they are afraid that their lover may perceive them as loose, easy or unlady like. Our society gives women a double message when it comes to sex, on one hand she’s supposed to be a hot little tiger in the sack, yet on the other hand she’s supposed to be pure and virgin like.

This creates an ideal that is impossible to live up to and creates a lot of inner conflict. Women need to know it’s okay to talk openly about what they need and men need to encourage them to do so with a non-judgmental, open and accepting attitude.

Sometimes the problem is that she doesn’t know how to express her needs to her lover. Both partners need to speak openly, directly and honestly.

Couples should be specific and detailed about things like where and how they need touched, how much pressure and speed is needed with each technique and what is the best timing. Share freely information about what techniques and positions are most pleasurable for you.

When something isn’t working or he is not meeting her needs, then she needs to speak up and let her lover know. Don’t suffer in silence.

If saying the words out loud is too uncomfortable, then guide him with your hands. Put his hands, mouth or hips where you need them to be and illustrate. Better yet, show him with your own hands. He’ll not only learn how to satisfy you better, but he’ll also be extremely turned on.

Men, you need to ask your woman what she needs. Don’t assume that everything is okay even if she doesn’t say anything.

Ask her what feels good, check in with her when you’re performing a technique and make sure it’s pleasurable. Ask her specific questions like, does that feel good, do you like to be touched here, is that too soft or too hard, how does that feel.

There is not a one size fits all sexual technique for women. Each woman is unique and what is pleasurable for one woman may not be the case for another woman. Get to know your woman.

Sometimes I hear that women try and tell their lover that they are not as satisfied as they would like to be sexually, but he doesn’t really hear them or they are met with resistance or indifference. He sometimes gets angry, doesn’t take her seriously or dismisses it as not important. He feels threatened or inadequate and becomes defensive.

When this happens, then she shuts down and stops trying, eventually she grows resentful and your whole relationships suffers. If your woman tries to communicate her sexual needs to you, it is not a criticism of you, your manhood or your sexual skill. Don’t take it personally.

She’s trying to teach you about her body and sharing herself with you on the deepest level possible. She’s opening herself up to you and allowing herself to be vulnerable in the most ultimate sense. It is an honor that should be cherished. Take it as an opportunity to grow closer to your woman, enhance your relationship, learn and become a better lover.

Help! Anal Sex Is The ONLY Way His Penis Stays Hard!

By loveandsex

While a great number of people prefer not to have anal sex or never even bother to try it, many others enjoy anal sex as a part of their sexual repertoire.

Anal sex can be fun and intriguing if you’re smart about it, but what if your partner becomes addicted to anal sex? What do you do?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My boyfriend and I have a wonderful emotional relationship as well as a wonderful physical relationship. He recently convinced me to try anal sex. I hated it at first but after giving it a few extra shots it was ok. He loves it so much! So most of the time I let him finish there. Lately I’ve noticed that if we skip the anal and just stick to vaginal, he can’t finish and just ends up loosing his erection. Am I not tight enough anymore in comparison?? I am 20 and he is 32… Is there a possibility that he is loosing his drive?

— Frustrated Girl

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTQvOH40_1k[/youtube]

Is This A Medical Issue?

Enjoying anal sex is nothing to be ashamed about. Lots of people enjoy anal sex! However, if your partner is wanting to have a lot of anal sex, you might be concerned. Even more so, if your partner is losing their erection if they’re not having anal sex, you might wonder what you’re doing wrong or if there’s something wrong with your partner.

Talk to your partner about it. Find out how they feel. They might not know that you don’t want to have as much anal sex as they do, so you need to talk about it with them. You might be able to find a compromise between anal and traditional sex.

If your partner is consistently losing his erection, that could be another issue altogether. If this is the case, consider seeing a medical doctor and even a sex therapist to find out what might be the issue.

Out, Not In

Remember that the anal canal was created to be an exit, not an entrance. That doesn’t mean you can’t have a little fun with it now and again, but you certainly don’t want to make a huge habit out of it. The anal canal is not self lubricating meaning you will need to use lots and lots of lubrication during anal sex.

Avoid using sharp or large objects during anal sex, or the anus could tear or perforate, causing you lots of trouble in the long run. Having anal sex means being safe about it, and respecting the fact that it wasn’t designed for the purpose of sex.

When Enough Is Enough

There might come a point where you feel like your partner is asking you for more anal sex than you’d like to have. That’s okay, but it’s important that you speak up about it! If you find through your doctor that your partner has no medical issues that would cause them to want anal sex more often, try to find ways to sexually satisfy your partner without anal sex.

There are lots of different sex toys on the market, ranging from the tame to the extreme. Visit a toy store together and browse through things until you and your partner find something you might like to try. You might even find something you like better than anal sex!

All in all, anal sex can definitely be fun if you and your partner both enjoy it and you’re safe and smart about it. While you probably don’t want to be having anal sex all the time, you can certainly save it for that special occasion or for times when you and your partner are feeling especially frisky.

There’s nothing wrong with it as long as you’re both on the same page about your wants, needs and expectations as far as anal sex is concerned!