Many women are not having a sex life that is as satisfying as they would like it to be, because their sexual needs are not being met adequately in their relationship.
There are three main reasons that this occurs that both men and women should be aware of that will enable them to help her find more pleasurable sexual experiences.
1. She doesn’t know what those needs are
Sometimes women don’t really understand their own body and how it works. They don’t know what it is that will arouse them or bring them to orgasm.
They may have been brought up to believe it is shameful to explore their body and find out what is pleasurable for them or they don’t understand the necessity. Since she doesn’t know what her sexual needs are, she can’t communicate them to her lover or take the necessary steps to get them met herself.
She knows something is wrong in her sexual adventures, but can’t put her finger on it.
2. He has learned from the wrong sources.
Don’t believe what you hear in the locker room or the standard porn movies. Most men learn about sex from porn movies or from their buddies who are sharing misinformation they learned in porn movies. Traditional skin flicks do not portray realistic situations between people who care about one another.
First of all these types of adult movies are designed for the pleasure of men, not women. So most everything you’re seeing comes from the man’s point of view and what he fantasizes about, not the woman’s.
Contrary to what they teach, having a big penis and thrusting like an Olympic gold medalist is not going to make your woman squeal with multiple orgasms. It’s not likely to bring her to even one orgasm. Additionally, although a woman may allow her man to indulge once in a while, most women do not get off by having semen squirted all over their face.
If you watch standard porn movies, such as Debbie Does Dallas, you need to be aware that what you are watching is for entertainment purposes only. It is not the way things are in reality.
Not only do they portray inaccurate information for pleasuring a woman, but they also cause men to feel inadequate and wonder what’s wrong with them. You need to keep in mind that men in these movies are selectively chosen and are at the extreme end of the male spectrum.
Most men do not have a penis this size and most men do not have this kind of stamina and that is not what a woman is looking for.
In order to learn what a woman really enjoys sexually and have movies that simulate a realistic couple, you need to pick adult videos that were designed for that purpose. Movies made by someone like Candida Royalle are made specifically to be woman and couple friendly.
Additionally you should pick up videos and books that were made by sex experts for the purpose of education. Unfortunately, in our society, no one ever teaches any of us about sex. Most of us learn by trial and error.
With the help of a few high quality instructional videos and books, couples can dispel many sexual myths that may be preventing them from achieving the sexual satisfaction they desire and develop skills that enable them to meet their needs more effectively and become better lovers. Adult sexual education is a powerful tool for both men and women…
3. Lack of communication
Many couples find it very difficult to communicate with one another about their sexual needs or preferences and this is not only a leading contributor to her sexual needs going unmet, but the quality of the relationship overall.
A lot of women are uncomfortable or embarrassed to talk about their sexual needs. Sometimes they are afraid that their lover may perceive them as loose, easy or unlady like. Our society gives women a double message when it comes to sex, on one hand she’s supposed to be a hot little tiger in the sack, yet on the other hand she’s supposed to be pure and virgin like.
This creates an ideal that is impossible to live up to and creates a lot of inner conflict. Women need to know it’s okay to talk openly about what they need and men need to encourage them to do so with a non-judgmental, open and accepting attitude.
Sometimes the problem is that she doesn’t know how to express her needs to her lover. Both partners need to speak openly, directly and honestly.
Couples should be specific and detailed about things like where and how they need touched, how much pressure and speed is needed with each technique and what is the best timing. Share freely information about what techniques and positions are most pleasurable for you.
When something isn’t working or he is not meeting her needs, then she needs to speak up and let her lover know. Don’t suffer in silence.
If saying the words out loud is too uncomfortable, then guide him with your hands. Put his hands, mouth or hips where you need them to be and illustrate. Better yet, show him with your own hands. He’ll not only learn how to satisfy you better, but he’ll also be extremely turned on.
Men, you need to ask your woman what she needs. Don’t assume that everything is okay even if she doesn’t say anything.
Ask her what feels good, check in with her when you’re performing a technique and make sure it’s pleasurable. Ask her specific questions like, does that feel good, do you like to be touched here, is that too soft or too hard, how does that feel.
There is not a one size fits all sexual technique for women. Each woman is unique and what is pleasurable for one woman may not be the case for another woman. Get to know your woman.
Sometimes I hear that women try and tell their lover that they are not as satisfied as they would like to be sexually, but he doesn’t really hear them or they are met with resistance or indifference. He sometimes gets angry, doesn’t take her seriously or dismisses it as not important. He feels threatened or inadequate and becomes defensive.
When this happens, then she shuts down and stops trying, eventually she grows resentful and your whole relationships suffers. If your woman tries to communicate her sexual needs to you, it is not a criticism of you, your manhood or your sexual skill. Don’t take it personally.
She’s trying to teach you about her body and sharing herself with you on the deepest level possible. She’s opening herself up to you and allowing herself to be vulnerable in the most ultimate sense. It is an honor that should be cherished. Take it as an opportunity to grow closer to your woman, enhance your relationship, learn and become a better lover.
To get you started, I’ve compiled a PDF preview copy of