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How To Tell If Your Man Is Lying

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Relationship advice is important to have if you suspect your significant other isn’t being honest with you. Here’s how to know if they’re lying.

Something’s fishy, and not in good way. You think your partner isn’t being truthful, but you’re not sure, and you want to be. How do you tell if you guy is on the up and up or a dirty no good dog?

What She Said:

Guys get such a bad reputation for being liars and they fit the stereotype. Lots of men lie, but those same men are really terrible at it. If you are quick and pay attention, you can totally tell if your guy is lying to you. When you ask your guy a question and before he answers he hesitates, he’s probably lying.

That hesitation is him figuring out what the right thing is to say, instead of telling you the truth. Also when a guy is lying about something, he’ll put too much emphasis on what he says, and he’ll add too much detail. Lets say you asked him what he did last Saturday night. If he answers with lots of details, time, place, who he was with, what they drank/ate and he repeats his same story over and over again, there is a good chance he is lying. Guys are simple and not detailed like women, they can usually answer your questions in 3-4 words. Don’t believe me? Look at any text message you have gotten from a guy, I bet his responses to you are short and few words.

Now, if he is lying and trying to cover his tracks, he will have taken time to iron out details and make sure you know those details so it seems like it was the truth. So pay attention to him, not the details but in how many details he is giving you. That’s a sure sign that he is trying to save his ass. A man with nothing to hide will be able to simply answer your questions and move on to something else, like sports or beer.

What He Said:

My apologies to Ms. Johnny Cochran over there, but I think she’s on smack. You can’t automatically say that just because he gives you details he’s lying. Some people are detail oriented. Some aren’t. Some may be visual and can remember things well, others not so much. If the story is consistent, that’s probably a good thing. It’s when you ask the questions and the story changes or if he struggles to explain inconsistencies, that’s probably not good. Too many details can be a problem, that’s true. He probably won’t remember everything, you should probably hear “I don’t know” once or twice.

You, if you’re getting the truth, should hear direct answers, yes or no. If the conversation starts to sound like an oil executive testifying at a congressional hearing, then well, that’s not good. Also, demeanor and body language are important. Is he relaxed? Breathing heavily? Showing signs of confusion, frustration or fatigue?

He’s not going to like the whole interrogation thing, but if he’s anything other than relaxed and calm, you might feel your spidey sense tingling. Unless of course, he’s an actor, attorney, serial killer, used car salesman or elected official. Those people are trained liars and get off on doing so. You shouldn’t be having sex with them anyway. What is wrong with you woman? Seriously? Have you no taste? No sense of self worth? Why are you letting them pet the kitty? Aren’t there other people who aren’t professional douchebags who want to get naughty with you? Can’t you be attracted to them? No? You want guys who treat you like crap? Oh, okay. Who am I to judge?

Anyways…

You probably know your man pretty well. Or at least you should. So you should have a feel right away for whether or not he’s telling the truth. And at the end of the day, you don’t have to wonder about it. He will reveal himself. A persons actions do not lie, even though they may. Just wait, be patient. In time you will have the answers, whether you want them or not is another story.

Do you really want to know what he’s thinking or where he was last night? What will finding out do for you? It’s always good to make sure you really want to know. Sometimes when you find out that you would really rather not know. But you can’t go back once you do, so don’t ask unless it’s something you are prepared for. Sounds ominous, doesn’t it?

How To Tell If He Really Loves You

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Love isn’t fickle – it’s strong and it’s obvious. But some girls just don’t get it. Here is how to tell if your man is in love with you or not.

You love him. But does he love you? It’s a simple question with a complicated answer. How do you know? What’s love as opposed to lust?

What She Said:

The phrase, “I love you” doesn’t have to be said to know your man loves you. And love is different for every couple but there will be a moment when he’ll do something or say something that knocks you in the gut and lets you know he truly loves you. This goes beyond buying you gifts or spending money on you.

This is all about him doing something small and showing you he really cares about you. He can show you by the way he treats you. If a man really cares about you, he’ll find everything you do or say to be adorable. Maybe you pronounce a word wrong, or are bad at telling jokes or sound funny when you sneeze. Whatever your quirk is, he will find it enduring and amazing. It’s the things about you that make you unique that he find charming and sexy.

When you realize he finds your habits and quirks adorable, you might just realize that this man truly loves you. Another sign that he loves you is in the way he talks about you in public. Do you have mutual friends that always tell you your guy was praising you or talking about your accomplishments? That’s a sign that he is proud of you, proud to date you and loves you. Another tip off is how he treats you when you are sick.

If a man will hold your hair while you toss your cookies in a toliet, or bring you tea or soup when you are bed ridden with Scarlett-Malaria-Mad-Cow Disease, that’s a sure sign he loves you. When a man loves a woman, he cherishes her and supports her and wants to help her. A man who loves a woman will think she is the most beautiful woman and he will always see her in the best light. Even when that light is early morning after a late night and you didn’t remove your makeup. If your guy finds you beautiful and irresistible in all your ways, he really loves you.

What He Said:

You have dealbreakers. We all do. Something about you is a deal breaker for someone else. Except someone in love with you. For him, nothing else matters. He can keep his hands off you, but neither of you want that. He’s as turned on by you when you’re naked as you aren’t. He shows you off to his friends. The relationship just works. No drama. He’s okay with you wearing comfortable underwear around him. He’s seen you with no makeup on and still thinks you’re hot. He’s met your family and hasn’t gone into the witness relocation program.

If he’s seen you naked, physically, it’s one thing. But seeing you naked emotionally, that’s huge. If he’s seen you stripped emotionally bare and is still there. That’s a big sign he loves you. He will kill spiders for you and sits through chick flicks. He wants to do this. Because you like them and he wants to make you happy.

It’s important to note that I’m talking about actions here. Many guys aren’t comfortable with emotions and many of their friends will give them shit if they express that. It’s okay to bitch about your wife, but not tell everyone how great she is and how much you love her, etc. That will get you cockpunched. Not fair, I admit, but it is what it is. More often than not a man will show his love to you. You have to pay attention.

It may not be expressed in flowers, but practical ways like buying you new tires. Why would he do that? Because he doesn’t want you to die in a car accident. Romantic? In his own way it is. Be patient, he will warm up to the verbal message you crave. Drop hints. Say “I love you” first. That may free him up to say it.

You probably already know if he loves you or not. Does he take care of you when you’re sick? Is he nice to you when he knows he’s not going to get laid? Things like this are important. No guy who’s just trying to get a blowjob from you or maybe a little anal sex will do that. If he’s just in it for the sex, then he’s probably going to treat you like crap when you’re not…well, having sex. He may avoid you, or ask to have sex all the time. If he really cares about you, he’s going to dig spending time with you no matter what you’re doing.

Is Your Relationship Ready For Marriage?

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Marriage is a huge step, and it’s definitely not something to rush into. How can you tell if the relationship you are in is marriage material?

“Going to Fiji is not marriage, going to Costco is marriage” – Kelly Ripa.

You know you’re ready to marry someone if you are willing to endure the Hell on Earth that is shopping at Costco with that person. Seeing your significant other at Costco means seeing them at their worst: they will be angry, cranky, hungry, sleepy, annoyed, childish, and pissed off. They will try and convince you that you “need” to by industrial size quantities of some food that they know you hate (which they of course love), and you will be subjected to the sight of humanity at its fear based worst.

If you can make it out of there alive (without spending yourself stupid or killing each other), then you should probably get married. If you can go there and be so in love that you forget you’re in Hell (and by Hell I mean Costco) and not be bothered by this, then by all means run like hell to the altar.

Do You Like Them With Their Clothes On?

Sure, everyone’s tons of fun when they’re naked and doing naughty things you. And lots of sex happens when you are dating, often because you two have different homes and can get the hell away from the other. A relationship is one thing, marriage is different, because you’re always there with each other. Generally speaking, your spouse should be as much fun with their clothes on as they are with them off.

How Lucky Do You Feel?

When you’re around this person do you feel like you hit the lottery? Do they make you giddy like a school girl? Get lots of goosebumps? Then marriage is definitely in order. If you don’t, you may not want to walk down the aisle. Romance ebbs and flows but if you’re not feeling super lucky to be with them, then it’s a red flag.

How Easy Is It?

They say relationships are hard work. That’s not true. BAD relationships are work. Good relationships aren’t. If your relationship is easy like Sunday morning, then it’s time to start thinking about walking down the aisle. People love to say relationships take work. They don’t. Relationships are like a car. The vast majority of people reading this don’t know anything about brakes, shocks, struts and all the other car parts you can’t pronounce. Does that stop you from owning and operating a car? No. You don’t need to do work on your car. You just need to do maintenance.

All you really need to do is get it washed regularly, get the oil changed, and get tires every so often. That’s not doing work on your car. You put gas in the tank and turn the key. It goes or it doesn’t. If you don’t do maintenance, you’re an idiot, but you’re going under the hood either. The best marriages in my estimation are the easiest. The more work you’re doing the more problems you have by default. Sure there will be ups and downs, but too much time under the hood usually means it’s time to trade in for a different make and model.

Are You On The Same Page?

Opposites attract, but they don’t marry. If you are super frugal and your partner spends like a drunken sailor, do you really expect it to work long term? Movies always love to talk about the uptight, type A girl and the slacker/hippie type who steals her heart. That works in movies, but in real live they hook up or date but they don’t marry. Or if they do, they’re miserable. Why? Because she is who she is and he is who he is.

The more alike you are, the more you’re going to stay together, because common ground is required to build the foundation upon which the house that is your marriage is built on. The house is built on the foundation and the foundation is designed to fit the house exactly. They don’t say “well, it kind of fits, but we’ll work around it.” No construction foreman has ever looked at a foundation and said “well, I know that’s how it is now, but I’m sure it’ll change down the road.”

You’re two different people with different experiences and view points, so disagreements are inevitable, but you should be arguing because you both want to do the same thing, you just differ on how to do it. If you have the opposite problem, maybe you should just keep dating.

Is Monogamy Overrated?

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Monogamy seems to be the popular choice for couples in long term relationships – but is it necessary? Can you have a satisfying relationship without it?

What Other Relationship Options Are There?

You can’t argue that monogamy isn’t exactly the one size fits all relationship type we were taught growing up. Don’t believe me? Just hit the internet! It seems like there are all kinds of relationships out there (open relationships, swingers, polyamorists, just to name a few) and they all seem sexier than monogamy and they’re getting way better press too.

Is It Still Sexy?

Religious organizations will argue that monogamy is under attack. Really? I didn’t know swingers were breaking into people’s homes and making them have sex with other people. While monogamy isn’t exactly under attack, it’s kind of lost its luster. It’s about as sexy as flossing or paying your taxes on time. Sure, there’s something to be said for it, but there’s a good chance that something will put you to sleep.

That doesn’t make monogamy overrated, any more than a gun in and of itself is a bad thing. It depends on the application and the situation. If you go on a date and your date pulls out a hand gun, it’s probably not a good night for you. If a burglar is breaking into your home and you call the cops and all they do is try and put the bad guy on “time out” you’ll be wishing he/she was packing heat (get your mind out of the gutter people!).

It’s Hard Work

Monogamy isn’t what we thought it was. It’s not like you get in a monogamous relationship and then that’s it. Since you’re not having intercourse with other people by design, you have to work to maintain the spark, probably a lot harder than non-monogamous people, because they have the benefit of the spark that comes with being with and being desired by other people.

It’s Also Safer

Then again, monogamy, by default, may not be sexy, but it is safer. Since you’re aren’t fucking other people (as long as there is no infidelity) then you don’t have to worry about AIDS, herpes or any of those STD’s that scare the shit out people who are fucking around. You don’t need to wear condoms, if you’re not screwing other people and since you know you’re both clean and safe, you can do all kinds of crazy sex, wild intercourse, anal sex and whatever else you like with a clean conscience (and clean health record).

That can make monogamy seem a bit more appetizing. If variety is the spice of life, then monogamy is like eating your vegetables. People who practice non monogamy (I wonder if they ever got it right yet) will argue that monogamy is dead and that it can’t work and that it will always end with infidelity or a sexless marriage. That’s crazy. It’s statistically impossible that all monogamous relationships end up like that. Some of them have to be really great. Some married people have to be fucking more than porn stars, right? It’s just simple numbers.

Decide For Yourself What Is Best For You

Monogamy seems overrated largely because we get such a bad view on it. Sex sells and if it bleeds it’s news. Fear sells. No one is going to buy a copy of People Magazine to find out about the happily married celebrity couple that have been monogamous for years, have amazing sex and fall more in love every day. You just don’t hear about that. You know why? It’s nothing compared to the crazy coke head celebrities who go off and have sex with the poolboy all while living in an apartment.

Monogamy is what you make of it, assuming you decide to make something of it in the first place. You may not want to. That’s cool too. If you are into it, great! If you’re not, that’s great too. Just keep your mouth shut to the people who don’t share your view point. You can’t change them and just because monogamy (or non monogamy) doesn’t work for you doesn’t mean it doesn’t work for them. Monogamy isn’t overrated or underrated. That’s like saying Spicy Brown mustard is over rated or underrated. It’s mustard people. That’s it. You put it on your hot dog, if you like it on your dog, and if you don’t well, you don’t.

It’s really that simple. Monogamy is what it is. It’s not good or bad, it just means you don’t mess around. Well, with anyone other than your husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend. It’s not rocket science. If it works, it works. If it doesn’t it doesn’t. If your relationship ends it’s not monogamy’s fault. It’s yours.

Is Your Relationship The Real Deal?

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Relationship advice is crucial if you want to find out if your partnership is on the right track. Have you actually found the one this time? Here’s how to know!

So you’re a girl. Who met a boy. And you “know” he’s the one. This time you mean it! Seriously though, new relationships are highly intoxicating. Puppy love and love feel eerily similar. Sooner or later, we’re all bound to fall in love. But how do you tell which is which? Is he really Mr. Right, or is he just a practice relationship?

What She Said:

At one point or another all women have dreamed of their perfect wedding. We imagined the dress, the flowers and the perfect man. But how do you know if the guy you are dating is Mr. Right? Most importantly, do you want him to be? Just having to ask yourself if he is Mr. Right is a red flag. And is cause to be alarmed. If you felt like he was Mr. Right, no article that you read or advice column is going to tell you. You will know it. But, since love is different for everyone, it might be hard to really know so you need to ask your heart and your gut some questions.

Does he support you emotionally, physically and spiritually? Do you want nothing more than to make him happy? Does he make you feel supported and safe? Is there still a spark between the two of you? When he walks into a room, does your face light up? These things sound super cliché, but there is so much truth to them. Another gut question to ask yourself is, his annoyance factor. In other words, does your man now do some of the things that your ex used to do that annoyed you but these things do not annoy you with your new guy? You might just have yourself a Mr. Right.

The last super major gut question to ask yourself is what would your life be without him? If a life without him makes you feel lost that’s a sure sign he is your Mr. Right. Again, these are just some questions to ask yourself, you know what you feel. Listen to your gut.

What He Said:

As the wise Chris Rock once said, “Love is like bread. You gotta love the crust. You can’t just love the white part of the bread. Everyone loves that part. It’s the crust. If you don’t love that, you don’t love him.”

Being a woman in love with a man means sooner or later he is going to do some stupid shit to piss you off. Is your love strong enough to put up with that? Your love can’t be based on his abs or sex or any one thing. All those things are important, of course, but they will ebb and flow over time.

For a man, relationships are about finding a level of insanity you can put up with. Don’t think you’re crazy? You have a vagina, don’t you? I’m not saying it’s wrong your crazy, but make sure Mr. Right knows how crazy you are and loves you anyway. If he’s seen you at your worst, and he still returns your calls, that’s pretty significant.

You can live without everything and anything except protein and water. So saying “I can’t live without him” is a lie. You can. But do you want to? That’s a better question. If you can and don’t want to, then you’re on to something.

Goosebumps are something he should always give you as well as effort. He shouldn’t stop doing the things he did to get you after he has gotten you. Women like that stuff. It’s important to you and he should know this and be willing to do this stuff for you, even if he doesn’t want to. Love is doing things you know you hate because he/she likes to do them. If he’s willing to do that for you, and he’s coachable on other stuff, like the love-making, then you’re really on to something.

If you’re asking yourself too many questions about him and where this is going, that’s probably not good. It’s good to be sure, and don’t go into anything blindly, but if you’re devoting tons and tons of energy to analyzing the relationship and wondering if he can pass a background check then, well, maybe it’s a “not so much” type answer to the “Is he Mr. Right?” question.