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You are here: Home / Archives for foreplay

Sexy Things to Do With Clothes

By loveandsex

Typically, you think of clothes as an obstacle to sex. Well, you’re about to learn how they can play a much more exciting role. And we’re not talking about dressing up like a cheerleader to act out a guy’s fantasy (though that would be fine too).

Leaving on an article or two of clothing can create a delicious sense of urgency and provide a visual thrill.

So before you strip down, check out these tips for getting your wardrobe in on the lusty action.

12 Sexy Things to Do With Clothes 

  1. Give him a long look at you in a bra, panties, and tall boots. The vixenish-sweet combo majorly turns on men.
  2. Blindfold him with his tie. Blocking his sight heightens his other senses, and not knowing what your next move is will drive him insane (in a good way).
  3. While wearing a slinky, silky camisole, climb on top of him and then slide your body all over his naked skin.
  4. Unzip his pants, but don’t pull them off. Instead, insert your hand, gently take his member out of the opening in his boxers, and treat him to some amazing oral action. Trust us, it’ll give him a rush to have only this one sexy part exposed.
  5. Fling open a front-clo­sure bra right before cli­max. Setting your breasts free at this pivotal point will send him tumbling over the edge.
  6. Whip off his belt, fold it in half, and give his butt a few playful whacks.
  7. Gently bind his ankles together using your bra. When you restrict his move­ment, you get to be in control and he feels the thrill of being dominated by you.
  8. Have him place his hands or mouth down south while you’re still in your undies. The fabric is a barrier (amping excitement), and his warm breath will feel amazing.
  9. Sit on top of him, both of you wearing just undies. Grind back and forth against him for as long as you can, then strip and have sex.
  10. Just push your under­wear aside to have sex. Again, the immediacy of it is hot—like you can’t wait to have each other.
  11. Don’t let him remove his tee shirt before sex. Then, at some pivotal moment— say, midorgasm—grab the fabric in the middle of his chest, twist it so it tightens around his torso, and pull him close.
  12. Slooowly slip off your panties but keep your skirt on before straddling him for girl-on-top sex. It sends the message that you can’t wait a moment longer to have him inside you.

From Cosmo’s Guide to Red-Hot Sex (Feb. 2008, Hearst books/Sterling)

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: foreplay, sex tips

Top 10 Tips To Give Women An Orgasm

By loveandsex

Did you know that women can experience different types of orgasms and can even have multiple orgasms? It’s true! Unfortunately, many women can go years without an orgasm from their partner, and we all know how hard it is to satisfy a woman. Here are 10 tips to increase the chances she’ll reach climax, including the secret to multiple orgasms:

Start outside the bedroom

Want to increase the chances she’ll orgasm? When was the last time you surprised her with a little drawing, letter or flowers and sent them to her at work? Believe it or not, creative and romantic gestures DO turn women on because love and lovemaking are interconnected in a woman’s brain. Do this and you can bet-your-bottom-dollar you’ll be doing more than just eating dinner when she walks in the door! 🙂

Relax her

It’s very hard for women to orgasm if they are stressed. Give her a quick back massage. Rub her shoulders, upper back and neck to melt away the tension.

Ignore the vagina

Did you know that prolonged foreplay actually increases the chances of her coming? That’s right. By kissing, caressing and touching her LONGER, you’ll build the sexual tension and often the anticipation will be very powerful.

Change your focus

If you focus all your attention on the woman first, you’ll make love to her much more passionately. Think about it! If you’ve finished first and decide to help her come, you won’t have the enthusiasm and passion that’s needed to keep her hot and turned on.

Tip to last longer

Of course the first step to help her reach orgasm is by not coming. The best way I’ve found to not come is: Penetrate as normal and when you feel like you’re about to come, simply move your hips in a circular motion (like swaying a hula hoop) and wait until the “little guys” subside again. Now continue pleasuring. 😀

Don’t use lubricants

Women have a natural lubricant that fills the vagina when they’re turned on. By using a product substitute, you’re only fooling yourself. Without products, you’ll instantly know if things are working; but with them, you can never be sure. * Editor’s note: use this tip with caution; we’ve always found lubricants to be helpful.

Never too much clitoris

Did you know that once you’ve stimulated the clitoris for some time, a little thing called the clitoral hood will actually come out and cover the clitoris to protect it from further direct stimulation? (And no, I’m not making this up!) The point is, once the clitoris is fully stimulated, make sure you pleasure the G-spot next, whether it be with your hand, tongue or penis.

Find and stimulate the G spot

The G-spot is a zone that feels like the roof of your mouth and is located about 2 inches inside the vagina on the topside. (On the underside of her stomach.) There are two basic ways you can pleasure the G. With your fingers by doing a “come here” motion or with a love position that helps hit the G-spot…

Use the best position

Not all sex positions are made equal. The best one for women is the reverse missionary (woman on top). This is probably the easiest position for a woman to climax because she can control the friction to her clitoris and/or G-spot.

Give her oral sex

The single best way to help a woman reach orgasm, even multiple orgasms, is by going down on her (cunnilingus). While at first I didn’t believe it, countless studies have been done to prove this fact. Oral sex is easier and much more satisfying for women than intercourse is. Try the ABC’s with your tongue, ask what she likes, and mix it up with lots of different movements! However be VERY careful! With over 6,000 nerve endings in the clitoris, make sure you know everything there is to know before poking your tongue around there, otherwise it could be really painful and, even worse, spoil the mood. So there you have it – 10 tips you can start using right away to give women the most earth-shattering experience of their lives.

Filed Under: Orgasm Tagged With: cunnilingus, female orgasm, foreplay, g spot, oral sex, orgasm, sex tips

5 Ways to Turn Your Bedroom Into a Sex Magnet

By speaksexy

Normally when people decorate their bedroom, they focus on making it a good place to sleep. After all, that’s what it’s for.

But as you probably know, the bedroom is also the number one place couples head to when they want to have sex.

Regardless of whether it’s the first time or the thousandth you’ve seen it, the atmosphere of your bedroom will either add to or detract from your sexual experience.

So making your bedroom into a space that is comfortable, unique, and inviting is one of the easiest and best things you could possibly do for your sex life. This is true for both men and women (though in general women tend to pay more attention to their surroundings during sex than men).

5 Ways to Make Your Bedroom a Sex Magnet

1) You’re a Grown Up – Decorate Like One

You’re not in college, and your bedroom is not in a dormitory! Movie posters plastered to your walls with tape will not impress anyone anymore.

It’s time to decorate like a grown up, and that means getting real furniture (not necessarily expensive furniture, but no blow up chairs either!).

Choose things that reflect your personal style and actually go well together. Coordinate. Pick out colors that make you feel relaxed and sexy.

For some people, bold colors like reds and oranges wake up their senses, as well as their libidos. For others dark, rich colors like chocolate brown and burgundy do the trick.

If you share your bedroom with your lover, be sure to do this part together. You want your bedroom to feel like a little sanctuary away from the rest of the world, away from everything that causes stress in your lives.

It should make you want to open up and connect to each other, especially during difficult times when sex lives become notorious for their vanishing acts!

2) Make Your Bed as Inviting as Possible

Plush comforters, soft pillows, and high-quality sheets will go a long way toward getting you both in bed. Haven’t you ever seen a bed (maybe on display in a store or in a picture) that looked so warm and delicious you just wanted to sink into it and never come out?

That’s how you should feel every time you see your own bed.

It may seem silly at first to splurge on something like Egyptian cotton sheets, but trust me, once your naked self feels how glorious is it to be sandwiched between your warm lover and those silky sheets, you won’t think twice about getting another set or two.

3) Keep it Clean

Even if the rest of your house is a mess and weekly cleanings are a laughable part of your schedule, keep your bedroom tidy for the sake of your sex life.

No one wants to sleep with someone whose room is a disaster – including your own husband or wife.

Not that your bed has to always be wrinkle-free, but there shouldn’t be dirty snack crumbs everywhere and yesterday’s socks on your pillow!

For special occasions, think about how your room smells.

Tuck an oil diffuser into a far corner (not directly beside the bed because the scent will be too strong!) and remember to use it when you’re preparing the room for your lover. Scent can be a huge turn on, and will help give your bedroom that “something extra”.

4) Add a Little Audio-Visual Stimulation

Although most sex advice books claim that putting a television in your bedroom automatically spells “doom and gloom” for your sex life – I disagree.

It all depends on what you decide to watch, and whether or not you watch it together.

Many of these advice books assume that couples watch TV as a way to avoid any real interaction with each other, so putting a television in the bedroom would certainly be the end of what ever sex life they might have otherwise had.

But if couples are actually using TV in this way, then they probably have bigger issues to deal with than whether or not a TV is in their bedroom.

For most couples, however, adding a television and DVD/CD player to their bedroom makes a very nice addition in terms of sex appeal. And if general TV watching is a problem, don’t get that particular TV hooked up to cable!

Instead, save the bedroom TV for watching “special” DVDs. Yes, this could be porn, but it could also be romantic or scary movies too. There are tons of movies that are perfect for getting you both in the mood. Don’t limit yourselves to the obvious ones.

Watch them cuddled up on the bed together, and just let things flow…

5) Make it Sexually Functional

The phrase “Hold on Honey, I have to go find the condoms” should never come out of your mouth – Never.

Everything that you could possibly want for your sexual adventures should be within easy reach of your bed. For this reason, a nightstand with storage space is a must.

Some sexual necessities that should be neatly stashed in one of your bed-side drawers are: condoms (if you use them), lubricant, breath mints, small sex toys (vibes, restraints, etc.), and a roll of toilet paper or tissues for easy clean up.

If you want to go the extra mile, keep a bottle of water in there as well.

Most people are thirsty after a good romp between the sheets, and having water available that doesn’t require a trip to the kitchen is always a welcomed luxury.

Also, the next time you’re in the market for a new bed, consider getting one with built-in drawers underneath. These drawers can be especially useful if you have larger sex toys, such as whips or floggers, that wouldn’t fit in a typical nightstand.

How ever you do it, the point is to make your bedroom a place of comfort and love. Having the “right” decorations and the “right” sheets won’t guarantee a great sex life, but if the potential for sex is already there, a well thought out room might just be the thing that seals the deal.

Filed Under: Foreplay Tagged With: foreplay, have better sex, sex tips

Getting Anal Sex Right – The First Time

By loveandsex

There are a lot of myths and a lot of mis information going around about the very taboo topic of anal sex.

Often times men want it and women SOMETIMES indulge them. But there’s so much more to that.

Our friend Rose from Speak Sexy just posted a great article entitled Getting Anal Sex Right – The First Time. This is a great instructional piece on anal sex, going into all the how-to details.

But be warned… And I’ll quote Rose when she says “This article contains things that may make you feel uncomfortable. It is intended for mature, open-minded adults only.” So only click if you actually want the vivid details. In addition Speak Sexy features various erotic and sometimes nude photos. 🙂

Take a moment to enjoy our recent videos on this beautifully sinful and taboo sexual fantasy…

Do You Know The Hidden Dangers of Anal Sex?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMDDOXDn_8E[/youtube]

Anal Sex – How to Make Her REALLY Want It

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMJjXReFZUo[/youtube]

Help! My Boyfriend Wants Me To Have Anal Sex!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrEnHTxyDQQ[/youtube]

Filed Under: Anal Sex Tagged With: anal sex, analingus, foreplay, personal lubricants, sex tips

Help! My Boyfriend Wants Me To Have Anal Sex!

By loveandsex

Men and women tend to approach sex differently. This isn’t to say that women don’t enjoy or want sex just as much as men, but they don’t tend to go about it the same way. Women tend to prefer more foreplay and seduction.

Couples that are completely open and honest with each other can experience an amazing sex life playing together. This is because they listen to each other, and they discover each other’s fantasies and desires.

They also know that having a great sex life is about more than experiencing amazing orgasms in various positions. It’s about trying and experiencing new things together – truly playing together.

The problem comes in when one partner ups the ante and wants to try something more exotic than their lover is comfortable with.

This can be the woman maybe wanting to tie her lover up, the man wanting to try anal sex with his girlfriend, or hundreds of other exotic sexual permutations.

And since anal sex is such a popular fantasy for so many men, let’s talk about how this desire impacts all the women who are dealing with those men.

Of course, pushing boundaries is often just half the fun for sexual play, so it’s important to peel back those fears and figure out where they started.

So what’s a girl to do when her boyfriend REALLY wants to try anal sex, especially when he tries SO hard to please her?

Here’s a question from a lady in Florida facing this sexual dilemma with her boyfriend…

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I have recently started dating this very great guy. I introduced him to the family, and he got their approval. Usually this does not happen, so I got the green light from my family, and friends, and even random neighbors! Everyone says “you look great together!” Plus I feel very happy around him. He calls me all the time, pays me respect and attention and even has declared that he wants to marry me if I permit it.

Okay, so the problem is this. When we have sex, he is very focused and he puts all of his energy and stamina into it… which lasts a little too long for my taste! Also he is very experimental and wants to satisfy my every request! This is great right?

Well, now he pushed up the stakes and wants to try Anal sex! I don’t want to try it because I read that it is dangerous or bad, and I don’t want to break this taboo. However I have been extremely experimental in the past, but I never tried this. Am I being too prudish or what? How should I maintain a great sex life and relationship with him, but not make him feel rejected or limited in the bedroom?

— Cynthia, Florida

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrEnHTxyDQQ[/youtube]

Why Your Friends and Family Have No Business In Your Sex Life

In addition to taboos in our society, fear of what your friends and family might say is a big deterrent keeping some people from truly broadening out and enjoying a more varied and exotic sex life.

But really, this shouldn’t be an issue. Sex is something private between the two of you – you’re not going to be discussing your latest sexual adventures at you next family dinner – at least if you’re smart. Actually, be sure you don’t. Some people actually talk to their families about their sex lives, and this often results in arguments and fighting. Yes, we’ve very big on open and honest communication, but truly your family has no business knowing or discussing what specifically you do to each other in the bedroom. Nor does anyone else…

Even if at first you’re not comfortable talking openly with your partner about sex (and you’d rather talk with your buddies), this communication is crucial to a happy and fulfilling sex life. So figure out a way to actually talk to each other!

Why Our Culture Has So Many Sexual Taboos…

At the core of it, most of the sexual taboos in our culture originate from hundreds (thousands) of years where one church or another was the law of the land.

Even today there are plenty of people who’ll try to convince you that you can’t do this, shouldn’t do that, and should never do the other since it’s downright evil and immoral. But at the end of the day, what grown adults do in the privacy of their own bedroom is nobody else’s business.

Unless you happen to subscribe to whatever particular religious belief doesn’t tolerate your sexual practices, what they think isn’t really your concern.

Unfortunately, growing up in this environment of taboos, where people are afraid to even talk about the more involved areas of sexuality, results in mass ignorance. People grow up knowing little about sex, and less about safe sex, and even less about the right way to talk about sex.

As popular a fantasy as anal sex is in today’s society, it’s still hard to find someone that will talk about it. People tend to be shocked that you even brought it up. So we definitely have a way to go and evolve as a society, until we can speak openly to one another about topics that today tend to stay behind closed doors.

Should You Try Anal Sex Just to Keep Him From Feeling Rejected?

Well, that’s a tough question. If your man pays you amazing attention and bends over backwards to make sure you’re always “satisfied”, then it certainly wouldn’t hurt to try and reciprocate by at least trying to fulfill his fantasy.

Maybe more importantly though, consider if down deep you may actually want to try it, but haven’t because you were afraid of social stigmas or what others would say.

So, if you want to keep him from feeling rejected, maybe consider trying it.

As an alternative, you could maybe try a limited approach to this, like maybe just a finger, and see how that goes. Having said that, everyone has their limits. If it’s terrible, stop and don’t do it again. It’s that simple.

The only reason to do anything in life is because you want to – not out of obligation to anyone.

Safety and Anal Sex – Why Taking It Slow Is SO Important

If done right and taken slowly, anal sex can be safe, and many women actually like it – once they get over the taboo anyway…

But it’s important to realize that mother nature didn’t intend this to be an ‘in’ hole, so the body does not self lubricate this area. Which means you need to bring your own lubricant, and plenty of it. If you’re not careful, someone could really get hurt.

That area of the body is very sensitive, and it’s very easy to cause injury if you’re not really careful. Aside from not wanting to hurt your partner, do you really want to explain to your family why you guys were at the hospital the other day? So play it safe, and use lots of lubricant.

And most importantly, take it very slow!

Filed Under: Anal Sex Tagged With: anal sex, analingus, foreplay, personal lubricants, sex tips

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