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Is Your Sex Life Dead?

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Sex tips are a great way to spice up a dull sexual relationship – but has yours passed “dull” and seems unrevivable? If so, check out these simple tips!

What She Said:

Sex is always the first thing to go when relationships are going sour. But, it can also have peaks and valleys during relationships. The difference between having a dry spell or being in a bad relationship is being able to distinguish between the two. When it is just a lull in the relationship, then both of you are still into each other but might be stressed out, or busy but you two don’t avoid talking about your lack of an intimate life.

Most importantly you are able to talk about how bad you want each other, even when you can’t have each other. When sex is really dead, you don’t talk about it. One or both of you might start holding on to a grudge or hurt feelings, but you don’t look for solutions. And if one partner brings up the subject, the other partner avoids talking about it or changes the subject. Every relationship has a honeymoon stage where you two go at like like rabbits. In time, the honeymoon stage dies down and you guys might get into a comfy routine.

There is nothing wrong with routine but there should always be a spark between the two of you. You should always be trying new things and constantly changing things up. Another sign of a dead sex life is when it stops feeling good or neither one of you are excited about it. You might find yourself avoiding your partner so you don’t have to have sex or being in the middle of it and bored out of your mind.

If you find yourself agreeing to have sex because your partner did something nice or its been a few weeks and you should just do it, then your sex life is dead. Sex changes in intensity and frequency but if you find yourself dreading sleeping with him, avoiding it, or worse he is turning you down and avoiding you, then the sex life is dead.

What He Said:

Are you still having sex? If so, then your sex life isn’t technically dead. That said, if you’re having intercourse because you know you’re supposed to or you only give him a blowjob because you have to because it’s his birthday then this is not so good of a sign.

If you aren’t having sex any more, it may be because of duties, pressures, or obligations, or it could mean you’re falling out of love with your partner. That doesn’t mean you’re going to cheat or that you should break up, just that you might want to take some time and really think about your relationship’s honeymoon phase and what made you fall in love with that person in the first place (or fall in lust, depending on the nature of the relationship). The more you can recall those memories, the richer more vibrant they begin to appear in your mind, the better.

You will need to talk to your partner. Communication is key here, and so is effort. You will both have to “work” to bring the sexy back and it may take time. I say “work” because it’s not really work, just dedicated, consistent effort. You don’t have to work to make your car go, you just put gas in the tank and turn the key.

The same will be need for your sex life. Wild, hot nasty sex can mean many things anal sex, oral sex, wife swapping or swinging or just a quickie during half time. Figure out what your mutually agreed definition is and work backwards and give yourself time to get it back, it will come, but don’t put any pressure on yourselves. Try and make the rediscovery of your passion a fun and enjoyable process.

Sooner rather than later you’ll be enjoying wild, hot, nasty vacation style sex that would make porn stars feel shy and inhibited. But don’t compare yourselves to them or anyone else. If you both only really want to do it once a month, and you’re both okay with that, great! But if you want more, say it, and then do it. It may take a bit of practice, but hey, that’s the fun part, right?

Dirty Talk For Guys – What They REALLY Want To Hear

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Dirty talk will turn a man on like you wouldn’t believe! Here’s what to say to rev his engines and really get him going.

What She Said

Guys are visual creatures so it’s understood that once a lady is naked, he’s not listening to a word you are saying. Then again, even when women are fully clothed, guys have a hard time listening. All jokes aside, there are things women can say that men love to hear. A good place to start is with his best friend (and hopefully yours) his penis.

Praise him for how big it is and how it makes you feel. Regardless of the size, you should tell him it’s the biggest you have ever seen and even letting out a squeal of delight when you first lay eyes on it is a plus. While having sex you can exaggerate your moans and heavy breathing but be careful, there is a fine line between expressing your enjoyment and sounding like a porn star. Saying his name is also a super hot thing to do, as long as you remember what his name is.

Also throwing in some dirty talk is great! You don’t have to know that to say when it comes to dirty talk, you can just describe to him how amazing he is making you feel or even graphically tell him how bad or hard you want it. Words like “hot, wet, throbbing” are also good. Guys love to have their ego stroked and are competitive creatures and they want to know they can get you off and please you.

Basically the right things to say are anything that inflates his ego! Telling him he feels huge, or is the best you have ever had is a major win. Make your man feel like a superhero. If you really want to turn up the heat, saying, “Oh God, I am going to come,” will send him through the roof! So only, use that phrase when you have gotten what you want and are ready for your big strong stud of a man to come too.

What He Said

It be one part porn star, one part weather reporter. It should be hot and nasty (if you think you’re going to dirty or blue, you aren’t going far enough. This is where you tell him how amazing he and his baby maker are, in great, great detail. It’s almost too much to handle, feels so great, you may be sore tomorrow, you might walk funny tomorrow, it’s hitting your g-spot, etc.

Also, you should be like the weather channel: constant updates. If he’s doing it right, tell him. If he needs to touch your clitoris, be sure to let him know. He wants to rock your world more than you want him to, so give him the verbal cues he needs. Hell, draw him a map if you have to. Engraved invitations are good too. Remember to be careful how you phrase this. Don’t tell him he’s doing anything wrong, even if he is. Tell him it would be really hot if he did (fill in the blank).

Basically, your job is to make him feel like the most amazing stud lover on the planet, one that every woman wants but only you have (unless you’re in an open relationship or into swinging, and that’s another column). If you do a good job of it, you’ll be rewarded, day and night. Every man loves to feel like God’s gift to the vagina (gay men not so much) and I would encourage you to go into great detail about how he rocks your world like no other.

You don’t have to lie, that may not be the best idea either. Focus on what he’s legitimately good at and work from there. He’s really eager to learn to do you better. Focus on not just doing it during naked time but giving clues on how to improve in terms of comments you make during boom boom time. He’ll probably pick up quicker than you think and if he doesn’t, just keep dropping hints, and be less and less subtle.

Make him feel like the king of your castle. That’s really what all this boils down to. Men love to feel strong just as much as women love to feel safe and secure. You should do that, and use language that would make Prince blush.

Sex Toys To Increase Your Orgasmic Power

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Sex toys can be a lot of fun to play with and can help you have an even better orgasm. Here are the sex toys you need to try!

What She Said:

I know what people say about diamonds, but when it comes down to it, sex toys really are a girls best friend. A good sex toy, is always there for you, always available, never tires and most importantly never asks you if “it was good for you?” You can also find sex toys pretty much everywhere, and in every size. They are easy to buy, easy to store and a hell of fun to use! Finding the right one takes a little bit of research and some trial and error, but when you find the right one, or even the not so right one, its still pretty damn fun. I think a basic vibrator is the perfect sex toy for most women.

They are relatively cheap to buy and depending on the size, can be used for clitoris and vaginal orgasms. If you want to get high tech, and want something more than just a basic vibrating love rod, then the rabbit vibrator is a good choice. If you are embarrassed about purchasing a sex toy (although it is super hot and all women should have at least one) then you can find many vibrating options that are labeled “personal massagers.” One of those most praised is called the Hitachi personal massage wand. This guy is fantastic!

Not only will a simple vibrator send you through the roof, it can also be used with your partner and not come across as intimidating. You could use the vibrator to show him how and where you like to be touched, or he can explore your body with it. While having sex you can place the vibrator on your clit while he enters you, that way you both can feel the vibrations. A good vibrator can help a women reach a stronger orgasm, with her man or alone. Just don’t forget to get batteries!

What He Said:

As far as sex toys go, you really can’t go wrong with a liberator wedge or the tantric sex chair. Both are simple “marital aids” that allow you to position both you and your partner in new and exciting sex positions which make the intercourse better, and allow the man (or woman with a strap on) to get access to the vagina that they wouldn’t normally be able to hit from that specific angle, which allows for deeper penetration and better sex which of course results in the desired orgasm, but a way more powerful and intense orgasm than you are used to.

There are tons of different liberator models in every size, shape and price range. The number of options can be a little overwhelming, but there are a great number of videos on the site as well which can help you decide between the different models and, more importantly, show you the many exiciting applications of the liberator models.

The tantric sex chair is a bit more pricy. It’s a tantric sex chair which is really more like a tantric couch or love sex. It’s desired for amazing oral sex positions, anal sex positions and for intercourse that is anything but plain jane or average. It’s very expensive, but it’s custom made and shipped straight to you. It’s a wild ride, literally and figuratively. It’s a great sex toy that is worth it’s weight in gold, and the tantric sex chair website is chock full of naughty videos featuring beautiful naked people using the sex chair which can give you amazing ideas on how to use it.

You can’t go wrong with handcuffs and blindfolds. There’s something amazing that happens when a person is restrained and cut off from their sense of vision. It forces their other senses to be heightened and that increased sense of touch is what can lead to increadibly stronger and intense orgasms.

Hypnosis is another good tool as well. Sex and orgasms happen in the mind and if you’re a girl who things she cant have an orgasm, you’re right. Hypnosis can unlock the mind which will allow you to experience the intense mind blowing orgasms you’ve always dreamed of.

And yes, a girl needs her vibrator, but ease your man into sex toy play. Maybe give him the remote control to the vibrator and wear it out to dinner. Let him control the remote control and watch him enjoy things. Then move forward from there.

Is Sex On The First Date A Big Mistake?

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Sex on the very first date – is it something you shouldn’t do or does it even matter? Here’s the truth about the right time to have sex!

What She Said:

This question drives me crazy! NO NO NO!!! Sex on a first date is not a mistake!! Sexual chemistry is fantastic and if you find yourself drawn to a guy physically on a first date, why not jump his bones? The thing is, if you wait to sleep with a guy until a certain amount of dates or a certain amount of time, you are just putting off the inevitable. What if you invest all that time in a guy and then you get to having sex and you hate it? Maybe he can’t keep a boner, or came too soon, or wanted to wear your panties or wanted you to dress up like a chicken. Or maybe he is just a terrible lay.

Wouldn’t you want to know that in the beginning? So why wait all this time for bad sex? Worse, what if you started to fall for him and then you find out the sex is terrible? Sex should be just like every aspect of a relationship; you want to know if you are similar in your values, ideas, likes and sexual compatibility. Besides, most guys don’t know if they truly like a girl until they have been inside her. By skipping the waiting period before you have sex, you are saving you both time and money.

That being said, if you are on a first date and have absolutely nothing in common with this guy except for the heat between the two of you, might as well have a night of fun, no strings attached sex! Now, if you do like the guy and he likes you, having sex on the first date isn’t going to change that. Any guy that would consider you a slut for sleeping with him on a first date is not worth your time, so again you weed through the crappy men out there.

In all honesty, sex is great weather it’s a first date or a 7th, I just think you should get to it sooner whether then later, you might as well test out the merchandise before you commit to buying.

What He Said:

People seem to think that if you make a guy wait, you’re more likely to make him stick around. If he’s going to bail after he hits it, he’s going to bail after he hits it. Delaying intercourse won’t change that. That’s not something you can control. You can’t control other people. He may be a lying creep, or he may be a legitimately good guy who will hang around.

And if he is the good guy, all the more reason to screw his brains out as early and as often as possible. A little bit of hot steamy intercourse goes a long way in making a guy all about you (and by a “little” I mean “a lot.”) Be safe, of course. That is extremely important to say, and it can’t be understated. That being said, just let go and get naughty.

Life is a journey and love is the ultimate drug. But don’t make love a destination, enjoy the ride. You will find it, sooner or later, being patient is difficult. But practice is important. The more relationships you have, the more you learn, the more skilled you get, and the more tools you have in your arsenal and the better you are and the better prospective partner you can grab. And if the guy has performance issues, don’t just kick him to the curb.

Give him another chance, or maybe get him cock ring if you’re into him, or maybe that little blue pill. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. You can always work with that situation. I’ve always maintained for a long term relationship the person attached to the genitalia is always the most important part (no pun intended. Okay, maybe a little intended)

Whenever you choose to screw someone is totally cool. As long as you’re doing it because that’s what feels right. If you’ve got some arbitrary number in your head, that’s when it’s not right.

And remember, never, ever play hard to get. Men do not like the “thrill of the hunt.” They like the “thrill of the hump.” Hand it to them on a silver platter and he’ll be way more likely to stick around.

Things Not To Do After A Breakup

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A breakup is tough for everyone involved – but you’ve got to have some dignity afterwards! Here’s what you need to avoid when you’ve been through a breakup.

What She Said:

Regardless of who ended it, its over. If it was your choice to end it, you must have had a good reason, and I hope you are feeling pretty confident about your choice. But, if it was him who broke your heart, you might be a hot mess of a woman. So, here are some things you should not do after a breakup that will help you heal.

Basically the last thing you want to do is act like Bridget Jones for weeks on end. Yes, you should take a few days to mourn the lose of a lover, but then you need to get your shit and yourself together. In order to do that, do not pour yourself a bottle of wine, play Alanis Morissette and cry into his favorite t-shirt. If he dumped you, you need to dump anything and everything that reminds you of him. Do not spend hours looking at photos of the two of you! That will just lead to you asking yourself where you went wrong, or asking yourself what you could have done differently.

That is all a waste of time, energy and will make you feel more depressed. You should also stop all forms of communication or means of communicating with him. Do not call, text or email him. I don’t care how drunk you are, believe me, there is no really cute story that he wants to hear, no funny joke he wants to hear, and he does not need to know that you thought about him. He will not be amused. Along that same idea, DO NOT Facebook stalk him. Do not check his Facebook page, his new photos or read into his status updates. You might even just go ahead and de-friend him.

It’s not easy, but holding on to ideas of him, or of his things or even just holding on to hope is not going to help you get over this breakup. The best thing to do is get back out there in the world! Go out with your girlfriends, live it up and be single again. While you’re at it, call up that guy you have always had a crush on and have some rebound sex. Like the old saying goes, the best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else.

What He Said:

It’s always best to rip the band aid off as opposed to removing it slowly. Get it over with. Cut off all ties immediately. Who cares why it happened? You’ll never really know and if you do find out you will probably wish you didn’t. Cut all ties. I mean everything. Delete their number from your phone. Cut all social media ties.

If they gave you something, get rid of it. It should be like a military cover-up: the relationship should be as if it never happened. Of course it did, you’re not lying to yourself, but you want to get rid of the reminders. You will still have the memories, but you don’t want anything around that triggers them, if you can avoid it.

Keep your mouth shut. Sure, you may want to talk about it with a friend or whatever, but do not blog about it. Do not post about what a jerk this person was on your Facebook, don’t do standup based on your relationship. You will only look like the idiot. It may feel good to do, but that’s it. You’ll look like the ass, and guess what? You will be.

Keep your mouth shut and speak only in positive, philosophical terms, if someone brings it up (everything happens for a reason, we just weren’t a good match, I wish him/her the best, etc). Obviously if they stole your couch or something, yes, call the cops, but assuming there isn’t a criminal element to your relationship, just move on, quietly, confidently and as positive as possible.

This is not to say you sugar coat anything, but if they’re that much of a jerk, shouldn’t you be happy it’s over? Don’t go away mad, just go away. Cut your losses (or count your wins, as the case may be), and go forward. And by all means, have sex with someone new as soon as possible. You should do the first new partner you can, even if you’re against hooking up with random people. It’s very important for the healing process. Seriously.