Dirty talk can really spice up your sex life, but there are just some things that are off limits when it comes to talking dirty Never use these phrases! Dirty talk is a must have in any hot and steamy sexual encounter, from a quickie to a long term relationship. A little dirty talk can go a long way, but the wrong dirty talk phrases can take the relationship straight to nowheresville.

What She Said About Dirty Talk:

There are some sick and twisted people out there in the world that like the raunchiest, dirtiest, nastiest phrases. There are also some super sexy, highly sexual people who do not say a word during sex. I think dirty talk is something that should be explored in little steps to gauge what your partner is into. Moans are always a good way to start and then you can move on to describing what you want done or what you want to do to your partner. If all this seems to make the sex hotter then by all means take it up a notch (if it gets you hot too). But, there are a few grey areas when it comes to dirty sex.

These grey areas are lines that when crossed can make hot dirty talk turn terribly disgusting.

For starters, a dirt talk phrase that I would never want to use or hear is anything “family” oriented. This is any use of the nicknames “mommy,” “daddy,” “brother,” “sister,” “grandpa”. ICK. It’s one thing to be joking while out and call your man “Daddy.” But is something entirely different when you do it while he is banging you. There are a handful of guys who do get off on that but most likely these are also the guys that like to wear adult diapers and want to be breast fed.

Speaking of diapers, and sort of baby talk or goo-gooing is defiantly a no no. There is nothing sexy about a guy talking to you like he is a baby or like you are a puppy dog.

On the flip side, you don;t want to use dirty talk phrases that are too clinical sounding. I would steer clear of any phrase like, “Stick your penis in my vagina.” or “Lick my mammary glands” Ok, I know these samples are extreme but just in case you are a moron and don’t know any better don’t sound like a 7th grade Sex Ed class. But do feel free to role play some naughty catholic school girl and dirty principle fantasies!

What He Said About Dirty Talk:

The first dirty talk phrases you should never want to use are the ones that are deal breakers for your partner(s). Some women may be okay with being called a slut. Some may punch you when they hear that. You typically will have to have a sit down (clothes on) to negotiate the dirty talk phrases you will use. She may want to call you think you may not like and vice versa. Some compromise and give and take will happen. Sort through all that first and foremost before you do anything else.

After that, I would say the next dirty talk phrase you want to avoid using is anything that makes her feel to used and vulgar. A lot of people are into that, but you’ll want to make sure that after you’re done getting naughty she doesn’t feel cheap or used or like a whore.

While you’re doing it, that’s totally fine and even expected and healthy, but afterwards if she’s feeling like a piece of meat, that’s not cool. When she puts her clothes on, she should feel good about what you all just did and super eager to take them off again.

Also, avoid dirty talk phrases that sound like they came from a raunchy teen sex comedy or porn. You should avoid the former because they’re usually uttered by characters who don’t know what they are doing sexually and this is heightened for comedic effect. You also want to avoid comments used by the latter because there are things you can say and do in porn that just have no basis in reality whatsoever.

If you’re going to bust out your dirty talk in the heat of the moment instead of negotiating them first, I would suggest starting small, and relatively safe and less naughty. Try it and see what he/she does and how they respond. You never want to go big and bold too fast. The dirty talk phrases you never want to use are the ones the ones that will get you cut off and cut out the sexy fun time for good.

Dirty talk can be done anytime during the sexual dance, but we’ll discuss it here as part of sex talk before intercourse.

Dirty talk gives an expectation, an idea or a come-on for your partner. Its purpose is to create naughty pictures and generate dirty thoughts in your lover’s mind. And you do this through highly descriptive, highly sensual language.

Your job is to create a picture she can almost see, hear, feel, taste and smell.

Dirty talk provides an avenue for rush. Civil society has always had a rebellious streak and it is human nature to feel a high engaging in something naughty, prohibited or frowned upon. It makes us feel so alive doing something we’re not supposed to. And the very idea of getting away with it, makes us feel superior, which makes it even hotter!

Be warned though – many find dirty talk hot, but not everybody is a big fan. Some find it inappropriate, lewd and down right offensive – like listening to someone dragging fingernails on a chalkboard. This is very important as the same statement can be effective or offensive, depending on your skill, timing and the woman you’re with.

Sensual Softcore

It’s the world of Double Meanings & Sexual Innuendoes – a good set-up before the step up, perhaps something to get her warmed-up at the office, or even a few steps outside the bedroom door.

We know what a ‘banana’ is, but we also know it suggests things other than the fruit monkeys live for. She need not say: I wanna slide your cock in my mouth. She can just hint that she wants a taste of your banana. A woman may feel icky at the word “cock,” but she’ll have no qualms expressing desire for ‘banana.’ The resulting ambiguity serves as major turn-on.

Because of double meanings, hot dogs and buns become something else. Balls, First Base & Home Run put on meanings not even remotely related to sports.

And the thing is, the double meaning potential need not be obvious. In fact, it need not be there at all! Sexual innuendos prove that anything can be made “dirty.” Yes, anything! Even trivial stuff like can openers, catfish, toothpaste, and the moon & the stars – all these can be made dirty. Simply back them up with a sexy tone, lascivious look, heavy breathing, puckered lips, a mischievous wink, a knowing smile, a tongue sweeping across the lips etc. Anything you pair with these can become dirty. With softcore, it’s not so much the precise words as it is the manner you deliver them. Because you can scream “pussy” all day and your girl still thinks you’re referring to some cat.

Deliciously Naughty Hardcore

Softcore is suggestive, hardcore is explicit – it doesn’t say ‘banana,’ it says ‘dick’ or some other slang. It doesn’t hesitate, stall, or curtsy. It is often blunt, direct, and often carries the themes of dominance, authority, aggression and possession. It is declaring what you want and delivering it in the most evocative manner. Hardcore simply lets the listener deal with the real thing. This is not the time for rainbows, flowers and butterflies – it is speaking with license.

Banned from public discourse, hardcore dirty talk can make Grandma Lily faint. It’s very effective in that it lets you almost feel the words – therein lies its diabolical power. Because it is direct, hardcore gives a woman a more vivid picture.

Softcore and hardcore dirty talk have their parts to play in the sexual game. Just as hardcore is ineffective in the early goings, softcore  can be too wussy or even inappropriate in the heat of things.