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Swinging vs Polyamory – Can You REALLY Have One Without the Other?

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So you’ve been enjoying the swinging lifestyle for a few years, and are having a blast.

But what if it starts growing into more than just sex with friends – or friends with benefits? What if your husband or wife starts developing romantic (a.k.a. love) feelings for your playmates? Dare we call it polyamory?

And what happens when the jealousy beast rears it’s ugly head. Admittedly swingers (and certainly those into polyamory) are not nearly as apt to fits of jealousy as some monogamous couples, but it’s been known to happen. As with the couple asking the question for today’s video below.

Oh, and if you think swinging or polyamory are a rare occurrence in our society, think again! Check out this survey that over 4,000 of our readers took – Sex Poll: Would You Consider Swinging or Polyamory? The results will certainly surprise you.

So is it REALLY possible to have swinging without polyamory, and vice versa? Is it REALLY?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPWa1qbLCKM[/youtube]

Check out this resource we recommend to help you find the right swinger and threesome partners fast:

  1. Check out the largest swinger and sex personals dating site and find sex partners in your area today. They have millions of active members online, and 30,000 new photos uploaded daily.

How to Spice Up Your Sex Life and Save Your Relationship

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Here’s a common scenario…

My partner and I have been together for 2 years and we have been living together for about 4 months. Now that we are living together, we rarely have sex. We are becoming more like best friends and I’m scared the passion is fading.

I don’t want to lose my relationship but I don’t know if I have the will power to save it. What can I do?

Watch this short video to find out how you can spice up your sex life and bring back that spark you had in the beginning…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pupUg1sSmW0[/youtube]

You’ll Definitely Want to Try These Fun and Creative Date Ideas

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Think back to your last date…

Now the one before that. Remember how much fun you had? Or did you?

Were you doing the same old thing you always do, each and every time you go out on Friday night? Does your partner still get excited at the thought of going out with you?

Or is it getting boring and sometimes not even worth the hassle? What a shame…

How about some really fun, memorable, and unique date ideas that’ll get you and your partner excited to go on a date again – together?

Or here’s another scenario…

You’ve met a really great man or woman and they’ve accepted your offer to go on the very first date with you. Wouldn’t it be nice to take them on a really fun and creative date that they’ll never forget rather then the same old dinner and a movie routine?

Be different and stand out.

Most people just go out to dinner at some fancy restaurant on their first few dates. But that’s just not very special or original. Your partner will appreciate that you actually came up with something creative and romantic.

If you want to stand out from the crowd, always strive to be yourself, to be different… Don’t go on the same dates everyone else goes on, and don’t copy what everyone else does. Do something exciting and memorable, and most importantly – have fun. Fun and happiness is extremely infections… people just can’t get enough.

Here’s our review of Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb’s excellent book 300 Creative Dates… In short, you’ll never run out of fun date ideas again.

Are restaurants becoming boring as date destinations? Check out all the types of dates you’re missing out on:

  • Unique TV/Movie Dates
  • Different Dinner Dates
  • Vacation Dates
  • Picnic Dates
  • Game Dates
  • Craft Dates
  • Sports/Outdoors Dates
  • Long Distance Dates

I’m sure you’ll be as excited as we were when we started flipping through the pages. Michael Webb has the best collection of date ideas and romance tips that we’ve ever seen in one place.

Here’s a sneak peek at the great date ideas you’ll find when you get 300 Creative Dates.

  • Instead of a lunch or dinner date, try a breakfast date.
  • Go for a night swim with candles floating in the pool.
  • Try making a gourmet meal together.
  • Rent a convertible for the day while the weather is still warm and take a ride to the beach, mountains or countryside.
  • Warm up the house in winter by baking several batches of cookies with your sweetheart to share with friends, family and coworkers.
  • Go through a gourmet grocery store sampling the items and buying something you have never tried before.
  • Spend an afternoon or evening in an art gallery and pretending you are professional art reviewers. Give each other a critique of several of the pieces.
  • Take your sweetheart on a tour of your old high school or college – pointing out all the special places.
  • Purchase coloring books and spend the evening coloring and talking about your childhoods.
  • Stay up all night and visit places that are open very late like Waffle House, Wal-Mart and dance clubs.
  • Make s’mores in your fireplace.
  • Attend a high tea.
  • Make an old fashioned root beer float and drink it with two straws.
  • Wash, blow dry and brush your lover’s hair.
  • Celebrate your sweetheart’s “half” birthday (six months after his or her real birthday).
  • Go to a nearby park with hiking trails.
  • Pretend you are without power and light up your place with candles and just talk for a change.

While we did find some of the dates to be a little cheesy, there are definitely a lot of great date ideas that are worth trying at least once and many that are worth trying more than once.

Download your copy right now before you get busy and forget. Surprise your partner with the best date they’ve had in a long time.

Michael Webb also includes some really great dating tips to help you make your creative dates a success instead of a flop. And he also tells you how to avoid some potentially devastating dating disasters.

There’s also a section with some great ideas for asking someone out. You know, breaking past those first awkward moment and making your fateful move!

You’ll definitely also want to check out Michael’s other terrific resources below.

One of our personal favorites is Lick by Lick.

Don’t put it off. You’ll kick yourself if you don’t check out 300 Creative Dates today.

Here Are Some Great Ways to Get ‘Lucky’ in Love on St. Patrick’s Day

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So maybe you’ve never thought of St. Patrick’s Day as a romantic holiday…

Why not try something new this year and surprise your significant other with something a little more romantic than green beer.

We say that when you’re in love, the best way to stay in love and keep the spark in your relationship is to make every day a romantic holiday. So here are some great romantic ideas for this St. Patrick’s Day.

Get ‘Lucky’ in Love on St. Patrick’s Day

By: Amy Cunningham

St. Patty’s Day is no longer just for the Irish! Take the time to add a spark of romance and let that special someone know how truly ‘lucky’ you feel to have them in your life.

  1. This is a common suggestion, but not many couples actually take advantage of it! Pack a picnic lunch, complete with a bottle of wine. Head out to your local park, snag a shady spot under a tree and prepare yourself for an afternoon of romance. After eating, have a little St. Patty’s Day fun by searching for four-leaf clovers in the grass. While it may sound cheesy at first, you’ll really feel the romantic sparks.
  2. A perfect gift for the perfect lass! Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day deliciously with a gift box full of St. Patrick’s Day themed berries. These berries are lusciously dipped in dark chocolate, milk chocolate, white chocolate, almonds, chocolate chips, and green tinted coconut. It’s fun and romantic!
  3. Rent a “lucky” movie and have a romantic night at home! Lucky Seven, starring Kimberly Williams-Paisley (from The Tenth Kingdom and Father of the Bride), is a great romantic comedy for St. Patrick’s Day. Amy’s (Williams-Paisley) mother dies when she is just 7 years old and leaves her with a timeline for her life, including the fact that she will have 6 boyfriends before she meets the 7th, who is “the one”. Everything in Amy’s life is perfect and she has followed the time line exactly until she meets the perfect guy. The problem is that he is guy number six. In order to keep her perfect time line in tact, Amy seeks out a temporary sixth boyfriend, the bagel guy. She is soon caught between the two men in a hilarious attempt to figure out her life and love.
  4. It’s said that the four-leaf clover symbolizes wealth, fame, a faithful lover and good health. Pressed between two layers of glass, this genuine four-leaf clover is surrounded by a polished-aluminum frame and sturdy stand. There is no gift that is more perfect for your lucky love on St. Patrick’s Day than this framed genuine four-leaf clover.
  5. Have your sweetie search for his/her own lucky pot o’ gold! You can fill a small pot with golden chocolate coins (found at most candy stores) and a love letter inside. You can either leave the pot o’gold out in the open for your sweetie to find or leave clues filled with romantic notions leading them to the end of their rainbow…
  6. We all like to believe that good things come in threes, and we have the Irish to thank for this optimistic motto. The native shamrock with three leaves is said to represent love, valor and wit. Share your love with your lucky lady by giving her this gorgeous Shamrock bracelet.
  7. Kiss me, I’m Irish! Even if you’re not Irish, fill your day with lots o’kisses! There’s nothing like a good make out session to spark the romance. Shake things up a bit and try out several different kisses. Check out our “gallery of kisses” submitted by other RomanceStuck visitors.
  8. If you’re looking for something for the lucky man in your life, this plaid leather flask is the perfect gift. It’s not St. Pat’s without a little whiskey… or a little green. Throw in a set of double-walled beer glasses (as seen on NBC’s Today Show) for a little more St. Patty’s day fun.
  9. Leave sexy love notes in your sweetie’s briefcase/purse with Hershey’s Golden Nugget candies attached. Make sure the notes leave sexy hints of the night to come! All you need for the perfect St. Patrick’s night is sexy green lingerie and a little bubbly.
  10. Visit a local Irish pub for the evening. Most have special events on St. Patty’s Day, which is sure to guarantee a good time. Check your local newspaper or call your local pub to find out their schedule of events.

Amy Cunningham is the editor of RomanceStuck.com, your online resource for romantic ideas to help you find love and stay in love. ©Copyright RomanceStuck.com 2000-2006. All rights reserved.

Is He Really Over His Ex-Girlfriend? How Do I Know for Sure?

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The Question:

I’ve been dating this guy for 3 years, and just found out from his ex-girlfriend that in the first year of us dating he was still sending her flowers, and making CDs of songs that made him think of her. She broke it off for good, and the last 2 years he has been with only me, but he has never gotten me flowers, or even made me a CD, and I don’t think I’d even want it. After finding out what he did the first year of our relationship, I feel like if she would have came running back into his arms he would have left me for her.

Now he tells me he only loves me and wants to be with only me, but as far has being romantic to me, that will never happen, for he did it in the past and it didn’t work, so I just have to love him for him, and not for what he did for her. But I’m like we have been together for 3 years now and you have never gotten me flowers or anything, and he told me it was something between them, and it would only bring up old memories. What do I do????? I love him so much, but all this really hurts bad… I need some good advice… please help me.

The Answer

This question leaves me with a few questions of my own – Is this really about the romance or the fact that you’re not sure if he’s truly over her? Maybe you feel that he doesn’t love you as much as her and that the ‘romance’ would prove his love to you? – Just a few questions to ponder…

It sounds like your boyfriend was not over his previous girlfriend when the two of you decided to get serious, but claims that he is now. This can be a tough one because he never really gave himself time to heal and let go of the previous break up which could result in him carrying around this baggage for a very long time.

Dealing with broken trust

Open communication and honesty are the two most important components of a successful relationship. You have to honestly know in your heart – If his ex-girlfriend called him up tomorrow, would he leave you for her.

He broke this trust at the beginning of your relationship. If he went around your back for a full year, then I’d be concerned about his commitment now. But only you can really gauge if he’s truly moved on.

However, let’s remember that 2 years have passed. People change, feelings, and emotions change. And they tend to change all of a sudden, when the time is right for each person. So while he may have been dishonest with you for a very long time, he may be perfectly committed to you now.

Open and honest communication from this point forward will be critical to the relationship – especially since the trust has already been broken once. Ask him how he honestly feels – you’ll have to be very careful to do this in a trusting, open, and non-threatening way. Otherwise, he’ll just shut down and not talk to you. You also have to be prepared for what you are going to hear – it may not be what you want or expect.

Listen to your heart

Down deep, you know if he’s really and truly devoted to you and shares your love fully. But the trick here is to listen to what’s really there in your heart, not what you want to hear.

Are you jealous of his ex girlfriend?

An important question here… Was romance important to you even before you found out about his affections toward his ex girlfriend?

It’s definitely OK to always grow and change (your mind, your thoughts, your beliefs), but be sure your desire for romantic gestures isn’t just out of jealousy over the ex girlfriend.

You know… “He did it for her, why not me?” That’s a very destructive path.

Identify your needs in the relationship

I don’t think it’s the flowers or CD’s you’re looking for. It’s the way these romantic gestures make you feel – special and desired; to know that he truly loves and desires you.

Understand that romance is a way of life. Not all men feel comfortable with romantic gestures because it really puts their heart on the line. Since he has been rejected before, it may even be more difficult for him.

One idea is to take the time to figure out the exact things that make you feel special and wanted. Sit together and make a list of the top 5 or 10 things that make you feel desired. Make the commitment to do these things for each other on a regular basis, no matter how big or small. Because you’re both a bit jaded in this area, be patient and non-judgmental with one another.

Another thing you can do is help him feel very secure in the relationship so that he will feel safe in making romantic gestures. Compliment him on the little things that he does do and let him know every day how important he is to you and how much you appreciate your relationship. The fastest way to change him is to change your perception of him. Every night before you go to bed write down everything that you like and appreciate about him and your relationship – before you know it, he’ll start giving you even more reasons to appreciate him. It may sound a little backwards, but this is a very powerful exercise.

Stay together or break up?

Different people come into our lives for one purpose or another. Our instinct is to stay with the same person forever because we’re afraid to move on, but sometimes that’s not truly the best answer for us.

Many times people grow apart in a relationship, and are no longer happy together. This is primarily because we’re always growing and changing. When a couple is not completely open and honest in their communication, they often grow in different directions emotionally, physically, and spiritually. When this happens, it may be necessary to move on. I’m not a believer in settling for second best or holding on to a failing relationship.

Spend some time in quiet contemplation or meditation. Ask God, the Universe, or whomever your higher power is, to help you make the right decision for you. If you listen – the answer will come to you. It’s up to you to act on the answer that you receive.

In Summary

The past is only a memory, the future is a dream. Only now is real. Live in the now!

  • As hard as it may be, you should let go of the past and forgive him for the broken trust in the beginning of the relationship whether you choose to continue the relationship or not. “Forgiveness is God’s gift to the forgiver, not the forgiven”.
  • Decide what’s truly important for you in a relationship and go after it, whether it’s with your current boyfriend or not. Don’t settle or hang on to your relationship for the wrong reasons.
  • Once your feelings and desires are clear to you, sit down and seriously discuss your wants and needs with your boyfriend.
  • If you desire a life of romance and your boyfriend isn’t able to provide it, then it may be time to move on.
  • In this case, I would seriously consider some couples counseling because there are so many issues that you are each dealing with, that you may not be able to get through them alone. An objective 3rd party can really help in a situation where you have so many delicate issues to talk about.