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You are here: Home / Archives for loveandsex

Don’t Let Sharing A Bed Ruin Your Relationship – Or Your Sleep!

By loveandsex

A relationship involves sleeping in the same bed as your partner – but how will this affect your sleep schedule? And will it wreak havoc on your partnership?

While sharing a bed certainly has a romantic upside, it can wreak havoc on your sleep schedule. Talking to your partner about your issues, like being kept awake by snoring, can help you both solve your sleeping problems. Compromise in the name of catching a few more zzz’s will keep you both happier, at bedtime and beyond.

There was a time back in the ‘50s when you couldn’t show couples sharing a bed on TV. Think back to I Love Lucy, and you’ll recall that Lucy and Ricky had a pair of twin-sized beds in their master bedroom. It seems silly to think of a married couple not sharing a bed, yet anyone who’s ever slept next to a snorer or a blanket hog has probably fantasized about having such a sleeping arrangement.

Sleep Deprivation Means More Fights

Much as we’ve all enjoyed cuddling up under the covers with our significant other, we’ve also probably had at least a few nights where our shut eye quality suffered thanks to having a bed buddy. That might seem like a small sacrifice to make for love, but sleep deprivation is a pretty evil thing. If your partner is disrupting your shut eye night after night, you’re bound to be tired on a daily basis. If you’re tired all the time, you’re likely cranky, and you might find yourself snapping at your mate more often. Things that wouldn’t bother you a bit if you were rested might cause blowout fighting when you’re sleep deprived.

Lay Down The Ground Rules

So how can you get your much needed shut eye without reverting to separate beds? First and foremost, you and your partner need to discuss what, if any, problems you’re having. If you’re a light sleeper and your S.O. snores loudly or talks, talk to them about it. How bad and frequent is the snoring? Is it a once and awhile thing that you can use earplugs to block out? If it’s a little more frequent—say your mate has bad allergies and snores when he/she is stuffed up—try over-the-counter remedies.

Buy him or her a box of those nose strips that help open up your nasal passages so you can breathe easier and don’t snore as much. If the snoring is regular and violent sounding, your significant other might need to go to the doctor or even do a study. They might have a more serious problem like sleep apnea, which can be very dangerous. The doctor could help both your partner’s health and your sanity.

Other Relationship Problems From Sleeping In The Same Bed

Of course, there are other annoyances that can come from sharing a bed. If you’re lucky enough to be a heavy sleeper, you might not notice if your partner tosses and turns or hogs the covers all to his or herself. If you’re not a heavy sleeper, you might wake up every time your S.O. rolls over or pulls the blanket off you.

Make your mate aware of their habits in as polite a manner as possible. Then discuss possible solutions, like buying a better mattress that doesn’t magnify every move your partner makes. Maybe you simply need a bigger bed to put more distance between each other, or even just larger blankets so you’ve each got more to wrap up in.

Most of these problems are at their worst if you have the misfortune of being a light sleeper. If you are, one of the easiest ways to make sure you sleep through the night despite your partner is to go to bed before they do. Of course, you might not always be able to get to bed a little earlier than your S.O.

When you can, however, try to give yourself time enough to get to the point of deep sleep before your mate comes to bed. If you’re really out of it by the time they start snoring or kicking around, you’ll be less likely to notice it. Another option is to have sex before you hit the hay. If you both get a really good orgasm, it’s likely you’ll both be out like a light.

Of course, if none of these ideas work, you may very well have to resort to sleeping Lucy-and-Ricky-style. That, or you might want to invest in some good sleeping pills.

Filed Under: Relationship Advice Tagged With: committment, fighting, love, marriage, Relationship Advice

The 3 Phases Of Oral Sex You MUST Know!

By loveandsex

Oral sex isn’t just going down there and getting your lick/suck on however you like. You can’t just head south and expect her to be able to have an orgasm just from you putting your mouth down there and moving it around for awhile. There’s some technique involved and if you REALLY want to rock her world and give her sheet soaking, earth shattering orgasms, you need to learn these three phases of oral sex TONIGHT!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-ME3DvfM9w&feature=channel_video_title[/youtube]

What Are The Three Phases Of Great Oral Sex?

While a man may think that he can just jump in and give a girl oral sex and get her off just by moving his mouth around down there, it’s just not true. Sure, girls love it, but there’s a certain way to do it if you really want to make it incredible for her. The best way to bring her to a knee weakening orgasm through oral sex is to move through the different phases of it:

Teasing

Teasing is very important to get a woman warmed up. Even though oral sex is considered foreplay, you need to lead up to it too with a little teasing before fully going down on her. Start slowly and softly. Instead of rushing in to lick her clitoris, start by slowly kissing the insides of her thighs. As you get closer and closer to her vagina, breathe softly on it. Brush your lips against her clitoris lightly enough to tickle her.

When she’s fully aroused and ready for you to get down to business, her clitoris is going to be erect. You may also notice her breathing get a little heavier or that she’s bucking her hips against you, begging for more stimulation. When you sense that she is ready, it’s time to move on to the next step.

Variety

The variety phase is an essential component to great oral sex, because women need variety. Even if you’re using a particular technique that she seems to like really well, it can get tiring after a little while and she may become desensitized to it. Doing different things and experimenting with different techniques is important to get her to climb closer and closer to orgasm.

As you try different things, watch her reactions to them. Gauge her body language to see what she really enjoys and responds best too, as well as other techniques that she seems to like okay, but they don’t really push her hot buttons. Here are some great examples of different moves to try to find out which ones she craves:

  • Thrust your tongue inside her vagina.
  • Use different tongue strokes on the clitoris.
  • Suck gently on her clitoris.
  • Insert your finger in her vagina while licking her clitoris.

Orgasm

When her breathing becomes even heavier and it feels like she’s about to lose control, she’s heading into the orgasm phase of oral sex. When you sense that she is getting close, presumably because you found an oral sex technique that she really responds to, the most important thing is to keep doing what you’re doing. This is not the time that you want to switch up and try a new technique to see if she likes it even better – you may actually ruin her orgasm if you do that. Whatever you find that she likes, that’s what you want to do as she goes through the orgasm phase.

You can start going a little faster and a little harder as she gets closer and closer to climax, so long as you continue to do the same thing. Communicate with her though, and make sure she’s liking what you’re doing. She may not want you to go faster or harder – she may like what you’re doing exactly the way you’re doing it. Encourage her to communicate with you and if you do something that she likes and she knows will make her orgasm, have her say, “Don’t stop!”

Ladies, it’s not up to your guy to read your mind. If you like what he’s doing, be sure and tell him not to do anything else! Or you may end up being disappointed if he misreads your signals and tries to use a different technique just as you’re about to climax.

Have Fun With It

One of the most important aspects of oral sex – for a girl or a guy – is enthusiasm. When you go down on someone and you’re not really into it, they can tell – immediately. So above all, have fun with it! Show your partner you enjoy it and you like pleasing them!

Filed Under: Oral Sex Tagged With: clitoris, cunnilingus, female orgasm, oral sex, orgasm, sex tips

How To Be The Most Confident Lover She’s Ever Had

By loveandsex

Sex is something men love.  That’s hardly news. But what is the difference between getting it on and having the best intercourse ever? Use your brain. Yes, that is the answer. Your brain is the greatest powerful sex organ you have. Thinking about intercourse and understanding what you like is an important but commonly overlooked, step in being great at sex.

When Sex Is More Than Just Doin’ It

Men tend to react simply and physically to arousal: “I see a hot girl. I want to have sex with the hot girl.” Transforming that into mind blowing intercourse means getting to know yourself, and I don’t just mean manually. Understand who you are as a sexual being. These days, men are bombarded with sexual imagery. Porn is readily available. Half-naked girls are constantly bouncing across your TV screen and through the pages of magazines. As a result, men tend to take their sexual cues from outside sources. While new ideas are always welcome, it is important to explore the real reasons behind your arousals, and thrilling ways to satisfy them.

Expand Your Ideas About Sex

Let’s take the hot girl from before. You already know you want to get it on with her, but what is that going to look like? Ask yourself some questions:

  • How do you want to touch her?
  • How do you want her to touch you?
  • What are you hoping to achieve during your encounter (besides orgasm)?

What Turns You On?

Understand what turns you on and why, and learn how to communicate it. Being great at sex works in both your favors. For example, if you love performing oral sex, your partner has the benefit of being in bed with someone who is completely engrossed in the task at hand. She may reach orgasm several times before you’re done. However, if that is something you’re not into, your partner will sense it, and that is uncomfortable for everyone involved.

Getting to know yourself sexually is valuable in understanding your own comfort zone. The kinkiest of kink may be intriguing on screen, but that doesn’t mean it translates well into real life. Understanding your sexual boundaries and how to communicate them to your partner will help you avoid unsatisfying encounters.

The brain is a powerful organ. Your body only reacts the way the brain instructs. When you understand the satisfaction of the intercourse you’re having in your mind, you can bring it to the bedroom. You will be a more self assured with sex, allowing you to satisfy both yourself and your partner better than ever.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: female orgasm, have better sex, orgasm, sex tips

How To Make Pick Up Lines Work For You

By loveandsex

Pick up lines may seem cheesy to most guys. You often hear the horror stories about pick up lines gone wrong, but very few stories about ones that were successful and ended up getting a guy a phone number. Believe it or not, there are ways to make pick up lines win almost any girl over. Here’s how to make them work for YOU.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IA01mO8feRQ&feature=channel_video_title[/youtube]

Why Pick Up Lines Rarely Work

Pick up lines rarely work because most of the time when a guy uses one, he’s hoping that the phrase he’s using is going to do all the work for him. He expects to speak these “magical words” that when put together into a sentence, automatically make a woman swoon. If you go into dating thinking that this is what pick up lines will get you, you’re going to be very disappointed!

Instead, think of pick up lines as a simple mechanism to get a girl’s attention. You want to get her attention and get her to notice you’re there, hopefully so you can strike up a conversation with her. The key to successful lines is to have a great attitude with it. The words you say may get her attention, but she’s going to be attracted to your positive, upbeat and outgoing attitude even more.

Learn From Guys Who Are Good With Girls

If you have a friend that seems amazingly great with girls and you’re not sure how he does it, ask him! Ask him what he does to get girls to be attracted to him and want to date him. Go out with him for a night and watch how he interacts with the ladies, what he says and what he does. Learn from him! Try to mimic what he does, but in your own way. Learning by example is a great way to practice your skills in talking to women and asking girls out.

Make Her Laugh

Don’t be so focused on learning “pick up lines” – instead, learn some funny one liners that are guaranteed to make her laugh. Make her laugh and get her attention, and you’ve opened the door for a great conversation in which you can flirt and build sexual tension – which is exactly what you want!

To find funny one-liners, try watching some stand up comedy or some good sitcoms. When you find something that really makes you laugh and you think would make other people – especially girls – laugh, write it down. Commit it to memory. Practice saying it so that when you’re in a social situation where this particular line would be the perfect thing to say, it comes out smoothly. Women love to laugh, so if you can make her laugh, you’re well on your way to getting a date.

Relax And Have Fun With It

So many guys take dating too seriously, when it’s really all about having fun. Sure, learning lines can help you be more comfortable when talking to women (it’s a little harder to get choked up when you know ahead of time what you’re going to say, but it still happens), but they’re not going to win you a girl just because of what you say. The success of pick up lines lies not with what phrase you’re actually using, but the attitude behind it.

Start using pick up lines to become more comfortable with girls in general. Get comfortable approaching women and talking to them. If you have friends who are girls, try some of your stuff out on them. See what they think, and listen to any pointers they want to give you. If you don’t have friends who are girls, it’s time to make some! Having friends who are girls will help you get more comfortable talking to women in general, and it will also allow you to practice some of your pick up lines so when you actually meet that girl you’re interested in and want to date, you’re comfortable with what you’re going to say and how you’re going to say it.

If You Can Make Her Laugh, You Can Date Her

Girls want to laugh! They want to be around a guy who knows how to have fun and how to tell a joke. Work on being funnier in general. Go to parties or get-togethers and work on being the one that everyone stands around because he’s so funny! When you meet a girl, she’s not going to remember what you say so much as how you made her feel. If you can make her feel like she’s having a great time and that she’s special, you’re a shoe in. The trick is to make her laugh, even if it’s a funny joke about you, and still be strong and confident underneath.

Women are able to see the many facets of a person – she will be able to tell that you’re not only funny, but that you’re sweet, sensitive and kind as well. If you’re strong and confident, she’s also going to see that. If you’re faking it, she’s going to see that too. Nothing much escapes women, because they’re incredibly intuitive. Be the guy who is strong and confident enough to get people laughing. When you get that special girl laughing, that’s when she’s going to start feeling that chemistry and connection between you.

Filed Under: Pick Up Lines Tagged With: ask a girl out, Dating Tips, pick up lines, seduction

Auto Cunnilingus – Can Women Lick Their Own Clitoris?

By loveandsex

Auto cunnilingus is where women bend forward enough to give themselves oral sex – but can they really do this? You’ve seen contortionists on television and in movies bend ways you didn’t even imagine they could, but can flexible women actually go down on themselves? Is it even possible?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dmu6_CgGUk&feature=related[/youtube]

What Is Auto Cunnilingus?

Auto cunnilingus is the act of a woman bending forward far enough to reach their tongue to their clitoris and licking it as a form of female masturbation. It sounds difficult to do – and it is! Very few women are able to do this! Some men can give themselves oral sex too – this is called auto fellatio. With auto fellatio, a man will bend forward far enough to suck on his own penis. Very rarely if ever is a man who can do this able to actually give himself a full on blowjob. What usually happens is the man sucks on the head of his penis while he masturbates the shaft with his hand.

It is much harder for women to give themselves oral sex, simply because they have to bend down a lot farther to reach their own clitoris. While you won’t see many people engaging in self oral sex, you’ll see that there are far less women who are able to do it than men who can.

Can A Woman Really Stretch That Far?

While it is possible for a woman to be flexible enough to bend far enough forward that she can reach her vagina with her mouth, it is very rare indeed. Very few women can actually do this and if they can, it’s usually because they’ve had some sort of gymnastics training and have had lots of practice with flexibility or are a contortionist, who bend their bodies to extreme angles for entertainment.

Women who can give themselves auto cunnilingus can usually only go down on themselves for a few seconds, possibly up to a minute or two. Certainly not long enough to give themselves an orgasm without additional masturbation with their fingers or a sex toy.

The most common sex position for auto cunnilingus is lying on the back with the hands under the buttocks. The woman can lean her neck and head forward, while using her arms to push her bottom towards her head. Also, a woman may find it easier if she has someone to help her with bending. It may be easier for her to relax her body and focus on reaching the clitoris while a partner sits behind her and gently pushes her bottom forward.

Can Women Learn To Be That Flexible?

It’s possible for women who aren’t able to lick their own clitoris to learn how to do it, but it requires some real motivation. Generally, it’s not something that you can try once or twice and be able to do – it takes years of practice to be able to train your body to be that flexible. It’s not easy, and it’s not going to happen quickly. You generally have to be fit to begin with, and training your body to stretch that much takes time and patience. Even contortionists and trained gymnasts have to work very hard to be able to stretch that much.

If you’d like to learn how to stretch like that, take it slow. Start with small stretches and work your way up. Don’t push yourself too hard – you could really end up hurting yourself! Take your time – since this isn’t something that is going to happen right away, it’s important that it’s something you really want to be able to do.

A Word Of Caution

Bending the body to such extreme angles like with auto cunnilingus can be dangerous. Most people’s bodies are not designed to stretch that much or contort into those types of extreme positions. While trained gymnasts, extremely flexible people and contortionists may be able to get into these types of positions without hurting themselves, it’s likely that your average gal trying to do this may end up with a sprain or a stretched or torn ligament.

Before you attempt to try giving yourself oral sex, make sure that you are well aware that you can do some serious damage to your muscles, joints and tendons if you’re not careful. Make sure you’re fit and healthy enough to try and if it hurts a lot, stop!

Filed Under: Oral Sex Tagged With: cunnilingus, female masturbation, masturbation, oral sex

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