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You are here: Home / Archives for orgasm

What To Talk About After Sex

By loveandsex

Sex is a wonderful thing, but afterwards can be a little awkward if you don’t know what to talk about. Here are some tips for after sex discussions.

Ok, semen’s out. Now what?

The world doesn’t end when you orgasm, there is a continuing, social, person-to-person interaction after intercourse. That intimacy bubble doesn’t burst when you ejaculate. This may not be evident in one-shot deals where you’ll probably never see each other again, but it becomes very obvious in long-term relationships.

What Is After Sex Talk?

Afterplay talk is very similar to boy-girl date conversation, the only difference is that you don’t talk crap just to get into her pants because you’ve been there and done her. It’s one of pure communication as the only motive is to bond with your partner – and have fun while at it. The ability to converse and temporarily forego sleep separates great lovers from men who roll over and go to sleep after barely slipping the condom off their shiny penises.

Being awake post-coitus is one of the marks of a guy who gets laid regularly, who doesn’t resort to typical begging. He knows that afterplay is the most important bridge to the next sack session. For one cannot keep ignoring a woman’s need for post-ejaculation companionship.

If you constantly make her feel she’s just good for the sex, over time, she’ll wise up and realize she has something you want – and if you don’t treat her any better, you’ll experience a shortage of it – a sort of what goes around comes around situation.

Do You Have To Talk After Sex?

Sure, there is no law compelling you to engage in afterplay conversations, you can always doze the night/afternoon away. But sooner or later, you’ll wake up, and soon, you’ll have boners and you’ll have the hots for her again. What I’m saying is that in terms of relationships, this is an investment worth your effort. I will not explain why this is, I hope you are insightful enough to realize that this matters to women and not to miss the fact that you have as much to gain.

What NOT To Discuss

Except for a few landmines, you can talk about virtually anything under the sun. Talk about your most intimate secrets for all I care, although simpler topics are better. Talk about the ingredients of your version of the World’s Perfect Sandwich. Anything!

Don’t turn it into a serious, drawn-out discussion, do it in the spirit of fun. Be unthreatening, playful, and don’t make a big deal out of it.

But no guy talk. Guys can yak away about their passions not knowing they’re slowly lullabying the woman to sleep. Conversations involving engines, radiators and hydraulics should be saved for your car mechanic on poker nights. Same thing goes for guns, the playoffs and RPGs. All she’ll really hear is “Blah blah, bablahblablah.” Imagine her talking about lip gloss, concealers and asking for your personal philosophy on make-up. How can you engage? You can listen to death, but all you’ll really hear is “Blah blah blah, bablah,blabla… and that’s why I need your credit card this Sunday.”

Veer off negative topics like death, accidents, failures and disappointments. Stay away from stuff that caused friction in the past (eg. bills, ex’s, in-laws, nagging). They’re anti-climactic. Why would you stop a great aura with a lousy remark about how you absolutely abhor her friends?

Spiral up, don’t start digging holes.

What You SHOULD Talk About

Talk to her vanity instead. Talk her up. Comment on her sexual prowess, make her feel so good about herself she’ll want to do you again and again. (This is one way of starting a sexual addiction.)

In addition to talking about simple, fun stuff, the couple can also discuss the SEX and further refine the experience. Unless you engage your lady in open, honest sexual conversation, she’ll try giving you an orgasm with the often frustrating trial and error method. Simply telling her what you want saves time and a whole lot of errors. She may not instantly become an expert, but she’ll get on with the program and improve steadily.

During the heat of passion, one doesn’t have the luxury to plug in a projector, use a laser pointer, and graphically illustrate the moves. So one simply howls, ‘to the left’ or ‘more! After sex, you actually have the luxury of gathering your thoughts, choosing your words and belting out a speech. It’s an opportunity to communicate clearly and precisely.

SO, TELL HER WHAT YOU WANT! (She’d appreciate it.)

Not being able to specifically pin down your desires is an entirely different thing. Honestly, have you ever spared a second to think about the kind of sex that you want? If not, then no wonder you can’t communicate them to a woman, and no wonder you’re not getting it from her!

Still, many don’t sound-off because of fear. It’s that timeless fear of rejection, the embarrassment of being said “NO” to, the sting of being laughed at and told, “You want that?! You sicko!” Add to that the anxiety of telling your woman that she actually sucks at a technique she prides herself in, like a blowjob.

These fears will always exist. And there’s eerie comfort in knowing that many guys experience them.

The most effective way of dealing with such is not by explaining them away or denying their existence, it’s by learning exactly what to do.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: better sex, orgasm, sex, sex tips

5 Stages Of Female Orgasm

By loveandsex

The female orgasm is quite different from the male’s. Here’s the female orgasm broken down stage by stage.

The famous sex researchers, William Masters and Virginia Johnson, were the first to outline the four stages of sexual response in human beings. These stages apply to both men and women, but each gender experiences the stages differently. Men typically race through the stages faster than women do. But in some situations, women may be ready for orgasm much faster than a man.

Let’s take a look at each of the stages as they occur in women and how to know when your partner is ready for the next stage.

Female Orgasm Stage 1 – Excitement

This is one of the easiest stages to reach for both men and women. Just smelling your cologne or having your hand brush against her breasts can excite a woman. She can become excited by fantasizing about sexual encounters or by flirting with you during dinner. In fact, during the average date, women may become excited ten to fifteen times. Most of those times do not lead to the next level, however. The female body responds to this stage in very specific ways.

Let’s go through some of those physical signs of excitement:

  • Her nipples become erect.
  • Her vagina starts becoming lubricated.
  • Her clitoris begins to swell and grow larger.
  • The inner parts of her vagina begin to expand.
  • Her breasts may even increase in size if she becomes highly aroused.

These are not the only physical signs, but these are probably the ones you or her may notice. Notice that during this early stage, her vagina is already becoming lubricated. Many men have the mistaken notion that this is a sign that a woman is ready to engage in intercourse. That is not the case. A lubricated vagina only means a woman is aroused. All of these signs do suggest, however, that her body is preparing for the possibility of sex.

Female Orgasm Stage 2 – Plateau

This second stage does not occur as frequently as the arousal or excitement stage. In fact, most incidents of arousal never reach this level. So when does a woman reach this level? Well, she will require more physical stimulation. Foreplay, for example, will help her move to this stage, so does increased fantasizing. During this stage, sexual tension inside her body is growing. More physical signs also accompany this stage.

A few of those signs are listed below:

  • Breasts may increase noticeably in size.
  • The vagina swells and the vaginal opening begins to narrow.
  • The clitoris becomes more erect.
  • Her heartbeat may increase noticeably.
  • The color of the labia minora will change from pink to either red or wine in color.

This final physical sign is very important. Researchers have found that if the color change does not occur, then women rarely have a female orgasm. About one-half to three-fourths of women also experience what is termed a “sex flush” on parts of their body. The increased blood flow to the skin sometimes gives the appearance of a flush over the chest or other parts of the body.

During the plateau stage, the woman’s body is becoming ready for intercourse. Only near the end of this stage is she physically ready for vaginal intercourse.

Female Orgasm Stage 3 – Climax

All of those women who fake female orgasm end up continually jumping from the second to the fourth stage of sexual response. After her body is truly ready for intercourse and if she is receiving the proper stimulation – usually clitoral – then it does not take long for her to reach the third stage.

Below are some of the physical effects your partner will experience during this stage. Some of these should be noticeable by you and a couple are impossible for her to fake, so if you really want to know whether you are making her climax or not, pay attention to the physical signs.

  • Muscle contractions: Intense muscle contractions through the pelvic area will occur during the orgasm. A woman can have three to fifteen of these contractions depending on the strength of her orgasm. She may also experience muscle contractions in other parts of the body as well.
  • Most women’s bodies become temporarily rigid at the highest point of their orgasm. This lasts for only a moment, but its something you may notice.
  • The “sex flush” is another indicator of female orgasm. At this stage, it becomes brighter and more noticeable. It may also have spread to other areas of her body.
  • Another telltale sign of orgasm in some women is ejaculation. Some women do ejaculate after a female orgasm.

Female Orgasm Stage 4 – Resolution

This is an interesting stage because what happens during it depends on what did not happen before or what is continuing to happen. For example, if a woman successfully completes stage 3, then she may be able to have multiple orgasms. However, if she fails to have an orgasm, then her body will begin to return to normal, but at a slower rate than if she had climaxed first. Many women actually report physical discomfort in the pelvic area during this process—similar to the discomfort men experience when they come close to climaxing but then fail to do so.

During the resolution stage, a woman’s breasts and nipples can be incredibly sensitive. In fact, they can be so sensitive that touching them is uncomfortable for her. This is important to remember, because if you have not climaxed yet, you will want to refrain from any aggressive fondling of her breasts to reach your own orgasm.

After the last orgasm, the “sex flush” will disappear. Also, your partner may experience heavy sweating, rapid heart beating, and/or heavy breathing. The resolution stage marks the end of the cycle of sexual desire and arousal for women.

Female Orgasm Stage 5 – Multiple Orgasms & Sexual Response Cycle

Many women are capable of having multiple orgasms. In fact, they are more common than researchers initially believed. Any time a woman has an orgasm she is capable of having another one if proper stimulation is continued. What’s interesting about multiple orgasms in women is that they don’t have to repeat the entire cycle to achieve another orgasm. Once they are in the area between the third and fourth stages, their bodies are highly receptive to orgasm.

Filed Under: Orgasm Tagged With: better sex, female orgasm, orgasm, sex tips

Foreplay Moves That Girls LOVE!

By dicksinthecity

Foreplay is essential for a woman to enjoy sex, so you’ll want to make sure you’re doing things right. Check out these foreplay moves she will really love! Girls are complicated creatures. Unlike guys, girls take a bit more time and work to get all hot and bothered. Yet, if it is done right AND LONG ENOUGH the payoff of having a woman begging for you is well worth it. Here are some moves that can help get her fire going.

What She Said About Foreplay:

1. Tease Her

Seduce her. Take your time with a woman, even though you may be hard and ready to go, she may need to warm up. So don’t head for her boobs or clit right away, work your way there. Start with kissing her neck and shoulders also rub your hands along side her body. Pay attention to how excited she is getting and go slow.

Spend minutes, note MINUTES, not seconds on her neck, then spend MINUTES on her legs, then spend MINUTES kissing her back. Spend time lots of time on her. Think of her body as a treasure map but before you get to the buried treasure, you need to work your way there. Caress her legs and arms and kiss her everywhere. Make it a game to not touch her near her clit nor on her boobs and see how super excited she gets. This is foreplay!

2. Repeat #1.

Seriously, do what you just did all over again. Even though you may feel like you spent “forever” kissing her, she needs more foreplay. She needs more touching all over her body.

3. Mix It Up

Keep doing the above steps but vary your touch and pressure and use more tongue. Now would be a good time to add massage oil and rub her down.

4. Talk To Her!

While doing foreplay steps 1-3 talk to her. I am not saying you need to have a full blown conversation, nor do you need to get all poetic or dirty talk on her. I mean tell her how sexy she is, how hot you are getting, how you can’t wait to feel all of her. Tell her how fantastic her body is and how you are the luckiest bastard in the world that you get to see her half naked or you get to kiss her.

Praise her whole body with your touch and your words. I know it sounds corny but in the heat of the moment shit like that can really get a girl going!

5. Repeat!

Seriously, do it all again until she is begging you to have sex with her. And if you really want to score major points, tell her that you want to focus all on her. So if she starts to go down on you, stop her (if you can), and tell her you want this night to be about her.

What He Said About Foreplay:

1. Take The Scenic Route

Look we all know where this going. You want to have sex of some variety, but women love foreplay moves that aren’t shall we say as direct. Pay attention to the parts of her that men rarely notice, like the elbows, or the navel. Start to make a beeline towards the boobs or the vagina, then make an abrupt turn to the right and start to work your way away from it, then go back, coming just a little bit closer, but still not making contact with the target. Repeat this, until she just can’t stand it. Then do it again.

2. Tell Her No

Men are usually all about hitting it, getting off and then going to bed. Do number one until she’s literally begging for you to have sex with her. Then don’t. Until you feel like she’ll put a gun to your head unless you sleep with her. If you can do this right, you will own her and she will love you for it.

I have two friends who are masters of this. Some of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen are falling all over these guys no matter if the women are single or married, or if the guy’s in shape or not. One of my friend teases women he meets at work to a tee. He’s a bartender and he’ll pick up a girl at the end of the night and take her home. He’ll engage in foreplay and tease her until she just can’t stand it and to where she’s on the verge of having an orgasm just off the anticipation. Then he’ll say “You know what? I’m really tired from work. I’m going to bed. Maybe we’ll pick up where we left off in the morning.” Then he actually goes to sleep. This drives the women nuts.

They literally can’t process it. He always gets laid when he wakes up and often then start molesting him as soon as the sun comes up.

Another friend does a similar move, he’ll tease, please a bit, stop, tease some more and then say “Okay, that’s all you get for now. You’ll get more later, if you’re good.” Then he cuts them off. This drives them nuts and this kind of teasing women love.

Filed Under: Foreplay Tagged With: better sex, female orgasm, foreplay, orgasm, sex tips

2 Tell-Tale Signs That Your Sexual Stamina Is Below Par!

By lloydlester

Premature ejaculation can happen to any guy, and it can often sneak up on you. Are you missing these two signs that you’re not lasting long enough?

Does time seem to whiz by whenever you make out? More specifically, do you find it hard to lengthen the amount of time you have sex? For many men out there, premature ejaculation is a REAL problem they have struggle with. And for many women, sex is NOT as satisfying as it should be, for the simple fact that their partners are not able to last the distance.

Did you know that premature ejaculation is the number one problem in the bedroom? Most men do not have the stamina to have decent sex, let alone give their women sensational lovemaking. This can not only create resentment about sex, but also put unnecessary strain on a relationship. If you want your relationship to last, you really need to develop more stamina so you can give your lover the pleasure she wants, needs and deserves.

So how do you know if you are lasting long enough for her? Well, here are two obvious indicators:

1. The Principle Of Reciprocity

How is she responding to your advances? Does she look forward to making out with you? If you are not lasting long enough, chances are, sexual intercourse will become frustrating for her. Most women have a sexual response cycle of ten to fifteen minutes. Simply put, that is the average amount of time it takes for most women to achieve an orgasm through penetrative sex. But if she takes delight in every lovemaking session with you and wants to return you the favor, you know you are doing something right and you are most likely lasting way better than most guys out there.

2. The Measure Of Self Confidence

Do you look forward to sex? The reason I’m asking is because most men who suffer from premature ejaculation routinely find excuses to avoid any sexual contact altogether and I’m not kidding! The embarrassment and stigma associated with PE can be painful enough for a man to abstain themselves from any sexual activity. If you enjoy sex as much as your partner and step into each session with confidence, you have nothing really to worry about!

And the good news?

Even if your stamina isn’t up to the mark, you can take comfort from the fact that premature ejaculation is a treatable condition, and can be reversed with relative ease using a good dose of natural conditioning exercises.

Filed Under: Erectile Dysfunction / Last Longer In Bed Tagged With: better sex, how to last longer in bed, orgasm, premature ejaculation, sex tips

Sex Positions She Likes Best

By dicksinthecity

Sex positions can make sex even better, but guys don’t often consider what a girl wants. Here are some of HER favorites you can use for great sex tonight!

A happy woman is vital to your sex life! Everyone knows men and women love sex, but which sex positions do women like this? Here are some tasty treats for you and your lover to try out!

What She Said About Sex Positions For Her:

All of them! OK, I know I represent a small majority of women who love sex in every form and position! And I am lucky enough (and work out enough) to have confidence in my body and allow myself to have a healthy body image. I think two naked or half naked bodies doing the horizontal mambo is super sexy! But, there are times when I prefer one position over another.

I have to say that woman on top (WOT is my favorite! When women are on top they can control the speed and depth. Also being on top is perfect for a women to find the right position that rubs her clitoris. Sometimes leaning forward, sometimes leaning back can do the trick. Doggy style is also a winner in my book and great for women who may feel self conscious about their bellies or boobs.

There is something so animalistic about doggy style that I think is a turn on and its also a great position for a guy to bite and nibble on your back and neck! Or he can just hold on to you with his hands, and man hands on a woman’s hip is super erotic. In doggy style, women can control the speed and depth too, just tell your guy to stay still and you can just back your ass up!

What He Said About Sex Positions For Her:

Okay, am I the only one that didn’t know WOT = woman on top? Really? I am? No one sent me the memo? That’s cold.

The sex positions she likes often boil down to either A) which ones she ‘knows’ will get or off or B) the ones that show off her best angles and make her look good.

Ideally every woman would have the confidence in their bodies that old men do. Any guy who has ever gone to the gym knows what I am talking about. They are old, they are fat, and they are naked. Constantly. And they want to have long, in depth conversations with you and they never, ever want to wear clothes. Ever. Not a stitch of modesty, or inhibition, why, I will never know, but every woman should be so uninhibited.

The more uninhibited you are, the more you enjoy sex, and the more sex positions you will enjoy.

Woman on top is great for so many reasons, chief among them the ease in achiving orgasm. I don’t care how unskilled the male lover may be, there’s no way the woman isn’t getting off on top. It’s just not possible. Not only is it guaranteed, her orgasm on top is usually quick and easy. She’s probably going to get off in that position before the man in her life.

I’m not sure it’s as efficient in achieving female orgasm as woman on top, but in my experience, every woman loves to do it standing up. Not every guy has the strength to handle it, but if you can handle it, another great sex position that every woman is sure to enjoy. I’m not sure why they love it so much. Maybe because it’s so primal, and so intense.

Mentally and physically, because you’re being penetrated in a way that is primal and intense, like no other position, and it’s a great measure of trust. He’s literally supporting you and you have to hold on to him in order to not fall and hurt yourself and potential him as well. It is not a position that a couple finds themselves in for super long (as it’s very taxing on the man and easy to get tired and then someone could get hurt), but it’s a pretty intense and amazing position.

How do you pull it off? The simplest way to get into this amazing sex position for women (and men) is to have the man sits on the edge of the bed, the woman sits on his baby maker, wraps her arms and legs around him and then he stands up and they do the horizontal mambo while standing up. A lot of men can’t hold that position for very long, for obvious reasons, so you can either, pick her up and lean up against the wall or do it like that for a while and then sit down on the bed again. You don’t need to hold that one long, women love that one for many reasons! It takes a bit of practice, but is well worth it!

You can then sit back down on the bed, and easily transition back into woman on top or another position.

Filed Under: Best Sex Positions For... Tagged With: better sex, female orgasm, orgasm, sex positions, sex tips

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