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Is It Safe To Have Sex While My Wife Is Pregnant?

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Today’s emphasis on the health of pregnant women can have men wondering if having sex with a woman during her pregnancy is healthy and safe for both the mom and the child.

Fortunately, men will be happy to hear that the only ban on sex is after the baby is born. There are, however, some considerations to take when engaging your pregnant lady in sex – just out of courtesy.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

If my wife is pregnant is it still ok to have sex? because me and my wife are thinking about having a baby and when she’s pregnant I don’t want to miss out on sex for several months. I hope you answer my question in one of your videos.  Thanks.

— Pascal, Canada

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iil4YhOLBI4[/youtube]

Yes, It’s Safe

Your doctor will tell you if your baby is healthy and if the pregnancy is progressing normally. If your doctor confirms a healthy pregnancy, there is no harm whatsoever in having sex with your partner during her pregnancy.

Most doctors will put a ban on sex for a short time after the baby is born, but during a normal pregnancy, there is nothing to worry about when having sex with your partner. That doesn’t mean, however, that your partner will always feel like having sex.

When She Doesn’t Feel Like It

Even a normal, healthy pregnancy is tough on a woman’s body and emotions. Sometimes it’s difficult for the body to produce the hormones necessary for arousal when it’s regulating both the health of the mother and the baby.

A mom has to produce more blood and even grow a new organ along with the baby when she’s pregnant and with all that going on, she might not feel up to having sex. The second trimester is reportedly better for the sex drive when the morning sickness goes away and before she gets uncomfortably big, but it’s not foolproof.

If your partner doesn’t feel like having sex, don’t hold it against her! Do something else that is intimate instead, such as rubbing her belly or her feet or just cuddling on the couch.

When She Does Feel Like It

There may be times when your partner consents to sex and other times where she wants it so bad she can’t see straight. Take advantage of the fact that she feels up to getting down and dirty and make the most of it.

Relax! You’re not going to hurt the baby no matter how large you are or how hard you’re having intercourse. The mother’s organs and the placenta are designed to protect the baby from everything but heavy bodily injury. That said, that doesn’t mean that your partner wants you to pretend you’re hammering a nail into a particularly thick stud.

Ask your partner what she’s comfortable with before you begin having sex. You might have to get a little creative when it comes to intercourse positions, especially towards the end of the pregnancy. Even though the baby is well protected, that doesn’t mean your partner’s vagina isn’t more sensitive and tender than before. There are more blood and hormones running to that area now that she’s pregnant and that may mean that she prefers softer or slower strokes during sex.

Communicate with your partner and listen to her when she tells you what feels good and what doesn’t.

Having sex with your partner during her pregnancy can be a beautiful and special way for you to experience the baby and how you both created life. Having sex during a normal, healthy pregnancy doesn’t endanger the baby or the woman in any way, so relax and have fun!

Is Anal Sex Really Dangerous?

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Anal sex, like any type of sex, can be pleasurable but can also take a nasty turn if you don’t take the appropriate precautions and use care when having anal sex.

So can it be dangerous? You bet, but that doesn’t have to exclude it from your list of enjoyable bedroom (or other room) activities if you really enjoy it.

Here are some ways you can make anal sex safe and fun.

Is anal sex really dangerous? Can it be practiced safely?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cv2WADgqOs[/youtube]

Practice and Patience

Anal sex isn’t something you’re going to be able to be successful with on the first try. It might hurt at first, and you’ll have to go slow. It’s important that your partner and you are on the same page about how to try anal sex.

Practice first with your fingers or other small, smooth objects until you get used to the sensation. Have patience and work up to the point where anal sex isn’t as uncomfortable.

Keeping Clean

That particular orifice in our bodies was designed to excrete waste, and it does so pretty efficiently. Unfortunately, since anal sex is something our bodies weren’t designed to do (although we can manage pretty well sometimes), you might end up “playing in the mud” when you try anal sex.

Human waste is loaded with bacteria and in part, that’s what makes it dangerous if you don’t keep things clean. NEVER have vaginal intercourse after anal intercourse without washing thoroughly. Wash your hands, toys, penis and anything else that was involved. Wash everything again when you’re done! NEVER have oral sex after anal sex!

You can reduce your exposure to the bacteria in human waste if you wear a condom during anal intercourse. Even if you’re a monogamous couple, wearing a condom will help keep things safe for everyone involved.

Going Slow

While having anal sex puts both parties involved at risk for bacteria exposure, it exposes the receiver of anal sex to injury in that area if the giving partner isn’t careful. When having anal sex, go slow and don’t try to have rough sex.

Use soft, long and slow strokes to avoid tearing or other types of injury there. If you’re the giving partner, and the receiver asks you to stop, STOP! Using care and caution is of the utmost importance when having anal sex.

Communication is Key

Make sure that you and your partner agree on how you’re going to proceed with anal sex. Talk to each other and make sure the lines of communication are always open.

If a situation arises, talk about it! When you’re done talking about it, make sure to talk some more! You put yourself at a higher risk of doing damage during anal sex if you and your partner aren’t in agreement about how it’s going to be handled.

While anal sex isn’t always dangerous every time you do it, it can be and should be regarded with care and caution. Don’t go into anal sex without speaking to your partner thoroughly before, during and after anal sex and don’t do it if it makes you uncomfortable.

Keeping everything clean is probably the most important aspect of making anal sex safe and fun, as is making sure you’re going slowly and your partner isn’t uncomfortable. If you’re cautious, anal sex can become a fun alternative to spice up your sex life!

When to Say NO to Anal Sex…

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Trying new things in your sex life is healthy, and in many cases, even encouraged.

Some people tend to find a few things they like, such as anal sex, and may incorporate this into their sexual activities regularly.

Sometimes, however, you’ll find that after kids or other things that some things become uncomfortable or unbearable.

What happens if you become unable to perform you or your partner’s favorite sex acts due to one or more reasons?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My husband loves anal sex… we used to have it a lot (several years ago). Now it is extremely painful for me. I have been diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome and have a couple external hemorrhoids from having children. We have tried taking it easy, tried using fingers first and LOTS of lube.

How can I get over the horrible pain so he will be happy? I don’t know what else to do. Can you help me? PLEASE!!!

-Me. WV

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5onqX2asejE[/youtube]

When it becomes uncomfortable…

Many people enjoy different activities during sex. This can range from S & M to anal sex to foot fetishes to anything your imaginations can dream up.

As long as you both enjoy it and you are both being smart and safe, there’s nothing against having fun and enjoying new and different things with your partner!

Good things can’t last forever though, and you may find that some of the things you once enjoyed doing have become uncomfortable and even painful. For example, if you and your partner really enjoy having anal sex, but after children it becomes painful for you to do so, you and your partner may become frustrated.

Just what do you do if you and your partner’s favorite activities become something you aren’t able to do anymore? Do you stop? Do you grin and bear it?

But they like it…

Even if something in particular is uncomfortable or painful to you, if your partner likes it a lot, you might be inclined to let them continue and just suffer through the pain. This is not something you are obligated to do! Not only is it extremely uncomfortable for you, it might even cause you harm in some way.

If you have had surgery or have had children and there are some physical reasons that keep you from enjoying your partner in the same way you once had, talk to your doctor about how safe it is for you to continue doing so. Don’t be embarrassed! They’ve heard it all before!

If you continue, you may find that it’s not just painful, it’s downright dangerous and could cause your body further damage. Your doctor can tell you what is safe and what isn’t.

Finding something else…

While you and your partner may be disappointed at first, if you truly love each other and care about each other, you’ll find more new and exciting ways to give each other pleasure.

There are a million and one things out there that two people can do together to share each other intimately and sexually, and if you continue to try new things and work different elements into your routine, you’re bound to find something else that turns you and your partner on. Don’t give up!

They won’t let it go…

Every once in awhile, there’s someone who just won’t let it go. They may want it anyway, even if it hurts you or may cause your body damage. Rest assured, this person isn’t worth your time! You have the right to say “No” and if something hurts you, you don’t have to do it.

There are plenty of other fish in the sea that will respect your boundaries and respect you if you choose to no longer participate in an activity that makes you uncomfortable.

Safe Sex: Can That Clear Fluid Really Get Me Pregnant?

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If you’re in a steady, sexual relationship with your partner, you may be wondering just how risky you can be sexually without getting pregnant. You’re not alone!

Many people want to test the boundaries and do as much with each other without a condom as possible. Some people say that it feels better and others just like the physical closeness and intimacy.

One thing is for sure though, it is always better to be safe than sorry!

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

The white/clear liquid that comes from a guy as lube, does that contain sperms?

Is it enough to get a female pregnant?

-Tori, CA

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCTagiaSskI[/youtube]

There’s always a risk of pregnancy and STD’s when you have sex.

Yes, it’s true.  If you’re having sex at all, be it protected or unprotected sex , you risk conceiving a child or contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

It’s pretty black and white, but there are many misconceptions when it comes to this. Even with condoms, there is still a 0.01% chance you may become pregnant when having intercourse with your partner. It’s important to look at the situation in a realistic light. The only completely safe sex is no sex at all.

What fluids actually contain sperm?

The only fluid that contains sperm is the ejaculate – theoretically. However, there may be some sperm hanging out in the urethra from an earlier ejaculation that can get passed to the vagina in the clear fluid that comes out of the penis during heightened stimulation. Therefore, to be safe you should assume that any fluid that comes out of the penis can contain sperm!

If you want to avoid getting pregnant or contracting a sexually transmitted disease, your best bet is to simply have your partner wear a condom for any sexual activity that would involve the penis getting near or in the vagina.

Be safe, not sorry.

If you’re not prepared for the consequences of having unprotected sex, such as contracting an STD or conceiving a child, it is extremely important that you practice having safer sex at all times! If you and your partner are able to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases and the tests are negative, you can switch to spermicide or hormonal birth control pills instead of condoms to allow for more intimacy and pleasure for both you and your partner.

If you are having unprotected sexual intercourse with your partner, you need to acknowledge the fact that the risk of getting pregnant or contracting a sexually transmitted disease is much higher than if you and your partner used a condom.  Although you are not completely eliminating the risk of pregnancy and STD’s with a condom, you are reducing your chances significantly. It is much better to be safe than sorry!

Just remember that the decisions you make in bed can certainly affect the rest of your life and act accordingly. Countless individuals have made a split second error in judgment in the heat of the moment, only to realize that it is too late and they have an STD or a new baby to take care of.  Just act responsibly!

Use protection any time you and your partner are ready to have intercourse and don’t let your partner’s penis near your vagina unless he has a condom on if you don’t want to get pregnant.  Remember that any fluid that comes from the penis has the potential to carry sperm and sexually transmitted diseases.

If you and your partner stay safe, you can enjoy each other sexually while reducing your risks tremendously.  You decide!

Thinking of Having a Threesome? Why Not Make It A Foursome…

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You and your partner have decided to have a threesome. You may even have someone in mind that you and your partner have both agreed on.

If you’re about to take the plunge into the world of multiple partner sex, you may have a few questions on how to do it safely.

Congratulations! Not everyone has safety on their mind before having a threesome. Here are some great ways to have safety in numbers.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Just wanted to say I think it is great what you two do.  My question is my girlfriend and I want to have a threesome with another female and we have one lined up. I know to use a condom but what about oral and other kinds of play? We don’t want to come home with some kind of STD.

Do you have any advice for protection?

– John, CA

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3yXco6t9ag[/youtube]

Getting Tested

The first and foremost thing you should do if you’re planning to have a threesome is get tested for sexually transmitted diseases. All parties involved should have this done.

Your doctor can do this for you, or a local health department can. Have the clinic print something for you that shows your STD status and let all parties involved have a look. This is truly the best way to avoid contracting sexually transmitted diseases when having a threesome.

Sometimes, a threesome is not monogamous and this can substantially shake things up. If you can’t secure a regular threesome partner or if it’s not just a one time thing, you’ll want to take extra safety precautions.

Stepping Up The Safety Factor

– Use latex condoms, or condoms from another material if someone is allergic to latex. Female condoms are great too. Use condoms during sexual intercourse, anal sex and even during oral sex and hand to penis stimulation. While this may not sound enticing, make sure you have a bottle of lubricant with you. Lubricant can go a long way to making latex feel more natural and pleasurable.

– Use latex or vinyl gloves. If you’re going do be doing any play with your hands that involves touching the penis, vagina or anus, protect your hands and their genitals by using latex gloves or gloves of another material.

– Use dental dams or at the very least, plastic wrap when giving a woman oral sex. These both work well to protect the mouth from any vaginal secretions. The trick to using dental dams or plastic wrap is putting a few drops of lubricant on the underside of the plastic square (the side that faces the vagina) and leaving the side that faces the mouth clean. This will help increase the pleasure of oral sex.

These things aren’t going to keep you from contracting every sexually transmitted disease on the planet, but it will reduce your risk of exposure a great deal. Remember that pubic lice, scabies, genital herpes and genital warts can all be spread by skin to skin contact.

Even if you’re wearing a condom, if there’s a genital sore on the upper part of the genitals and this is something you come into contact with, you run the risk of contracting the STD.

Communication

It is essential that you communicate frequently with all parties that are to be involved in the threesome. Talk before the threesome, during and even after. Address what actions are acceptable and what aren’t. Stick to these guidelines during the threesome. Don’t put anyone in a position where they could possibly contract a sexually transmitted disease just for your own pleasure.

Keeping the lines of communication open can seem awkward, but it is essential for a successful threesome. If you’re smart and safe, you and your partner can have a great time with your new partner.