have better sex – Page 41

Why Couples Don’t Have Great Sex…

Sex (especially great sex) is an important piece of a successful romantic relationship. If you’re having amazing sex already, this probably won’t apply to you. But if you’re experience lack-luster sex on a regular basis, I suggest you read on.

Do you know why the majority of couples do not have great sex?

It simply boils down to one mistake.

The number one mistake couples make in the bedroom is…simply not knowing what to do.

That’s right, “Ignorance”.

And let me tell you…

Ignorance is NOT bliss in the bedroom!

What Wise Men Have To Say

Don’t think female orgasm ignorance can harm you? Well, consider the following quotes:

“Ignorance, the root and the stem of every evil.”
— Plato (427 BC – 347 BC)

Cheating can be a result of ignorance on how to give women orgasms.

“It is worse still to be ignorant of your ignorance.”
— Saint Jerome (374 AD – 419 AD)

If you don’t know that you lack the knowledge to give women orgasms, then how can you fix it? Also, she might be faking orgasms on you.

“Ignorance and inconsideration are the two great causes of the ruin of mankind.”
— John Tillotson (1630 – 1694)

…and the ruin of a relationship.

What Sexual Ignorance Means To You

The lack of knowing what to do during sex can be the beginning of a broken relationship. When you’re dating and have a sexual relationship, it can be hot in the beginning, but if that fire is not sustained over time, there will be problems.

For a man, it’s easy to be sexually satisfied. However, the key to great sex lies with the WOMAN being sexually satisfied. In other words, she’ll need to experience female orgasms.

Achieving female orgasms is easy said than done, but if it is not done, it can lead a woman to:

Become sexually frustrated and bored with sex
Fake her orgasms just to “get it over with”
Seek out other men who might have a better chance of pleasing her (in other words, she’ll be inclined to cheat)
Think about breaking up with the man she’s with because she’s unfulfilled in the bed.

This dating-to-dumped domino effect spawns from ignorance. I’m not saying that all relationship end because women do not experience female orgasms. But think about it, if a man doesn’t have an orgasm with his partner, do you think he’ll be happy and stick around?

How to Have Great Sex

To learn how to give women orgasms is a journey in itself. There will be a lot of reading, learning, and trying this out to see if certain techniques work for you. But ultimately, you must make a commitment to yourself to learn how to achieve female orgasms.

If you don’t learn, and decide to “wing it” during sex, well…good luck.

But if you are committed to beat “sexual ignorance”, improve your love life and ultimately keep the relationship you have, check out my free newsletter below.

The Power Of Pre-Sex: 1 Simple (But Powerful) Sex Trick Guaranteed To Make Her Crave Sex All Day Long

By leejenkins

When it comes to having an orgasm, men are like microwave ovens, and women are like crock pots.

To make a meal in a microwave, all you need to do is buy a microwave dinner set, push a few buttons and you can get a complete meal in less than 3 minutes.

On the other hand, women are more like crock pots. You’ll need time to prepare and cook the food slowly. But in the end, the food will probably taste a lot better (and be healthier!) than what you can do in the microwave.

My point is: compared to men (and microwave ovens), women, just like cooking with a crock pot, need more preparation & cooking time to get the desired result. In other words, women generally need more foreplay in order to have an orgasm. Most people think in terms of physical foreplay as a prerequisite before having sex.

But let me tell you: the most powerful form of foreplay comes hours before any sort of physical contact. That foreplay is psychological foreplay.

What I’m about to teach you is a quick and easy way to plant of a seed of sexual desire in her mind. This pre-sex tip will get her hot and bothered, thinking of being with you throughout the day!

Before we jump into details, let me warn you: This tip works best if you’re already in an established relationship. If you’ve only started dating a girl, save this technique for later.

The Pre-Sex Text Message Technique

In the morning, while she’s at work, send her a text message. Here’s an example:

“Hi honey – I can’t stop thinking about making love with you later today”.

I know it sounds cheesy, but believe me, it works!

TIP: If you write something more specific (and explicit), this could have a better effect.

The reason why this works is that this message will get her brain thinking of what you wrote throughout the day. It becomes a virus in her mind and every time she thinks about it, she’ll be excited. Even if she tells herself not to think about sex with you because she’s at work, it will backfire and think about it MORE.

You’ll be setting the mood ahead, and make her crazy with anticipation about what’s going to happen later on tonight.

She’ll realize that you are thinking of her, and showing your enthusiasm (in a polite way that is flattering) will only get her more excited. In fact, she could be having a bad day, but once she gets that text message, she’s going to think “someone is thinking of me, and they can’t wait to touch my body!”

If you do this right, what you wrote in the pre-sex text message will be the prevalent thought in her head throughout the rest of her day. She’ll be thinking of you and the how you want to please her in bed…and the fact that it will happen later on that night!

But don’t take my word for it. Try it out for yourself!

Now That She’s Psychologically Aroused, What Next?

Well, now that you’ve got her ready for a night of lovemaking, you don’t want to let her down by not being able to give her orgasms in bed. You want to keep your momentum going and make sure you have an arsenal of lovemaking techniques at your fingertips. Check out my free newsletter below and learn exclusive tips and techniques to give your girl orgasms.

3 Mistakes Men Make That Causes Women To NOT Have Sex With Them Ever Again!

By leejenkins

So you thought it went really well. You lavished her attention and ensured she reached her climax first before you did. So why doesn’t she want to ‘hook up’ with you again? Chances are, you committed one of the three mistakes that most men do after having sex.

While men are often only concerned about what occurs DURING sex, women are bit more complicated; they also put attention (A LOT of attention) on what occurs after sex.

If you’ve never really picked up on this before, then chances are you’ve committed one of the following mistakes.

After-Sex Mistake #1: Rolling over after reaching an orgasm and going to sleep.

You may think that this is ‘natural.’ After all, didn’t you just have a long day at work and didn’t you just cater to fulfilling her sexual needs first before yours? But to your partner, dozing off right away means only one thing: insensitivity.

In fact, most women will think this way, “now that he’s had his way with me, he’s done and just wants to sleep!”.

So how do you handle this situation especially when you are really sleepy after sex? Simply snuggle up to her and cuddle up a bit. You can stroke her hair too. (Better actually, as this may make HER sleepy!).

After-Sex Mistake #2: Jumping out of bed and doing something else.

If sleeping immediately after sex shows you’re insensitive, jumping out of bed and putting all your attention into doing something else (e.g., work!) means you’re a real jerk to her.

For yourself, you may just feel so energized after cumming that you want to do other things, but to her jumping out of bed right after sex indicates that the time you two had was irrelevant. It wasn’t lovemaking; it was just sex.

So how do you handle this situation especially when you are really NEED to do something? Just stay a bit longer in bed. A couple more minutes surely won’t kill you! You can simply embrace her and be quiet, or cuddle and (for me the better option) start to slowly mention that darn! you forgot to do something and now you have to get up now and do it. Do this grudgingly!

After-Sex Mistake #3: Reaching for the remote, turning on the TV, and forgetting she’s beside you.

You can’t fake intimacy. Does this mean you can’t ever turn on the TV after having sex? Of course not! In fact, SHE may even want to catch something on TV herself.

But the thing is, don’t break contact. You can just as easily reach for the remote while ensuring that you’re still embracing her, right? Further, a simple question of “do you mind?” can go a long way than simply ignoring her and watching TV!

Just don’t forget to include her. Ask her if she wants to see something too or ask for her comment on what you’re watching. Anything that signifies you haven’t forgotten that she’s beside you is good.

The Secret Cure For A Dwindling Sex Life

By melody

One Christmas a girlfriend of mine handed out packages to our little group of friends. One by one my friends opened their packages containing beautiful flannel pajamas from Neiman’s with high-healed shoes all over them.

But my package didn’t contain pajamas. Mine contained a book and some toiletries. Embarrassed, my friend said, “Well, I know you sleep naked, so I had to think of something else!” I just laughed.

This particular woman has had marital difficulties as long as I have known her. Somehow she and her husband managed to have a child; I don’t really know how they did I considering they almost never have sex. The other women have modest sex lives, I’m sure.

Sleeping naked has many rewards

What I know for sure is that they don’t have as rewarding and active a sex life as they could if they are wearing pajamas to bed!

Wearing your birthday suit to bed offers many rewards. Not the least of which is that it makes sex a lot more likely to happen. Here is my list of the advantages of sleeping naked with your partner:

Increased oxytocin. Oxytocin is a hormone released with skin-to-skin contact. Touching skin-to-skin from head to toe all night long provides us with a steady stream of this beneficial hormone. Some of the benefits of oxytocin are: increased sense of well-being; decreased heart rate; and reduction of stress hormones, increased sense of trust, and…. Drum roll…. Sexual arousal!
Getting into “the mood” for sex is hard for women. We tend to stay in our heads and worry about being tired, or that the kids will hear, or whatever we are stressing about that day. This does not put us in the mood for sexual contact; in fact it tends to make us feel more alone and isolated. Many women will simply answer “Not tonight, dear” if asked if they want to have sex just because they have too much going on in their heads. Getting skin-to-skin stimulates sexual feelings no matter whom you are or what is going on in your head.
One of the strongest detriments for having sex is a sense of disconnect between the couple. When we feel disconnected from our partner, we lose a sense of desire for them. This is why good communication that involves respect and empathy helps us to feel more sexual toward each other. Sleep naked breaks down those psychological barriers.
Sleeping skin-to-skin increases our sense of bonding. Think about it, when you are first dating you can’t keep your hands off each other can you? When you have a baby you can’t keep your hands off of them either. Bonding increases with skin-to-skin contact.

You will have sex more often. Being close and naked makes it a lot easier to move into being sexual together.

Before you protest too much…

Okay, okay, I know what you are going to say, “I can’t sleep without clothes on!” Anytime you change a routine it takes time to adjust. Your body is just used to your sleeping with clothing touching its skin. It will get used to being naked, eventually.

My entire life I had slept on my side curled up in the fetal position. There are pictures of me like this as a child. Yet when I had shoulder surgery I could not sleep that way. I was forced to learn to sleep on my back. It was hard the first couple of nights, but I got used to it. You’ll get used to sleeping naked, too.

Now the other argument I hear is that you’d be too cold. Well, if you are cold, get an electric blanket!

Excuses, excuses

All of these seem like excuses to me. If you don’t want to have sex more often that’s a sign of needing help. We are programmed through biology to want to be sexual. If something is interfering with that desire you need to check it out.

Make sure there is not something physical going on (it could be hormones). Then get yourself to a psychologist to find out what is blocking your desire. It could be problems in the marriage or it could be problems from your past, but it’s not natural to not want to be sexual with your partner.

The benefits of sleeping nude

Even Dr. Oz stated he is a proponent of couples sleeping naked. A month or two ago he appeared on Oprah and told the world that if you want to increase your sex life, thereby increasing your overall health, you should sleep naked.

Having more sex has many health benefits and increases the chances of your marriage lasting. Okay, I am not talking marathon sex here; I am also not talking having sex five times a day, once or twice a day can do wonders. Having sex at least once a day increases our general health and well-being.

Spending half an hour a day in the most enjoyable and healthy exercise you can partake you will live longer, feel more satisfied with your life, and be healthier. Not to mention it will do increase the odds of your marriage living as long as you do!

How Your Actions Outside The Bedroom Can Make or Break Your Sex Life

By melody

I have a little experience with bad sex. I’ve been married three times. This last one took. To tell you the truth my first two husbands would say my current husband was lying if he told them how often and how amazing our sex life is.

Honestly, I have been one of those fortunate women who have always enjoyed good sex. That doesn’t mean I have always said “Yes!” to it when my first husbands wanted me to do so.

Sex happens, not so much in our bodies, as in our minds. Before we can find someone sexy there are a number of things that have to happen in our brain. First of all, the prospect has to fit the patterns our unconscious set into place before we were six years old. Those patterns are based on our experiences as a young person with our caregivers. For some of us, that is a good thing and we meet up with really wonderful partners.

But for most of us this unconscious pattern locked into our brain is not necessarily in our best interest in the long run.

How It Works

My first husband was really smart, something I consciously found very appealing. But he also had some wounds of his own that resulted in his attempting to overpower me with his yelling and demands. This, it turns out (after much therapy), is how my grandmother acted toward most everyone in her household. I happened to be in her household much of my life prior to the age of six. Yelling and demanding behavior have an unwanted side effect on a persons sex life. It didn’t take long for this behavior to become a major turn off for me.

What transpired is that my survival instincts kicked in (this is a brain function, by the way) and I would freeze up in his presence after a while. My whole body went into shut down and the last thing I wanted was to jump into the sack with him. My brain made the decision for me.

My second husband appealed to me consciously because he was handsome and an entrepreneur like my Dad. The unconscious appeal turned out to be that, because of his wounds, he would totally neglect me and ignore my needs the way my father did. My resentment built up over time and there is no way I would choose to have sex him. My brain kicked into survival with him simply because it seemed to me that he was not someone safe in that he did not have my best interests at heart: only his.

It’s All in Your Head

Our brains dictate our behavior much more than we consciously realize. We can feel an unconscious pull toward someone and think this means we want to be sexual with them; this is why we will be so attracted to “bad girls” or “bad boys”. They appeal to the part of us that was hurt and neglected as a kid and it matches up like a lock and key with our unconscious memories of before we were six. We are wired to want the kind of relationship we had with our caregivers. I don’t know about you, but this was not a good thing for me!

So what if you find yourself already hooked up with someone whom your brain is now telling you to retreat from rather than gravitate toward sex with? Well, you have to make some choices with the more rational part of your brain. Is this someone with whom you want to make a life with? If so then you have to figure out how to change the dynamic that is making you not want to have sex with them.

Talk, talk, talk

First of all you need to open a discussion with this person about the things making you feel threatened or shut down. This, of course, is not an easy discussion to have with them because they will immediately feel threatened just by bringing up the idea of your having a problem with them.

So, you have to start with telling them how much you love them and want to work things out. Secondly, begin to talk about your feelings as being about you and your history, not about them being “bad” or “wrong” for behaving the way they do. After all, they act the way they do because of their history and family culture.

When you can open a discussion about how their behavior outside the bedroom is affecting your desire for good sex, then there is hope for things to change. Most of the time, if you want more sex, chances are, they do, too.

If your partner doesn’t want more sex, then you can be certain there is something in your behavior that has triggered an unwanted fear or shutting down response from them. The solution to the problem is to talk about what it is your partner needs to feel safe with you again. Find out what you are doing and see if it is something you can consciously choose to change. Get help and support if you need to, to change those behaviors. A relationship coach or therapist could be the key.

To learn more about Melody Brooke, visit OhWowThisChangesEverything.com.