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Why You Can’t Give Her Orgasms With Your Penis

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An orgasm is the icing on the cake for a girl, but many guys don’t get that far once intercourse starts. Here’s why it’s pretty much impossible to consistently give a woman an orgasm using just your penis.

There is a window of time during intercourse when practically only one thing is happening – the THRUSTING. Everything else, the kissing and caressing, virtually ceases. Often, a woman fades to the background as the man interacts solely with her vagina. It’s that point during sex when men appear to be off to their own worlds, expending all energy with genital-on-genital action.

This is easily the man’s favorite part; gladly skipping the foreplay for this – making a “repeating vaginal tourist” of his penis.

It rocks! But, is it a screaming hit for the girl too? Not necessarily.

It Takes Two To Tango

Remember: THERE IS ANOTHER PERSON INVOLVED IN SEX – and that person is a woman, someone incredibly different from you. Just because you’re teetering at Cloud 9 doesn’t mean she is also – as all the furious thrusting could very well do nothing for her!

The vagina itself is not as sensitive as many think. Although nerves that line the vaginal walls sense PRESSURE, bringing with it a pleasurable sensation of being “filled”, it’s just not the screaming ecstasy they make you believe in porn. It’s just not. Many believe that the friction between penis and vaginal walls is what gives Eve these screaming orgasms. But that’s not true!

Unless you chance on her G-spot, a great percentage of women (30%-60%) will never orgasm by penetration alone. Friction alone is not enough, you could pump her ‘til morning but she won’t orgasm from it.

PENETRATION MIGHT BE ONE OF THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAY OF GIVING YOU AN ORGASM but IT’S ALSO ONE OF THE MOST INEFFECTIVE WAYS OF GIVING HER ONE.

It’s the “your pleasure does not necessarily mean my pleasure” drift once again.

How Her Orgasm Is Different

While we don’t want to dive completely into female orgasms, realize this: Men and women need different types of motions to achieve climax. Penetration is YOUR way because the motions involved are similar to male masturbation – so it works for you. Hers is a bit different.

You want to give your girl an orgasm? Penetration is not the most effective way; instead, mimic what happens when she masturbates. Imagine how lesbian couples have fun. No penis there. (Gee, I wonder why.) Dildos are not even a hit. Still, they report high sexual satisfaction ratings.

Talk to bisexuals. They sleep with both teams so they’re in a position to compare. Ask them who’s better, ask them who brings the sizzlers. They’d tell you that the ones without a stick shift often wins the day.

Now, for a man sporting a huge tool, who believes it’s a gift for all womanity, this comes as a surprise. ‘How can that be?!’ – becomes the question.

Well, besides the fact that they know the bodies of fellow women better, which by the way is something we can never take away from them, the lesson here is this: THE PENIS IS NOT NECESSARY FOR HER ORGASM. Otherwise, why would women masturbate? A penis inside her pit could even prevent some from climax.

You don’t need big Jimmy to arouse or satisfy her. Heck, you don’t even need to take her clothes off, much less yours.

To focus on the penis as the source of her well-being is definitely looking at the wrong side of things. Do not look at something in YOUR body. Stop looking down there. Instead, look at HER body. Your penis gives YOU pleasure because it’s lined with nerves that ultimately connect to the pleasure centers of YOUR brain. What gives HER pleasure?

Premature Ejaculation – How Kegels Can Help You Last 20 Minutes Longer In Bed

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Premature ejaculation can mean the end of your sex life. Learn about this simple little exercise that can help YOU last longer in bed by over twenty minutes!

What Are Kegels?

Kegels are the name given to exercising a specific muscle in the body called the PC muscle. The PC muscle is a muscle in the genital area, also known as the pelvic floor muscle. Strong PC muscles can help you prevent premature ejaculation.

How To Locate The PC Muscle

Finding it is easy. When you next go to the bathroom, stop the urine flow mid stream without pinching the head of your penis. The muscle you use to stop the urine flow is what is known as the PC muscle. And just as it can stop the flow of urine it can be trained to stop the flow of ejaculation during orgasm.

The only catch is that stopping ejaculation is more difficult than stopping urine flow and requires two extra critical factors not needed in stopping urine flow; strength and timing. If you don’t get these two critical factors right, then no matter what you do you will not be able to use it to last longer in bed.

On the other hand if you do get them right then you’ll have mastered one of the single most effective methods for lasting longer in bed. So how can you develop your strength and timing? Well firstly, the strength is developed by exercising this muscle, which is also known as performing Kegels.

How Men Perform Kegels

Performing Kegels is relatively simple. It doesn’t take a lot of time. In fact it shouldn’t take more than 10 minutes a day, 5 days a week. What’s even better is that they can be done while doing some other basic tasks like driving or while you’re sitting at a computer.

So really it costs you no extra time to do them. It’s more a case of getting in the habit of doing them, because if you don’t they’ll be too easy to forget to do.

The Kegels Workout

Here’s how I recommend a man workout his Kegels. Locate the area if you haven’t already. Tighten and hold it as tight as you can for 2 seconds, then relax it fully for 2 seconds. Squeeze and hold it as tight as you can for 2 seconds, and relax it again fully for 2 seconds. Repeat this process 10 times to make one “set.” Take a 1 minute break, then repeat steps 2-6. That’s it.

Putting a halt to premature ejaculation really that simple.

Depending on your current strength you may want to increase the intensity of the workout, like doing more reps or sets, but the above is a good starting point. Over time you will want to increase the intensity of your workouts as your pelvic floor area develops more strength.

Just don’t OVER work yourself! The aim is not to injure yourself but to develop your muscle strength so you can stop premature ejaculation.

How To Last Longer In Bed

So assuming you’ve got enough pelvic floor strength (which can take between 1 to 3 weeks to develop) you now need to master your timing to stop premature ejaculation and last longer in bed.

When you learn to stop ejaculation during orgasm what happens is your desire to orgasm again will disappear for anywhere between 1 to 10 minutes (depending on your timing and strength) but you will still maintain your erection. This means you can keep on having sex without the need to immediately orgasm.

And when the desire to orgasm comes up again you can just stop ejaculation a second time and continue again. Overall it’s a very powerful technique for lasting longer in bed.

And once you figure out how to do it it really is as simple as just temporarily stopping your thrusting or the stimulation you’re getting when you’re about to orgasm and squeezing tight on your PC muscle. But to get the timing of the tightening perfect takes practice. If you stop the stimulation and tighten your muscles too early then your ejaculation won’t come and the desire to orgasm will still be there when you start up stimulation again.

If, on the other hand, you tighten your muscle too late then your ejaculation will have built up too much momentum by the time you squeeze your muscle and you won’t be able to stop ejaculation from happening.

So be prepared to fail (which I recommend you do during masturbation before trying it out in the bedroom) before you master it. But taking the time to learn Kegels is well worth the effort, because like I said earlier it is one of the single most powerful techniques for lasting longer in bed.

Dirty Talk Fiascoes To Avoid!

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Dirty talk can end up being a complete failure if you don’t steer clear of these warning signs! If you attempt to jump full throttle in to dirty talk, your partner could wonder where you suddenly came up with the idea and might even think that you’ve been having an affair or watching porn.

Be Honest With Your Partner From The Start

You will need to assure them from the get-go that this is something you want to try with them instead of just springing some hardcore phrases on them during the middle of a romp. A good deal of women are turned off by porn, so try not to emulate what you’ve seen during some of those movies. Lots of them have cheesy lines and actors that aren’t up for Academy Awards for a very good reason.

You could find that your better half finds dirty talk uncomfortable and off-putting. Some consider it to be raunchy and a put down to a person they love. Some heart to heart communication and a give and take attitude between two people who love each other should be able to put the uncomfortable one at ease. Be patient with the partner who has reservations and just use soft pillow talk from time to time to warm them to the idea.

Sometimes dirty talk can be more comical than erotic, depending on what is said and how it is said. It’s okay to laugh! But don’t give up – reread some of the suggestions from time to time if you are feeling like you haven’t quite got it yet.

Be Yourself When Using Dirty Talk

Women, please don’t try to be who you are not. Faking an orgasm and screaming like it’s the best sex you’ve ever had will only cause problems down the road. He’ll wonder why he can’t get you that worked up EVERY time when you get tired of pretending and you will eventually tire of faking it and long to really be satisfied. At that point, and rightly so, he’ll be frustrated and unsure of why he suddenly can’t put you into the throws he saw you ‘act’ your way through before.

When you’re using dirty talk, don’t tell your partner about things you honestly have NO intentions of doing (ie. Threesomes, group sex, farm animals, sex in public, midgets, bondage, etc.) You may find that it triggers some new fantasies or embeds some new images in his or her mind that he or she could continue to ask you to talk about and then want to act them out in real life.

Be aware that it can come across as very insincere. Telling your man, “your penis is so huge,” when in reality is only about 3 inches isn’t going to make him suddenly feel like a stud. Telling her that that you love her massive tits when she is more “grape” than “grapefruit” in size could backfire. Sure, indulge a little but don’t go completely overboard with your exaggeration. In fact, when your lover is overly conscious of his or her size, dirty talk can do amazing things to boost their confidence. Tell the guy with the tiny penis that he rubs your clitoris so perfectly or whisper to your wife that you love being able to put her whole breast in your mouth. Dirty talk gives you the avenue to banish their insecurities and make them eager for more hot sex with you.

Mix It Up

Dirty talk can also become redundant (just like missionary sex day after day after day). Make sure that you don’t use the same phrases, over and over, or trust me, it will have the exact opposite effect and your partner might end up thinking, “Okay, I’ve heard that so many times – please shut up already.”

7 Foreplay Tips That Will Bring Your Lover To The Edge

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Foreplay can often be more satisfying than the sex itself, because it’s the anticipation that is sweeter than relief. These tricks will drive your partner wild!

Slow, Deep Kissing

No, not the slobbery kind. Making out is a heavily underrated foreplay technique, because it is usually seen as what people do when they’re not sexually active. The truth is, deep and slow kissing is a huge turn on even when you know you’re going to have sex later! Keep your saliva in check, but don’t be afraid to slowly explore your partner’s entire mouth. Nibble their lips and kiss them softly on the mouth before engaging in tongue again. Enjoy it and convey to your partner that you are enjoying it and aren’t in any rush at all.

Rubbing Your Hands All Over Their Body

This may seem cliche, but most people don’t do this correctly during foreplay. Having your partner rub their hands all over your body can be extremely thrilling – but most of the time, the touch isn’t soft enough to really send chills down your spine. When you go to rub your hands all over their body, don’t use your entire palm. Instead, use only your fingertips and touch your partner only as hard as you might touch a laptop track pad. This soft touch is what will ignite the nerves in your partner’s skin!

Kissing Their Body

You’ll want to take your mouth along the trails that you made with your hands, but again, remember to do this softly. A nibble and a lick here and there is nice during foreplay, but try to use only your lips when you do this. The softness and warmth of your lips without wetness is extremely enticing. Don’t leave any part of their body uncovered by your mouth – go all the way down their legs and back up again, over their tummy and chest, and back up to their neck, chin and arms. You can even use this as a “body mapping” technique by paying attention to which spots they seems to enjoy the most.

Breath Play

When you’re kissing your partner’s entire body is a great time to engage in breath play. Breathe hot air against the area you just kissed, or lick the area and breathe cool air on it to send an icy shiver down your partner’s spine. Breath play is especially effective around the neck area and ear area, and when you’re kissing.

Oral Sex

Oral sex is an essential part of foreplay because it not only conveys a lot of emotion (which is necessary for women), it also creates immense pleasure for both girls and guys. Make sure that your foreplay routine never, ever skips over oral sex. Depending on what you and your partner want to do, you can use oral sex as a tease (don’t bring your partner to orgasm) or you can use it to give your partner an orgasm to prep them for multiples later (this is usually done with women and can make sex absolutely explosive!)

Teasing Penetration

Teasing penetration is an intense form of foreplay that is just as hot for the guy as it is the girl. After you’ve done oral sex, kissing and touching and you’re ready for sex – but not quite ready to give in to the anticipation yet – teasing penetration will keep the fires burning but satisfy your need to be closer to each other. During teasing penetration, the male partner will enter the female’s vagina, but only a little at a time. Short, light thrusts that only put the head in are incredible for both him and her, and either partner can control this. If she wants to tease him, she can hold his hips to prevent him from going in further and if he wants to tease her, he can simply pull out. This form of teasing will almost always end in sex because at some point, the need and desire overwhelms both the man and woman!

Backing Off From Orgasm

If you haven’t completely lost all your senses yet in a cloud of bliss and passion from all the foreplay, you may still want to prolong the actual finale. Tease your partner by reducing the amount of stimulation (whatever it is at this point) when you feel they are close to orgasm – you will also want to do this when you feel like you’re getting close to orgasm. Resume kissing or teasing, until you’re both cooled off enough to continue without reaching orgasm immediately. This time frame will get more narrow as you continue – eventually when you resume sexual activity you’ll blow immediately, or you’ll just get to the point where you’re completely powerless to stop it.

Oral Sex: Why The Ladies Love It

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Oral sex isn’t just something guys love – women crave it too! Here’s why chicks dig oral sex and how YOU can satisfy their needs!

It is a well known fact that oral sex is extremely pleasurable for a man. The irrefutable evidence permeates our society from sexual innuendos in commercials to adult films and pornography. It is true that a man will not let a woman who gives great fellatio go far and for many men, oral sex is the cornerstone of a sexual relationship. Unfortunately, oral sex for women (called cunnilingus) doesn’t get quite as much publicity as fellatio does, in spite of the fact that it is more pleasurable for a woman to receive oral sex than it is for a man.

It’s Actually More Pleasurable For A Girl

Come again? Yes, you heard right. The amount of pleasure experienced by a woman when receiving oral sex is much greater than the pleasure experienced by a man receiving oral sex. How is this possible? The surface area of a man’s penis greatly exceeds the surface area of the clitoris; therefore oral sex for a man must feel better. Well, not exactly. Packed into that tiny little clitoris in a woman’s vulva is a whopping eight thousand nerve endings! We guarantee that isn’t something you learned in Sex Ed! Yes, the clitoris has almost two times the amount of nerve endings than a penis does and is the most sensitive part of the human body (both male and female). If the clitoris is such a big deal, how come we haven’t heard much about it until now?

This is where a little bit of psychology comes into play. It is a woman’s nature to give and give without ever receiving. It is unlikely that she will ever ask or tell you that she would like to experience cunnilingus – women just aren’t wired that way. She may give clues like freshening up down south or making suggestive comments, but since men take such a direct approach to everything, it is quite possible that he will miss these clues entirely.

Oral Sex Will Give Women Better Orgasms Too

Rest assured, however, that nearly all women love to be gone down on, for both physical and emotional reasons. The physical, of course, is obvious – by directly stimulation her clitoris with a hot, wet mouth, she will most likely experience more powerful, intense and longer lasting orgasms than with intercourse alone. Emotionally, during cunnilingus the woman is the center of attention – nothing matters more at that moment than her pleasure. Many women today balance both careers and a family and in between her screaming boss and putting dinner on the table, there isn’t much time left for her. For a woman, cunnilingus is like a mini-vacation where she can finally forget her daily routine and nagging to-do list while her body releases the pent up tension from the day.

The Proof

A study involving ninety-eight married women as described in Sex: A Man’s Guide, ranked cunnilingus or oral sex as the most enjoyable and gratifying sexual act – eighty-two percent of these married women feel that receiving cunnilingus outranks any other sexual act! Only sixty-eight percent of the women felt that intercourse was very pleasurable and believe it or not, these women experienced an orgasm only twenty-five percent of the time! That means that out of every four times these women engaged in a sexual act, only once did they reach orgasm! During oral sex, however, these same women reached orgasm a whopping eighty-one percent of the time. There’s solid proof that cunnilingus is the most surefire way to give a woman an orgasm. In a similar study by Kinsey and Masters and Johnson, only 7.7 percent of women did not reach an orgasm if their husbands spent more than twenty-one minutes engaging in foreplay and oral sex.

Okay, so we’ve made our point. Cunnilingus is the ultimate form of sex for a woman – hands down! You can go down on your partner before you enter her, or you can surprise her and make cunnilingus the main event for an evening. Either way you choose to do it, know that you will ultimately strengthen your relationship and get closer to your partner than you ever were before.