Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for dirty talk

Dirty Talk: Practice Makes Perfect!

By

Dirty talk can be intimidating if you’ve never done it before. But if you do it over and over, you’ll get better at it – and you can make your sex life HOT! If you are new to dirty talk, you will most likely need some practice so that you are comfortable with the act when it’s time to begin.

How To Get Used To It

You can practice just like you would for a speech and even do it in front of the mirror. Try doing it out loud while you masturbate. You can practice with sexting, writing short notes or via email (but be very careful when sending to a work email address!)

Allow yourself some fantasy time and as your mind wanders as to what it is you’d like to be doing, jot it down. Once you give yourself room for self expression and the permission to write down these sexual thoughts that are floating around inside your head, you will find out just what kind of phrases turn you on. Choose a few at a time to spring on your spouse the next time you’re in bed together. Some people find it much easier to put the words down and use letters as a way of beginning their exploration into dirty talk. The more you use stimulating conversation the easier it gets and it will become like second nature.

It Takes Two To Tango

Dirty talk works best when it is used as a dialogue. No one wants to be doing all of the talking in any conversation. Encourage your partner after they’ve joined in by telling them the next day how hot you thought it was when they said something that sticks out in your mind. If you do this, they won’t be left wondering if anything they uttered was embarrassing or whether you found any of it odd or inappropriate. A little encouragement can go a long, long way.

If your partner is a novice or not very vocal, here are some ways to help get them in the game:

  • Watch an adult movie together that has dirty talk in it – either in the bedroom or out. This can help set the pace.
  • Read a book passage that has some very erotic text – these are very easy to find in most bookstores and are chocked full of plenty of sex scenes. Take turns reading them to each other or hi-lite passages that turn you on when you’re alone so that you can read them during playtime in bed.
  • Pick up a book on erotic poetry. Read portions to each other while rubbing on your partner. Ask them which ones they found the most stimulating while you were reading to them.
  • Write sexy emails back and forth and try to get the dialogue going. (Again, you probably do not need to use work email addresses for this).

Questions To Ask In The Bedroom

  • Do you want me to do it fast or slow tonight?
  • Do you like the feel of my wet ___?
  • Are you ready to shoot your load in me?
  • Where do you want me to ejaculate?

Let your partner start out with “yes” or “no” responses back to these open ended questions. Then encourage them by saying, “please, tell me more,” as they get more comfortable about talking back to you.

Dirty Talk Ideas That Will Make Your Girl BEG For More!

By

Dirty talk can make a woman absolutely ecstatic with pleasure – here are some great ways to get started with dirty talk!

Making Erotic Noises

Most everyone is comfortable with erotic noises and it is a very good place to start. They are as natural as making a deep exhaled sigh as you relax down into a hot bubble bath or when you are getting a massage. Moaning, groaning, sighs and breathy exhales are normal and instinctive when something feels so very, very good.

“Nice” Phrases

Nice phrases are simple, yet effective, and step two to the process. They are an easy way to dip your toes in the water of dirty talk and will add a little excitement to your romp.

  • “Yes, right there!”
  • “Oh yeah, that’s nice.”
  • “You smell wonderful.”
  • “That feels soooooo good!”
  • “I am so happy to be wrapped up here with you.”
  • “Your mouth feels amazing.”
  • “I have been thinking about doing this to you all day long.”

HOT, HOT, HOT Phrases!

Once you have mastered some erotic sounds you will feel a little more comfortable vocalizing with your mate. Try adding some of these hotter phrases, but feel free to change up the ‘body part’ words with what you are most comfortable with. Below are some examples:

  • “My panties get wet just thinking about what you are going to do to me.”
  • “I want your ____!”
  • “I love your breasts!”
  • “Oh baby, I want to come all over you.”
  • “Who makes that cock so hard, cowboy?”
  • “Let me suck on those nipples.”
  • I want to ___ you all night long!”
  • “Mmmmm, harder… don’t stop!!”
  • “Can you feel how wet you get me?”
  • “Oh yeah, that’s it, don’t you dare stop _____ me.”
  • “You like banging this slick ____, don’t you?”
  • “Put me on my knees and bang me until I come all over you!”
  • “You are so tight!”

Hardcore Phrases

Edgy, raw and being totally frank about what it is that you want, hard core phrases convey just that. Not for the timid and not the first thing you should throw at your partner during your first ever encounter with dirty talk. Consider this the ultimate walk on the wild side compared to the basic ‘tamer’ talk we just read.

Many couples will never make it to this level. And that’s okay. It is not some video game where the higher you go, the better. It is really all about your partner. If you find that hardcore phrases turn both of you on, then go for it. But if it ruins the lovemaking experience for your beloved, don’t go there. Take it down a notch or two. We are all a little bit different in what rocks our world.

Here are some examples of hardcore dirty talk phrases:

  • “I want your fat cock to spew all up inside me!”
  • “Whip it out and come all over my ____.”
  • “Watch me while I’m sucking your ____.”
  • Get on your knees and suck my _____ dry!”
  • “Do you want to spank my ass while you’re grinding me from behind?”
  • “Tell me you want to swallow my load!!”
  • “Do you want me to deep throat that cock of yours, baby?”
  • “I want you to sit on my face!”
  • “I’m going to ____ that dripping wet ___ all night!”

“Play By Play” Dirty Talk

If you are at a loss for words, you can do “play by play” dirty talk. Simply describe what’s taking place as you are doing it:

  • “Oh yeah, you’re sucking on my nipples and it’s getting me so wet!”
  • “I’m fingering your dripping, wet ____.”
  • “I’m going to climb on top of you and ride you, cowboy.”
  • “I’m going to lift my legs so you can watch yourself _____ me!”
  • “I can see your dripping cock sliding in and out of me from this position and it’s getting me even wetter!!”
  • “I’m going to explode!”

Asking Questions

Asking questions works also, because you can often get a response out of your partner that way and engage them in dirty talk, even if they’ve never done it before or are nervous about doing it.

  • “How hard does my cock feel inside of you?”
  • “Do you like the way my tongue feels on your clitoris?”
  • “How sloppy do you want it to sound when I’m giving you a blowjob?”
  • “Can you feel my cock getting harder inside of you?”
  • “Do you like the way my breasts bounce around when you’re giving it to me like that?”

Use Your Imagination

With dirty talk comes creativity. Use your imagination and speak whatever comes to mind. If you’re really in the moment, what comes out of your mouth is going to be as hot as what you’re doing!

Dirty Talk Fundamentals – Know These & Become A Master Of Sex!

By

Dirty talk can spice up your sex life and make it hotter than ever before. These dirty talk secrets will turn you into a SEX god!

Your Mindset

To get into the proper mindset for dirty talk, imagine studying and learning a new language. The first time you tried to wrap your head around say, Spanish, it probably felt like you would never master the skill and in the beginning, this may also feel as awkward.

Try to practice saying a phrase or two that you really find stimulating. Find some examples and make them your own. You don’t want it to feel forced. Once you begin to use some of these techniques, you will build on your intimacy with the rapport between you and your partner and it will begin to flow and become natural for you to speak to each other this way.

The Trust Factor

Real dirty talk is ideally for the married, committed couple and honestly, it is not intended for casual hookups. Its use is for a committed relationship and for the long haul. You may be asking yourself WHY?? It’s the trust factor. It takes a very trusting partnership to be able to lay yourself, so bare and so intimately, on the line with another person. You are exposing your innermost thoughts, sexual fantasies and desires. If you did this with everyone you dated, it would lose its value and worth. Throwing around words or phrase examples you learn is not all that it takes to create a long lasting relationship. It is a tool to build on the sexual intimacy you have already started together and to in turn, make it stronger.

Comfort Level

Back to the “trust” level, it’s important that you both agree that you institute a “STOP” word when the level has gotten too dirty or to signal that one of you is becoming uncomfortable with the situation. Pick one! NOW!!! Make it something fun!! Your stop word can be as simple as “Bridle” – as in to “rein in your horse” – or just a sweet, quick, “Honey, hush.”

“Sponge Bob” is a great word to use if, say, one of you hears the kids up and moving around and you need your partner to know they might hear you or to let them know to turn their vocal volume way down low. Your comfort level will likely change and grow over time as you experiment with each other and find out what works, what doesn’t and expand on your vocabulary.

What’s Offensive And What’s Not

Understand up front, that some words you try may be found to be offensive by your partner. Then again, you may be surprised at the types of words that get your partner turned on. IF there are words that your partner finds offensive, kick it to the curb, and find another word to take its place. Some women may find it offensive to be called a whore, slut or cock-sucker in the bedroom, while others may even encourage it.

Play With Your Location

Dirty talk is fun and gives an added dimension to your regular lovemaking, if your in-laws are visiting and sleeping in the next room or your child is having a slumber party, he or she may not feel like being as verbal. Be flexible!!

Foreplay Mistakes That Will KILL Your Sex Life (And How To Fix Them!)

By

Foreplay is an essential part of sex and if you make any of these blunders, you could really do damage to your sex life! Here’s what NOT to do!

Many men slip up during an intimate foreplay with their women. These are three common mistakes that men make when initiating this prelude to sex.

Problem #1 – Foregoing The Kiss

You should prolong the kiss instead! It doesn’t have to be the usual lip-locking. Women actually enjoy it when their men give tender kisses, long strokes of the tongue, and loving bites on their neck and shoulders.

Problem #2 – Paying Most Of Your Attention To The Breasts

Women are uncomfortable when men pay too much attention to their bosoms. Of course, women love it when their partners do incredible things with their breasts. But, they still prefer that their partners adore EVERY detail on their bodies.

Problem #3 – Hurrying Through Foreplay

This is a big no-no. Always remember that foreplay should be done in the smoothest and most comfortable manner possible. Women love it when their men spend time in exploring every sensitive hot spots on the female body. At times, women are the ones who dictate when their men should proceed. However, there are moments when women allow their men to follow their own plans when pleasuring them. But you should not advance towards her inner thigh if she is not yet fully prepared for it. It can be quite unpleasant for women when they are not totally in the mood for the actual sexual intercourse.

What else can you do to give her phenomenal foreplay – one that will set her up for a powerful series of orgasms later? Well, the following tips will come in handy for you!

Tip #1 – Take Pleasure In What You’re Doing

You must be having fun during foreplay in order to become the best in what you are doing. Women can actually tell when their partners are not in the mood for sex even with the bits of action during the prelude. A man’s satisfaction in the sexual overture is a big factor in turning on a woman. Yes, it all begins in the mind! So make sure that you have the appropriate outlook when it comes to the foreplay and the main act.

Tip #2 – Open Communication

If you do not know what to do, then just ASK her. For example, ask if she wants kisses or those titillating nibbles on her skin and if she prefers gentle fondling to wild grasps. In return, be sure that you are ready to give her anything that she asks of you!

Tip #3 – Dirty Talking

Most guys do not know how effective dirty talking can be during foreplay. You may not know this but women CAN get highly aroused even with just words, especially those that depict what you plan to do to them in bed. Aside from dirty talking, try speaking to her of your unadulterated appreciation of her whole being, her beauty, and your contentment on having her all to yourself!

Tip #4 – Be Smooth!

Wait for her to tell you that she is ready to move forward. Let the whole act blend smoothly into sexual intercourse. Do not skip the “appetizer” and head straight for the “main course.” Always be gracious during the prelude to intercourse!

Let foreplay lead both of you into amazing sex. Don’t skimp on it. Apply the above tips and spice things up in your bedroom tonight!

Dirty Talk Basics – What You Need To Know!

By

Dirty talk is an exceptional way to bring the heat back into the bedroom. Just don’t get started without reading these essentials first!

What Is Dirty Talk?

The purpose behind dirty talk is to show you a new way of communicating with your spouse.

Some call it pillow talk, sexy talk, erotic talk or bedroom’s mother tongue, but regardless of what dirty talk is referred to, it is simply honest and open communication with your partner while enjoying sex with one another. It is something that both men and women can use to bring more excitement and pleasure to their sex life.

Open lines of communication are expected for successful marriages when it comes to finances, children and other areas, yet communication in the bedroom still often remains an “off limits” area to many couples.

Why is it that a wife can tell her husband every single detail about an incident involving one of their children or a story involving one of her best friends, but when it comes down to talking with each other, one on one, about what they feel and yearn for in the bedroom they clam up?

Why Use Dirty Talk?

The most important thing to remember is that YOU control the amount of excitement, eroticism and passion that occurs in your bedroom (or elsewhere, for that matter). By using this form of expression together, you can choose to NOT settle for the ordinary!! After all, do you want to have an “off the charts” exciting sex life, or an all too common, sleepwalk through the motions, predictable routine?

Consider dirty talk as a new “spice” in a recipe you have been preparing for years. Maybe you have made the same homemade salsa for decades but you have recently heard about a new way of making it, so you decided to add in some black beans and fresh cilantro just to see if it would really give It a ‘kick’. The results? NOTHING SHORT OF FANTASTIC! You’re not sure why you never thought of adding something to the recipe before. Same basic ingredients (you, your mate and some incredible sex) – but adding in a brand new spice and voila!

Dirty Talk Isn’t Dirty

The main purpose of dirty talk, or as I prefer to refer to it: a ‘very sexy verbal exchange’ between you and your spouse, is to enhance the level of excitement and to help build the intensity between you and your mate.

It is simply an erotic use of the English language (or any language you use) and is an easy way to take your love making to an even more intimate level.

Some women will need to be persuaded that it’s okay and SAFE to have a vocabulary they maybe have deemed ‘trashy’ or felt like mimicked the ‘mouth of a sailor’ when they, in public, are sweet and demure. For most men, there isn’t much sexier, than that lovely, prim and proper, soccer mom wife of his, who chairs the PTA and sings in the choir, but is still his – all his – and VERY vocal about how he makes her feel when it’s just the two of them.