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Dirty Talk Fiascoes To Avoid!

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Dirty talk can end up being a complete failure if you don’t steer clear of these warning signs! If you attempt to jump full throttle in to dirty talk, your partner could wonder where you suddenly came up with the idea and might even think that you’ve been having an affair or watching porn.

Be Honest With Your Partner From The Start

You will need to assure them from the get-go that this is something you want to try with them instead of just springing some hardcore phrases on them during the middle of a romp. A good deal of women are turned off by porn, so try not to emulate what you’ve seen during some of those movies. Lots of them have cheesy lines and actors that aren’t up for Academy Awards for a very good reason.

You could find that your better half finds dirty talk uncomfortable and off-putting. Some consider it to be raunchy and a put down to a person they love. Some heart to heart communication and a give and take attitude between two people who love each other should be able to put the uncomfortable one at ease. Be patient with the partner who has reservations and just use soft pillow talk from time to time to warm them to the idea.

Sometimes dirty talk can be more comical than erotic, depending on what is said and how it is said. It’s okay to laugh! But don’t give up – reread some of the suggestions from time to time if you are feeling like you haven’t quite got it yet.

Be Yourself When Using Dirty Talk

Women, please don’t try to be who you are not. Faking an orgasm and screaming like it’s the best sex you’ve ever had will only cause problems down the road. He’ll wonder why he can’t get you that worked up EVERY time when you get tired of pretending and you will eventually tire of faking it and long to really be satisfied. At that point, and rightly so, he’ll be frustrated and unsure of why he suddenly can’t put you into the throws he saw you ‘act’ your way through before.

When you’re using dirty talk, don’t tell your partner about things you honestly have NO intentions of doing (ie. Threesomes, group sex, farm animals, sex in public, midgets, bondage, etc.) You may find that it triggers some new fantasies or embeds some new images in his or her mind that he or she could continue to ask you to talk about and then want to act them out in real life.

Be aware that it can come across as very insincere. Telling your man, “your penis is so huge,” when in reality is only about 3 inches isn’t going to make him suddenly feel like a stud. Telling her that that you love her massive tits when she is more “grape” than “grapefruit” in size could backfire. Sure, indulge a little but don’t go completely overboard with your exaggeration. In fact, when your lover is overly conscious of his or her size, dirty talk can do amazing things to boost their confidence. Tell the guy with the tiny penis that he rubs your clitoris so perfectly or whisper to your wife that you love being able to put her whole breast in your mouth. Dirty talk gives you the avenue to banish their insecurities and make them eager for more hot sex with you.

Mix It Up

Dirty talk can also become redundant (just like missionary sex day after day after day). Make sure that you don’t use the same phrases, over and over, or trust me, it will have the exact opposite effect and your partner might end up thinking, “Okay, I’ve heard that so many times – please shut up already.”

7 Foreplay Tips That Will Bring Your Lover To The Edge

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Foreplay can often be more satisfying than the sex itself, because it’s the anticipation that is sweeter than relief. These tricks will drive your partner wild!

Slow, Deep Kissing

No, not the slobbery kind. Making out is a heavily underrated foreplay technique, because it is usually seen as what people do when they’re not sexually active. The truth is, deep and slow kissing is a huge turn on even when you know you’re going to have sex later! Keep your saliva in check, but don’t be afraid to slowly explore your partner’s entire mouth. Nibble their lips and kiss them softly on the mouth before engaging in tongue again. Enjoy it and convey to your partner that you are enjoying it and aren’t in any rush at all.

Rubbing Your Hands All Over Their Body

This may seem cliche, but most people don’t do this correctly during foreplay. Having your partner rub their hands all over your body can be extremely thrilling – but most of the time, the touch isn’t soft enough to really send chills down your spine. When you go to rub your hands all over their body, don’t use your entire palm. Instead, use only your fingertips and touch your partner only as hard as you might touch a laptop track pad. This soft touch is what will ignite the nerves in your partner’s skin!

Kissing Their Body

You’ll want to take your mouth along the trails that you made with your hands, but again, remember to do this softly. A nibble and a lick here and there is nice during foreplay, but try to use only your lips when you do this. The softness and warmth of your lips without wetness is extremely enticing. Don’t leave any part of their body uncovered by your mouth – go all the way down their legs and back up again, over their tummy and chest, and back up to their neck, chin and arms. You can even use this as a “body mapping” technique by paying attention to which spots they seems to enjoy the most.

Breath Play

When you’re kissing your partner’s entire body is a great time to engage in breath play. Breathe hot air against the area you just kissed, or lick the area and breathe cool air on it to send an icy shiver down your partner’s spine. Breath play is especially effective around the neck area and ear area, and when you’re kissing.

Oral Sex

Oral sex is an essential part of foreplay because it not only conveys a lot of emotion (which is necessary for women), it also creates immense pleasure for both girls and guys. Make sure that your foreplay routine never, ever skips over oral sex. Depending on what you and your partner want to do, you can use oral sex as a tease (don’t bring your partner to orgasm) or you can use it to give your partner an orgasm to prep them for multiples later (this is usually done with women and can make sex absolutely explosive!)

Teasing Penetration

Teasing penetration is an intense form of foreplay that is just as hot for the guy as it is the girl. After you’ve done oral sex, kissing and touching and you’re ready for sex – but not quite ready to give in to the anticipation yet – teasing penetration will keep the fires burning but satisfy your need to be closer to each other. During teasing penetration, the male partner will enter the female’s vagina, but only a little at a time. Short, light thrusts that only put the head in are incredible for both him and her, and either partner can control this. If she wants to tease him, she can hold his hips to prevent him from going in further and if he wants to tease her, he can simply pull out. This form of teasing will almost always end in sex because at some point, the need and desire overwhelms both the man and woman!

Backing Off From Orgasm

If you haven’t completely lost all your senses yet in a cloud of bliss and passion from all the foreplay, you may still want to prolong the actual finale. Tease your partner by reducing the amount of stimulation (whatever it is at this point) when you feel they are close to orgasm – you will also want to do this when you feel like you’re getting close to orgasm. Resume kissing or teasing, until you’re both cooled off enough to continue without reaching orgasm immediately. This time frame will get more narrow as you continue – eventually when you resume sexual activity you’ll blow immediately, or you’ll just get to the point where you’re completely powerless to stop it.

Erotic Massage: How To Please Your Girl Both Emotionally And Sexually

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Erotic massage is like a session of extended foreplay. And what do women say they wish men would do more of? FOREPLAY! Open your girl up with erotic massage.

Erotic massage is a fabulous way to open doors in your relationship. Taking the time to explore your partner’s body can help you learn what makes your partner more relaxed, excited, turned on and so on. By incorporating erotic massage into your relationship, not only will you be able to use it as a way to meet your partner’s innate need for affection, you will also meet her need for foreplay.

What Women Need To Be Happy

But women need a lot more than just “good” sex to feel happy. For a woman, sex equates to emotional intimacy. If a woman does not feel emotionally connected with her partner, then she will not want to have sex with him. For example, many men can have an argument with their wives, yet still jump into the sack even with unresolved feelings. But women are much different. If a woman is upset with her man due to an argument or any other reason, the last thing she will want to do is have sex with him.

If you are nodding your head in agreement right now, then good for you! At least you recognize the difference between males and females in this respect. But how much you understand may be an entirely different story.

Giving Her A Lot Of Attention

Think about it. In the beginning of your relationship with your woman, you gave her A LOT of attention. She was all you could think about. All you wanted to do with your time. She was the only woman that captured your interest. You dated her, maybe even surprised her with flowers and small gifts for no reason. You commented quite frequently how hot she was and how much she turned you on. But as time went on, she became less of a focal point for you. You found yourself wanting to spend more time with your friends or at work. Maybe now you have a few drinks with your buddies on Fridays or get together on the weekends to watch football. Now you only buy your lady flowers and gifts on special occasions. You still find her incredibly attractive, but you don’t tell her anywhere near as much as you did early on in your relationship—maybe only when you are looking to have sex with her.

This is why sensual and erotic massage is so important. It can help move you out of this sort of rut with your partner and give you a way to show her just how important she is to you. Women need this reassurance from their mates. Without it, they can never be truly happy. By taking time out of your busy life to stop and totally devote yourself to your partner by giving her a sensuous massage, you will please her both emotionally and sexually in a way like never before.

It’s important to keep in mind that sexual desire in a woman begins with sexual arousal. One of the best ways to go about creating sexual arousal within your partner is to satisfy her need for affection and emotional intimacy.

Creating Sexual Arousal Through Erotic Massage

Erotic massage is great for creating sexual arousal in a woman. This is especially achieved through the sexual tension and anticipation it promotes. For women, the thrill and anticipation of sex is what makes the actual act of sex so much better. Through erotic massage, you can create sexual tension by engaging your woman both physically and mentally. The mental and emotional part of the massage is just as important as the physical part. You cannot achieve the ultimate state of sexual arousal or even orgasm if one of those two important components is missing.

Reconnect With Her

Reconnecting with your woman on an emotional level is one of the keys to sexually pleasing your woman. So don’t look at this part of the process of erotic massage as insignificant. It is actually the most significant part of all. It’s like the key that turns an engine on. Without it, you’re not going to go very far. Also keep in mind that women are not carbon copies. No two women are alike. This is why it’s important to find out exactly what your lover likes and doesn’t like as you perform the massage. You can’t use intuition or tricks to get the job done. You have to make a sincere effort and pay attention to your lover and her responses. Erotic massage is not about tricking your woman into sex. It’s about sexually arousing your lady so that she “wants” to have sex.

Foreplay: How To Undress A Woman

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Foreplay is essential to great sex, but you don’t have to wait until your girl is naked to start. Here’s how to make GETTING her naked part of the foreplay!

By touching your partner during foreplay, you are telling your partner that you are interested in having sex. In fact, a recent study published in the Journal of Sex Research found that one hundred percent of the women polled feel that when their partner touches them, it is a sex-signaling mechanism. In other words, touching someone you care about is read by women as another way of asking, “Would you like to have sex?”

Try to casually touch your lover as much as possible without being clingy or needy. Merely let them know that you are interested, and you will drive the arousal levels sky high.

Undressing And Getting Ready

It really doesn’t matter how you take your partner’s clothes off; they can fly off in the heat of the moment, be stripped off as a tease, or peeled off gently and one by one. The point is that her clothes are coming off and that’s a good thing but some items are a bit harder to get off than others. Let’s look at some of these issues and how to work around them.

Should I Take Her Clothes Off?

Listen to your partner, both what she’s saying and her movements. Is she begging you to remove her clothes, or is she taking them off for you? Does she offer advice on how to remove certain bits and pieces, or does she look at you provocatively in anticipation? Pay attention to the nuances.

If you find yourself nervous and fumbling, slow things down even further. Rub the places that you want to remove the clothes, first, to warm up her skin and really sensitize her body to your touch. Or, kiss and nibble those same areas lightly before detaching whatever clothing you’re working on next. Trust me, the more time you take at this stage of the game, the more aroused she’ll get, and the more attentive and caring you’ll come across.

Should Everything Come Off?

A valid question, but one that probably is better answered in the heat of the moment. Some women are self-conscious and aren’t comfortable whipping off their clothes while with someone new, but it shouldn’t be too much of an issue if you’re going slow while tickling, lightly biting or being playful as you move around her body. Make her comfortable and anything is possible, but you will eventually need her panties to come off if you want to perform oral sex.

How Do I Get Her Bra Off?

Like the condom wrapper or dental dam, bra clasps are a tricky thing to master, especially when you’re excited and can’t wait. Try first undoing it with two hands (much easier), then move on to the one-handed technique with these tips:

  • Kiss her neck and tickle her with your breath; most women love this and can’t get enough of it. While you’re behind her, it’s relatively easy to see where her bra strap is, so you can grab it with two hands and remove it that way.
  • If you’re standing in front of her, give her a hug. Then, use both of your hands to grab her bra clasp, and pinch it together like you’re trying to open a chip bag. You’ll know you’ve got it because the bra will come off. (And as an aside, this technique works exceptionally well with only one hand too – a man I used to date could undo my bra with one hand in mere seconds whenever he hugged me hello. It just takes a bit of practice).

Erotic Massage: Creating A Soothing & Relaxing Environment

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Erotic massage preps your girl for amazing orgasms – but she won’t be able to relax if the room you’re in isn’t right. Find out how to set up the perfect area.

Before you begin your erotic massage, it is very important that you prepare the room or location in which you will be performing the massage on your partner. Your ultimate goal will be to create a soothing and relaxing environment that encourages both romance and release of stress, anxiety, and inhibition.

The first and most important thing you will want to do when preparing for the massage is to schedule the massage during a time when you and your lady have will have a couple of hours of alone time together. You don’t even have to tell her what you’re up to. Just tell her you have a surprise for her a couple of days in advance, get your massage supplies ready, and be willing and able to perform when the time arrives.

Eliminate Interruptions

When performing a sensual and erotic massage, you will want to eliminate all possible interruptions. This includes things like turning both the phone and the answering machine off. The same goes for cell phones, pagers, and any other electronic devices that make noise or vibrate when some type of message is received.

Other possible distractions might include pets, like a cat or dog that may enter the room or whine, whimper, and scratch at the door. Watches that have alarms or beep to signal each hour can also pose as a distraction. And, of course, children!

It’s very important to keep in mind that when performing an erotic massage, your goal is to connect both physically and mentally with your partner. To achieve this, both you and your partner will need to be able to slip into a state of mind that requires intense focus and concentration. You will not want anything, not even the faintest beep of a watch or the sniffing of a dog’s nose under the door, breaking your concentration. So be sure to alleviate any interruptions that might keep you and your partner from having a relaxed and sensual environment.

Music & Sound

Nothing helps set the mood for a romance and peaceful environment like the sound of soft music. Music is also helpful in reducing background noises, such as children playing outside, cars driving by, and barking dogs.

When it comes to your choice of music, you will want to choose something that is slow and soft. The music should be relaxing.  Music that has added sounds of a soothing stream of water or ocean waves in the background can also be very soothing. There are many musical tracks made just for erotic massage. Not only are these musical tracks soft and relaxing, some of them are very sensual and seductive, so it never hurts to look into them.

Lighting

Lighting is also very important when it comes to creating a soothing and romantic environment for erotic massage. And what’s the most popular source of light that’s directly linked to romance? That’s right—candles!

When preparing your massage environment, turn off all electrical lighting and fill the room with the light from several candles. The soft warm glow and flickering of candlelight sets a romantic and seductive space. It will also help you convey the message that you are giving a sweet and pleasurable massage with several seductive experiences to look forward to.

Be sure to test out the lighting beforehand to ensure you achieve adequate lighting. When using candles, be sure to place them in areas where they can safely burn. Avoid placing them too close to curtains or near anything that could easily ignite from the constant heat, such as paper and fabric.

Massage Table Or Bed

Because your partner will be lying down for up to an hour or more, you will want to ensure the table or bed you create for her is soft and comfortable.

Although a bed can be very cozy, it can be difficult to maneuver around due to its large size. Many beds are also not high enough. As a result, if you use the bed you sleep  and have sex in to give your lady a massage, you could wind up having to hunch over most of the time, which can be very uncomfortable for your lower back. You might also have to get into the bed to perform the massage, which is not what you want to do, as it could create too much jostling around as you reposition yourself in an attempt to reach other areas of your partner’s body.

The ideal massage bed or table is one that elevates your partner to about the level of your waist and can be easily worked around while performing the massage. If you are like most people, you probably don’t have a massage table. However, you probably have a table, such as a dining table, from which you can create your own massage table. Again, be sure the massage table is warm and comfortable. You can test it out yourself first by lying down on it. If you find the surface is too hard, just add some more blankets—the thicker the better.

Massage Oil

Using oil during massage is very important. Not only will this help your hands to glide smoothly over your partner’s body, its scent, warmth, and sensation will add to the seductive nature of the massage itself. Picking the right type of oil is important.

  • Almond oil makes for a great massage oil. Although it’s a little higher in price than other oils, it’s worth every penny spent when using it for a home massage on your partner.
  • Sunflower, grape seed, safflower, sesame, peanut, coconut, and avocado oils make great massage oils. They can be easily found it most grocery stores.

To add to the sensuality of your massage oil, try adding a few drops of aromatherapy oil, such as chamomile or lavender.

Never use petroleum-based oils for massage (including baby oil). Although mineral oil is often touted as great oil for the body, many massage professionals don’t like the feel of it. It is also felt that plant-based oils are healthier for the body than mineral oils.

Be sure not to squirt the massage oil directly onto your partner. This is not romantic and you also risk the massage oil being too hot or cold if you don’t take the time to rub it in your hands first.

Last but not least, never apply the massage oils to your partner’s vagina. The breasts, of course, are fine, but avoid rubbing the massage around or inside the vagina. Before touching her vagina or inserting your fingers, you will want to wipe the oils from your hands. This means you will need to keep a warm, wet towel nearby for when the moment is right. Never wipe her with the towel, however, as this could kill the mood.

Genital Massage And Lube

If you need lubrication for the genitals during the massage, use a personal lubricant. Make sure you take time to keep it warm and out of sight prior to using it. An effective way to do this is to heat a damp hand towel in the microwave before the massage and then wrap the warm towel around the lubricant. You can then set it aside on a nearby table. When the time is right, you can use the damp towel to wipe the massage oil from your hands and replace it with the warm lubricant.

When it comes to using the massage oil, the key is to key it warm. The best way to do this is to heat the oil in a glass bowl or plastic squirt bottle in the microwave just prior to inviting your partner into the room for the massage. To keep the bowl or bottle of oil warm throughout the massage, wrap a warm towel around it that has been heated in the microwave or dryer.