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You are here: Home / Archives for orgasm

Why Her Fake Orgasm Is YOUR Fault!

By loveandsex

An orgasm that is faked is your fault. There is is no wiggle room. You go at foreplay for all you’re worth and she starts making those tell-tale noises in your ear to let you know that you’re turning her on.

Just as she’s getting in the mood for more, you take a dive down south and stick in a finger to see if the waters are warm. If she’s not ready, it’s back to the testing phase – a little more kissing, necking, nipples and bum.

This back and forth is not only annoying when we aren’t aroused yet, but makes us feel pressured. the only thing that seems to make a difference toward the success of women who overcome sexual dysfunction is the commitment of their mates.

Wet Doesn’t Mean Ready

If your wife is warm and wet when you test her out, do you take that as a sign that it’s time for sex and head straight for intercourse? Not so fast! Being lubricated and being open for sex is not the same thing. DeAngelis explains that lubricant can be affected by a number of factors – nutrition, exercise, medications, hydration, emotions and cyclical hormones – and warns,

“Don’t assume just because we’re wet that we’re ready. Our body and mind need to be open before intercourse will feel good to us.” Don’t fall victim to the belief that if you don’t “strike while the iron is hot” she will become less aroused as you continue to stimulate her before having “real” (i.e. penetrative) sex.

The opposite is true, unless she’s really tired, in which case there’s no magic you can do besides giving her a chance to get the rest she needs. She will learn to lovingly live with it, much more than she would learn to live with you being standoffish, awkward and emotionally distant because you’re always “waiting for the right time.”

Are We There Yet?

You hate it when the kids can’t stop asking, right? You don’t want to be the big five-year-old in your relationship, do you? It is time to get with the program.

It’s Not Always About Orgasm

Yes, women like orgasms. We are human after all, and our bodies are programmed for pleasure. Perhaps it is the fact that men are three to five times more likely than women to orgasm during every sexual encounter but we women don’t need sex to be so goal-oriented.

Sure, it might be fun to play a game once in a while, just to see how many orgasms your wife can have, but she doesn’t want every sexual moment to be a marathon. Each encounter doesn’t have to be an event – sometimes it’s nice to just relax and enjoy the sensations and emotions of being together.

No Pushing

In other words, stop acting like it’s the end of the world if your woman doesn’t come! What is the point of being passive aggressive? Bullying your partner into enjoying herself is pretty counter-intuitive, right? Sex is supposed to be about feeling good and there are plenty of good feelings that may not lead directly to orgasm.

Heck, if she gets there every time, she’s doing better than 85% of other women out there, and only about half report having orgasms during sex “often.”

A Watched Pot Never Boils

I like sex. In fact, I love it. I love orgasms, too. But when my husband would ask me over and over if I was “there yet?” it drove me mad! Sure, it was nice to know that he cared one way or the other. But the pressure to perform for him was so overwhelming; I would end up faking just to get him to stop asking.

No woman wants to be pestered about her orgasm. Honestly, if you have to ask, you haven’t fingered her well enough yet to make her body tell you of its own volition.

In this case, that is where you should be focusing your energy, not pushing your orgasmic expectations and your trivial real-world cares and stresses onto her exactly when she needs to relax and let go the most.

Great Expectations

Let me put this very simply. If you can’t tell whether or not your partner has had an orgasm, you better stop acting like Casanova and trying to collect orgasms like trophies. When you can recognize the tell-tale signs of an orgasm, put your mouth to good use and make it happen!

And I don’t mean by talking at her incessantly until she fakes it so you’ll shut up and leave her be. Sometimes, I am just not in the mood for wild sex and multiple orgasms, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to cuddle or play. Just because your wife might not up for The Big O doesn’t mean you can’t work on one for you, or suggest a bit of mutual masturbation!

Many women will start to experience the onset of sexual desire after getting started, so a slightly-less-than-enthusiastic response isn’t the kiss of death.  Foreplay is the secret to get any woman to respond the right way.

Filed Under: Orgasm Tagged With: female orgasm, foreplay, kissing, orgasm, sex tips

What You NEED To Know Before You Have Sex!

By loveandsex

Sex tips? Who needs those? You know the basics, right? You  know exactly what you need to do to get her wet and in the mood. You go at foreplay for all you’re worth and she starts making those tell-tale noises in your ear to let you know that you’re turning her on.

Just as she’s getting in the mood for more, you take a dive down south and stick in a finger to see if the waters are warm. If she’s not ready, it’s back to the testing phase – a little more kissing, necking, nipples and bum. This back and forth is not only annoying when we aren’t aroused yet, but makes us feel pressured. The only thing that seems to make a difference toward the success of women who overcome sexual dysfunction is the commitment of their mates.

Wet Doesn’t Mean Ready

If your wife is warm and wet when you test her out, do you take that as a sign that it’s time for sex and head straight for intercourse? Not so fast! Being lubricated and being open for sex is not the same thing. One of the best sex tips to give is don’t assume just because they are wet that they are ready. Their body and mind need to be open before intercourse will feel good to them.

Don’t fall victim to the belief that if you don’t “strike while the iron is hot” she will become less aroused as you continue to stimulate her before having sex. The opposite is true, unless she’s really tired, in which case there’s no magic you can do besides giving her a chance to get the rest she needs.

She will learn to lovingly live with it, much more than she would learn to live with you being standoffish, awkward and emotionally distant because you’re always “waiting for the right time.”

It’s Not Always About Orgasm

Yes, women like to have an orgasm. We are human after all, and our bodies are programmed for pleasure. Perhaps it is the fact that men are three to five times more likely than women to orgasm during every sexual encounter but we women don’t need to be so goal-oriented.

Sure, it might be fun to play a game once in a while, just to see how many orgasms your wife can have, but she doesn’t want every sexual moment to be a marathon. Each encounter doesn’t have to be an event – sometimes it’s nice to just relax and enjoy the sensations and emotions of being together.

No Pushing

In other words, stop acting like it’s the end of the world if your woman doesn’t come! What is the point of being passive aggressive? Bullying your partner into enjoying herself is pretty counter-intuitive, right?

Intercourse is supposed to be about feeling good and there are plenty of good feelings that may not lead directly to orgasm. Heck, if she gets there every time, she’s doing better than 85% of other women out there, and only about half report having orgasms with their partner.

A Watched Pot Never Boils

I like sex. In fact, I love it. I love orgasms, too. But when my husband would ask me over and over if I was “there yet?” it drove me mad! Sure, it was nice to know that he cared one way or the other. But the pressure to perform for him was so overwhelming; I would end up faking just to get him to stop asking.

Here is one of the best sex tips I know. No woman wants to be pestered about her orgasm. Honestly, if you have to ask, you aren’t fingering her well enough yet to make her body tell you of its own volition. In this case, that is where you should be focusing your energy, not pushing your orgasmic expectations and your trivial real-world cares and stresses onto her exactly when she needs to relax and let go the most.

Great Expectations

Let me put this very simply. If you can’t tell whether or not your partner has had a female orgasm, you better stop acting like Casanova and trying to collect orgasms like trophies. When you can recognize the tell-tale signs of an orgasm, put your mouth to good use and make it happen! And I don’t mean by talking at her incessantly until she fakes it so you’ll shut up and leave her be.

Sometimes, I am just not in the mood for wild sex and multiple orgasms, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to cuddle or play. Just because your wife might not up for The Big O doesn’t mean you can’t work on one for you, or suggest a bit of mutual masturbation! Many women will start to experience the onset of sexual desire after getting started, so a slightly-less-than-enthusiastic response isn’t the kiss of death.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: fingeering, foreplay, kissing, orgasm, sex tips

How To Get Your Girl To Want To Go Down On You AGAIN

By michaelfiore

A blowjob is a favor. It’s not often that men find a woman who loves to give a blowjob. If your wife or girlfriend is standoffish about giving you oral sex. There are things that you do to increase the odds. Here is a quick guide on how to make her actually want to give you a blowjob AGAIN AND AGAIN!

Right After Your Blowjob

Right after the blowjob there are a few key things you need to do.

1. Help clean up. If she lets you orgasm in her mouth, get her a towel to spit into.

2. If you came somewhere else, it’s your job to clean up. Wipe it off. Show that you’re going to take care of things.

3. Have a positive and THANKFUL and HAPPY attitude. Tell your girl things like…

“That was WONDERFUL.”
“You are AMAZING.”
“Oh my god, thank you so much. That was awesome.”

4. Shower her in affection. Don’t go overboard but really show that you care appreciate what she’s done.

Listen guys, I know you might not love cuddling or hanging out after you climax, but drink an energy drink if you have to, stay awake and make sure she feels appreciated.

The Next Day

The next day is when you really cement the positive experience of giving you a blowjob. If you have my Text Your Wife Into Bed product, use some of the core concepts there to revivify the experience for both of you. Focus on how GREAT she made you feel and how WONDERFUL the whole thing was.

If you don’t have TYWIB, text or email this:

“That was wonderful last night. Thank you.”
“My favorite part was when you ran your tongue along the underside…you looked SOOO sexy.”

KEY POINT: Whatever you do, do not create the expectation that she’s going to do this again. If she feels pressured to make this a regular part of the arsenal, you might lose the fish. You may even want to say “It’s totally up to you if you ever do that again, but it was WONDERFUL.”

You can also focus on how she seemed to really enjoy it. “I can’t believe how wet you were when you were sucking me.” Or “You really seemed turned on.” By bringing the attention to the girl’s own arousal you cement it in her mind.

Days Down The Road

Really all you need to do at this point is rinse, wash and repeat. Continue the games I’ve taught you here. Continue to reinforce the idea of her mouth as a erogenous zone and the POWER of her mouth and tongue to give you pleasure. Remember, you’re basically trying to create a “habit” here and creating a habit requires repetition.

If you let off the throttle the first time you have success, you’ll have a lot more work to do next time. But if you continue at a strong and steady pace you’ll have your wife or girlfriend acting like an “oral enthusiast” in no time.

Filed Under: Oral Sex Tagged With: blowjob, fellatio, oral sex, orgasm, sex tips

How To Get Her To Orgasm Faster During Sex

By loveandsex

An orgasm will depend on a woman’s physiology. The only marker you really have on any timeline is based on how long it normally takes whenever the two of you have had sex in the past. But what if it’s been ages since the last time you had sex, or if she has yet been able to orgasm during intercourse?

Give Her Time

There are some ladies who take a long while to get where they need to be before experiencing orgasm. With such a vast number of factors involved in the process, it is a delicate juggle that may or may not line up on any given night. Some women, however, have the self-knowledge, experience, confidence and wherewithal to climax in record time.

Maybe she can elicit what she needs from her body just by thinking sexy thoughts, or maybe she has a partner that really knows how to get her motor running. Maybe, just maybe, your wife is one of the rare few who barely need any assistance at all! These are the women that the rest of us envy.

Know The Factors That Affect Her Orgasm

Many factors affect a woman’s ability to orgasm, such as her mindset, where she is in her menstrual cycle, any positive or negative sexual experiences she may have experienced in the past, where and how she spent her day, how much stress she’s under, even the things she has eaten or ingested including food, water, drugs, alcohol and/or medications.

Some of these things will affect her positively – fond memories from a smell or a touch can send her right into sexy space, or small amounts of booze might help her to loosen up when she’s feeling anxious. Others, like fatty foods, excess alcohol and many prescription medications, will only serve to dampen her sexual fire.

Find Out If She Orgasms During Masturbation

Ask your lady if she masturbates and experiences orgasm on her own. If she does, she’s likely to orgasm during sexual intercourse far more easily than her non-masturbatory counterparts.

Don’t bother asking her how long she takes as an indicator of how long it’ll take while you’re inside of her though; like you when you touch your own cock, she knows her body so well that masturbation will get her to climax consistently much faster than any other method.

What will help to move things along is extended foreplay before penetrative intercourse – fingering and oral sex are sure to get her nice and warm before penetration. You’ll get her that much further along the path to climax this way, so that her juices are revved and ready to go when you make the transition from foreplay to intercourse.

Find Out What She Likes

Ask her to show you what she does on her own, or what angles, pressure and rhythm she really enjoys. If you can get to know what gets her off solo, you’ll be that much closer to learning what really makes her tick.

All of this information doesn’t truly answer the question though, does it? I’m not avoiding it, I promise. I just want to ensure that you understand all of the factors involved before you start checking the clock and timing your lover’s orgasmic process.

In a nutshell, most women take anywhere from ten to thirty minutes to achieve orgasm during penetrative sex. That time frame doesn’t include foreplay or aftercare, but rather direct clitoral head stimulation or G-Spot play during intercourse.

Filed Under: Orgasm Tagged With: better sex, female orgasm, fingering, foreplay, orgasm, sex tips

How To Give Any Girl Multiple Orgasms During Sex

By loveandsex

Sex tips are essential for giving your girlfriend or wife multiple orgasms. These orgasms are tricky territory and may be hard just to bring up in conversation, if only because many women don’t even know they are possible!

If she is already struggling to reach orgasm regularly, so might not want the additional pressure of trying to orgasm over and over again.

There are several ways to assist your partner with finding the path to multiples, as all women have the capacity, but only if she is prepared and has opened her mind to the idea. It’s all just a matter of creating the perfect storm.

What To Do After The First Orgasm

Once she has experienced her first orgasm, you want to ensure she remains aroused. Cuddle, coo, snuggle and tell your lover how much you appreciate her, all while slowly and gently stimulating the clitoral head and hood.

If she is too sensitive, pull back to the labia, the mons or even the inner thigh. Basically, whatever pressure, rhythm and position you were in prior to her orgasm, you want to continue along those lines but more gently and with less force.

Focus on the romance for a bit instead of the orgasm, and allow her a bit of a breather. Just don’t stop touching for more than a few seconds at a time, or the cool-off period will begin.

Watch Her Breathing

Once your girl’s breathing starts slowing back to normal (but before it gets all the way there), start with a bit more pressure along the mons pubis. If need be, shift into another position that offers strong symphysis and/or G-Spot stimulation.

If you can, put your hand over the mons pubis and feel around for the clitoral shaft, making sure she is getting the proper angle for lots of rubbing and friction.

Move your body further up hers if you are in a sex position facing her, so that you can help her rise toward climax again. If she pushes you away or says she’s too sensitive, take things back a few notches but don’t stop entirely.

Focus On The Other Parts

Focus on other parts of her body that arouse her until she starts to move of her own accord, rubbing against you in search of more stimulation. When her hips thrust and her breathing quickens, you can start playing with her mons pubis and pressing up against her pubic bone.

Her second orgasm should occur in less time than it took the first, only because her body didn’t regress all the way back to the non-aroused state before beginning her next ascent to climax.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: better sex, climax, female orgasm, g spot, multiple orgasms, orgasm

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