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5 Tricks To Lasting All Night Long

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Premature ejaculation affects a lot of guys. Tell me if this scenario sounds familiar: you’re in bed with a girl, you’re both enjoying yourselves, and you’re about to wow her with your next move when wham! You finish early. Your girl smiles and mumbles something, and you feel like a sexual failure.

This scene is all too common, but it thankfully can be avoided next time with just a few tweaks. Use the following tips next time you feel the need to push off that inevitable moment, and last all night.

Distract Yourself

Forget the usual advice to “think about baseball.” Or Margaret Thatcher naked. You don’t want to be scared off sex forever! It may seem counter-intuitive, but the best thing to distract yourself with is how sex feels, looks, even smells and tastes.

Instead of mindlessly pumping away toward the Big O, pay attention to other things, like how soft your partner’s skin is, the curve of her neck, or the pain of her nails dragging down your back. Notice the smell of her skin and the wetness between her thighs. When you become mindful, you can last longer and enjoy the sexual experience more. What could be better than that?

Concentrate On Her Pleasure

Instead of focusing on yourself, make it all about her. Choose positions that feel best for her (trust me, she’ll let you know when you’ve hit the right spot). Pay attention to her body’s cues, and you won’t be so hung up on your own.

Women are all about foreplay, so if you can make the foreplay last a long time it won’t matter if you finish shortly after the actual sex starts because in her head it started long before the actual penetration. Once she’s had a few orgasms, keep going, and try to get a new personal “high score.” Remember, a high percentage of women are multi-orgasmic, so challenge yourself to give her more than last time! Making the experience better for her is going to not only improve your stamina but will also improve your sexual reputation.

Change Sex Positions

This is the single easiest thing you can do to avoid premature ejaculation. If you feel yourself getting a bit too heated in one position, move to a completely different one. If you are in doggy style, move to missionary. The trick is to really change it up-moving from one variation of doggie to another isn’t going to cut it. Be careful not to change sex positions too frequently, as it is going to take her out of the mood and feel more like a distraction than anything else.

Wear A Condom

First of all, you should be practicing safe sex anyway, and for most of you, that means wearing a condom. However, if you are in a long term relationship, or you’ve both been tested and she’s on the pill, condoms might not seem like a necessity. If you’re having trouble lasting, though, that little prophylactic can be a lifesaver. We all know that condoms can dull sensation? In this case, a little dulling is exactly what you need. There are plenty of good brands out there now that feel almost like you’re not wearing anything, except that little extra something can keep you lasting much longer.

Change Your Masturbation Habits

If I were to tell you to stop masturbating altogether, and you were to actually listen, your next sexual encounter would probably be record for shortest time between start and finish. I won’t tell you to stop the self-love! I will, however, let you in on a secret. When you are young and just discovering masturbation, you tend to do it fast and furiously, which made sense back then because you were trying not to get caught. Nowadays you hopefully have more leisure but probably still use the vice-grip, carpal-tunnel inducing, furious shake technique you used at 14. Stop it!

Use your self-love time to retrain your body to sustain an erection. Use the start-stop technique of backing off when you feel an orgasm coming on. Doing that a few times will not only train your penis to stay hard without cumming, it will also make the inevitable payoff mind-blowingly better than your normal orgasm.

This technique also translates well to the bedroom. Slow down every time you’re on the verge and by the time you do climax the release will be incredible.

Being an amazing lover isn’t all about lasting longer in bed, but using these tricks to make yourself last longer can have the effect of making you a better lover. With just a few simple tweaks to your technique, you can improve your stamina, keep going all night long, and make yourself seem like a sex god in her eyes. It’s a win-win for both of you.

Dating Advice: Tips For The First Night Together

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Dating will inevitably lead to sex. Here’s how you can make your dating efforts worthwhile and not send your lover running as soon as they walk in the door.

The First Sleepover

You’ve been on a few dates and things are going well, and then your date invites you over for dinner at their place. This can only mean one thing—tonight’s the night you’ll be sleeping over. Whether your place or your partner’s place will be the setting for the main event, there are ways to be better prepared for your romantic sleepover. Just a little advance planning will go a long way toward making sure your overnight experience is a great one.

Stock The Kitchen

Whether you’re hosting the night or your S.O. is, the key to a great sleep over is making sure that you don’t need to leave the apartment or house for anything. If things will be taking place at your apartment or house, you need to make sure that you’ve got food and drink covered for both dinner and breakfast. Get whatever you need for the meals you intend to make, plus some fruit and a snack like nuts or popcorn to have on hand.

Having at least one bottle of wine and a six pack of beer is a good idea, too—that way you have a couple of options in case you don’t like drinking the same thing on the date as your lover. You get extra points if you stock your kitchen with a snack or drink that you know he/she is a big fan of.

Clean The Place Up

If you don’t have time to truly clean your place, at least pick up any clutter and clean the bathroom. Slobs, take note—most people will be grossed out if your bathroom hasn’t been cleaned in over a week. Also be sure to have plenty of toothpaste and hand soap available, along with clean towels. Your date probably won’t be bringing an overnight bag, so it helps to think of what they might need and have it handy.

Throw a new toothbrush in the drawer so they can use it. Just tell them you always keep an extra on hand so they don’t think you thought that sex would be a sure thing. Make sure to make the bed, too, preferably with clean or fairly clean (no more than a couple of days old) sheets. Since you’ll hopefully be heading there sooner in the night rather than later, you want to make sure your bedroom looks nice and inviting. You can go all out with candles and flowers and music, but that isn’t necessary. Some people might even be intimidated by that. As long as the bedroom looks cozy and clean, you’ll be fine.

Pack Appropriately

If you’re the person heading over to your significant other’s place, try to think ahead for what you’ll need to sleep over. Since it’s your first time spending the night together, you can’t really bring over a backpack full of clothes and toiletries. That would look too presumptuous, and if you don’t end up staying the night, you’ll feel silly.

Girls are luckier here, because they usually have a purse on them. If you’re a guy and you’re coming straight from work, you can bring your briefcase or bag and hide some necessities in there. Otherwise, stick with what will fit in your pockets. If you can fit a toothbrush and floss in your bag or pocket, do so. Better still, pack a spare pair of underwear, too.

Since you’ll have to change into your same clothes the following day, having those clean undies will make you feel at least a little fresher. Another thing that always helps is deodorant. You could just sneak some of your date’s, but unless they use unscented or you’re both the same gender, you’ll come out smelling like the opposite sex. Better to bring your own if possible.

You should also consider bringing over a bottle of wine or something else to drink. Even if your mate already has beverages at his or her place, it can’t hurt to have a little more. That means there’s no risk that you’ll run out and have to make a late night wine and liquor store run. Plus, it makes for a nice host or hostess gift to thank them for having you over and cooking for you. Flowers never hurt, either.

Practice Safe Sex

There is one more thing that you need to stock up on, whether you’re the host or the invitee—birth control. Never, ever assume that your date will be supplying proper protection. Better that you both show up with a handful condoms than neither of you do. Nothing ruins the moment faster than realizing that one of you is going to have to go pick something up from the drug store. Plus, you don’t want to be tempted to forego using birth control out of convenience.

If you’re a girl and on the pill, make sure you put your pill pack in your purse. Whether you also use condoms or not, you wouldn’t want to miss your regular dose and throw yourself off. Being prepared with birth control is as important, if not more, as prepping all of the other aforementioned things. It takes the pressure off and lets you enjoy your first night together to the fullest.

Will A Condom Break If You Have Sex In A Hot Tub?

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Sex in a hot tub can be super fun, but sex that’s not safe isn’t. You can have a lot more fun if you know that you’re protected from sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy. Condoms are your best bet for safe sex, but can you use one in the water or will it get damaged?

Question: I’ve been a loyal fan of your YouTube channel for ages now and my girl and I were thinking about having sex in a hot tub. I was wondering if wearing a condom while in the water would cause it to bust or would we encounter any other problems? Thanks for taking time to read my question!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ev1HazIkgl8[/youtube]

Water Is Not A Lubricant

Many people think that if you’re having sex in the water that you don’t need lube, however, quite the opposite is true and especially if you’re using a condom. Water isn’t going to provide enough lubrication inside a woman’s vaginal canal, and if she’s too dry and there is too much friction, it can easily be damaged.

Use a thicker, water or silicone based lube when you’re doing it in the tub or when you’re having sex in the shower, lake or pool. You might be tempted to use an oil based lubricant because you know that oil is resistant to water, however, oil based lube is definitely not compatible with any kind of latex condom. You can use oil based lube with a polyurethane condom, but unless you have a latex allergy and can’t wear regular prophylactics, latex is your best bet for the most comfort and the tightest fit.

You don’t have to use a whole lot of lubricant when you’re getting it on where it’s already wet, but a condom isn’t going to do you any good if there’s so much friction that it busts. A little lube goes a long way here!

Chlorine And Heat Can Affect The Latex

Even if you use a good lubricant during sex in the tub, the heat and chlorine in the tub alone can cause the latex to deteriorate. You may want to try different sex positions in the tub that keep your penis mostly out of the water, such as doggy style with her propped up on the ledge of the tub.

If you’re concerned about the chemicals in the tub affecting a condom, try reducing the amount of chlorine additives you put in. Test the pH regularly to make sure that you’re adding enough, but try to get by with as little as possible. You may also want to turn the heat down some – the hotter it is, the more risk you may be taking that the material will become damaged and disintegrate.

Avoid Oils

Oil is another component that causes latex to disintegrate, and surprisingly enough, there are often oils found in the water of a Jacuzzi. This is because people with suntan oils or sunscreen on their skin will get in the tub, and some of it will come off while they’re soaking. Some bubble baths or additives can also contain oils, so be careful of what you put into your tub.

Don’t Put The Condom On While In The Water

If you plan on wearing a condom while you’re having sex in a hot tub, make sure you put it on first, before you get into the water. This is because if you accidentally get liquid inside the rubber while putting it on – which CAN happen no matter how careful you think you’re being – it can bust or slide off when you’re having sex.

Remember That No Method Is Perfect

Safe sex is all about reducing your risk of contracting STD’s or getting pregnant – there’s no true way to completely eliminate your risk without giving up sex entirely. Abstinence is the only true 100% safe “sex.” That said, understand that you’re taking a risk when you’re having sex at all, whether it be in a bed, a shower, the car or a Jacuzzi.

Using condoms during sex regardless of where you do it at is a lot safer than not using one at all. This is true for sex in the Jacuzzi also – even though oils and chlorine in the water may cause the latex to disintegrate or liquid may get in it and cause it to slip off – you’re still a LOT better off if you’re using a condom than if you don’t.

Sex Toys: How To Keep Them Clean And Safe

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Sex toys can get nasty if you don’t take care of them and keep them clean. Also, some sex toys contain harmful chemicals. Here’s how to keep your favorites like new – and safe for you!

What Are Phthalates?

You may have heard of phthalates – these are dangerous chemicals that can be found in some rubbers and plastics that have been shown to be carcinogenic (cancer causing). Some sex toys also have phthalates in them, namely products that are made of jelly rubber. If you’ve ever opened a brand new product and it smelled of chemicals or had a strong plastic smell, you were probably smelling the phthalates in the rubber.

Does My Sex Toy Have Phthalates?

Most hard plastic vibrators and the like do not contain phthalates, and some jelly feeling products are made from silicone, so the only way to know for sure is to read the packaging and manual that came with your product and find out what it is made of. Some sex toys that do have phthalates aren’t going to necessarily advertise that they do, so if you suspect that your product does contain these chemicals and there’s no information in the packaging to suggest otherwise, you’ll want to assume that it does and take measures to stay safe.

If you’re purchasing a new sex toy or selecting your first one, finding one that is made without phthalates is actually very easy. Glass sex toys, hard plastic vibrators, wood, ceramic, metal and silicone sex toys are all phthalate free. A simple Internet search will reveal tons of phthalate free products for you to choose from.

Using A Condom With Your Vibrator

It’s a huge bummer to find out that your favorite sex toy is made with phthalates. It’s given you orgasm after orgasm and it works like a charm – but should you throw it out? Perhaps, but you don’t necessarily have to. Most people don’t think to use condoms during masturbation – since you’re not really risking getting pregnant or contracting STD’s – but condoms can actually help protect you from dangerous chemicals found in some sex toys.

The next time you’re getting ready to use your vibrator or dildo, slip a condom over it before inserting it into your vagina. This will help protect the delicate tissues inside the vagina from the chemicals. However, using a condom won’t protect you from any phthalates that are on the outside of the toy. For example, if you own a rabbit style vibrator, you can slip a condom over the dildo part of the toy, but you will still remain unprotected from the jelly covering on the vibrating clitoris attachment. All in all though, using a condom with sex toys that you suspect may contain dangerous phthalates significantly reduces your risk.

Using The Right Kind Of Lube

Not all lubricants are compatible with all sex toys. If you’re using the wrong lubricant with your products, you’re going to find that they degrade faster or become sticky, tacky or unusable in just a short amount of time. Finding the right lube to use with your product is essential if you want it to last longer.

Silicone: Silicone sex toys cannot be used with silicone lube. This will cause the material to degrade.

Hard Plastic: Can be used with any type of lube.

Wood: Can be used with any type of lube.

Latex: Cannot be used with oil based lube. Similarly, condoms cannot be used with oil based lube either.

Ceramic & Glass: Can be used with any type of lube.

Jelly Rubber: Best with water based lube, since jelly rubber can contain elements of latex and silicone.

In truth, water based lubricant is probably your best bet for any kind of sex toys. You don’t have to worry about buying different types of lube that are compatible with all your different kinds of products if you’re using a good water based lube. Water based lube is also a breeze to rinse off, unlike silicone or oil based lubricants.

Cleanup & Storage

When you’re using a condom with your sex toys, you can pretty much slip the condom off and store it right then and there. You might have to wipe it down some if things got really wild, but using a condom during masturbation actually helps make clean up faster.

If you’re not using a condom with your product, read the instructions to find out the manufacturer’s suggested cleaning methods. Most hard plastic toys can be wiped down with a damp cloth, while jelly rubber or latex products probably need a good soap and water bath to feel really clean.

You’ll always want to clean your products immediately after use. Sure, you may be spent after an incredible orgasm, however, you definitely don’t want to leave your toy sitting there for any length of time. This will cause it to grow bacteria and many sex toys are porous – meaning that the bacteria will actually absorb into the material of the product. This means your toys will retain odor and may never feel really “clean” again. Be safe and clean your products as soon as you’re done.

Oral Sex – Do You Need A Condom And Can You Get An STD?

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Oral sex isn’t something that makes you think of STD’s automatically –  you’ve probably heard that the greatest risk for transmitting sexual infections such as HIV, AIDS, chlamydia and syphilis come from anal sex and vaginal intercourse. But can STD’s be transmitted through mouth to genital sex? What do you need to do to protect yourself?

Question: Dear Dan and Jenn, I am still young and recently had the “talk” and my parents told me to navigate to this channel. Do you have any tips for a person new to the sex world? Also, I was still confused about oral sex and didn’t want to ask my parents. Do you still need a condom and can you get a STD?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prT-oMvekBs[/youtube]

Remember That You Can Only Eliminate Risk Through Abstinence

No matter what kind of sex you’re talking about – whether it’s oral sex, vaginal sex, anal sex or even giving your partner a handjob or fingering them – you’re never 100% safe from sexually transmitted diseases. Even if you use spermicide, condoms or the withdrawal method, there is nothing you can do short of abstinence to completely eliminate your risk. If you’re engaging in any kind of sexual activity whatsoever with another person, you are putting yourself at risk of getting STD’s.

That said, there are lots of ways you can safely and easily reduce your risk – and be fairly confident that you’re not going to contract an STD. First of all, being in a monogamous relationship with someone who has been tested for and is free from STD’s is a start. If you have multiple sexual partners, condoms are your best asset as far as safety during sex is concerned.

Yes, Oral Sex Can Transmit STD’s

Generally speaking, the risk for spreading sexually transmitted diseases through mouth to genital sex is much less than the risk of spreading them through anal sex or vaginal intercourse. However, there is still a risk there, because STD’s like AIDS and HIV are found in vaginal fluid, pre-cum and semen. Don’t assume that just because your partner doesn’t “ejaculate” in your mouth that you are safe from STD’s.

If you have a sore or cut on your mouth before giving someone cunnilingus or fellatio, your risk of getting an STD multiplies by quite a bit. Hepatitis C, HIV and AIDS are spread easily through blood contact, even semen or precum to blood – which is the case if you have a cut or sore on or around your mouth.

You may not even know you have a cut or sore in your mouth – many times, people have small lacerations on their gums from brushing their teeth and if your gums bleed when you brush your teeth, you can be pretty certain that you have an “open wound” in your mouth all the time, at least when it comes to talking about the transmission of STD’s.

Your Risk Of Contracting An STD During Oral Sex Varies

There’s no sure way of determining how high your risk of getting a sexually transmitted disease through fellatio or cunnilingus is, because it varies. For example, pre-cum has a lower concentration of virus than semen or blood does, and if a woman infected with the HIV, Hepatitis C or AIDS virus and is on her period, she is much more likely to transmit the disease to her partner during sex.

Because how high the risk is depends on so many different factors, there’s no way to accurately say that you’re going to be safe from getting an STD during fellatio or cunnilingus without a condom.

It’s Not Just AIDS Or HIV That Can Be Spread

While HIV and AIDS are probably the most worrisome of viruses that you can contract from mouth to genital sex, they’re not the only ones. There are lots of different sexually transmitted diseases and infections:

  • Chlamydia
  • Hepatitis C
  • Gonorrhea
  • Syphilis
  • Herpes
  • Pubic Lice
  • Genital Warts
  • HPV
  • Hepatitis B

That’s a pretty long list – and while some of these diseases can be treated with antibiotics, others can’t and some can even contribute to throat and mouth cancers later on in life. Furthermore, be aware of the fact that you may not know someone has an STD – in fact, they may not even know it. They may not be displaying any symptoms at all, so it’s best to be safe and assume that you have a risk of contracting any of these diseases through oral sex at any time.

Using A Condom Or A Dental Dam During Oral Sex Will Greatly Reduce Your Risk

If you want to reduce your risk of getting an STD during fellatio or cunnilingus, using a condom or a dental dam will make it much less likely that you would take anything home that you didn’t want to. Here are some tips on how to make yourself safer when giving (or receiving):

  • Wear a condom. Try flavored condoms or a flavored lube to make things taste better (and they smell great) and definitely avoid condoms that have spermicide on them.
  • For cunnilingus, make sure that you use a dental dam. If you place a dab of lube underneath the dental dam on the clitoris and vulva, it will create real feeling sensations that are just as good – if not better – than unprotected fellatio or cunnilingus.
  • Don’t use oil based lubricant at all. Oil based lubes will break down the latex and make the condom pretty much pointless.
  • Get a fresh condom after anal sex or vaginal sex if you’re going to have mouth to genital sex. You don’t want to be using the same condom for fellatio as you did for vaginal or anal sex. Not only does that make the condom less effective, it’s a great way to spread lots of harmful bacteria.
  • If you don’t have a dental dam on hand for cunnilingus, you can do one of two things. You can use a nice, large square of plastic food wrap, or you can cut a condom lengthwise and spread it out over the vulva. Either way is better and safer than using nothing at all.