Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for sex tips

Why 69 Can Improve Your Sex Life

By

Oral sex in the 69 position is something many couples try, but don’t do regularly. Why? It can totally revamp your sex life! Here’s what you’ve been missing out on.

69 is a great position for giving each of your mutual pleasure. While the 69 position can be great for foreplay, not enough couples use it to bring the both of you to orgasm. Most people think of this as a starter position or something to get the ball rolling for the “real sex.” The fact of the matter is that the 69 position is great for foreplay or for bringing the both of you to orgasm. 69 can improve your sex life immensely. 69 allows the both of you to enjoy giving and getting all at the same time. Here are some ways that you can improve your sex life through the 69 position.

1. The Woman’s Advantage

The 69 position has a significant advantage for girls. Men love to see the most intimate parts or woman’s body from behind. While you are in this position your partner Will be able to give you oral sex from a view that he will love. This will also give you control over how deep you want your vagina on his mouth. A man can please you while you are pleasing him, bringing you both to orgasm with a view that he will never grow tired of. This position will also give you sensations that aren’t commonly felt when your partner goes down on you the traditional way.

2. The Male Advantage

Getting a blowjob is something that all guys relish. However, the problem with having a girl give you oral sex is that she doesn’t get anything out of it. With the 69 position, you both getting you what you want. When she is on top of you, she will give you different sensations just by the angle that your penis is at when it goes into her mouth. This angle is not something that is typically felt unless you are engaging in 69.

3. The Side By Side

A variation of the 69 position, the side by side position allows the both of you to give and get, but without the hassles of gravity. Traditional 69 will leave a girl’s legs tired and her knees irritated. If you are looking for an easier way to achieve the benefits of 69 but without all of the stresses, the side by side is a great way to go. Simply lie on your side and get into the 69 position. This going to put more weight on your side, but you will be able to shift the shift by bracing against your partner’s legs. This will also give you better access to the small of your partner’s back and their butt.

4. Anal

If your girlfriend or wife is into anal, the 69 position will allow you to play with her anus. One of the best techniques to employ is to use a sex toy on her anus as you give her oral sex to her vagina. Not all women are going to be into this so make sure that your wife or girlfriend is up for it before you try it out. If your wife or girlfriend is into analingus, you will also be to easily go from her vagina and clitoris to her anus while you are in the 69 position.

5. Intimacy

69 can easily improve your sex life because it can build intimacy. Not making the night about having the best sex of your life takes away a lot of pressure. This allows the both of your take things slow and forget the rush of pumping away at each other. 69 rarely requires any kind of lube so it can easily be employed from other foreplay methods such as kissing. If you don’t want to take this position all the way to the end, you will be able to easily reposition into sex.

6. Prostate Massages

Another benefit of using the 69 position is that you can give your boyfriend or husband a prostate massage without having to change positions. Whether you are on top or on bottom, you will access to his anus without making much of a fuss. Not all guys are into prostate massages, however, if your partner is, you might want to use this position the next time he gets the urge. If you are going to give your guy a prostate massage from this position, make sure that you have a lot of lube near by and that he knows what you’re about to do. There is nothing stranger than when you feel a girl start to to a little more north that you’re used to.

Hot New Twists On Classic Sex Games!

By

Sex games that have been done over and over can be boring. But you can try these sexy new ways to do old sex games and have tons of fun!

Food Games

Every once in a while, choose culinary delights to accompany your intimate enterprise. In the field of food alone, there’s of myriad things to do – so long as the couple is not afraid of getting messy. Practically anything set on a table and served on a plate can be eaten off the human body. Practically anything a hand can hold can be fed to your lady.

But don’t feast ‘til the tank’s full, that’ll only make you sleepy, you might as well forego the sex. In this context, food exists to tease the senses – not just the tongue, but also the skin, eyes and nose. Work your appetite with torrid sex, then eat to your heart’s content during the Afterplay dates.

Food can get messy, especially if you have food fight in the agenda. I suggest you buy a special mattress exclusively for sex play, something that doesn’t absorb liquid or stain. You can use the ones they have in gyms, lay it on the floor and you’re good to go – you won’t have to worry about going to the cleaners in the morning.

Besides ice, mints, candy, wine, strawberries and whipped cream, here are other food ideas:

  1. Chinese food – Work the grease on each other. This may not be your idea of romance, but who knows, it might be your idea of fun. It will feel odd initially, but then you’ll remember how wonderful it was to be in a sandbox. Play and eat, be a child once again. Finish the messy affair by lathering each other in the shower. Get ready for some serious action after.
  2. Sauces – See how adorable she looks with some sauce on her face. (Don’t use too much, licking it all off can be nauseating.) Liquids are mainstays during foreplay, when penetration is not the main issue. Getting foreign liquids into the vagina may disturb the pH balance inside, so be careful not to drip anything in. Finally, cleaning up is as important as getting messy, make sure you still approach it with childish fun.
  3. Fruits – There are messy fruits, there are easy fruits – take your pick. Consider the issue of seeds, pulp and flow of juices.

Role Playing

Pepper your encounters with role playing and themes by putting on your best acting pants and pretend you are making love like different couples.

A very big warning though: WHEN THE GAME STOPS, WHEN IT’S ALL OVER, YOU HAVE TO STOP PLAYING THE PART – don’t get carried away. Moreover, never hurt, abuse or threaten your partner – I don’t care what the role you’re playing is. Keep it light, playful and flirtatious.

  • Doctor & Nurse
  • Dentist & Assistant
  • Judge & Lawyer
  • Boss & Secretary
  • Rockstar & Groupie
  • Superstar Athlete & Reporter
  • Business Tycoon & French maid

Of course, it can also go the other way and women can play the dominant role:

  • Hot Teacher & Naïve Student
  • Amazon Boss & “Let’s see if you’re really gay” Assistant
  • Horny Mistress & Pizza Boy
  • Beauty Queen & Pool Boy
  • Horny Heiress & Hunky Gardener

Mix & match, and make your own. Try Astronaut and Alien!

Sex Toys

There’s a legion of sex toys available in the market today – some of them will work for you, others are better off as home decors. But you will find that those that rub you the right way are really heaven sent.

Toys don’t get tired or think that the kitty tastes awful. They simply do their job and allow both of you to enjoy the fruits of their labor. Vibrators and butt plugs don’t compete with you, they aid in your pleasure and are on your team. Many get threatened with sex gadgets. It’s the “Why, am I not enough?” feeling that nips on the egos of men.

But there’s really nothing to be insecure about. You are definitely better than any toy – more delightful than any battery-operated device. Toys might bring her orgasms, but they are only physical implements devoid of psychological warmth.

You’re different – you’re a fumbling, sometimes clueless, ball of fun! So don’t think twice of employing toys, it’s not cheating. It’s simply admitting to being human. Face it, you can’t vibrate your tongue or fingers as rhythmically and tirelessly as any garden-variety vibrator. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

To spice up sex toys, try masturbating in public, in a discreet way. Bring a quiet vibrator to a movie theater, or masturbate in your car on a long drive. Wear a pair of quiet, vibrating panties to a business meeting and try your hardest to keep a straight face! When it comes to sex toys, use your imagination to bring life to old, played out toys.

3 Premature Ejaculation Misconceptions You Must Not Believe!

By

Premature ejaculation is often misunderstood. Clear the air and learn the truth about PE with these three untruths!

Almost three quarters of men are affected by premature ejaculation at some stage in their lives. Unfortunately, a lack of understanding of this sexual dysfunction has led to the birth of several misconceptions regarding this condition. If you have been suffering from the embarrassing problem of early ejaculation, you need to familiarize yourself with these false notions FIRST, before you have any chance of turning the tables on PE.

1. Premature Ejaculation Is Caused By A Weakened Libido

In fact, the reverse is true! Ejaculating early is often the result of getting too excited too fast. If you have a super responsive pleasure system, you are more likely to suffer from PE – which usually happens to young men (especially those in their early 20’s) who have absolutely no problems with their libido. The problem arises when men are unable to exert control on their arousal at the right time. This is what causes the male sexual arousal to peak in a hurry, resulting in a premature ejaculation.

The best way for you to avoid PE is to exercise your pelvic muscles and gain superior control over your arousal.

2. Mental Manipulation Is A Wonderful Way To Prevent An Early Climax

Not true. Think about this for a moment: What is the purpose of having sex if you are going to avoid the pleasure by putting your mind somewhere else? There are a number of ‘experts’ who would advise you to think about other things during sex so that you can avoid a premature ejaculation. This is NOT the best solution, and hardly practical at all if you truly want to enjoy sex.

3. There Are Quick Fixes To Cure PE

There is NO quick fix that can secure a permanent solution to your problem. Although there are some pills, desensitizing sprays or climax control condoms that can give you an instant boost in staying power, these solutions are really more of a clutch than a real cure. You can try out all the so called libido boosters and enhancers but again, these are not permanent solutions. By and large, premature ejaculation can be permanently treated only through a combination of natural techniques such as Kegel exercises and mental arousal control.

Get yourself acquainted with these myths and misconceptions about premature ejaculation. That is the first important step towards banishing PE from the bedroom and achieving a respectable sexual stamina to boot!

4 Myths About Bondage

By

Bondage is gaining popularity, but there are many misconceptions about it. Check out these four untruths you didn’t know about bondage.

Bondage is pleasure-inflicting, fun and, most of all, safe, as long as you’re both aware of your roles and never cross the line.

The bound person finds it exciting because it provides him/her the opportunity to be ‘lazy’ but get all the attention at the same time; the only thing he or she has to do is relax and enjoy what his or her partner has in stall for the evening.

There is also the pleasure of suspense, of waiting to see what is going to happen next, where the dominator will decide to touch and how he is going to do it. Consensual, agreed on bondage gives the one that is dominated a paradox of feelings, which is quite enthusiastically perceived by the lovers of such a sexual activity; it puts you in state of vulnerability, but also gives you security, because the one that is doing it is a loved and trustworthy person. It’s a sort of a calm and serene surrender. A surrender that engenders new heights of sexual arousal.

For the one that does the ‘bonding’ however, it’s more about power in its purest physical and psychological form. No one else but you is really in charge in this particular erotic scenario. The visual appeal of having complete control over the other, tying him or her up and listening to him or her begging for ‘mercy’ is undeniable. His or her body is there for you to tease and please as you see fit.

Since I’m pretty much assuming that you’re aroused by now by the mere thought of trying it as soon as possible, I’ve put together a few comments and explanation so that you don’t fail from the first try, and, most importantly, don’t hurt anybody in the process, either physically or emotionally.

1. It’s Perverted

People involved in BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadomasochism) aren’t perverts who enjoy harming others, this is a prejudice older than Buddha and it makes me mad whenever I see that there are still people who think like that. Every couple can experiment with bondage if they are determined to change the “vanilla” setting of their love life with something hotter and spicier. Exploring your sexuality is something to be desired, not ostracized.

2. The Toys Are Violent

In itself, no sex toy is ever violent or abusive. The way you choose to use them can be, though. If you spank your girlfriend or tie her to the bed without her initial consent, then you’re in deep trouble mister, but you don’t need me to tell you that. If your action and intention are harmless, the toy is too. If you use it carefully and how it should be used, the only “violence” you’ll get is that of your partner’s orgasm.

3. It’s Addictive

People with obsessive-compulsive tendencies become addicted to their own behavior, whatever that behavior is. Bondage is not an illness or a drug, to become addicted to. If you have a fetish for this kind of sexual activity, it’s normal to want to do it more often than not, and if your partner consents to it or likes it just as much as you, bondage can be explored for as long as you like, without being considered to be an addiction.

4. People Who Like It Were Abused

Bondage is not a crime and people who want to experiment with it should not be made to feel guilty about it. As long as you are well informed about it, take responsibility for your pleasure and not listen to traditional authoritarian voices that belong to the past.

How To Choose The BEST Lube!

By

Lube comes in all different kinds, consistencies, flavors and formulas. Here’s how to select the best one for what you’re going to be doing.

You’ve decided to go ahead and get some lube, but there are so many different kinds out there that it’s completely overwhelming! What kind do you get? How much money do you have to spend? Should you get one, two or four bottles? Should you get different kinds or stock up on one kind? Here’s what you want to know about what kind of lube to get for what you want to use it for.

Water Based

What It Is: Water based lubricant is just that – a lubricant made with mostly water and other inert ingredients. Water based lube feels the most natural, although it can come in both slippery thin versions and thick gel versions. It’s the most condom compatible lube and the easiest to wash off. It almost never stains sheets!

Don’t Use With: Underwater sex or sex in the shower. It will rinse away almost immediately.

Best For: Vaginal sex, use with sex toys

Silicone

What It Is: Silicone lube is not water based – it’s made from silicone (a type of plastic) and is typically “oilier” feeling than water based lube. (Never use oil for lube – it will ruin any latex product including condoms). It lasts longer and doesn’t wash away that easily. It requires washing off with soap and water and can be more difficult to get out of intimate areas like the vagina. It can also stain sheets and clothing, so be careful!

Don’t Use With: Silicone sex toys. Silicone + silicone doesn’t mix – it will degrade the toy and the outside will start to get sticky and gross looking!

Best For: Underwater sex, anal sex

All Natural/Hypoallergenic

What It Is: For sensitive women, there are “all natural” or “hypoallergenic” lubricant formulas available. Some are even considered “organic.” Most, if not all of them are water based, since silicone can be more irritating to some individuals. All natural lubes are usually unscented and feel very natural.

Don’t Use With: Nothing. These lubes are very versatile!

Best For: Women with very sensitive vaginal tissues, or men who have sensitive penises. Also good for couples who simply desire to use lubricant that is closest to their own natural bodily fluids.

Flavored

What It Is: Flavored lube is almost always water based, since consumers typically associate flavored lube with “edible lube.” And it usually is edible, although there isn’t really a lubricant out there that doesn’t taste like some sort of poorly flavored plastic. It’s tolerable though, if you must use lube during oral sex. However, the scents are what make flavored lube so great! They come in a variety of scents like chocolate, mint, strawberry and more. When using them for anal sex, the scents can come in handy when covering up any unwanted body odors.

Don’t Use With: Some flavored lubes are made with sugar, which can cause yeast infections in women. Read your labels carefully!

Best For: Oral sex or anytime you want a better smelling lubricant

Desensitizing Lube

What It Is: Desensitizing lubricant is a special formula with “numbing” ingredients that numb the surface of the skin it’s applied to for a short period of time. This type of lube was created specifically with anal sex in mind, but should not be used for this.

Don’t Use With: Anything! Desensitizing lube was created with anal sex in mind, since anal sex tends to be painful when not done correctly. However, if you use this type of lube with anal sex, it can prevent you from feeling pain – which can be a very, very bad thing contrary to popular belief.

You may think you want to numb yourself against feeling pain during anal sex, but you need to be aware if something hurts while you’re engaging in that type of activity. Tearing and bleeding can occur and when severe, require immediate medical attention. If you can’t feel what’s going on, you may not know there’s an issue until it’s too late.

Best For: Nothing, really. You can’t use it for oral sex because you don’t want a numb tongue (what good would that do?) and you don’t want your lover to have a numb vagina and clitoris either. You can use it if you’re a particularly fast ejaculator, but it’s not going to numb you to feeling the pressure of stroking during intercourse, which is typically what causes a man to orgasm anyways. It may buy you a minute or two, but it’s not really worth it.

Stimulating Lubricants

What It Is: Like desensitizing lubes, stimulating lubricants are either water or silicone based lubes that are made with special ingredients to stimulate the vagina or penis during sex. There are warming lubes or cooling lubes, both of which provide a tingling sensation. Some formulas of warming lubes get really, really hot and can burn quite a bit, while most cooling lubes aren’t as strong. These can be fun to play with!

Don’t Use With: Oral sex. Do you really want your tongue to be on fire?

Best For: Experimenting with a drop or two on the penis or the clitoris. Fun for handjobs! Use in moderation.

What Not To Use

Oils

Never, ever use oil based products like olive oil, coconut oil, baby oil or mineral oil during sex. These will break down latex condoms and latex sex toys faster than you can say, “Oh ****!” Technically, you “can” use oils like this if you’re in a monogamous sexual relationship with someone and you are both STD free and are either trying for a baby or are protected against pregnancy in other ways (such as birth control), but water and silicone based lubricants are so much better and more natural feeling. They’re also easier to wash off!

Saliva

Saliva is NOT lube. No matter how many times you’ve used it in a “pinch” and it’s worked okay, it’s just not the same. It doesn’t last as long, there’s usually not enough of it and it’s really not that erotic to be smearing your spit all over yourself and your girl’s vagina during sex. Just get some lube, okay?

Lotion

Lotion isn’t lube either. You may have used it during masturbation and sure it was thick, but it was better than nothing, right? It’s not going to work that way if you’re with a woman. It’s too thick and it will likely irritate her delicate vaginal tissues. Lotion is meant for the outside, not the inside.

Food Products Like Mayonnaise, Etc.

If the thought of using condiments like mayo for lube makes you shudder and sends you running in the other direction, good for you! However, people have been known to use whatever they have on hand instead of just going out and buying a bottle of damn lube. It’s ridiculous, yes. But it happens. Mayo and other condiments can have oil in them, so refer back to why you should not use oil as a lubricant during sex. Also, using condiments (unless it’s licking chocolate sauce off her nipples) during sex is just plain nasty.

Vaseline/Petroleum Jelly

These are oil based products. Read the label.

Lube is a great item to have on hand and it can be found almost everywhere, including your local supermarkets and drugstores. It’s inexpensive and you don’t have to be a certain age to buy it. Try several different brands, types and consistencies to find out what works for you and your partner! Sampler packs are great for this because it allows you to try different brands without spending money and wasting an entire bottle of lube if you find that you don’t like something. Above all, have fun with it because that’s what it’s all about!