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You are here: Home / Archives for first-time-anal-sex

Advanced Anal Sex Prep That Will Make The Experience Incredible!

By loveandsex

Anal sex is requires a lot of preparation to avoid messes. In order for anal sex to be a pleasurable and sensational experience, you need to take care of a set of extensive preparations beforehand. You don’t want any setbacks to interrupt you from achieving that, do you? This chapter will shed light on the details that, if forgotten, might ruin an otherwise perfect experience.

Well Trimmed Nails

A not so perfect manicure is a no-go when it comes to any kind of sex, not just anal. With anal though, given the fact that the tissue of the anus and anal canal is much more delicate than that of the vagina, taking care of your nails before getting down to business is a very crucial factor.

Chipped, dirty nails may tear the skin and cause unwanted infections. If you are planning to wear latex gloves, don’t think that this way you can save the money spent on a decent manicure. If your nails are too long or too irregular or pointy, they can tear through the latex, and even if they don’t, your girlfriend or wife might still feel them, which can cause tremendous discomfort.

Make sure you cut them really short and even, so that they are smooth and don’t get stuck through layers of skin during anal fingering.

Shaved Butt And Empty Bowels

As well versed as she might be when it comes to her pubic hair, given the fact that the anus is not in plain sight most of the time, she might not come prepared at this aspect. If you don’t mind the hairs surrounding her anus, then it’s absolutely no problem, but if you are planning on some analingus as well, you might want her to come forth with a shaved butt.

In this case, it will be more effective if you’re the one holding the razor, given the fact that she can’t really see her back parts, and can end up hurting herself. As long as you have the right tools – a good shaving cream (a non-irritating one would be perfect), a sharp razor and willingness and attention, the whole experience is not bound to last more than a few minutes and it’s a good first step that can be turned into anal foreplay.

However, if things don’t go as perfect as planned and she ends up with a few minor bruises, as superficial as they might be, don’t have anal penetration right away; there’s a good chance you’ll enhance her irritation.

As far as cleanliness inside her butt is concerned, as always, this matters more to some people than others. There are a few basic rules that shouldn’t be looked upon superficially though. The first one, she should have a bowel movement an hour or so before you two have anal sex, to ensure that nothing is encountered during any penetration, and then thoroughly bathe the area.

Bulb Enemas

This type of enema is filled and used in the same way that one uses an ear syringe to clean the wax out of one’s ears. You fill it by squeezing the air out of it, placing the tip under the surface of the container holding the solution and releasing the bulb, thus filling the syringe with solution.

The enema is administrated by inserting the tip into the rectum and squeezing the solution into the bowels. You can buy this type of enema at most local drug stores and give it to your girlfriend so that she can use it to her convenience.

Enema Bag/Hot water Bottle Enemas

Giving yourself an enema with an enema bag and plastic tubing (also called a fountain syringe) takes a little more skill. If your girlfriend or wife is not accustomed with the rules, hand her these instructions or offer to help before having sex.

Here’s what you have to do: you need an enema bag (which resembles a hot water bottle with a nozzle on the bottom), tubing, and a hook of some kind to hang the bag on (over either the toilet or the tub).

Lubricants And Condoms

It’s only in porn films that saliva and free-flowing love juices provide enough lubrication to fully enjoy anal sex. Non lubricated penetration causes friction of the worst kind and can tear the sensitive  tissue of the anus or the anal canal. Unlike the vagina, the anus does not produce a natural lubricant, only a sort of mucus, but that is definitely not enough.

Water Based

Lubricant comes in two forms: liquid-like (just like plain water, odorless, tasteless, non-staining and non-irritating) and jelly like (it preserves the same properties as the first one, the only difference is that this one has a thicker consistency, like hair gel for example). The first one is probably the most popular, though some people complain that it wears off too easily and you have to reapply it ever so often. My advice? Try them both and see which works best in your case.

Oil Based

The good thing about these ones: they don’t dry off like their water counterparts. The bad thing: they break down latex and pretty
much ruin your protection. Moreover, they don’t wash off as easily as the water based ones and can lead to serious infections.

Silicone Based

This is the best option for you because it lasts a long time, stays where you put it, and doesn’t evaporate- unlike water based lube- and it’s latex compatible- unlike oil based lube. As far as condoms are concerned, there are a few things that it’s imperative you know before having first time anal sex.

Filed Under: Anal Sex Tagged With: anal sex, first-time-anal-sex, foreplay, lubricant, sex tips

10 Anal Sex Rules You NEVER Want To Overlook!

By loveandsex

Anal sex can be a lot of fun for both a man and a woman. However, there are things that should not be overlooked. Here are 10 rules to live by when deciding on this particular sex act.

1. Never Do It While She’s Pregnant

Dr. Ruth Westheimer, sex therapist, media personality and author, points out that some men think that having vaginal intercourse during pregnancy will somehow hurt the baby, so they suggest anal intercourse instead, which is not true. Anal sex can be very dangerous during pregnancy, especially because of the risk of spreading bacteria from the anus and rectum to the vagina.

Vaginal infections during pregnancy can be both harder to treat and more serious. Moreover, it is more difficult to get in a comfortable position for anal stimulation while pregnant, which makes it least desired by women. Also, hemorrhoids are a common side effect of pregnancy and could make anal sex excruciatingly painful for her.

2. Don’t Do Her By Surprise

Word of advice: girls are not amused when boys slip their penises in the wrong hole “by mistake”. It doesn’t matter how turned on she is, she will feel the difference, and she won’t be very happy about it. The only way you’re getting in there is if she’s ready for it. And you’ve talked about it beforehand. And she’s agreed to give it a try. There are no other options. Everything else is a forced-sexual encounter, and you don’t want her to think that about you, do you?

3. Never Skip Foreplay

Even if she’s the type that likes it rough, it’s different when it comes to anal intercourse. Foreplay is critical. She might like when you surprise her with sudden trysts, without any clitoral stimulation beforehand, but she might not like it when you do the same, but in her derriere.

4. Start Slow And Move Step By Step

The anal tightness takes time to ‘break’ into a state of relaxation, and until that happens, any attempt at thrusting is meant to cause pain of the worst kind. This pain is the worst for first time anal sex, so avoid it all costs.

5. Don’t Push It Too Soon

One of Murphy’s famous laws on sex goes something like this: “Anal sex is like snow. You never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.” Always keep in mind that there is no sure thing when it comes to anal sex. She might not want to go through with it tonight, and that means you should always be prepared to back off whenever she asks you to. If you’re too insistent too soon, you might scare her for good.

6. Don’t Go Too Hard

Camille Paglia, feminist author, teacher and social critic said at one point: “You have to accept the fact that part of the sizzle of anal sex comes from the danger of it. You can be overpowered.” Though you can get over excited while you’re doing it, keep a lucid mind and think about the consequences that your roughness can produce. Keep your enthusiasm in your heart, not in your moves, otherwise you can end up hurting her.

7. Don’t Forget About Breathing

Deep inhaling and exhaling is very important during anal sex. Ask your partner to take relaxing breaths so that the anus doesn’t tighten up too soon. After you have inserted your finger or penis inside the anus, get her to exhale deeply so that the muscles relax. Yoga lessons can help her control her breathing, so it wouldn’t hurt if she took some.

There is no such thing as too much lube. People who like anal sex use to say that “too much lube is almost enough.” This is true. Don’t worry about the mess. As long as you’re using the right type (condom compatible), you have nothing to fear about. Lube her whole body if you want, from head to toe, whatever makes you two feel comfortable enough so that the experience is pleasurable.

8. Don’t Use Numbing Cream

Never use lubricants that contain numbing ingredients under the mistaken impression that it’s a good thing not to feel sore. Pain is a sign that your body should desist from what it is doing and this is not something you should ever overlook. She could get hurt really bad without either of you realizing it.

Also, you could get hurt just as well. Accept the fact that it is possible that it hurts in the beginning and move through to the pleasurable phase. That is the natural way of doing it and it saves you both from unneeded complications.

9. Use Protection

Even if you’re a solid couple and you trust each other, you should never do it without a condom. There a number of diseases that you can get and it’s not worth the trouble. However, if you’re dead set on not using, for whatever reason you may invoke, The American Medical Women’s Associations recommends that before safer sex protections are discontinued, both you and your partner be tested for HIV.

10. Don’t Switch Holes Without Switching Hats

There’s a reason women swipe their lady parts from You have to accept the fact that part of the sizzle of anal sex comes from the danger of it. You can be overpowered. The germs that exist in the fecal remains cause serious infections both to the
vagina and to the urinary tract. Either you switch condoms or you put on double hats and when the backdoor job is complete, you can take one off and continue to vaginal intercourse.

Filed Under: Anal Sex Tagged With: anal sex, first-time-anal-sex, foreplay, lube, sex tips

7 Anal Sex Sins You Do All The Time!

By loveandsex

Anal sex can be a great way to spice up your sex life. For generations, anal sex has been considered a no-go by women out there. But although this “national epidemic” is widely reported, the reason that the situation is such escapes most men.

The fact is that women, as much as men, are telling researchers more and more often that they would like to experience anal sex. e most men that come to me with the frustration of having been rejected to not give up. When your girl has doubts, it’s your job as a guy, who innately hates to admit defeat, to try to prove her.

1. You Aren’t Prepared

When it comes to first time anal sex, you don’t just rely on your instincts, on what nature taught you unknowingly. You need to come prepared, with your lessons learned, if you want it to be an awesome experience for both of you, the first time and many times that will follow. Anal is not just sticking your penis inside her bootie and shaking it all around.

You should be aware of her anatomy, how her body works, what you can do to stimulate her at the right time, etc. If you don’t enter the situation sufficiently informed, you are not going to have hot sex. But you will convince her that “no” was the right answer after all.

2. Your Manual Is Porn

Another thing that confuses you and stops you from performing at your full potential is the misinterpretation given by the porn industry. What we’re getting is a whole new order of sex positions, involving a different order of experiences. These things are beginning to reach into our lives and change the interior design of our sexual fantasies.

We’ve got to recognize that what one sees through the window of the TV screen is not as important as what we are bound to experience in our real lives. Anal sex is not as easy to master and straightforward as you see it in your XXX collection.

Professional porn actresses are either stretched out or they are using a numbing cream or gel to dull the pain. Another possibility: they start filming after having injected tons of lube inside her bootie and after she’s been aroused to some extent, so that the act seems real and doable. Don’t believe those that are trying to convince you that it’s not a big deal, because, in fact, it is.

3. You Don’t Talk To Her Beforehand

Women are scared. Yes. They get cold sweats and shivers when they think about it and the only thing that would mend this is just a few words of encouragement from your part. Not the “you’ll see you’ll like it” whispered by surprise, when you’re having sex, not that one. That doesn’t count as the talk.

Approach the subject in a non-sexual environment, and make sure you give her all the support, promise of protection and patience she needs. Take your time and assure her that it will be ok, it will feel good and it won’t hurt. Talk it over.

Find out exactly what makes her hesitant to try it and then see what you can do to belie her fears. Communication is a big deal for women; you ought to know that by now.

4. You Don’t Stimulate Her Enough

It is important that she is very turned on before you even go near her derriere. When she’s really heated up, her body is much more open to you than if she is only mildly turned on. She needs to be aching for you to touch her there. Otherwise, instead of giving you the moans and groans, she’ll just respond with a tense grimace. Rub her body all over with lube, get her relaxed with kisses and caresses, maybe a good dose of cunnilingus.

5. You Lose Focus

Once the hardest part is over and you find yourself inside her, you need to continue to be highly aware of every move you make, since being too rough can cause her considerable pain. You cannot thrust into her anus as hard as you would into her vagina.

Take it easy and pay attention to how it is making her feel. If she tells you to stop, then stop. If she tells you to get out, then get out. If you get selfish and focus on your pleasure over her potential pain, this will probably be the last time you’ll have anal sex with her.

6. You Don’t Let Her Set The Pace

A big part of the fear that women feel when it comes to anal sex is that they are helpless in this game of power play. If you want her to agree to it and also love the experience, let the action happen on her own grounds. Let her hold your penis and guide it slowly inside of her anus.

Even if it takes her half an hour to insert an inch, let her do it. If you surprise her with a sudden movement, the thought of having lost the control will make her even more scared. Just talk to her while she’s doing the job, seduce her mind and she’ll really let loose.

7. You Neglect Her Other Lady Parts

The sensation of touching the anus or rectum alone may feel uncomfortable for your girl, but couple it with penetration or oral sex, and suddenly it’ll feel much better. If you keep her mind busy with an awesome female orgasm, she won’t mind the back action that much. For example, while you’re fingering her anus, kiss her really deep on the mouth, so that she feels you’re still connected.

Filed Under: Anal Sex Tagged With: anal sex, better sex, female orgasm, first-time-anal-sex, having sex, lube

7 Common Anal Sex Myths DISPELLED!

By loveandsex

Anal sex is one of the most misunderstood sex acts. Break through these well known myths and learn the real TRUTH about anal sex! It’s NOT what you think!

1. It’s Dirty

A simple look around is enough to convince anybody that we’re living in an age where hygiene is better than ever. Anybody who follows the normal hygiene rules ought to have a clean anus. And anyway, feces are stored in the bowel, not in the anus. If she has a good digestion and she makes sure that she poops before you two decide to go bottoms up, everything should be alright.

Normally, there remains only a small amount of fecal matter in the anal canal and rectum after a bowel movement. And one can always resort to an enema for extra cleaning. Don’t do it right before the act though. While it will clean out the anal cavity and may even feel good to some people, excessive douching can dry out the anal canal and cause micro-abrasions that make the transmission of an STD is more likely.

2. It’s Painful

Not if you use proper technique. In fact, when stimulated, this area can be quite pleasurable.  The anus is rich in nerve endings and participates with our genitals in the engorgement, muscular tension and contractions of sexual arousal and orgasm.  However, if you rush things up or you’re too aggressive, it will hurt, but this happens with any kind of sex, not just anal.

It’s critical that you take your time, go very slowly and carefully and use plenty of lube. And yes, saliva just doesn’t cut it in this particular case. Pay attention to her body and the way it responds to your moves and if there is any discomfort, stop immediately. If you don’t, it can make the anus tenser the next time you try it. The body also has a memory of its own, you know.

3. It’s Dangerous To Your Health

If you don’t use a condom or the right type of lube, you can end up with serious health problems. Anal intercourse is the easiest way to transmit HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases. Using a condom decreases the risk. It also keeps you away from getting a urinary tract infection, which could happen if her anus is not as clean as it should be. Don’t think that it’s enough to wash your penis after anal sex to be safe from diseases.

4. It Causes Incontinence

Anal incontinence is caused either by severe damage to the muscles and nerves of the anus or by the brain’s failure to control
the body. First time anal sex should be done by the book. If you’re so rough and tough that it results in
repeated injury to the internal anal sphincter, then yes, you can make your girlfriend or wife incontinent, but if you’re reading this, it means you want to do it right, so that not only both of you feel pleasure, but you’re also safe from unnecessary injury.

5.  It’s Unnatural

“The only unnatural sex act is that which you cannot perform” said Alfred Kinsey. And right he is. Frankly, anal sex has been around for centuries and no, it wasn’t just something the Greeks did. This century does not have a monopoly on imagination and experimenting with one’s body and people from other cultures and other times had discovered long ago that anal sex is neither weird, nor wrong. The bottom line is that it’s your body and your decision. If you think anal sex is unnatural, then don’t do it.

6. It’s A Gay Thing

The majority of people think that anal sex only happens in porn and in the gay community. There are so many jokes about homosexuals and anal sex that of course the myth started to seem real to a bunch of people. But this is not true. There is no link between anal stimulation and homosexuality.

Across the centuries men and women have enjoyed anal sex free of misconceptions and independently of their sexual orientation. Not to mention that many homosexuals simply refuse to have anal sex because they just don’t like it. In Anal Pleasure and Health, Jack Morin reveals that less than 30% of homosexuals have regular anal sex, oral sex being a much more common practice.

7. Women Don’t Enjoy It

You know how they say that bad news travels fast? That’s the situation we’re dealing with right here. We only hear the awful stories of women being forced to it by pushy boyfriends, but we never hear about those savvy girls that enjoy it really much and practice it regularly.

Sex tips columnist Susan Crain Bakos says: “Anal sex is seen as the ultimate male sexual fantasy. We, as a culture, don’t understand how much women can like it too.” And she’s right. Our culture says that “good girls don’t do that” when, in fact, they do. And a lot, if I’m permitted to add.

Filed Under: Anal Sex Tagged With: anal sex, anal-penetration, first-time-anal-sex, orgasm

Why Foreplay And Preparation Before Anal Sex Is Essential

By kendallashley

Anal sex can be one of the kinkiest experiences for any couple to take. However, it can also be one of the messiest if not handled properly. Preparing for this kind of sex is a key ingredient to having a great time. If you have ever had a bad experience with anal sex then you know just how wrong everything can go. Being prepared for every aspect of the action will leave little room for surprises. Here is a prep guide to help you out.

Change The Sheets Beforehand

Darker sheets are recommended for this kind of sex sex. Lighter sheets are more likely to show stains. When you change out the sheets for a darker set, you are less likely to see any stains that might occur during the act. Choose blue, black or a dark green for best results. Sex has a way of getting passionate quickly and the last thing that you want is for her to look down and see a stain while in mid thrust. Change the sheets before you get started to add to the spontaneity and the aesthetics of the occasion.

Consider Using An Enema First

Using an enema first is a necessity for most couples. There are a lot of couples that do not do this, but most will. Depending on your partner’s diet and regular bowel movements, she will need to use an enema herself beforehand in order to remove the majority of fecal matter from her anal cavity. Some women even think that this feels good. Make sure that she is not over-rinsing her anus. This can lead to dryness inside her and cause micro-abrasions during sex. These micro-abrasions can lead to the passing of STD’s or bacterial infections.

Engage In Plenty Of Foreplay

Foreplay is essential for anal sex. Make sure that you’re not just shoving your penis into her anus before she’s ready. Start out with normal foreplay. Kiss her, suck on her breasts and give her oral before you even think about doing anything to her anally. Use your own spit on your finger and then ease it into her anus. This will get her muscles prepared for your penis. Make sure that she is relaxed during foreplay. It’s best to use a sex toy on her anus before you use your penis. Using a small vibrator or a dildo on her will allow her to relax the muscles and get accustomed to the size.

Use Lots Of Lube

The anus does not produce it’s own lubricant. This is much different than the vagina. In order to make your anal sex more pleasurable and less painful, you need to use a lot of lube. Get a bottle specifically for anal sex and apply it to your anus. Using lube on a sex toy before you enter her with your penis is the best way to get her accommodated to the size that will be inside her. This will also apply the lube to her anal cavity.

Use Condoms, Even If You’re Monogamous

Always, always, always use a condom for anal. There are two reasons for this. First of all, a condom is going to have less resistance inside her. It will react with the lube to make the experience much more enjoyable for her. Secondly, a condom will cut down on the chance of spreading diseases and bacteria. Even if you are in a committed relationship, the spread of bacteria can easily be transferred from her anus to your penis. More than likely, you’re going to want to penetrate her vagina during your session. Instead of having to wipe off your penis with a disinfectant, you can simply take the condom off.

Clean Your Sex Toys Well

After you have had anal sex, it’s imperative that you clean all of the toys that were used anally. The toys can house diseases and bacteria, so keeping the toys clean is essential to keeping you and your partner safe during anal sex. A lot of porn stars recommend running your dildos and vibrators through the dishwasher to kill off any bacteria. This will not work on some materials like Cyberskin. Glass and silicone dildos and vibrators can go through a dishwasher without incident. You can also buy cleaner to disinfect your toys afterward, however, antibacterial soaps work just as well.

Anal sex is a great way to keep you and your partner on your toes sexually. But you must stay safe and comfortable throughout. Anal sex is fun, but it requires a little preparation. Don’t be caught off guard. Stains and smells can easily ruin the session and anal sex for life. Following these guidelines will help you get through the anal experience with grace and poise.

Filed Under: Anal Sex Tagged With: anal sex, anal-penetration, first-time-anal-sex, foreplay, lube, personal lubricants, sex tips, Sex Toys

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