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Erotic Massage: Creating A Soothing & Relaxing Environment

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Erotic massage preps your girl for amazing orgasms – but she won’t be able to relax if the room you’re in isn’t right. Find out how to set up the perfect area.

Before you begin your erotic massage, it is very important that you prepare the room or location in which you will be performing the massage on your partner. Your ultimate goal will be to create a soothing and relaxing environment that encourages both romance and release of stress, anxiety, and inhibition.

The first and most important thing you will want to do when preparing for the massage is to schedule the massage during a time when you and your lady have will have a couple of hours of alone time together. You don’t even have to tell her what you’re up to. Just tell her you have a surprise for her a couple of days in advance, get your massage supplies ready, and be willing and able to perform when the time arrives.

Eliminate Interruptions

When performing a sensual and erotic massage, you will want to eliminate all possible interruptions. This includes things like turning both the phone and the answering machine off. The same goes for cell phones, pagers, and any other electronic devices that make noise or vibrate when some type of message is received.

Other possible distractions might include pets, like a cat or dog that may enter the room or whine, whimper, and scratch at the door. Watches that have alarms or beep to signal each hour can also pose as a distraction. And, of course, children!

It’s very important to keep in mind that when performing an erotic massage, your goal is to connect both physically and mentally with your partner. To achieve this, both you and your partner will need to be able to slip into a state of mind that requires intense focus and concentration. You will not want anything, not even the faintest beep of a watch or the sniffing of a dog’s nose under the door, breaking your concentration. So be sure to alleviate any interruptions that might keep you and your partner from having a relaxed and sensual environment.

Music & Sound

Nothing helps set the mood for a romance and peaceful environment like the sound of soft music. Music is also helpful in reducing background noises, such as children playing outside, cars driving by, and barking dogs.

When it comes to your choice of music, you will want to choose something that is slow and soft. The music should be relaxing.  Music that has added sounds of a soothing stream of water or ocean waves in the background can also be very soothing. There are many musical tracks made just for erotic massage. Not only are these musical tracks soft and relaxing, some of them are very sensual and seductive, so it never hurts to look into them.

Lighting

Lighting is also very important when it comes to creating a soothing and romantic environment for erotic massage. And what’s the most popular source of light that’s directly linked to romance? That’s right—candles!

When preparing your massage environment, turn off all electrical lighting and fill the room with the light from several candles. The soft warm glow and flickering of candlelight sets a romantic and seductive space. It will also help you convey the message that you are giving a sweet and pleasurable massage with several seductive experiences to look forward to.

Be sure to test out the lighting beforehand to ensure you achieve adequate lighting. When using candles, be sure to place them in areas where they can safely burn. Avoid placing them too close to curtains or near anything that could easily ignite from the constant heat, such as paper and fabric.

Massage Table Or Bed

Because your partner will be lying down for up to an hour or more, you will want to ensure the table or bed you create for her is soft and comfortable.

Although a bed can be very cozy, it can be difficult to maneuver around due to its large size. Many beds are also not high enough. As a result, if you use the bed you sleep  and have sex in to give your lady a massage, you could wind up having to hunch over most of the time, which can be very uncomfortable for your lower back. You might also have to get into the bed to perform the massage, which is not what you want to do, as it could create too much jostling around as you reposition yourself in an attempt to reach other areas of your partner’s body.

The ideal massage bed or table is one that elevates your partner to about the level of your waist and can be easily worked around while performing the massage. If you are like most people, you probably don’t have a massage table. However, you probably have a table, such as a dining table, from which you can create your own massage table. Again, be sure the massage table is warm and comfortable. You can test it out yourself first by lying down on it. If you find the surface is too hard, just add some more blankets—the thicker the better.

Massage Oil

Using oil during massage is very important. Not only will this help your hands to glide smoothly over your partner’s body, its scent, warmth, and sensation will add to the seductive nature of the massage itself. Picking the right type of oil is important.

  • Almond oil makes for a great massage oil. Although it’s a little higher in price than other oils, it’s worth every penny spent when using it for a home massage on your partner.
  • Sunflower, grape seed, safflower, sesame, peanut, coconut, and avocado oils make great massage oils. They can be easily found it most grocery stores.

To add to the sensuality of your massage oil, try adding a few drops of aromatherapy oil, such as chamomile or lavender.

Never use petroleum-based oils for massage (including baby oil). Although mineral oil is often touted as great oil for the body, many massage professionals don’t like the feel of it. It is also felt that plant-based oils are healthier for the body than mineral oils.

Be sure not to squirt the massage oil directly onto your partner. This is not romantic and you also risk the massage oil being too hot or cold if you don’t take the time to rub it in your hands first.

Last but not least, never apply the massage oils to your partner’s vagina. The breasts, of course, are fine, but avoid rubbing the massage around or inside the vagina. Before touching her vagina or inserting your fingers, you will want to wipe the oils from your hands. This means you will need to keep a warm, wet towel nearby for when the moment is right. Never wipe her with the towel, however, as this could kill the mood.

Genital Massage And Lube

If you need lubrication for the genitals during the massage, use a personal lubricant. Make sure you take time to keep it warm and out of sight prior to using it. An effective way to do this is to heat a damp hand towel in the microwave before the massage and then wrap the warm towel around the lubricant. You can then set it aside on a nearby table. When the time is right, you can use the damp towel to wipe the massage oil from your hands and replace it with the warm lubricant.

When it comes to using the massage oil, the key is to key it warm. The best way to do this is to heat the oil in a glass bowl or plastic squirt bottle in the microwave just prior to inviting your partner into the room for the massage. To keep the bowl or bottle of oil warm throughout the massage, wrap a warm towel around it that has been heated in the microwave or dryer.

Dirty Talk: Practice Makes Perfect!

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Dirty talk can be intimidating if you’ve never done it before. But if you do it over and over, you’ll get better at it – and you can make your sex life HOT! If you are new to dirty talk, you will most likely need some practice so that you are comfortable with the act when it’s time to begin.

How To Get Used To It

You can practice just like you would for a speech and even do it in front of the mirror. Try doing it out loud while you masturbate. You can practice with sexting, writing short notes or via email (but be very careful when sending to a work email address!)

Allow yourself some fantasy time and as your mind wanders as to what it is you’d like to be doing, jot it down. Once you give yourself room for self expression and the permission to write down these sexual thoughts that are floating around inside your head, you will find out just what kind of phrases turn you on. Choose a few at a time to spring on your spouse the next time you’re in bed together. Some people find it much easier to put the words down and use letters as a way of beginning their exploration into dirty talk. The more you use stimulating conversation the easier it gets and it will become like second nature.

It Takes Two To Tango

Dirty talk works best when it is used as a dialogue. No one wants to be doing all of the talking in any conversation. Encourage your partner after they’ve joined in by telling them the next day how hot you thought it was when they said something that sticks out in your mind. If you do this, they won’t be left wondering if anything they uttered was embarrassing or whether you found any of it odd or inappropriate. A little encouragement can go a long, long way.

If your partner is a novice or not very vocal, here are some ways to help get them in the game:

  • Watch an adult movie together that has dirty talk in it – either in the bedroom or out. This can help set the pace.
  • Read a book passage that has some very erotic text – these are very easy to find in most bookstores and are chocked full of plenty of sex scenes. Take turns reading them to each other or hi-lite passages that turn you on when you’re alone so that you can read them during playtime in bed.
  • Pick up a book on erotic poetry. Read portions to each other while rubbing on your partner. Ask them which ones they found the most stimulating while you were reading to them.
  • Write sexy emails back and forth and try to get the dialogue going. (Again, you probably do not need to use work email addresses for this).

Questions To Ask In The Bedroom

  • Do you want me to do it fast or slow tonight?
  • Do you like the feel of my wet ___?
  • Are you ready to shoot your load in me?
  • Where do you want me to ejaculate?

Let your partner start out with “yes” or “no” responses back to these open ended questions. Then encourage them by saying, “please, tell me more,” as they get more comfortable about talking back to you.

Oral Sex: Why YOU Need To Think About Safer Fellatio!

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Oral sex isn’t as risky as intercourse when it comes to STD’s, but there is still plenty of risk involved. There’s even more risk involved if you swallow your partner’s semen. Here’s the reason YOU need to think about safer fellatio!

Safer Oral Sex

This is a question with a simple enough answer – or maybe not. Safer oral sex practices depend on the type of sexually transmitted disease that you’re trying to prevent against. If you’re trying to prevent them all, you might as well just go and get a trash bag to cover your partner’s penis and his entire genital area. This is why it is so, so important to have regular exams and STD testing if you and your partner are not monogamous or if you plan to be monogamous, just one STD test before hooking up.

Condoms Are Essential!

If you’d like to practice safer oral sex and don’t enjoy the trash bag idea, you can still protect yourself from many of the other sexually transmitted diseases by using condoms. Condoms will not protect you against genital herpes or the human papillomavirus, however they are so much safer than unprotected oral sex. If you’re fairly concerned about herpes or genital warts, you can combine a condom with plastic wrap (easily found at your local grocery store) to protect your hands and face from coming into contact with skin in your partner’s genital area.

What Kind Of Condoms To Use

The best condoms for fellatio are either the non-lubricated kind or the kind with flavored, edible lubricants. If you try to perform fellatio on a partner wearing a regular, lubricated condom (especially if it is lubricated with spermicide) you are going to be sorry! If you or your partner have a latex allergy, polyurethane condoms are available and can actually be much more useful during fellatio than regular condoms because they tend to be thinner. However, the flavored condoms (which usually come in their corresponding colors) add a bit of fun to a fellatio session while still protecting you and your partner against sexually transmitted diseases that can be contracted through fellatio.

Think About Gloves Too

Condoms are not the only safer-sex tool that you should have on hand if you’re planning on a great (and safer!) fellatio session. Many guys enjoy hand action in addition to oral when receiving fellatio and to be perfectly honest – if infected semen comes into contact with your hands and you happen to have a small cut or abrasion (such as a paper cut) on your skin, you are at a high risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease. Latex or polyurethane gloves can be your best friend during a fellatio session! These are also great if you are planning to touch your partner’s anus and all and it even keeps long or untrimmed nails and hangnails from scratching your partner and making him uncomfortable.

Don’t Brush It Under The Rug

Sure, insisting on condoms or even gloves during oral sex might make you feel like you’re “ruining the mood,” and it may even make your partner look at you like you’ve lost your mind. That is, however, better than the nurse at the health clinic looking at you like she’s about to tell you that you have HIV.

How To Meet More Women Than Ever Before In Just ONE Month!

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Dating tips can help you improve your game, that takes time. You can improve yourself and improve how you approach women, but it doesn’t happen overnight. But what if you could speed things up? What if you could start getting dates right away? Here are surefire dating tips that can guarantee you’ll meet more girls in just ONE month!

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The Best Ways To Meet Women

Meeting women doesn’t have to be as difficult or as intimidating as it sounds, although all the dating tips in the world aren’t going to make you feel like finding a girl is any less daunting. But it doesn’t have to be! There are actually lots of ways to get introduced to girls, and many of them may be through things you’re already doing! For example, some of the best places to meet girls are through activities and things you’re already involved in. If you have an interest or a hobby, try to find a group or club that you can get into where you can get to know people who share your same interests and passions.

Another great way to find girls is during the day – most girls are on guard at night, when they’re out clubbing or in bars. They’re expecting to get hit on, probably by a bunch of weirdos, so they’re automatically on guard against anything like that. During the day in relaxed situations like riding the bus or train or going to the supermarket is actually a great way to run into a girl while hear guard is down and start up a flirty conversation. You can make a much better first impression this way! Going to tourist spots or travelling, or enrolling in dance classes (those are loaded with girls) are also excellent ways to expose yourself to more people in general – and more girls.

Take Advantage Of The Weekend

Find things that are happening on the weekend, like festivals or get togethers. Bars, clubs, and even beaches can be great places to go on the weekend because they’re literally packed with people! Don’t just sit around at home on your couch on a Saturday – actually get out there and go somewhere that there are lots of people. You’re bound to meet someone there! Even the mall can be a great place to go – anywhere there are ladies around, that’s where you want to be! It may be nerve wracking at first, especially if you’re not a very social person, but as you continue to put yourself out there, it’s going to become easier and easier and you’re going to become more confident when doing it.

Don’t Be Afraid Of Speed Dating Or A Singles Event

If you live in a larger metropolitan area, chances are, there are lots of speed dating or singles events out there that you can attend. Most guys are a little shy when it comes to doing this type of thing, but there’s really no reason for it. Consider it no harm, no foul. If you meet someone that you really hit it off with, great! If not, you’re not going home any different than when you arrived. It’s also a great way to practice talking to women (which will come into play when you meet a girl you actually have a connection with), so you’re not really leaving empty handed at all. The more exposure you have to being around girls and talking to them, the more comfortable you’re going to be when you actually want to ask a girl out.

Enlist Your Friends

A lot of relationships start by two people meeting through friends. This is actually one of the best dating tips out there, but it’s often overlooked because a lot of guys think that it’s so simple, it can’t possibly work. Well, it can! If you get introduced to a woman through a friend (and you’re a good friend to this person), you’re actually going to come very highly recommended. So while you still want to make sure you’re making an excellent first impression, she’s already going to be thinking good things about you before she meets you. It also helps to be friends with guys who are actually great with the ladies! While it may turn you off a little to consider making friends with someone who is so smooth he gets all the girls, but think of it as a learning opportunity. Watch what he does and how girls respond to it. That is actually a great way to change up your game and start doing things that work!

Also, make friends with girls, even if they’re not necessarily the type you want to date. This is one of the dating tips that is often put on the back burner also, because many guys feel as though if they’re not going to be meeting the girl they could potentially date and have a romantic connection with, why bother? But remember, girls have female friends. And sometimes they’re hot!

Have Confidence And Get Comfortable In Social Situations

One of the best dating tips – if not THE best – is to improve your confidence by getting yourself out there and into social situations. It may feel awkward at first, but it is most definitely going to pay off when you finally meet the girl you want to ask out. If you’re just not ready to get out there yet, consider getting a dating coach. It could be your best friend, or another guy who happens to be really great with the ladies. You can even consider hiring a professional dating coach if you want the best advice. A dating coach can see what you’re doing and come up with a customized plan to help you get more girls in the shortest amount of time possible. Some professional dating coaches can be expensive, but it is well worth it to help you hone your skills so that eventually, YOU can be the suave guy that picks up all the ladies!

Sex Tips: What Is Sexual Programming?

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Sex tips are how to’s and what to do’s, but what if you looked deeper into it? Understanding your own “sexual programming” may be all the sex tips you need.

What comes to mind when you hear the word “SEX”? What pictures flood your head? What positions do you see, what sounds do you hear? How far will you go in its name and what are your boldest, darkest fantasies? How about your most embarrassing bedroom moments? Recall the best hump you’ve ever had. Who were you with?

Then imagine the one person on this planet you absolutely want to do it with. What would that be like?

Think about these things.

What Is “Sexual Programming?”

Your answers form part of your Sexual Programming (SP). Every idea, picture, expectation about sex is part of your SP. Our Sexual Programming is essentially what we think about “SEX.” It is a collection of beliefs, conditioning, and how it has remained or evolved over the years.

You have your own sexual ideas, sexual biases and therefore your own personal SP. You didn’t come into this with zero knowledge or expectation of what we’ll be talking about. Heck, you may even have a whole bag of techniques and a wealth of experience.

So let me ask you: How much do you consciously know about your own Sexual Programming?

Knowing Your Own SP

The problem with many people, and not just guys, is that they are too focused on sex tips and don’t have the vaguest idea about their SP’s. They don’t know what they want, not having taken the time to really think about it. For sure they want lots of hot sex. But ask them “What kind?”, and they start stuttering the details.

Sexual Programming determines how one goes about the act. If it’s just a libido-quenching affair for you, you’ll have no qualms with one-night stands (and definitely won’t call the next day.) If for you it’s something sacred, you might be a virgin waiting for your equally virgin bride. You can be the former or the latter, and everything in between.

SP not only guides your actions, expectations and rationalizations, it defines your experience – that’s how powerful it is!

Reprogram Yourself

If the ideas, thoughts and feelings you have about sex aren’t ideal, it’s time to reprogram yourself. A poor SP can lead to an unsatisfying sex life, no matter how many sex tips you read about and utilize. You can reprogram yourself a number of ways:

  • If you were abused as a child in some way, seek help. This most certainly is part of your SP and can drastically reduce satisfaction in your current sex life.
  • Research sex tips. Arm yourself with the knowledge of how to please a woman and how to please yourself.
  • Communicate with your partner about your sex life, what you want and what they want.
  • Be open minded to new things and new possibilities.
  • Be confident!